


Winter Widow

by TalkMarvelToMe



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Drinking Games, Drunk Clint Barton, F/M, Matchmaker Natasha Romanov, Natasha knows all, OFC is a badass fighter, Protective Bucky Barnes, Super Soldier OFC, They're Not, Tony Stop Drinking, Wanda and Vision Think They're Discreet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-07 14:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 103,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10362942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalkMarvelToMe/pseuds/TalkMarvelToMe
Summary: What happens when Hydra doesn't stop at the Winter Soldier program and the Red Room doesn't stop at the Black Widow program?But will another enhanced assassin fit on the Avengers roster?





	1. Target Acquired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First fanfic, guys! Comments and suggestions appreciated:)

Sitting in a cold metal chair, Nicolette watched the antiquated film playing on the suspended screen at the front of the room. Every aspect of her training within R2, formerly the Red Room, was made to lack comfortability. The rationale behind this lifestyle was to ensure every graduate of an R2 program would be accustomed to never allowing themselves to become too comfortable thus letting their guard down. Overall, R2 was a rather dismal place to inhabit with grey concrete walls accented with cold metal furniture contrasted by occasional advancements of technology which seemed rather out of place. One of these seemingly misplaced pieces of the future was the plane of glass suspended in front of Nicolette which projected an archaic video of an enhanced soldier decimating his opponents. As the scenes on the glass screen rapidly changed, Madame B, the organizer of the Winter Widow program, narrated.

“This is the Winter Soldier, surely you recall his abilities from your graduation exam.”

The resolution started increasing as the videos on the screen depicted more recent events – the soldier in question shown with superhuman capabilities, easily plowing through government forces until he was subdued by a shower of tranquilizing darts.

“He is currently in our custody – cryogenically imprisoned in our most remote maximum security facility. However, we have reason to believe the only other Red Room graduate whom he trained has been a subject of American experimentation under the trade name Omega. We believe Omega has been hidden from the public eye by being grouped under the Avengers. Here is the widow whom we believe is currently under Omega control.”

Immediately, Nicolette recognized the lady in the photo as the most decorated Widow graduate from any Red Room Program, Natalia Romanova.

“Colloquially known as the Black Widow, she is your assignment. Under Omega, she has been brainwashed in a failed attempt to replicate the mental training Hydra provided the Winter Soldier. Omega plans to take down Hydra – all that is left of us – with her as their prize weapon. To prohibit the extinction of our efforts, we must act first. While your class underwent the same training as the Black Widow, you will prove to be the dominant opponent as we have equipped your class with the state of the art mental conditioning modelled after the Winter Soldier.”

The next photo appeared on the suspended screen – blueprints of the Avengers facility as Madame B continued her narration of how to infiltrate the compound.

“The Avengers have built a state of the art compound located in a relatively remote region of New York. With your training, you should find that overcoming the security systems adopted by the Avengers will be easy. Currently, most inhabitants are abroad fighting for their various righteous causes. Therefore, aside from the Black Widow, the only individuals present should be mere scientists and other laypersons. You are to execute Black Widow on site and deal with any interferences likewise.”

With a click of a button, the screen shut off as the debriefing was concluded.

“You fly out in one hour and are expected to return to the Red Room within four days having completed your mission without external assistance – meaning we won’t activate your mental conditioning as the training is incomplete. Winter Widow?”

With one swift movement, Nicolette stood at attention and sharply uttered, “confirmed.”


	2. The Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Potential Trigger: Violence)

Having been spying on Natasha from her strategic perch in the kitchen, she swiftly pulled her goggles over her eyes and concealed her hair with a snug hood. The concept of concealing her identity was ingrained in her mind nearly more than the knowledge of her identity. Nicolette slowly walked into the living area where Natasha was watching a movie; the movie paused as Nicolette’s foot found a creak in the floor. Natasha spun around and immediately saw the foreign figure standing before her with all skin covered. Walking around the couch, stopping next to a side table, Natasha slowly spoke, “who are you and what are you doing here?” She discretely slipped her hand behind the lamp while she spoke.

Nicolette immediately knew her sly movement was an attempt to signal for help, pressing some sort of emergency aid button. This peaked Nicolette’s curiosity as the Widow program she knew Natasha to be a graduate of produced independent soldiers, women who not only never relied upon another individual but were trained to never trust another. Nicolette, without responding and risking revealing any clues to her identity, lunged forward planting her left foot and both hands firmly on the ground allowing her right leg to spin counter clockwise taking Natasha’s legs out from under her. Swiftly, Natasha caught herself on the edge of the second couch and took a swing at Nicolette who deflected the anticipated strike.

While Nicolette knew she didn’t have the size advantage, she knew she had a strength advantage due to her advanced training in R2 which included the infusions. Thus, she began what appeared to be a cartwheel but wrapped her legs around Natasha’s torso and pulled her firmly to the ground. Seizing her current upper hand, Nicolette immediately slipped her arm under Natasha’s neck and applied torque with her available hand. Arching her back to further the pressure, Nicolette felt all the resistance depart from Natasha’s body. As her goal wasn’t to simply knock her opponent out, Nicolette didn’t release her grip, feeling the faint beating pulse begin to slow further.

“Nat!” Nicolette shifted her gaze to the hallway where the booming voice came from. A man ran into the living room with a horrified expression upon seeing Natasha’s compromised situation. Nicolette immediately released her grip upon recognizing to whom the voice belonged to – the Winter Soldier.

The only other time she had seen him was her graduation exam from her R2 Program where she successfully took him down after the longest combative fight with which she had ever been involved. She was told by the Program that the Winter Soldier was suspended in cryogenic stasis on a maximum-security Hydra location. However, contrary to that information, not only was he fully thawed out in another country, he was voluntarily aiding Natasha. Was he also living here, living a regular life, outside the restrictive leash of the R2 Program and Hydra?

Nicolette ducked as the Winter Soldier dove with arms outstretched for her core to take her down. She had already outsmarted him before at graduation, she knew she could do it again. Nicolette planted a flat foot in the small of his back as he was getting up from his unsuccessful dive, shoving him into the wall. Emerging from a large dent in the wall, the Winter Soldier spun around driving his cybernetic arm into Nicolette’s side and let out a sharp electrical jolt. She didn’t remember the prosthetic having an electrical charge or any further abilities aside from a strength that rivaled the bodily strength given by the venous infusions. Breaking away from the debilitating charge, Nicolette grabbed the metal and twisted fiercely, creating a torque his artificial shoulder was struggling to accommodate. Then she saw it – the Avengers insignia engraved within a red star on the metal.

The rumors Nicolette had heard while on another mission were true then, despite the falsified information the Program fed her. It was awfully difficult to retain her focus on this mission when her thoughts were flooded with doubt regarding the Program – why would she be assigned the elimination of a brainwashed Widow whom, she was misinformed, was not only kidnapped against her will but being brainwashed to follow the Avengers’ agenda? These were evidently false and the Program had the means of knowing the correct information. Why wasn’t she provided with correct data?

Not able to overcome the strength of the Winter Soldier’s prosthetic arm, Nicolette slipped her knife out of her thigh sheath and gracefully tossed it up to allow for a proper re-grip. She lunged the knife toward his neck only to be deflected by his forearm. He intertwined her arm within his applying a forceful pressure until she could no longer retain hold on the knife. The Winter Soldier took the knife as he released her arm and threw it towards her, rapidly rotating the weapon, blade over hilt. Nicolette had just enough time to react and jerked her body to the side, only receiving a minor cut on her shoulder. The momentum of the knife took it flying through the nearby window prompting an alarm to go off.

A strong kick to her abdomen catapulted Nicolette into the kitchen island causing her head to ricochet off the thick metal sink. Recovering from the slight daze, Nicolette struggled to shift just one foot underneath her petite frame. Suddenly, both her feet were dangling above the now blood stained white tile; Nicolette groped at the hand firmly planted around her neck attempting to get some air into her lungs. Realizing her attempt at prying the Winter Soldier’s hand open was unsuccessful, she mustered up enough strength to land a jolting kick to his chest, knocking him enough off balance that he released.

Before she could catch a full breath, she saw another person enter the room and run over the Natasha’s slowly reviving body, “Nat, what happened? Who’s that?” She recognized the man as soon as he spoke, Steve Rogers, Captain America.

A strong hand grabbed her shoulder and forced her to her knees as the barrel of the Winter Soldier’s gun was pressed firmly to the back of her head. Natasha, with additional aid, sat up and was finally able to respond to the man helping her as she attempted to decipher the progress of the fight. “Don’t know; came out of nowhere, nearly killed me until Barnes responded to the distress signal.”

Nicolette, not fully understanding the nearby conversation, was curious about the alternative yet seemingly positive living situation of Natasha, Steve Rogers, and the Winter Soldier.  Not only did all three come to each other’s aid; but, they appeared to all inhabit this compound. Was it possible that Natasha found a genuine way out of the Red Room’s Program, one that provided a life worth living?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the familiar sound from behind her head, the click of preparing a gun for firing. Realizing she was running out of time and desperate for answers, she quickly stammered, “I remember you from the Red Room!” 

Everyone froze.


	3. Interrogation

The Winter Soldier was the first to speak behind Nicolette, “Natasha, your call.”

“Who sent you?”

With her mask still concealing her face and the gun still at her head, Nicolette complied, “Madame B – the leader of the extension of Hydra involved with R2, but probably known to you as the Red Room.”

The three were looking between each other, their faces donning expressions littered with confusion. Natasha got to her feet as she retorted, “Hydra, the Red Room, and all of their associated programs have been dissolved.”

“That’s what they wanted everyone to think.”

Another man ran into the room before Nicolette could continue, “what the hell is going on in here? Who is that? And since when do we execute people in the living room?” Without his suit, he wasn’t as readily identifiable but Nicolette recognized him as Tony Stark, Iron Man.

The Winter Soldier responded, “she claims to be from the Red Room, I’m assuming here to execute Nat but we’re not sure why?”

“We need answers.” Natasha began. She looked over to the last man who walked in the room as she continued, “Tony, that work station of yours in the basement is still empty, right? I need an interrogation room.”

Tony looked surprised at the barked-out orders, “um, I think this is a little above us, Nat. We can use that room as holding; but, I’m calling Fury.”

“I’m not waiting days for the U.N. to make a decision only to never get our questions answered. You know as soon as we call, we’ll never see her again and I doubt they’ll release the interrogation.”

Steve Rogers spoke soft, trying to calm Nat down, “as much as I hate to admit it, I think Tony’s right. This could be a lot bigger than just her,” he pointed at Nicolette who was still on her knees with the gun against the back of her skull.

“Rogers, never thought you’d be one to back Tony,” Natasha sounded rather accusatory. “Give me a few hours with her.”

“90 minutes. Then, we call Fury.”

“Deal.” Natasha then turned to Nicolette, “stand up and remove your mask.”

Nicolette stood up as commanded, the barrel of the Winter Soldier’s gun following her every move. Standing amidst the other occupants of the room, her short stature was even more prominent. Nearly a foot shorter than both the Winter Soldier and Rogers, Nicolette maxed out at five foot two. Pulling her hood over her head, a long dark brown braid fell down her back. She removed the goggles followed by the mask covering her mouth and nose, tossing them to the floor next to her. “Under my jacket, I have two electrocution batons,” Nicolette warned as she slowly unzipped her jacket and slipped it off, letting it fall to the floor.

“Hands up.” Natasha walked towards Nicolette to remove the batons, handing them to Stark. Natasha removed the other weapons made readily available by Nicolette’s belt, thigh holster, and anklet. “Okay, we both know that’s not everything.”

Nicolette sighed as she knew Natasha was right and slipped her hand under the back of her shirt. Immediately her wrist was immobilized by the cybernetic arm of her captor behind her prompting her to let out a slight gasp.

“There is a three-inch knife holstered between my shoulder blades.” Nicolette lifted the back of her shirt enough for him to grab the weapon – a single blade with a sharp side for penetration and a dull side with a few ridges for gripping, no hilt which allowed the knife to be concealed rather inconspicuously.

“What are these powered by?” Stark was still admiring the batons Natasha had removed.

“They never said. But, through my own digging I’m presuming it’s a derivative from the tesseract,” Nicolette concluded as she slipped off her boots with her hands still in the air.

“Well, make yourself at home why don’t you,” Stark sarcastically responded to the removal.

“The soles of my shoes have knives built in. Click the heels together once for right knife, twice for both.”

“Nice to know the KGB is getting pointers from the Wizard of Oz.” Stark had picked up the boots and clinked the heels together twice. Sure enough, two short knives jutted out from the toes.

“Enough playing, down to the basement.” Natasha led the way to what used to be Tony’s garage until he had outgrown it and moved into a renovated warehouse.

***   ***   ***

While the gang determined that Natasha would be the best to interrogate Nicolette, they were hesitant about leaving the two alone in the room together; so, they moved to a work out room with a double-sided mirror. Rogers, Stark, and the Winter Soldier could see and hear everything that happened in that room; but, Nicolette didn’t know.

“Are you four here by choice?” Nicolette spoke first, handcuffed to a metal chair.

Sitting in an identical chair opposite of Nicolette was Natasha. “Normally the one in handcuffs is not the one asking the questions. What’s your name?”

“Nicolette.”

“Is that the name they gave you?” Natasha continued as Nicolette nodded her head in affirmation, “then may I call you Nicole or Nic?”

“Nic is fine.”

“To answer your question, Nic: yes, we are all here by choice. But, given we have limited time with each other, I’d prefer if you’d start talking about the Red Room.” Natasha maintained a sharp yet calm attitude.

“They changed the name from the Red Room to R2 attempting to conceal the continuation of the programs. My class was the next generation of widows. They modeled our training after yours since you were their most successful graduate until you were brainwashed by the Avengers – then they changed it up a bit.”

“I wasn’t brainwashed.”

“I realize that now. My assignment was to eliminate you since, being brainwashed to destroy the remainder of Hydra and R2, you were our strongest threat. I was also told that the Winter Soldier was cryopreserved at a Hydra location and the other Avengers were not at the compound. I’m now seeing that the vast majority of the information fed to me by Madame B was inaccurate.”

“The Red Room never made mistakes like that regarding information.”

“That’s what I thought,” Nic shrugged her shoulders in confusion.

“Did you ever voice any doubts about the program to any organizers?”

“Well, yes. I’m trained to give objective opinions regarding the structure and efficacy of the program.” Nicolette nonchalantly uttered the well-rehearsed line as Madame B would always recite that phrase before every mental conditioning exercise. Her response – or ‘objective opinion’ – would often include her hesitations with assignments and executions. They ingrained the concept that the world could not function without the preservation of Hydra and that R2 was to aid in eliminating any threats. Therefore, if she thought an assignment was unnecessary, she would speak her mind, after all she was trained to be highly logical.

Natasha rolled her eyes, “that sounds like something Madame B would plant in your brain. But that’s why. They saw you as a threat. Same thing happened to me,” she paused and subtly looked at the mirror to her right, knowing the guys were listening from the other side. “They sent me on a supposedly easy mission – execution of a nobody who was alone. Quickly enough I realize my debriefing was littered with lies, most notably that this nobody was a trained assassin as well who had plenty of back up. Fortunately for me, he made a different judgement call and I’m alive today.”

“You’re saying they sent me on suicide mission.”

“That’s one way to look at it.”

Nicolette was resonating with what Natasha was saying; it did make sense and it was something she feared, but she had to play devil’s advocate to be certain. “Why not just eliminate me there?”

“They probably have bigger and better plans for the program and need their current workforce to maintain faith. If you are killed on a mission, not only is the threat eliminated but the Red Room calls it collateral damage and their supporters still follow blindly.”

Nicolette was just another expendable asset to the Red Room. She was used on nearly three dozen missions and then, as soon as she became a little too curious and opinionated, she was thrown away. Tears were welling up in Nicolette’s eyes, a foreign feeling as they were trained to subdue all emotion. She sat still in the metal chair as tears fell into her lap; never had she wanted to slip out of existence as she did right now. Everything she had learned in life had been a lie – from where she grew up to whom she grew up with, even what she lived for was a lie.

Natasha stood up and walked behind Nicolette and unlocked her cuffs. “I’m going to talk with the guys. When I know anything, one of us will let you know.”

***   ***   ***

Exiting the room, Natasha walked over to the opposite side of the double-sided mirror. “Do you all feel the same way about calling Fury now?”

Tony was the first to speak, hesitant but not quite as reserved a the other two. “Well, what else are we supposed to do with her? She’s a trained assassin that came to kill you with nearly 20 knives. Do you want to just keep her at the compound and say ‘oh, stay away from the knife block in the kitchen’ and live happily ever after?”

The Winter Soldier replied first, “if we call, they’re going to execute her. That’s what they planned on doing with me initially.”

“She is one of the deadliest assassins working for our enemy. Didn’t she take you down fairly easily?”

Natasha rolled her eyes at Stark’s remark, “yes, but she’s young. She’s never lived to know anything other than killing. I’ve been in her situation and Barton was given the orders from Fury himself to eliminate me. Look how far I’ve come. Why can’t we make the same decision Barton made?”

“I’m leaning toward Buck and Natasha on this one, Tony.” Tony rolled his eyes at Rogers’s change of allegiance as he continued. “I’m trying to read the terrain – both these two,” he pointed between Natasha and Bucky, “have been in compromised situations where a quick, rash decision would have ended their lives. They were both given a chance and with time we are all a team. I’m not saying I expect Nicolette is going to be the same. I am saying that I don’t want to make a quick decision to have it backfire when we executed an innocent person.”

“She’s killed dozens of people, I’d hardly call her innocent!”

“And we haven’t, Tony?”

Tony was silent as he realized the truth in Steve’s rationale. “Fine. A couple days. She needs to be watched 24/7, though. That’s now her room,” he pointed into the workout studio through the mirror, “and one of us will always be here,” he pointed to their position in reference to the mirror.

“I’ll go let her know,” Natasha said as she walked away from the group.


	4. There's Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding time with Natasha over none other than the horrors of the Red Room

As Nicolette completes her last round of her calisthenics based workout, Natasha unlocks the door and walks into the makeshift bedroom. “I see someone got an early start on the day.”

“There’re no luxuries like sleeping late in the Red Room,” Nicolette responded with a slight laugh as a failed means of keeping the topic light-hearted.

“Well how about we get you upstairs and washed up?”

Nicolette placed her folded up blankets on the pillow that Natasha brought down the night before so she could sleep under surveillance in the makeshift interrogation room. She followed Natasha upstairs into the living area where their violent greeting took place – Steve and Tony tending to the gaping hole in the wall from the hand to hand combat. The Winter Soldier was standing nearby in the kitchen with an expression of disapproval as the two women walked by. Natasha continued leading ahead of Nicolette past a small office to the right of the kitchen followed by a bedroom which the ladies entered.

“This is my room. I pretty much live at the compound these days.” Natasha walked into the bathroom, turned on the tub and poured some bubble bath, “the only way the guys were comfortable letting you come up to the main floor was if someone was with you the whole time. So, I’ll be sitting over here.” Natasha sat on the floor in the bathroom with her back turned to Nicolette attempting to give her some privacy.

Nicolette quickly disrobed and climbed into the hot suds-filled water. “Oh, they never allowed us to have any luxury like this.” Nicolette smiled as she submerged her body fully under the soapy topcoat and shut off the water.

“What, no bubble bath for the assassins in training?” Natasha joked as she leaned against the wall and opened a magazine.

“Definitely not. Even hot water or a tub – it was always cold showers.”

“Didn’t think they could make hell any worse than when I was there.” Natasha paused as she lowered the magazine, revealing a distraught expression. “Yesterday you said they initially modeled your training after mine then ‘changed it up.’ What did you mean?”

“Well, they realized that genuine memories were difficult to control – made the graduates have doubts about the program or their assignments when these supposedly subdued memories would resurface. So, to control these, they made two distinct changes. For starters, my class wasn’t comprised of orphans brought in; we were born into the Program – prior Widows that had aged out of their respective programs or failed a skills test were selected as our ‘carriers’ – they didn’t want to use the term mother. The second was to not only physically train us as the legendary Black Widow had been,” Nicolette paused and looked at Natasha who smirked and rolled her eyes at the joking exaggeration. “But, to train us mentally – ensure our allegiance could always be controlled. They did this through mental conditioning modeled after the Winter Soldier. Initially our bodies weren’t responding well to the repeated electrocution therapy so they added the venous injections, the super soldier serum, the Winters received as well. So, since we were a combination of the Black Widow and Winter Soldier programs, they dubbed us the Winter Widows. Creative, huh?”

Natasha looked over at Nicolette who was shaking her head with her eyes closed, still nearly fully submerged in the bubbles. Nat was struggling with the lack of limitations the Red Room Program evidently maintained. Trying not to dwell on her hatred filled memories towards her former allegiance, she continued with her questions.

“The first thing you said was that you remembered me from the Red Room. When did we meet?”

“Oh, no, not you. I remembered the Winter Soldier. He was involved in quite a bit of our training. After graduation, they told us he was frozen under Hydra’s watchful eye. But, now, I’m guessing he was probably here.”

Natasha took a deep breath, hesitant on how much of his past he would be comfortable with her divulging. “His name is James Barnes; he primarily goes by Bucky. He hasn’t been with us for long, not even a year. For many years before he was on the run, struggling to remember who he really was. He led some of my Widow training; however, it took a while for those memories to resurface. There’s a good chance he doesn’t even remember you – don’t take it personally.”

“That’s probably for the best.” Nicolette elaborated as she saw Nat’s confused expression, “he was our final physical test. If we could beat him hand-to-hand, then we proceed to the graduation ceremony. I was the last to fight in my class; when I entered the sparring room, I-” Nicolette tried to blink the images out of her line of vision. “I saw the other two girls’ lifeless bodies in the corner. That was the first time in the program I fought out of sheer fear, only passing the final after being stopped my Madame B, mid choke hold.” The memory felt so fresh for being so old. “She ordered me to back down as he was ‘too valuable.’ Apparently the other two Winter Widows weren’t.”

“You all were just kids.” Natasha was in disbelief, trying to mentally calculate just how young Nicolette’s program began.

“13. That was the benefit of having us born there.”

“How were you able to overpower him at that age?” Natasha’s disbelief morphed into outrage.

“They had already begun the mental conditioning and serum infusions – in the beginning, the fresher the injections were, the more potent they felt – the stronger we were. Overtime, the strength plateaued and became permanent.”

“They’ve gone too far.” Natasha was clearly disturbed although it was evident she was trying to conceal her emotions. “Your brainwashing, or ‘mental conditioning’ – is yours automatic or activated like the Winter Soldiers’?”

“At first it was just a means of ensuring mental and emotional control; but, they’ve been working on the activation-type conditioning during the past few years. The goal was to override any doubts I had about a given mission. They didn’t finish the conditioning with the activation words, though. Upon reciting them, I just go into this senseless rampage that I rarely recollect after I wake up hours after they supposedly say deactivation words.”

Nicolette was wringing out her hair, nearly finished with her bath as Natasha stood up. “At least they don’t have full control – it’ll take some time but, with help, you’ll be able to overcome it.” Natasha walked out of the bathroom prompting Nicolette to drain the tub and wrap a towel around herself. “Here,” Natasha placed a stack of clothes on the bathroom counter, “hopefully these fit.”

Nicolette began as Natasha was walking out of the bathroom and closing the door behind her, “does the Winter Soldier still react to his code words?”

“It’s taken a lot of time and effort,” Natasha gave a genuine smile, “but, no. His mind is his own again.”

Nicolette began changing into black athletic pants that were slightly too long on her short frame and a navy short sleeve v neck top. As she towel-dried her hair, she could hear Natasha speaking with the guys in the living area – it sounded as though she was just giving a summary of their conversation as Natasha didn’t give any details. Nicolette quickly braided her long dark hair and left the bathroom.


	5. Ice Breakers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all, the best way to win people over is with food, right?

Nicolette hesitantly walked into the kitchen seeing Nat and the three guys surrounding the island. Tony was the first to break the silence, “so I have to ask. How did you get into the compound – I have so many unique security features established to prevent anyone even getting too close.”

“You let me in.” Nicolette hesitantly smiled and continued as she observed the utterly confused look on everyone’s faces. “Remember that nice little lady that came to clean your house because Lolita, your housekeeper, was ill?”

“Uh, the short one walking around with cleaners rambling 90 miles a minute in some foreign language?”

“Mi trovavo a parlare italiano.”

The look of confusion on the faces of Tony, Steve, and Nat prompted Bucky to chime in, sounding unamused, “she said, ‘I was speaking Italian.’”

“But you were old,” Tony was still in disbelief, despite his extensive security measures, he himself let in Natasha’s potential assassin.

“I was wearing a photostatic veil and many layers of clothing – all of which can be found in a bag inside that air vent,” Nicolette pointed to the ceiling just above the kitchen island.

While Steve easily climbed onto the island to verify the whereabouts of the disguise, Natasha turned to Nic, “would you like some breakfast? We have eggs and fruit and…looks like that’s it.”

Nicolette did not understand why Natasha was being so nice, especially given the events of the prior day. “You’ve done more than enough, allow me.” Nicolette walked over to the open refrigerator next to Nat and snagged eggs and after enough perusing, snagged the ingredients to make pancakes.

The three guys had found the concealed bag and emptied its contents on the island. Tony was pointing to Nicolette while disapprovingly staring at Nat as if mentally inquiring about their newfound chef. Natasha returned a simple smile as Nicolette began whipping up pancake batter.

“To be honest, I’ve never made pancakes, but I remember reading the recipe somewhere and it seemed easy enough,” Nic turned around, choosing to completely ignore the guys’ dumbfounded expressions, and asked, “Ms. Romanoff, how many eggs would you like?”

“With that formality, you make me feel as ancient as these two,” Natasha began, pointing between Bucky and Steve. “Call me Nat. Two is fine,” she smiled as she began to saunter off.  
Steve, jokingly offended, responded, “biologically we’re about the same age.”

“You keep telling yourself that, senior citizen,” Natasha smirked, sprawled on the living room couch.

“Mr. Stark, how many for you?”

“Uh, two as well.” Tony sat down on a tall stool under the bar counter nearby and began clicking through the smart tablet responsible for controlling all features of the compound – security, lighting, air conditioning, intercom system, etc. “Don’t think this changes anything. I’m still keeping a very close eye on you.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, just how old are you two?” Nicolette hoped she wasn’t overstepping any boundaries but became genuinely curious after Nat’s comment. While she had never given much thought to their actual age, she realized they had to be rather antiquated given they fought in World War II.

Steve huffed at Nicolette’s blatant curiosity, “born in 1918. But, I’m not the oldest,” he rammed an elbow into Bucky’s shoulder.

“1917. I used to be the one dishing the age jokes – you being the butt of those jokes,” Bucky spoke in a low voice, barely audible for Nicolette, as he let a slight smile slip toward Steve. That was the first time Nicolette had seen the Winter Soldier project any positive emotion; he promptly regained a stern expression upon seeing Nicolette’s glimpse.

“Tony missed the opportunity to throw a centennial birthday party?” Nicolette couldn’t tell if Natasha was being genuine or asking for her own entertainment.

“It’ll be belated! We’ll have it here, we’ll invite everyone we know…but, hope you don’t mind if we pick music from this century. You know, so guests don’t fall asleep,” Tony jokingly continued rambling off various party planning ideas as he walked off to the nearby office. Nicolette thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere of the compound – it was almost as if they had become a family of misfits.

“Mr. Rogers, eggs?”

Warming up to their new inhabitant, Steve was successfully convincing himself to give Nicolette benefit of doubt, “six, please.”

“And Winter-or-Mr.-” Nicolette remembered his name; however, it just felt so odd referring to him as anything other than his Hydra-given codename. Before she could get anything else out, Bucky responded with a forced smile.

“Six also. Thanks.”

Nic felt a slight wave of relief as he interrupted her struggles; she felt most nervous with Bucky. Her anxiety somewhat stemmed from the fact he was the only one to directly witness her attempt on Natasha’s life. However, she was primarily concerned with how much he knew or recalled regarding her merciless Program graduation. Did Natasha tell him? Does he know that her training was modelled after his – infusions and mental conditioning? Nicolette tried to push these concerns to the side as she tried to convince herself that his initial rigid composure was slowly being replaced by a seemingly more temperate façade. Having plated everyone’s meals and dispersing them to their respective recipients, the group pulled up chairs at the island to eat.

“Thanks, this looks great,” Nat shoveled the first bite into her mouth as she paused, then continued. “Nic, did you use baking powder? These look a little flat.”

“Oh.” Nic held in a slight breath upon recognition of her error. “No.”

Nat gave a light laugh allowing Nic to relax, understanding her error was in no way a serious offense, “they taste delicious, just a little dense.”

“Remember during one of the rations back in the day, I used our one egg for that week to make pancakes – this is exactly how they turned out!” Steve recalled as he nudged Bucky prompting both men to erupt in laughter. “We ran out of milk, didn’t have baking powder – we made everything with just flour, butter, and eggs.”

Seeing Steve and Bucky laughing together created a warmth in Nicolette. She yearned for that type of relationship; however, she always assumed it was impossible given the lifestyle thrust upon her by the Program. Maybe it was possible after all; look at Bucky’s past – it quite reflects Nicolette’s.

Tony broke her internal monologue, responding to the duo’s cahoots, “I’ll never let you guys forget that you two are more than twice my age – makes you feel ancient, doesn’t it?”

“And three times mine,” Natasha added the quick jab prompting Steve to start shooting out defenses, all of which Nat brushed off.

“Hey, short stack, where are you putting all that food?”

Caught off guard and mid-bite, Nicolette looked up at Tony as if caught red-handed. She had easily put away six eggs and five pancakes already – rivaling with Steve and Bucky who were nearly twice her size.

“I have a high metabolism?” Steve and Natasha smiled and shook their heads at Nicolette’s failed mouth-full smile.


	6. Severing Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potential Triggers: Violence and Impromptu Surgery (Steve would make a decent doc)

“What do you mean you haven’t seen anything on Netflix?”

Surprised by Tony’s apparent shock, Nic responded still confused, “I don’t even know what a Netflix is.”

“FRIDAY,” Tony spoke to the open room, “pull up our most watched shows on Netflix.”

“Yes, boss,” an Irish female voice uttered from no apparent location as the television in front of the group clicked on.

Nicolette began turning around, looking for the additional person, “who was that?”

“She’s one of my most prized bits of technology – the compound’s interactive interface who can play my favorite shows, set my alarm clock, and is supposed to tell me when we have an intruder…but we see how well that worked.”

“At least I didn’t open the door to greet our intruder.”

“And she keeps me on my toes with that sass.”

“Any time, sir.” FRIDAY’s wit was rather entertaining to Nicolette while Steve, Bucky, and Nat were evidently accustomed to this lighthearted bickering.

“Oh, let’s watch the second one,” Nat pointed at the flat screen as she and Nic sat down on the couch. “You’ll love this, Nic. I spent all last week binge watching this series.”

“Yeah, we practically had to peel her off the couch for training,” Steve chimed in as he sat down on the other end of the couch, opposite of Natasha.

The monitor began to glitch just as the show began, completely shutting off then resuming as static. Tony picked up the smart tablet from breakfast, clicking the screen attempting to induce any result. “FRIDAY, talk to me.”

“Ov- override fo- forced.” The stuttering Irish voice created quite the alarm for the group. Before anyone could say anything, a deep voice clearly boomed over the intercom.

“Zhelaniye.”

“Oh, God. Tony!” Bucky, sitting in a chair perpendicular to the couch, had a death grip on the arm rests as he recognized the first in the series of activation words.

“Rzhavyy. Semnadtsat’.”

Stark was furiously working on the computer in the nearby office to resolve the problem while Natasha and Steve were in front of Bucky, restraining him in his chair.

“Buck,” Steve began, being interrupted by the brute Russian voice over the intercom.

“Rassvet. Pech’.”

“This is what we’ve trained for.”

“Devyat’. Dobroserdechnyy.”

“Remember, man, you are stronger than this.”

“Vozvrashcheviye na rodinu. Odin.”

“I’d be more concerned about her,” Bucky, bolt upright with eyes and mouth tight, tilted his head toward Nicolette who was struggling on the couch as Natasha and Steve turned around.

“Gruzovoy vagon.”

Nicolette froze in her curled-up position on the couch as the voice concluded its utterances. Slowly standing up with an empty expression and widened pupils, Nicolette looked over to Nat and Steve still huddled around Bucky with worried eyes. Before anyone could react, Nicolette snagged the edge of the marble coffee table and catapulted it straight into Natasha pinning her legs to the ground.

Steve bolted toward Nicolette, beginning an intense exchange of punches and yelled, “Tony!” Rogers only successfully landed one strike for every two Nicolette was dishing. “Buck, we could really use you right now. How are you feeling?” Bucky didn’t move an inch on the couch, worried he could not fully trust himself with the recited activation words.

“Shield!” Tony launched the disc toward Steve to which Nicolette responded by giving herself leverage via the couch, elevating her short frame. She wrapped one leg over Steve’s shoulder and neck, the other leg being used to stabilize herself against his back.

Having the current height advantage, Nicolette snagged the shield before Steve could. She grasped it well and dove forward, taking Steve down utilizing her body weight. Seeing Steve easily taken down, Bucky snapped out of his worry and lunged toward the other side of the couch to relieve his friend. Before Bucky could make it to Nicolette, Tony fired one of the two gauntlets that expand from the two metal bracelets he always wore. Nicolette immediately tilted the shield to ensure the repulsive beam was sent directly back to its origin, plummeting into Stark’s chest, catapulting him down the hall.

Bucky swept his leg through Nicolette’s legs, causing her to lose her footing. Regaining stability, Nicolette mercilessly thrusted the shield into Bucky’s face, drawing blood from his nose. Bucky took another swing with his leg to Nicolette’s torso which, while the shield blocked direct impact, his strength sent her tumbling over the back of the couch. Immediately taking advantage of his upper hand, Bucky lunges at Nicolette on the opposite side of the couch, tackling her to the ground.

Nearly unimpeded by the marble table as Steve attempts to lift the stone off her legs, Natasha shouted to Bucky and Nicolette as they landed on the floor behind the couch, “she’s under a trance!”

Her body folded around his shoulder, Nicolette caught a glimpse of a gun tucked in the back of Bucky’s jeans. In a fluid motion, she snags the gun, releases the safety and cocks it ready with such speed barely allowing Bucky to lift the shield that was resting at his feet. Three shots successively fired ricochet off the shield. Realizing her shots are not achieving the desired target, Nicolette whipped her right leg counter clockwise, catching the top of the shield and pulling downward with all her might, exposing Bucky.

“Buck, no!” Steve sees Nicolette take aim at his friend’s bloodied face.

“SPUTNIK!”

Steve collides with Bucky as they hear the gunshot.

Nicolette collapses to the floor, completely limp.

Tony, regaining his bearings as he walks from the hallway, and Natasha, barely standing despite her injured legs, look towards the couch for any signs of movement. Steve and Bucky stand up, slowly glancing around to see where the bullet landed. Natasha lets out a breath she was unaware she was holding, relieved Nicolette’s final shot was unsuccessful.

Tony, holding his chest where the rebounded repulsor struck, asked hesitantly, “is she…dead?”

Bucky leans over Nicolette’s still body, grasping her wrist to feel for a pulse. “No. Evidently the deactivation knocked her out,” he concluded, referencing his Russian utterance.

“You knew her deactivation? You couldn’t have done that sooner?” Natasha had walked over to Nicolette’s body, retrieved the nearby gun, removing the clip.

“Am I missing something?” Steve was utterly confused by Natasha and Bucky’s comments.

“It’d be you and me both,” Tony chimed in, also lost.

Bucky began with his assumptions, not entirely sure he understood what all happened. “I think it’s safe to say there’s more to her than the Red Room,” he looked accusatorily at Nat. “She was activated by my activation series. Desperation made me try the deactivation phrase for the other Winter Soldiers.”

“Hydra and the Red Room joined forces after we were gone,” Natasha pointed between herself and Bucky as she continued answering everyone’s unspoken questions. “As I told you guys, she has the same training as me. But, they wanted more control and strength, so they put her through the mental conditioning and serum injections you went through, Barnes. But, she said they didn’t finish her conditioning entirely so when she’s under the trance she goes on this maniacal rampage and upon reciting the deactivation word, she falls unconscious.”

“For how long?” Natasha shrugged her shoulders, not knowing the answer to Bucky’s question.

“Wait, there’s a deactivation word and you didn’t tell us?” Tony was still processing everything Bucky had stated before Natasha.

“I didn’t have the rebellion the other Winter Soldier’s did; so, I didn’t get a deactivation.” Buck paused, pointing to Nicolette’s still form as he continued, “they never did this, though. They would just snap out of the trance. Awake.”

“Somehow, we need to maintain control over her; so, when she wakes up, if she isn’t compliant, we don’t get demolished again.”

“I agree with Rogers. Safe to say she can hold her own even against the four of us. Tony, any new gadgets you want to test drive?” Natasha looked to Tony, hopeful he had something in his arsenal that would aid in restricting further collateral damage by Nicolette.

“Barnes. What do you think about your vibranium chair?” Tony was referring to a chair that was constructed with vibranium given to them by T’Challa to aid in the reversal of Bucky’s Hydra induced brainwashing. It easily contained the activated Winter Soldier against a backboard that lay at a 45-degree angle by shackling his ankles and wrists against the metal board, with three metal restrains that wrapped just above his knees, around his hips, and over his chest from above his shoulders.

“That’s the only guarantee we have,” Barnes agreed with Tony while grabbing a towel from the kitchen to combat his still bleeding nose.

“Someone come get me when she wakes – I’ll be right here,” Natasha stumbled to the couch, evidently severely pained by the marble table.

“Sure you’ll be okay?” Steve asked as he easily picked up Nicolette’s still body.

“Yeah, I’ve handled a lot more than a few bumps and bruises,” Nat gave a confident smile as she readjusted her pillow.

The guys walked into the underground training room that had been designated as Bucky’s rehabilitation room – only fit with the vibranium chair and a small cocktail table on wheels. The room itself was a decent size, designed to accommodate sparring practice with black mats covering the entirety of the floor and halfway up all walls excluding the bullet-proof glass door. Having adjusted the restraints to accommodate Nicolette’s substantially smaller frame, she was firmly secured as Tony, Steve, and Bucky strategized.

“So, I think it’s safe to say we should call Fury now,” Tony began.

“I think we have a few answers we need from you first,” Steve spoke to Tony in a rather accusatory manner. “Like how was the intercom overridden? Thank God Buck’s reconditioning was complete otherwise half of us would be dead.” Steve put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, adding, “no offense.”

“It’s true,” Bucky shrugged his shoulders. “Also, who the hell knew those activation words and why did they do it?”

“When Nicolette here waltzed right into our compound, I decided we needed an update to the security software across our campus. This update requires a system-wide reboot which takes about an hour since only one aspect is shut down at any given time as a means of maintaining some security.” Seeing Steve and Bucky’s confused faces, Tony simplified. “For example, the intercom was probably down for a minute max. As soon as I heard the Russian, I got FRIDAY to run diagnostics and she found that we were hacked. Either, they – whoever _they_ are – has some insane luck on their side or they managed to time their hack with such precision to align with the scheduled downtime.”

The three were interrupted by Nicolette’s subtle movements, slowly blinking her eyes as if waking from a deep slumber. Unable to move her body, her eyes bolted open and scanned the room, full of horror, “what happened?”

Initially, the three men stood there, surprised by her apparent lack of recollection. Tony pulled out his phone from a back pocket, thumbing through then double tapping the screen to form a projection.

“This is the security footage from the living room.” Tony pressed play while the three watched Nicolette’s reaction to witnessing her rampage.

Upon the conclusion of the video feed, Nicolette had so many emotions ranging from shame, anger and confusion. “How did this happen?”

“There was a lag in the intercom’s security allowing a breech – it’s been resolved,” Tony summarized.

“Why did the voice say the deactivation code?” Nicolette assumed it was the voice that resulted in her loss of consciousness; hence, she was surprised by Bucky’s answer.

“I said it. It was the same code as the other Winter Soldiers.”

“Thank you,” Nicolette mumbled as her head sunk as low as possible in the restrictive seat.

“I’ll go get Nat-” Steve began walking out of the training room as Nicolette interrupted.

“No. Just do it now.”

All men evidently confused, Steve inquired, “do what?”

“Kill me.”

“What?” Bucky was the first to respond, shocked by her statement.

“I evidently can’t be controlled, even when I’m away from _them_.”

“That brings up a good point,” Tony began immediately interrupted by Bucky.

“You can’t be serious,” Bucky abrasively whispered back, assuming Tony was referring to the elimination of Nicolette solely due to her actions while under the hypnotic state.

Realizing Bucky’s insinuation, Tony elaborated, “no, I mean how did they know where she was and let alone even still alive.”

“Maybe they hacked into more than the intercom, like the living room camera?”

Gauging the potential validity of Steve’s concern, Tony continued, “the only evidence of hacking that FRIDAY found was within the intercom – nowhere else, we looked.” The curiosity of the three men grew to worry as the compound’s breach may not be fully contained.

“Shit.” Nicolette let out a heavy sigh as she continued, “they implanted a tracking device that can also detect vitals in my abdomen.” The three looked over to Nic in disbelief as she asked, surprisingly lightheartedly, “any volunteers for removing it?”

“Even if we do remove it, given its sensitive enough to your monitor vitals, they’ll know you removed it. And _that’s_ not suspicious,” Tony concluded with a sarcastic tone.

“Can’t you remotely tap into it and fool it into thinking I’ve died?” Nicolette was getting rather excited about the possibility of being disconnected from the Program for good. “Please.”

Accepting the challenge posed to him by Nicolette, Tony walked out of the training room and came back less than a minute later from the garage a couple doors down with all sorts of equipment. “Okay, where is it?”

“Just above my right hip.”

Nicolette watched as Tony hovered some sort of sensor above her hip, slowly shifting its location until a faint beep was heard. He set the sensor down on the small table near the foot of the vibranium chair and began furiously clicking the tablet.

“Is it…working?” Steve hesitantly asked.

“It’s encrypted, but not very well. I’m in. Now to fool it into thinking you’re flatlining.”

Steve continued, “if you can remotely disable it, do we have to remove it entirely?”

“Maybe not. Well,” Tony paused and gave the tablet a contemplative look, “it appears to be sending a low energy transmission continuously despite having overridden the vitals data. I think that as long as the device has power, it has the ability to remotely send coordinates.”

“So, it needs to come out?” Nicolette inquired, ensuring she followed his train of thought.

“Correct,” Tony succinctly replied. “FRIDAY, can you page for Dr. Cho?”

“She is currently on week three of her two-month vacation that you asked me to approve.”

“Damn,” was all Tony could muster.

“So, how exactly are we removing this thing?” Steve seemed both genuinely curious and concerned regarding the actual extraction of the transmitter.

“I’ll cut it out,” Nicolette readily offered, eager to sever her ties with the Program.

“Yeah, uh, not sure if I trust you with anything sharp yet, especially since we’ll have to release one arm from your restraints to access its location.” Tony clicked a button on the side of the vibranium chair then resorted back to his tablet as he continued, “I’ll keep an eye on her vitals while someone else – anyone else – cuts.” The button Tony pressed prompted the real-time transmission of Nicolette’s vitals, which were read by electrodes within the metal chest restraint of the chair, to Tony’s tablet.

“You got it.” Bucky gave Steve a reassuring clap on the back as he took a step away from the chair.

“Thanks,” Steve’s sarcasm was more than evident. “Tony, got some surgical kit lying around the compound?”

“Actually, yes.” Tony once again walked out of the room to retrieve the supplies.

“You sure about this?” Nicolette inquired as Steve didn’t appear overly confident.

“If it needs to be done, I guess. The real question is, are you?”

“Definitely. One step closer to freedom,” Nicolette gave Steve a nervous smile then shifted her gaze to Bucky who looked rather uncomfortable. “How long did it take for you to overcome your activation words?”

“We started seven months ago,” Bucky succinctly replied. Nicolette wasn’t sure if he was usually this reserved or if it was her presence.

“Here we go,” Tony set the kit down on the small table, opening the box to reveal a variety of scalpels, forceps, dressings, and pre-measured medications. “Let’s start with something to numb it...” he was picking up and reading various syringes as Nicolette interrupted.

“Those won’t work on me – I metabolize most drugs too fast for them to even work or last long at all. Just do it fast.” Steve’s eyes widened at Nicolette’s request for no medications as Bucky took a couple steps closer to the door.

“Alrighty then.” Tony shrugged his shoulders and clicked the tablet once, resulting in the release of Nicolette’s right wrist. “Barnes, you’ll need to hold her arm so she doesn’t nail Rogers.” Bucky looked rather uncomfortable as he walked closer to the chair.

“I won’t hurt anyone,” Nicolette spat at Tony, raising her shirt just above the planned incision site. “I promise no more bloody noses,” she added, giving an apologetic and shameful glance towards Bucky.

Tony pointed to Steve, “looks like he’s going to have to dig two inches into your abdomen.” Tony passed gloves and an antiseptic wipe to Steve. “As far as you flailing your arm goes – we’re going to hope for the best but prepare for the worst.”

Nicolette placed her arm above her head on the vibranium backboard as she took a nervous breath. Bucky placed his prosthetic hand over her elbow, not applying any additional pressure yet. Tony pointed to a location on her abdomen as Steve took a deep breath and applied gently pressure to the scalpel against her skin. In response to the incision, Nicolette squeezed her eyes shut, locked her jaw, and started curling her toes.

“FRIDAY, you watching this?”

“Yes, sir,” the automated Irish voice chimed in immediately.

“Now would be a great time to pull out that anatomical information of yours.”

“Analyzing wound.” There was a pause as she continued, “it appears as though Rogers has not made it to the muscular layer yet.”

“What she’s some sort of doctor, now?” Nicolette grunted out through gritted teeth.

“No; but, if anyone else feels more experienced in this field, be my guest at taking over,” Tony quickly responded as Steve took another deep breath, holding it as he traced the incision once more with more pressure.

Nicolette let out a loud groan, inadvertently whipping her arm forward, which Bucky caught, immobilizing it back against the backboard. Bucky was evidently surprised at the strength Nicolette could conjure prompting him to place his prosthetic hand around her wrist and his right hand over her upper arm.

“Rogers, you have made it to the muscular layer. Now, with the forceps, reach into her abdominal cavity, through the abdominal muscles, and grasp the disc shaped transmitter.” FRIDAY continued as Steve exchanged the scalpel for the forceps, “you’ll need to pull slowly as to ensure intestines are not entangled with the device.”

“My what’s entangled where?” Nicolette rhetorically asked, horrified. She glanced toward Bucky who, while not making eye contact, appeared to be a mix of sympathetic pain.

“Try and take a deep breath,” Tony chimed in, occasionally looking at Steve’s progress. “Your vitals are getting kind of high.”

“You don’t say,” Nicolette sarcastically grunted back, once again through gritted teeth as the forceps entered her abdomen.

Bucky’s gaze snapped toward Nicolette’s face upon hearing her painful grunt. Sweat was beginning to form around her hairline as an involuntary response to the pain.

Seeing Buck and Nicolette making every effort to not watch, Tony jokingly prodded while genuinely surprised. “Come on, you two are assassins. You kill people for a living and can’t even look at this?”

“Former assassin – not doing that any-” Nicolette was interrupted by her own loud yell due to the pain. Bucky gripped her arm even more, partially due to her increased movement, partially due to his involuntary reaction to her vocalization.

“Rogers, you’ve reached the device. Clamp down then slowly pull.”

Bucky was watching Nicolette intently, ensuring not one movement could slip past his watch. Steve attempted to clamp down on the transmitter, barely grasping the device then accidentally let it slip. The newfound pressure on her abdomen caused one tear to trickle down Nicolette’s face as she lay in silence. Bucky helplessly stared. Steve tried once more to retrieve the device, almost to the incision; however, the device wasn’t aligned with the incision well thus slipping again. In response to the gut wrenching movement, she gasped and thrust her hand open, revealing prominent indentations from her fingernails within her sweaty palm, nearly breaking through the skin.

Steve shook his head, feeling defeated, “I’m going to have to twist it a little.”

Unable to be an idle bystander, Bucky hesitantly slid his left hand from her wrist to her hand, intertwining his fingers within hers. Surprised but not daring to second guess the man’s sympathetic gesture, she gripped down on his metal hand fiercely as Steve began slowly pulling the transmitter. With the necessary 90-degree twist for alignment, the device squeezed through the incision.

“You need to control your heart rate, it’s dangerously high,” Tony instructed Nicolette.

Finally granted some relief with the transmitter’s removal, Nicolette slowed her breathing, trying to mimic Bucky’s own deep breaths next to her. After a few regulated respirations, Tony gave her affirmation of her successfully lowering her heart rate.

“How are we sealing this up?” Steve inquired.

FRIDAY immediately responded, “there is a surgical stapler within the medical kit Stark provided.”

Tony picked up and examined the stapler, pulling the trigger launching a staple toward the door.

“Give me that,” Steve took the device and rolled his eyes at Tony’s inappropriate curiosity. “Ready?”

Nicolette, eyes closed and hand firmly grasping Bucky’s, let out a less than reassuring, “m-hm.”

With a rapid application of pressure and pull of the trigger the first staple was imbedded into her skin prompting a slight grunt from Nicolette. Then the second and third, both following suit. Before Steve could place the fourth and final staple, Natasha barged through the door.

“When was someone going to tell me-” Natasha interrupted herself as soon as she saw the open wound, “what the hell are you guys doing to her?”

“Removed the tracking beacon,” Bucky gave a succinct response so they could finish.

Steve placed the last staple and began cleaning off the excess blood around the wound as Tony gave Natasha a more thorough run down of the recent events. Steve completed the impromptu procedure by adhering a bandage over the staples to limit the chance of infection.

“Well, I’m glad everyone is done playing doctor because Thor, Vision, and Wanda are back and we have a little bit of explaining to do.”

Nicolette slowly let go of Bucky’s hand letting out a faint, “thank you.” She pulled the edge of her shirt back to its original place and let her head fall back onto the vibranium backboard with her eyes closed as she was still exhausted from the trance.

“No problem,” Bucky responded with a slight smile as he turned to Natasha and the other two guys to determine a plan of action.

Steve looked at Tony with an accusatory stare, “next time, you do the cutting; anyone can click a few buttons on that thing,” he pointed to the tablet in Tony’s hands.

“I think your work was flawless, Dr. Rogers,” Stark’s sarcasm was accommodated with his signature cocky smile.

“Boys, enough,” Natasha shook her head at their childish banter.

“Well, we need to let her rest for starters,” Steve began, quickly followed by Bucky.

“Not on _that_ ,” Bucky gestured to the vibranium chair which was designed without any regards for comfort.

“She can stay in my room,” Natasha nonchalantly shrugged. “The more pressing matter is breaking the news of our new roommate to Thor, Vision, and Wanda. Tony, would you be kind enough to join me for those honors?” He reluctantly gave into Natasha’s request; after all, he was the one who let her in the front door.

“Stark, before we release these restraints, are you certain we won’t have another intercom incident?”

Almost offended Steve would ask such a question, Tony replied in a matter-of-fact manner, “of course. After recent events, I can reassure you our security has never been better.”  
“Okay then, here goes nothing.” Natasha walked out of the small training room, followed by Tony.

“I need to go wash up,” Steve held up his hands as if they were contaminated. He paused at the door and gestured to Nicolette who appeared to have fallen asleep, quietly asking Bucky, “you okay with everything?”

“Yeah, as you said, the training prepared me for overcoming the activation words given that day came.”

“I don’t mean that; I saw how seeing her in pain made you feel. Are you okay?”

Bucky took a deep breath, not realizing his emotions had been externalized. “Yeah, just difficult to see all of that,” he paused, looking at Nicolette, peacefully asleep, “the trance, the pain, that lack of self-control – happen to someone else. Especially when I know what it feels like. And not having a choice.”

“She may not have had an initial choice; but, at least we’re all here to guide her to make that choice now.”

Bucky looked at Steve, let out a forced smile and simply nodded his head as Steve exited the room. Walking over to the vibranium chair, Bucky pressed a button on the tablet that Stark left in the room which released the restraints with a loud metallic click. The sound aroused Nicolette who set one unsteady foot on the floor next to the chair and began to wobble substantially. Bucky took a quick step in her direction in response to the lack of stability to which Nicolette mumbled nearly inaudibly.

“I can walk.”

Given her gait was weak, Bucky leaned over and slipped her left arm over his shoulder.

“Thanks,” Nicolette drearily responded realizing that, through the dull pain and utter exhaustion, she could probably use the assistance. The floor was spinning as she took another failed step. All the energy within her body was being preserved for the recuperation of her brain and abdomen; leaving nothing left for the simple task of walking.

Bucky glanced toward Nicolette as her head swiveled his way and saw her eyes begin to close. Realizing stairs would be impossible in her condition, he leaned over, put his prosthetic arm under her legs, scooped her up and exited the training room with ease.

“You’re like 100,” Nicolette nearly incoherently mumbled, “really should watch your back.” The smile from her own half-asleep joke faded as her head fell onto his shoulder as her entire body went limp.

“Something tells me she’s never going to let the age thing go, like Nat,” Steve joined them in the hall, having finished cleaning up.

“Probably right.” A small but genuine smile came across Bucky’s face as they walked upstairs. The two passed the living room, where Tony and Natasha were catching up the new arrivals, and laid Nicolette down on Nat’s bed. Nat hurried in, shooing the guys out and covered up Nicolette before closing the door to rejoin the group.

***   ***   ***

“I feel like since a lot of us were given a chance, it would be unfair to not give her the same,” Wanda began, referring to herself, Natasha, and Bucky.

Steve sat in one of the barstools at the island, next to Thor and Wanda. Bucky wet the bloodied towel that was draped over his shoulder to finish cleaning the mess on his face.

“But we need some ground rules. Like she doesn’t get to go on a mission any time soon – not until we’re all comfortable. And, someone always needs to keep an eye on her; I’m not sure how much I trust her, yet.”

Natasha was the first to respond to Tony’s blatant rules, “she doesn’t need a babysitter, Tony. But if she’s staying, she does need her own room.”

“There are the three vacant rooms upstairs,” Steve suggested, referring to the rooms just opposite of Wanda and Vision’s rooms.

“Those are too remote; we need to keep a closer eye on her.” Stark adamantly stated.

Natasha rolled her eyes, knowing that while they did need to keep tabs on their new inhabitant, Tony was being rather stubborn. “Fine. Move your office down the south hall.” She pointed to the first room in the east hallway off the living area. “She can have that room – right in the midst of everything,” Nat sarcastically concluded.

Tony wasn’t amused by Natasha’s attitude; but, he did agree with the more localized placement. “Ok, deal.” He started making his way to his office, stating in a depressed manner, “I’ll start moving my-”

“Mr. Stark,” the Irish voice rang out over the intercom, “apologies for the interruption; but, I believe I have a lead on the intercom hacking.”

“In that case,” Tony chirped up, now walking backwards towards his office, speaking to the group, “I’m going to thoroughly vet this lead and when I have something worthwhile, I’ll come find everyone.”

Between the group’s mixed responses of affirmation and slight smiles at Tony’s giddiness, there was a loud, jovial male’s voice emitted through the living area.

“I have arrived!” Sam Wilson boomed as he walked into the kitchen, seeing everyone still wrapped around the island as if mid-meeting. “Did I interrupt something?”

Not wanting to be the person to break the news again, Natasha hastily snagged her shoes and bag and made her way towards the door. “On that note, I’m going furniture shopping.”

Excited about the change of pace from the duties of the compound, Wanda followed suit, “and you’ll have company, Nat. Bye, guys.”

As the ladies exited the compound, Bucky rummaged through the refrigerator and Vision made way to the library. Despite the droid’s unlimited access to the internet, most of his time was spent submersed in books as, he stated, it made him feel ‘more human.’

“So, I walk in and everyone leaves?” Sam’s question was still unanswered. “What’s up?”

Steve took a deep breath and began recapping the recent events as Bucky passed random snack foods to Thor who set his hammer in the middle of the island as the two gladly indulged in an early dinner.

Having concluded the update and dinner, Sam simply stared between Steve, Thor, and Bucky, pausing when his gaze fell on Buck. Inquiring about the security footage Sam saw, “do you always walk around with a gun in the back of your pants?”

“Sam, out of everything I just told you, that’s your question?” Steve shook his head, half in disbelief, half in amusement at his friend’s blatant curiosity.

Bucky responded, “I wasn’t on board at all with having her here – didn’t trust her. But, no. I don’t make it a habit.”

“Do you trust her now?” Thor spoke up for the first time, still gauging his comfort level with the situation.

Bucky paused, fully knowing the honest answer but still rationalizing it himself. “I don’t know.”

“Steve,” Sam inquired, “you?”

“Not entirely. But, did anyone not have initial reservations about him?” Steve gestured towards Bucky. Thor and Sam knew he was right about the hesitations with granting the Winter Soldier access to the Avengers and their compound despite his violent history. But, before anyone could refute Steve’s logic, they heard a door close softly from the east hallway shortly followed by Nicolette who had woken up.


	7. Secret Assassins' Club

Taking a deep breath, unsure about how new people would greet her, Nicolette extended her arm towards Sam then Thor, “hi, I’m Nicolette. You can call me Nic.” Both men hesitantly shook her hand, Sam exhibiting higher levels of uncertainty than Thor.

“Oh!” Sam jumped at Nic’s exclamation. “Dinner time,” Nicolette concluded in response to seeing the spread of food still on the island from Bucky and Thor’s snacking.

Steve laughed at Sam’s alarmed response as he reached over and began munching as well. “Sam, if you want any dinner, I’d snag it now. She puts our portions to shame.”

“I wasn’t kidding I have a high metabolism,” Nicolette began defending, “at least everyone understands why now.” She paused, taking another bite and pointing between Thor and Sam, “they caught up?”

“Yeah, we saw the little firecracker in action,” Sam, without hesitation spat out referring to the security footage of the previous fights. “Are you just as strong when you’re not under the trance.”

“He has no filter,” Steve interjected, warning Nic of Sam’s debatably inappropriate questions.

Nicolette gave a light laugh as she responded to Steve, “no problem.” She took a bite and turned to Sam to answer his question, “honestly, I don’t know – I never remember what I do when I’m under that trance.” She turned to Bucky on her right, “you’re one of a few people to fight me under and not under, what do you think?”

“Well, you have no reservations when you’re under,” he said sarcastically pointing to his nose. “Whereas that first night, it was almost…too easy,” Bucky concluded, almost as if asking a question.

“I’m sorry about your nose. I didn’t break it, right?” Nicolette let out a sigh of relief when Bucky denied any fracture as she continued, “But, as far as the first night, I guess I kind of did let you win.” Nicolette’s explanation was cut short by loud laughter.

Steve, Bucky, and Nic all stared, confused, at Sam who promptly explained his evidently inappropriate laughter, “you mean to tell me the only way you can beat this half pint is if she lets you?”

“Next time we have training, you spar with her and _then_ we’ll talk,” Bucky was quick in his defense as Steve just smiled and shook his head at the exchange.

With peak curiosity, Steve added, “why did you supposedly let us win?”

Nic turned to Buck; “remember I said I recognized you from the Red Room?”

Still not understanding how that answered the question, Buck questioned, “yeah. Nat, right?”

“No, you.” Nicolette had assumed Nat told him about her recollection of his presence at her graduation; so, she proceeded slowly in the hopes that something would click. “From my graduation…fighting you was our final physical exam.” Bucky’s blank expression prompted Nic to blatantly ask, “do you remember any of that?”

“No…” Bucky began to look very uneasy.

“They said you were under the mental conditioning, the trance.” Nicolette assumed that may have been why he didn’t recall the event.

Steve, with a calculated look on his face jumped in, “that had to be a while ago; he’s been on his own, away from the program for a while now.”

“It was,” Nic confirmed, “14 years ago.”

Sam was the first to speak in regards to the young age Nic must have been, “how old were you at graduation?”

“Thirteen.”

Sam, Steve, Thor, and especially Bucky became wide-eyed in shock of the terribly young age at which she was matched against the Winter Soldier. Bucky was the first to break the silence, “was it just you?”

“No.” Nicolette paused, hesitant about where the conversation was leading to, but continued anyway. “You fought my whole class.”

Hopeful, but not making eye contact as his questions continued, Bucky asked, “did everyone…pass?”

Nicolette was becoming very nervous at how he would react upon being told he killed her classmates, barely even teenagers. “No.”

Taking a deep breath, he continued, still looking down, “what did I do?”

Opening her mouth to respond, but unable to utter the truth, Nicolette looks toward Steve who immediately understands. Before either of them could deliver any comfort, Bucky hurriedly walks out of the kitchen and down the stairs. Nicolette, immediately regretting what she said barely mumbled out, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, it’s okay. He’s slowly remembered just about everything else.” Steve paused, trying to take in the newfound information. “But, from what he’s shared with me, your classmates were probably the youngest.”

“So, he,” Thor paused, struggling to find an appropriate word, “eliminated them?”

Nicolette simply nodded.

“How did they even have a chance? Kids being put up against not only a full-grown man but an assassin with a record number of hits,” Sam shook his head in disbelief.

“The Program was _that_ confident in our training.” Nicolette sighed, “but, now I know that it wasn’t him. Not really.” She sat there, everyone silent, as she offered, “I’ll go talk to him.”

“Nic, there’s nothing you can say to make it better; I’ve tried it all.” Steve wanted to seem hopeful; but, he was simply being realistic.

“I know.” Nicolette continued to walk towards the stairs, despite the evident confusion on the guys’ faces.

***   ***   ***

Nicolette found Bucky in a training room, throwing punches and kicks at a punching bag in a fit of rage. She wanted to walk in, but didn’t know what to say, let alone what to call him. After all, she had only ever called him the Winter Soldier; but, now was not the time for that title. However, referring to him as Bucky didn’t feel right; almost as if the term of endearment was reserved for friends. Knowing she could stand there thinking all day, without further hesitation, Nicolette quickly opened the door and walked inside.

Hearing the door open, Bucky paused, putting his hands on either side of the punching bag and resting his forehead on the bag. “Steve, we’ve talked about this. There’s nothing you can say or do – their blood is on my hands.”

“James,” Nicolette began softly, prompting Bucky to turn around upon hearing a voice he wasn’t anticipating. “I know there is nothing I can say to make it right, or take away that guilt. I know that no matter what people say, you know it was your hands that took those lives.” Nicolette took a few steps in his direction, now close enough to see his knuckles and bare feet raw from hitting the bag and his chest rise and fall with each labored breath. “I know because I’ve been there. So, for as much as it may or may not count, just please know that I fully understand it wasn’t you – it was them – the people who put our brains in that blender.” Nicolette felt a couple tears form in her eyes, but refused to let them fall.

Bucky simply nodded as he walked over to the closest wall and sunk down until he was sitting on the floor with one leg outstretched and the other buckled up. “Thank you,” he faintly let out.

Nicolette smiled slightly, delicately sitting down three feet to his left, back against the wall, both legs bent with feet flat against the floor.

The two sat in silence for a while; Bucky eventually broke the silence. “It’s been a while since anyone’s called me James,” he said with a slight smile.

“Figured I shouldn’t keep calling you Winter Soldier,” Nicolette joked back, looking to her right and seeing him smile and shake his head. “Is that alright if I call you James?”

He tilted his head to the left, making eye contact with her as he succinctly replied, “yes.”

The training room door opened, prompting both Bucky and Nic to glance over as Natasha walked in, joking, “we calling this the secret assassins’ hangout or something?” She walked over to Nic’s left side and slouched down, sitting on the floor against the wall as she continued, “Wanda and I are all done shopping.”

Not following Natasha’s comment that sounded as if she should understand, Nicolette inquired, “for what?”

Nat giddily responded to her question, “your room.” Seeing as Nicolette was still not following, Natasha elaborated, “Tony moved his office and we’re redoing the whole room – all new furniture for you. Also, Wanda and I got you some new clothes. We had no idea what your preferences are so we got a variety.”

“Guys,” Nicolette felt speechless. Not only had she never had her own room; but, she never had a personalized wardrobe – only various items the Program funded which normally included a variety of black gear for fighting or mission work. “That means a lot; thank you.” She smiled to Natasha then to Bucky who had a serious expression.

“This comes with contingencies.”

“Okay…” Nicolette and Natasha were taken aback by his abrupt demeanor.

“No more trying to kill us. And no more forgetting the baking powder when you make pancakes for the house.” The two ladies erupted into laughter; Nicolette found it euphoric, a break from the dismal and bleak atmosphere to which she was accustomed. Hearing Buck, the former Winter Soldier make a joke and give a genuine smile was something Nic would have to learn to get used to given the concept was so foreign.

“It’s been a hell of a day. Barnes,” Natasha leaned forward to glance around Nic to make eye contact with Bucky as she continued, “can you help the guys get the furniture moved in so we all can get some much needed sleep?”

“Yes ma’am,” he responded to her delegation, hopping up and exiting the training room.

The two ladies also stood up from their crouched positions on the floor as Nat somberly spoke, “Steve told me that he found out. I was expecting him to be in one of his fits of rage when I came down here. How’s he holding up?”

Pausing on their way to the door, Nicolette began, “he took it pretty hard. But, I think it helps having someone here who’s gone through the same exact thing. Many times.” Nicolette paused, referring to her own personal experiences, “may sound odd; but in a way, I know it helps me.”

“It’s not too common for him to joke around like that. It’s nice. I think you could both help each other a lot,” Natasha ended with a smile.

“We’ll see. That was the first time he’s remotely opened up. I’m definitely still gaining his trust.” Nicolette shrugged her shoulders as Natasha smiled and placed her hand on Nic’s shoulder as they both began to walk upstairs.

***   ***   ***

Natasha abruptly woke up to screaming from outside her door. Grabbing her gun from her nightstand drawer and exiting her room slowly, there was a faint reflection from the down the hall in the direction of the living room.

“Nat, it’s me.” Bucky slowly took a step forward, arms held up with his palms forward. Natasha, realizing the reflection she saw was from the light hitting his cybernetic arm, lowered her gun slightly.

“You heard that, too, right?”

Bucky simply nodded to her whisper as both stood in the silent hallway, attempting to figure out what they had heard. Suddenly they both heard faint whisper coming from Nicolette’s room; listening more intently, they realized it in fact Nic who was speaking Russian.

“No! Don’t make me,” Nic muttered in choppy Russian.

Hearing the urgency, Nat and Bucky barged into Nic’s room and saw her lying in bed, writhing in her sheets, mumbling in her sleep. The two relaxed, realizing that their initial concerns of an intruder were unfounded.

Bucky immediately recognized Nic’s wailing from his own battle, “the nightmares.” His heart sank seeing her undergo the same tremors he had lived with for so many years.

“I’ll take it from here; you get some rest,” Natasha nodded to Bucky, signaling him she was in control.

Natasha placed her gun on Nic’s bedside table, sat on the edge of the bed, and tried to wake her. With a rather violent thrashing, Nicolette jolted awake, still rambling indistinguishable Russian utterances.

“Nic, it’s me!” Natasha firmly gripped her shoulders which were shaking as she sat up. “You were having a nightmare, you’re at the compound. You okay?” Nicolette was still blinking her eyes in an evident attempt to gather her unfamiliar surroundings. Natasha, seeing her confusion, continued, “you with me?”

“Yeah,” Nicolette slowly began to calm down, “I’m good, now.” She sunk her face into her palms, hanging her head down. “Do you ever stop seeing yourself killing them?”

“Yes,” Natasha replied, “with time, you will, too.”

Nicolette took a deep breath and shifted so she could lean against the headboard. Natasha flicked on the lamp, climbed under the covers and sat next to Nic in a similar fashion with her back against the right side of the headboard as she continued.

“I thought I was never going to get over those nightmares. And I wasn’t going to get past them until I started talking about them.” Natasha paused and looked to her left at Nic, “I’m not saying you need to talk about it all now; but, know that when you want to, I’m here.”

“I appreciate it.” Nicolette didn’t want to talk about any of the past missions, especially the ones she relived night after night. She also wasn’t sure if Natasha would fully understand given that not only were her nightmares based upon her victims, but they were based upon her lack of self-control thanks to the mental conditioning.

Purposefully changing the conversation, Natasha looked around Nic’s room, “so, do you like it?”

A soft smile broke across Nic’s face in response to Natasha’s optimism. “Yes, I really do. You overdid yourself with the décor, though. You know the monotony of the Program I’m used to.”

“I was adamant about all the white,” Natasha gestured toward the white bedspread and the off-white armchair in the corner next to the grey dresser. “And Wanda was adamant about all the accent décor,” she nodded to the gold-inlaid mirror near the door and the various matching knick knacks scattered amongst the room. “We did that on purpose – to be as far _from_ that Program you’re so used to.”

“Mission accomplished,” Nic laughed back in response as she became more somber. “I know it’ll take a while for everyone to warm up to me, but I just can’t help but think there are a few who have some serious doubts about my allegiance.”

“There are.” Natasha began, brutally honest. “But, we all come around with time.” She flashed a warm smile in Nic’s direction.

“I never thought this lifestyle possible,” Nic had a smile form across her face, thinking about the compound.

“What? A bunch of misfits all trying to keep each other sane?”

Nicolette laughed at Nat’s description. “I’m just not deserving of any of this.”

“If we’re just looking at our pasts, are any of us truly deserving?”

“Steve and Vision.”

“Touché – looks like the rest of us need to move out.”

The two laughed and talked late into the night about seemingly insignificant things. But, the lengthy heartfelt discussions made Nic feel at peace, feel at _home_.


	8. If She Be Worthy

Nicolette awakes to nearby laughter; lifting her head, she realized the laughter was coming from the kitchen. Nic sat up and stretched as her neck was sore, probably from falling asleep in a precarious position after talking with Natasha late into the night. Assuming Natasha must have left after soon after she fell into a slumber, Nic slipped out from her covers, went to the bathroom and then made her way to join the group.

Walking into the kitchen, she first saw Nat who was sitting at a barstool laughing and upon seeing Nic walk in, placed her finger over her mouth requesting a discrete entrance. Nic paused as she heard two strained voices belt out an indistinguishable song substantially out of vocal range. She smiled, unable to identify the singers, and subtly advanced toward Nat until she could see with whom the vocal straining belonged. Steve, with a wire whisk, and Bucky, wielding a spatula, were belting out into their respective kitchen utensils for their small audience of Nat, Sam, and Thor. Upon the conclusion of the duet, the audience, now including Nic, applauded while erupting in laughter.

“Hope we didn’t wake you,” Steve chimed in, seeing Nic nearing the island. Bucky’s smile nearly disappeared entirely upon seeing their audience had gained a member.

“After the show you two gave, no complaints here!”

“Whoa, don’t be burning my hotcakes,” Sam pointed to the smoking pan on the stove prompting Bucky to spin around, foregoing providing entertainment for cooking.

“Don’t forget who you’re talking to.”

Steve added to Bucky’s adamancy, “yeah, we’re the experts,” he continued, smiling and pointing to Nic, “take notes. No missing ingredients here.”

Nic shook her head at the jovial atmosphere and walked to the fridge, “anything foolproof that I can help with?”

“Do we have any fruit in there?”

Nicolette snagged a few bags of various fruits as she replied to Nat’s request, “sure do. I’ll get it rinsed and cut.” Nic let out a smile, glad to be of some assistance – still trying to prove herself to her new housemates.

“That may be difficult. Tony removed all the knives,” Nat gave a slight smirk as she continued, “he’s already warming up to you. Won’t be long.”

Nicolette washed the fruit and turned to snag a few paper towels from the roll next to the stove. After tearing the towels, the glimmer of silver on the side of Bucky’s jeans caught her attention; she recognized the small sliver of metal as the clip of a knife holster. A movement over her shoulder prompted her to look toward Nat who softly nodded and smiled upon understanding what Nic was contemplating. Steve and Bucky were in deep conversation; so, with the most graceful of movements, Nic slipped her hand past the edge of Bucky’s shirt, softly slipping the knife from its sheath without its owner realizing. Smiling to herself, Nicolette began cutting the fruit and separated it into various bowls.

“Alrighty, breakfast is ready,” Steve rang out, placing the platter of dozens of pancakes on the island as Tony, Wanda, and Vision were making their way into the kitchen.

“Who gave her a knife?” Tony accusatorily shouted, pointing toward Nic who was drying off the now clean blade. Without responding to Tony’s comment, Nicolette turned to Bucky who was now standing near the last available barstool and passed him the knife, hilt forward. He immediately flung his prosthetic arm to his side, pulling up his shirt slightly to reveal an empty sheath.

Natasha chimed in as Bucky stared at the knife, confused, “she’s good like that.”

“Barnes you’re killing me,” Tony spat across the island as he snagged a plate and began loading up food.

“Thanks for letting me borrow this.”

Bucky slowly took the knife and placed it back into the sheath as he half-jokingly and half-disapprovingly responded to Nicolette’s gratitude, “yeah, _let_ you.”

Nic climbed up into the remaining stool just the pancake platter was making its rounds. After snagging two, she passed the platter to Bucky who, despite taking the platter, gave a look of disapproval.

“Let’s be realistic,” he shoved four more pancakes onto Nic’s plate with a held-back smile.

“I was trying to be polite and just get seconds later,” Nic confessed.

“There’s not going to be anything left on that plate after Thor gets a hold of it,” Natasha gestured toward Thor, the last in the rounds, as he readily agreed.

“They quickly learned to put the Mighty Thor at the end of the line when food is involved,” Thor proudly spoke as if this was some sort of personal accomplishment.

***   ***   ***

Tony chimed in as everyone was either finishing their plate or rinsing dishes, “before everyone runs off, I have some info on the hacking.” Tony rolled a small metal ball onto the kitchen island which promptly stopped upon reaching the center where Thor’s hammer sat. “Prince of Asgard,” Tony began, looking towards Thor who was cleaning his plate. “Once again, that’s not an acceptable centerpiece.”

The small ball bearing swiveled slightly then spat out a blue projection depicting video surveillance of three rooms, in one of which two people were tending to computers. “This is a real-time projection of the people who hacked into our security system. It took a while to track them down; but, FRIDAY made it happen.”

“I recognize that place.” Nic perked up in her chair, taking in the detailed projection. Rather confused, she inquired, “how did you get this image?”

“I followed the same route they used to hack into our intercom, through six bogus routing locations, to tap into their security feed.”

Based upon Nic’s even more confused expression despite Stark’s explanation, Natasha pressed Nic further, “how do you know this place?”

“That’s our Kansas safe house,” Nicolette slowly began, “that I was told was destroyed three years ago.”

“Looks like someone rebuilt.”

“It’s doesn’t look any different from the last time I was there,” Nic immediately responded to Natasha’s hasty conclusion. She turned to Tony, “do you have video access to the other two floors?”

Tony looked offended she would even ask as he flung his hands up, prompting the image to change to a simulated floor layout with real time video feed. Hovering his right hand, palm down, over his left hand, palm up, he clapped them suddenly together resulting in the displayed image zooming outward. They were looking at the exterior of the entire three-story structure with the floorplans of each floor hovering over one another depicting their actual orientation.

Nicolette shook her head and mumbled to herself, “guess that was another lie I was told.” She glanced between Nat and Tony, shaking her head in disbelief, “that’s an R2 safe house.”  
Steve jumped in, “so what’s the game plan, here?”

“I assumed identifying the perps was a good start,” Tony, borderline offended his efforts had nearly gone unnoticed. “I was just going to pass on this information to SHIELD; however, whoever these people are, they seem to be obsessed with our new friend over here,” he gestured toward Nic. Twisting his hand in the air as if turning a combination dial on a safe 90-degrees, the projection abruptly changed. Various scans of confidential paper work were suspended in the air. Tony advanced his hand with his fingers pinched together toward one scan, opening his hand when he was an inch away from the projection, prompting the image to zoom. A large photo of Nicolette was located at the upper left corner with various statistics flanking the photo to the right; over the picture and words was a large stamp that read, TERMINATED.

“That’s not what I would describe as obsessed,” Natasha sounded rather confused as to why Tony would make that assumption based upon the displayed paperwork. “Just looks like the way you all removed the transmitter was successful.”

“That’s what I thought, until…” Tony responded, wafting his hand to the left repeatedly, causing new images to replace the previous rapidly. Nicolette readily recognized some of the papers flying by: mission reports from various assignments, compliance surveys, medical records, and summaries of her visits with Madame B. Tony stopped on a short, official document titled, “ _Agent Termination Necessitated by Potential Predisposed Threat_.” He looked toward Nic, “this is an order for your termination. The date of this document was prior to the transmitter removal; but, it does request for physical evidence of mission completion.”

Nicolette stared blankly at the projection; while her assumptions about the program’s intentions were true, it didn’t make hearing the news any easier.

Natasha interrupted her thoughts, “governments all over the world have been trying to access this information for decades; how were you able to access it in a matter of hours?”

Tony snapped his fingers in the air, prompting the original projection of the three-story structure to reappear, replacing the paperwork. “Our neighbors over here,” he sarcastically gestured toward the building, “were downloading all this information onto portable drives that are evidently not well protected. They’re up to something, deleting originals as they go.”

“They’re about to permanently vacate premises,” Nic concluded. “We would educate ourselves on the mission, delete and destroy evidence, then dispatch and only return upon completion. Leave no trail – physical or technological.”

“Why would they want to keep the files, though? And not encrypted at that?”

Tony shrugged his shoulders in response to Steve’s question, “haven’t figured that one out, yet.”

Buck sternly asked in a surprisingly defensive way, “do they don’t know she’s still alive?”

Vision methodically responded, “whether or not they know she is alive, do recall the order for termination required physical proof. Therefore, even if they think she died, they may still be looking for that evidence. So, the apt question is, are they aware that this is her last charted location?”

“Yes.” Tony flailed his arms in seemingly coordinated motions until a virtual file folder hovered over the kitchen island in front of everyone. “This was one of the folders that was also downloaded onto the drive.” Simulating double clicking on the folder, Tony revealed aerial photos and computer-rendered blueprints of the compound.

“So,” Sam took a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest, “we’re about to have some visitors?”

“Unless we pay them a visit first,” Stark gave a slight smirk as he scanned his audience for approval. “As much as I hate to admit it, given their urgency,” he looked down, tapping his fingers against the island, “I’m not sure we’d have time to run this by SHIELD before they’re knocking on our front door.”

“We can fill them in later,” Natasha smiled as she perked up.

Nicolette was energized by the thought of ridding those who had stolen her entire life; however, she was worried for the safety of her newfound allies.

There was an agreement amongst the remainder of the group, to which, Stark snapped his fingers prompting the projection to snap back to the three-story exterior. “Alright,” Tony looked toward Nic, “short stack, you’re up. Give us the rundown of this place.” Tony gave her a few quick pointers regarding controlling the projection then took a step back and sipped his coffee.

“Since the house is in a residential area, there are not many outdoor sensors to worry about tripping. So, means of entry – there’s the front door and back door; but, I’d keep an eye on the emergency exit which lets out over,” Nicolette attempted to point to an area on the opposite side of the structure, but was too short. Nic shifted her plate to the left and hopped onto the island, bending her right leg on the counter and dangling her left over the edge. She pointed at a precise location behind some shrubbery near a sidewalk and concluded her instruction, “here.”

Tony smiled as he mumbled, “oh, the number of short jokes I could have made.”

“Save it,” Nat snapped back as Nic just shook her head and smiled.

“I.T., can you show me the first floor?”

Highly offended, Tony obliged, altering the projection to meet Nic’s request as he opened his mouth to provide his rebuttal.

“If you can’t take ‘em, don’t dish ‘em,” Natasha interrupted with a sultry smirk.

Nic turned toward the projection to illustrate an appropriate plan of attack, “okay, centerpiece has to go.” She reached towards the center of the projection, referencing Tony’s earlier joke, barely able to reach the tip of the handle, and passed the hammer to Thor. Nic hesitantly looked around as Thor was slow in receiving the hammer and the group stared in unwarranted shock. “Anyway,” she began, still unsure by the seemingly awkward atmosphere, “I’d recommend we start here.” She pointed to the front door as she continued, “sounds not quite stealth enough; but, hear me out.” Nicolette continued walking the group through various parts of the safe house as she gave recommendations for executing their mission and answering numerous questions.

After a good 30 minutes, Nicolette snapped her fingers to return the projection to the original exterior view and hopped off the counter. “And that’s everything I know.”

“That’ll help a lot,” Steve genuinely responded, impressed by the breadth of information she provided the group with.

“It’s the least I can do after everything you all have done for me. Guys,” Nic donned a more serious tone as she continued, “I know I have yet to gain the trust of everyone; but, I really do hope you all trust me on this.”

“I think trusting in your information will be the least of our concerns,” Thor gave a slight smile as he referenced the meaning behind Nic’s ability to wield Mjolnir.

Amidst finalizing details of the mission, Bucky inquired, “I think we all agree the sooner, the better; but, when exactly?”

“I’d say head that way as soon as we all load up so we can strike tonight,” Natasha offered shrugging her shoulders.

Steve jumped in, “hang on. Can we address who all is going first?”

“Yeah, I’m going to vote that half-pint stays in case they know her activation words.”

“I agree with Tony,” Steve began then glanced toward Bucky, “and for the same reason, I think you should stay, too.” Bucky’s head sunk as he reluctantly agreed.

“Hang on, though.” Sam piped up, looking less than pleased with Nicolette and Bucky staying back. “Given a worst-case scenario and she’s somehow put under another trance and isn’t snapping out of it, are you comfortable enough to take her out?”

“Sam!” Steve disapprovingly jabbed at his accusatory question.

“What?!”

Nicolette agreed with Sam, “it is a valid question.” She turned to Bucky as everyone was waiting for his answer.

“Of course,” he nonchalantly shrugged in response to the simple question.

“Don’t get too cocky, now. Remember how close that fight was?” Natasha glanced toward Bucky with a sly smile.

“I think it would be wise for a couple more of us to stay back given the agents at this safe house were not the only ones given the termination orders,” Vision advised.

“Wanda, Vision, Thor. You three just got back; want to sit this one out?” Their recent trip to Asgard didn’t seem to tire any of them out; however, they all obliged.

Everyone began to disperse as Tony, Natasha, Steve and Sam left to prepare for the short trip, reconvening in the underground garage with the quinjet. As the four boarded the aircraft, Bucky shouted behind them, “don’t forget guys’ night tomorrow! Thor brought back some good stuff.”

Amidst Steve hollering in approval, Nat sarcastically responded, fully knowing he meant that for the guys, “wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

The roof to the garage opened as the quinjet slowly rose, piloted by Natasha, and darted out of sight.

Nic, who was gawking at their personal aircraft and the subterranean garage inquired, “I have to ask – the ‘good stuff’?”

Bucky let out a light laugh at her question, “this Asgardian liquor. Stronger than any other alcohol I’m aware of.” The two began walking back upstairs as he continued, “alcohol from Earth doesn’t have an effect on Steve and me because of the serum. But, we actually get a buzz from that Asgardian stuff.”

Wanda chimed in upon hearing the end of Bucky’s explanation, “that stuff makes Thor and Steve a special type of drunk. Let’s just say we’ve had to replace those bar stools after a few guys’ nights.”

Nic laughed at the clumsy visual Wanda created as Bucky just shook his head in disapproval.

“Enough storytelling,” Buck began, “just because they’re gone doesn’t mean we get a vacation. Training time!”

When Bucky was out of earshot, Wanda rolled her eyes at the utter lack of downtime and whispered to Nic, “and that’s why Steve put him in charge.” They both smiled as they made their way to get changed into workout clothes.

***   ***   ***

Bucky explained to Nic as the group made their way down to the training rooms, “we all have our own work out regimens; but, as often as possible, we’ll spar with each other.”

Wanda chimed in with a devilish smile, “sparing with us three,” she nodded toward Thor and Vision, “is a little different. We don’t necessarily rely on hand-to-hand combat. So, start with Barnes and then you can work your way up to the real fight.”

Barnes shot back an accusatory glare toward Wanda as if offended by her barking out orders and insinuation he was the weakest of the present Avengers.

“Well,” Thor playfully began, evidently trying to rile Barnes up, “do you disagree?”

“Okay, just setting your hammer on your opponent’s chest when they’re down is not fighting.” Nicolette doesn’t understand Bucky’s reference as the group lets out laughter.

Bucky and Nicolette continued walking down the hallway of training rooms as the other three broke off into the largest – easily two to three stories tall and stretching at least half the distance of a football field. Nicolette passed through a glass door that Buck held open for her, entering a smaller training room: a small 10-foot by 10-foot box with white walls.

“Don’t think I’ll go easy on you.”

Nic couldn’t tell if his jab was serious or playful. “Then, same.” She cocked her head to one side, trying to read the terrain as she followed his suit and placed her shoes just outside the door and began warming up. As she stretched, she watched Bucky intently, trying to locate any potential weapons that he may have brought – she did have a knack for locating those.

Without warning, Nicolette landed on her back on the slightly padded black flooring with a loud, “oomf.” Looking towards her opponent, Nic saw Buck walk around her with an impatient expression covering his face, “rule one; never let your guard down.”

“So, that’s how it’s going to be?” She took hold of the hand that Buck had offered her after taking her down with impressive ease. Grasping firmly on his hand, she swiftly pulled herself up, thrusting her shoulder into his abdomen, forcing him into the wall. Expecting Nicolette to pull a witty maneuver, Bucky was able to brace for the impact accordingly. What he wasn’t expecting was for Nicolette to anticipate him thrusting his knee upward toward her core to which she hooked her hand under his thigh and pushed with all of her might upward, tossing Buck off balance causing his back to hit the floor.

Nicolette immediately straddled her opponent, pinning his cybernetic arm to his side within the grip of her legs. With one arm, she struggled to immobilize his free right arm while shoving her forearm against his throat as his face began turning shades of red. Nicolette’s confidence morphed to confusion as a smile slowly crept across his face. Between arching his back and bending his prosthetic arm around Nicolette’s leg, he managed to flip their precarious position over, landing Nic on her back with a loud thump.

Despite her legs still wrapped around his torso, Bucky was able to free his left arm, wrapping his metal digits around both wrists above her head as he firmly grasped her throat with his right hand. Nicolette’s body was completely immobilized as the last of what little oxygen was left was seeping from her lips. She knew she could overpower him; she had before during graduation. Her internal monologue became hazy as Bucky spoke, “you’re not used to fighting people with the same level of strength as you. Remember, we both had the same injections; but, I’m still twice your size.”

He released his grip on both her neck and wrists, sitting back on his heels. Coughing and trying to catch her breath, Nic slowly released the grip she maintained around his torso, letting her legs rest on his out of momentary exhaustion.

Nic scooted backwards as she sat up to face him with a sly smile, “best two out three?”

Bucky shakes his head as an involuntary smile begins to form in response to her craving-for-more attitude as the two hop to their feet.

The duo immediately jumped into the fight, rapidly exchanging blows primarily to the respective opponent’s upper limbs and torso. Nic missed one punch as Buck dodged to the left which threw Nicolette’s body forward, past Bucky’s. Instantly recognizing her compromised situation given her back was now towards her opponent, she lunged forward to create distance from him. Her attempt was foiled as she was jerked back, Buck holding firmly to the back of her sweater. “Be weary of what you bring to the fight and how it can be used against you,” he sternly advised.

“Yeah, like you’re the expert at that,” Nicolette joked back referring to the knife and gun she managed to disarm him of during her short stay at the compound. She flung her shoulders backward in a sharp manner, pushing him back a few inches then simultaneously squatted down and thrusted her arms up, swiftly forcing the sweater off her head revealing her black sports bra. With her hands gripping the edge of each sleeve, she spun to face her opponent who still had a firm grip on the garment and hastily wrapped one sleeve over his head, collecting both sleeves in one hand behind his back. With a knee in his lower back and a hand on the back of his head, with all of her might, Nic thrusted his body toward the nearest wall.

A loud crack followed by loud Russian profanity from Bucky prompted Nicolette to immediately release her stronghold. The jacket, wrapped around his core, fell to the floor as his flesh hand flew to his face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Nicolette, worried she may have crossed some unspoken rule, stuttered to finish her sentence honestly, “ _actually_ break you.”

Bucky turned around, revealing a slow trickle of blood coming from his nose, and lightly grunted, “you didn’t break me.”

“So, did I win that round?”

Bucky sniffled, trying to inhibit the slowly drip to form a larger mess, and shook his head at her satisfied expression, “I guess.”

Nicolette immediately dodged the heel of Bucky’s hand flying straight toward her face, “whoa, you’re going to get blood everywhere!”

“Well, if you’d stop aiming for the nose, that wouldn’t be a problem.” Bucky landed three rapid successive punches to her abdomen then, stumbling back, Nic took a knee, regaining her breath. “You actually break my nose and I’m not going to give you any breathers.”

Nicolette cocked her head to one side, surprised at his taunting attitude. Using the leverage from her grounded knee, she forced her left leg straight upward between his legs to which he promptly blocked with both hands, letting out a sharp, “low blow, little lady!”

Having regained his footing and taken a punch to the abdomen, Bucky arced his leg to the right in a perfectly formed roundhouse kick aimed for her shoulder. Purposely avoiding her head out of fear of permanent damage, Bucky was surprised when the direct blow appeared to incapacitate her completely. He sunk to her side, rolling her still body over to see her emotionless face, eyes closed, slowly forming a devilish grin. Without further warning, Nicolette spun a leg between their faces and perfectly aligned his throat in the crook of the back of her knee. Taking advantage of the reversed teaching opportunity, Nic mocked, “don’t fall for the damsel in distress routine.”

Unable to free himself in their current position, Bucky rolls their intertwined bodies over and slips a knee under himself. The color beginning to drain from his face, morphing from red to shades of faded blue, he manages to get his feet under their combined weight with Nic practically sitting on his shoulders. Her confidence is replaced by worry as her opponent furthers her distance to the ground as he extends his legs, standing up straight. Surprisingly to Nic, Bucky began quickly tapping on her leg, prompting her to release her pressure and hop down from his shoulders.

Wanda peaked in the door as Bucky was hunched over catching his breath, blood still dripping from his nose onto the matted floor. “I see the weakest link has been established,” she let out with a smile as she exited and let the door close.

“So, I win?”

Bucky stood bolt upright upon Nic’s question, immediately retorting, “uh, no.”

“Technically you tapped out.”

“I could have easily finished you.”

Nic slyly smiled, “but, you didn’t.”

“Because throwing you down from that height could have killed you,” Bucky raised his eyebrows at Nic as he walked past her and left their training room. “Thor, give her a challenge,” he hollered to the Asgardian as the two entered the larger training room.

Wanda quickly added as Nic entered the new room, “boys, remember, we’re supposed to keep her out of trouble.”

Bucky chortled at Wanda’s nonchalant chastising as he applied pressure to his nose with a towel he took from a nearby shelf, snagging an extra and throwing it over his shoulder.

Nicolette, with her small frame dressed in a sports bra and high-waisted, calf-length elastic pants, was dwarfed standing across from Thor, whose large stature was covered in sweat pants and a muscle shirt, with his hammer dangling from his left hand. The massive training room made their vast size difference appear even greater. Nicolette took the first strike, landing a solid kick to his core, barely moving the god an inch as he stood still, smirking.

“Any recommendation here, Wanda?”

Seeing Nic’s desperation, she offered a couple words of advice. “You won’t win hand-to-hand against Thor – you _cannot_ overpower him. You can, however, outthink him.”

Nicolette hardly saw how Wanda’s words of encouragement were helpful at this point. Thor threw his hammer past Nic who looked puzzled given he had missed by a couple feet. She was then flung to the ground as it nailed her in the back while returning to its owner.

Nic groaned from the pain as she writhed on the floor. “Looks like a hammer but flies like a boomerang…’cause that makes sense,” Nic sarcastically mumbled as she pulled herself back to her feet. That gave her an idea though. Walking approximately ten feet away from Thor, she stood up as tall as she could, making herself appear to be as large of a target as possible and began taunting. “You could use some target practice over there, sir.”

Laughing and falling prey to her technique, Thor launched his hammer directly toward Nic, leaving his hand suspended in anticipation of the weapon’s return. Upon Thor’s release, Nicolette lunged forward, twisting her body, barely avoiding its imminent path, and made a beeline for the god. A couple feet away, she launched her body upward, grasping his left shoulder to provide her with leverage to place her right foot on that same shoulder. Pulling all her weight onto her anchored lower limb, she spun to avoid his arm and extended her body to see the hammer returning as planned. Thor, with one arm still outstretched, realized her goal too late. The hammer made contact with Nicolette’s hand just as Thor had shifted out to remove contact with her body, attempting to rid her of stabilization. Nic, without her Asgardian perch, willed gravity to aid in her planned forceful impact of the hammer and the ground. The jolt caused a ripple-like wave to emit in all directions around her. Surprisingly, the supersonic wave had no effect on the rooms structural integrity; but, it did throw Thor from his feet, catapulting him into the wall nearly 20 yards back.

Nicolette immediately stood up and spun around to face her opponent to suddenly understand the capability of the Asgardian’s weapon. In shock as Thor struggled to his feet, Nic looked over toward the others by the door. Vision was helping Wanda back to a standing position, having been thrown into the wall by the force; Wanda held her hand up as if to silently signify she wasn’t hurt. Her gaze then immediately snapped to a loud moan that came from Bucky who had been sitting on the floor, also inside the training room; he was holding the towel to his face with his metal hand cupping the back of his head.

“Dammit, I’m not even fighting and you’re still beating me up.” Evidently, the shock wave had caused Bucky’s head to slam against the wall.

“Nic, you’re bleeding!”

Alarmed by Wanda’s exclamation, Nic looked down to her abdomen and realized all the activity had stretched the incision despite the staples still anchoring the majority. While she was surprised how slowly the pain seemed to set in, there was already blood staining through the waistband of her pants.

“Shit. I completely forgot,” Bucky shook his head, clearly upset at his carelessness.

“It’s fine. Really. May need some stain remover but I’m ok,” Nic quickly reassured everyone.

Vision spoke next, softly but resolute, “I think we’re done for the day.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” Wanda readily agreed

Nicolette slowly passed the hammer back to Thor who hesitantly took it. Confused at the lingering surprise donning the groups’ faces, she began, “sorry; but, did I break some sort of rule?”

Vision and Wanda were already making their way out of the door as Thor leaned over to Bucky, gesturing to his hammer as he whispered, “does she know?” Silently, Buck just shook his head in negation.

Bucky turned to Nic, holding out the spare towel as he walked toward her. “No. You’re just,” he faltered with the conclusion of his sentence, “stronger in more ways than I think you know.”

“Thank you,” Nicolette began, emitting a tone of question as opposed to one of gratitude, “I think?”

“What d’you say we go get cleaned up?”

“Sounds good.” Nicolette’s soft smile was overcome by hurt as she continued, “and I really am sorry about your nose. I promise I didn’t mean to.”

“As long as we don’t make this a habit of yours.” Bucky removed the blood saturated towel from his face, “see, I’m fine, too.”


	9. Domestic Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, the fluff. It's great and plentiful.

The blue light from the alarm clock flooded her field of vision as Nicolette rolled over in her bed, unable to sleep out of fear of closing her eyes only to face another nightmare. 1:15 A.M. It was bad enough that she was still getting used to her post-assassin guilt; but, to have to suffer these hauntings while the one person who had sympathized with her, Natasha, was away, was a double blow. Giving into her insomniac struggle, Nicolette left the warmth of her bed and made way to the main living area.

Having eventually figured out the tablet controlling the TV, Nicolette stared at the monitor mounted on the wall as she mindlessly flipped through channels. She stretched out her pajama shorts clad legs, plopping her feet on the marble table, which she had used as a weapon just days ago.

“Chocolate or vanilla?”

Jumping at the deep voice coming from the kitchen, Nicolette swiveled her head to identify her company. Bucky, clothed in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, had opened the freezer and was perusing through his options.

“Oh, uh, chocolate.”

After further rummaging, Bucky sunk into the couch next to Nic and passed her a spoon then opened the container revealing what was remaining of a pint of chocolate ice cream.

“Did I wake you with the TV? I tried to turn down the volume quickly; but, it took me a while to figure out the controls.” Nic tilted her head toward the tablet on the cushion to her left.

“No, I was already awake.”

Nicolette looked at Bucky, evidently not believing that he just happened to be awake.

“You’re not the only one who deals with those nightmares.” He shoveled a scoop of ice cream into his mouth then tilted the pint toward Nic, offering her some.

Nic took a scoop for herself as she contemplated various questions she had regarding his nightmares. “Wait, Nat told you about those?”

“She didn’t have to,” he began, already digging for another bite. “We both heard you that first night.”

“Do they ever get better?”

“They do.” Bucky finished his bite and turned toward Nic, “but not until you talk to someone about them.”

Nic let out a light laugh at the familiar phrase, “you sound like Nat.” She did want to talk about the nightmares and overcoming them; but, she wasn’t sure if Bucky was offering for that discussion or not. After another bite of ice cream, she took a deep breath and jumped. “How do you manage to even sleep at night?” Nicolette spoke in a joking manner despite being desperate for a solution. Her attempt at staying lighthearted failed quickly as she became more serious. “Being able to close your eyes and not seeing their eyes staring back at you. In utter desperation.” Nic’s head sunk low, reliving those images every time she spoke of them.

“Steve.”

Nicolette didn’t follow the joke she thought Bucky was making. “Huh?” Nicolette scraped the bottom of the pint, almost polishing off the remainder of the ice cream.

“Steve and I grew up together. After his parents passed, he moved in with me so we naturally grew close. We were practically brothers.” Bucky let out a light laugh as if reminiscing on the old days as he tilted the carton toward Nic, offering her the last bit, to which she partook as she watched intently, thoroughly enjoying seeing him open up. “It may sound odd; but, he’s the only one who can comfort me after the nightmares. They’re fairly rare now. But, occasionally I’ll have one when he’s not here and I just can’t get back to sleep. So, I come out here,” a genuine smile formed across his face as he held up the now empty container, “and make a dent in Tony’s ice cream stash.” He got up to dispose of the carton and wash the spoons.

Nicolette smiled at the way he turned the sensitive topic into something comforting to talk about. Slowly but surely, Bucky was letting his guard down and sharing more with Nic, and she loved that. “I felt childish for wanting her to stay; but, I don’t think I would have been able to sleep if Nat hadn’t stayed with me after that nightmare.”

“All of us here were broken. At some point.” Bucky reclaimed his position on the couch, leaning into the corner and resting his prosthetic arm on the back of the couch with his hand on the cushion behind Nic’s head. “So, we all get it. And we’re all here for one another.”

Nicolette smiled at the positive image Bucky was creating regarding the compound. She really felt comfortable and at-home with her new housemates. Especially around Bucky, which really surprised her. However, it made sense, given their pasts and current struggles paralleled.

“In the training room, with that…restraint chair, you started to talk about overcoming your activation words-” Nicolette wasn’t entirely certain what her question was; she just wanted to satisfy her genuine curiosity.

Bucky nodded as he recalled their previous truncated conversation. “I have to give credit to Tony – he ultimately figured out that the only way to overcome it was to train my brain to associate those words with something new – instead of killing people. It took practically the whole time I’ve been here, but worked.” He donned a smile, adding, “we’ll get you there too.”

Nic let out a nervous laugh as she was flattered by his offer of assistance; but, knew that no one else would agree to her reconditioning. “Oh, I’m not worth that hassle. Or that kind of time commitment.”

Genuinely confused, “why do you say that?”

“Everyone here has these grand agendas,” Nic twirled her hands in the air for additional flare, “ _saving humanity_.” She cast an empty gaze on the TV as she continued, “and I get it. Ultimately, there’s too much at stake for anyone here to trust me enough to invest that kind of time and energy to repair some random broken assassin.” Nic gave a forced smile, a failed attempt at keeping the mood light.

“Coming from a _random once-broken assassin_ ,” Bucky dropped the loaded tone of mockery and replaced it with sincerity, “we trust you.”

Nicolette’s eyebrow-raised, head-cocked gaze spoke volumes; she clearly didn’t believe him.

“Remember when you silenced the room after picking up Thor’s hammer during the debriefing?”

Utterly confused how this pertains to the topic at hand, Nic hesitantly went along, “yeah…?”

“And remember the look we all gave you after you used Thor’s hammer against him?”

“Yeah; it’d be nice if someone would like to explain any of that.”

“That’s not an ordinary hammer.” Bucky struggled as he continued, never having actually explained this to anyone and not even believing Steve when he was first told. “Only those whom the hammer deems,” he paused, feeling as if he was reciting some fairytale, and raised his hands making air quotes, “worthy are able to hold it.” Seeing Nic’s expression, a blend of disbelief and confusion, he continued. “Asgardian worthiness is far greater than human worthiness – it _means_ something.”

“Yeah, well,” Nic decided to just go along with his charade, “if I’m able to hold it; then, everyone here and their dog must be able to.”

“Nope. Only you, Vision, and Thor.”

Still lacking belief, Nic defiantly got up and walked into the kitchen, snagged Thor’s hammer from the island and walked back over to Bucky. “Entertain me.” She tossed the weapon toward him and watched as he was unable to prevent its impact with his chest resulting in the hammer sliding down and landing in his lap prompting Buck to let out a muffled grunt.

Through gritted teeth, he strained, “get it off,” as he vigorously tried shifting the hammer.

Seeing the muscles of his arms become firm in a failed attempt at moving the weapon, Nic realized Bucky was enduring genuine pain from the hammer’s unfortunately located pressure. “Oh, shoot.” Nic quickly stepped forward and picked the weapon up, placing it gently on the marble coffee table.

Now sitting on the edge of the couch with one hand bracing himself on the table, the other planted firmly in his crotch, Bucky managed to huff out, “still think I’m lying after _that_ show?”

“Sorry,” Nic hesitantly began, positioning herself back on the couch with her hands in her lap like a recently scolded child. She began to entertain the idea that maybe Bucky was right about holding the hammer; however, the simple ability to carry an inanimate object can’t truly be indicative of worthiness. “But, that doesn’t _mean_ anything.”

Having recovered, Bucky quickly straightened his posture and glanced toward Nic in surprise, “it means everything!” He pulled his left leg, bent, onto the couch, squaring his body to Nicolette as he continued. “I can’t explain it; but, that hammer can see beyond what we see.” And there he goes with the air quotes again. “It somehow _knows_ what’s in the wielder’s heart – deepest morals, values, truths.” Bucky’s shoulders relaxed as his hands fell to the couch cushion, fully knowing he had not done justice to the meaning.

Nicolette slowly nodded her head. “You do realize how hokey this sounds, right?”

“I know,” Bucky laughed out. “Ask Thor or Vision about it tomorrow. You’ll get one hell of a lecture; but, trust me, it’ll sound much more eloquent than my midnight monologue.”

Nicolette lightly laughed, still trying to wrap her head around the absurdity of their current conversation. Buck resituated himself on the couch, kicking his feet up on the marble table once more and comfortably reclining into the back cushion.

Nudging his prosthetic left arm to her right, Nicolette jokingly asked through a yawn, “any way you can turn that thing into a space heater?”

“Haven’t heard that one before,” he sarcastically responds, shaking his head while reaching to his right for the arm chair positioned perpendicularly to the couch. “No. But, here’s a blanket.”

Nic begins wrapping herself up in the massive quilt and offers the remaining corner to her couch mate in response to his humored expression.

“I thought you’d have more than that to spare given you’re so tiny.”

In the deepest, most sarcastic voice she could conjure, Nicolette mocks back, “have heard that one before.” Taking half of a scoot closer to Bucky, in a jokingly regretful manner, she stretches half the blanket over Bucky’s lap. Unsure where to place his metal arm after having to move it out from Nic’s way, he awkwardly let it fall onto the back cushion behind Nic as he pulled the covers tight over himself. Nicolette, with legs curled against her chest under the covers for maximum warmth, relinquished control of the TV by passing the tablet to Bucky.

Not even 30 minutes later, the space between the two had closed as Nic’s legs had slumped against Bucky’s thigh and her head now rested on his metal arm, mouth ajar, as she was fast asleep. Bucky was surprised by the faint snore that escaped from Nicolette, knowing her make shift pillow could not provide adequate comfort. He tapped the tablet, shutting off the TV, removed the blanket and carried the slumbering Nic to her room. Having situated her under her covers, Bucky stealthily made his way to her door.

“James?”

He slowly turned and sat on the edge of the bed so he could lean over as to not speak too loudly. “Yes?”

Through the comforter pulled up to her face, Nicolette, half asleep, mumbled, “can you stay?”

Wondering if this was how Steve felt when Bucky would need him, he smiled at the thought of being the one protecting. “Sure.”

As Bucky climbed in bed behind Nicolette, she felt the mattress sink in, accommodating for his weight. Even though their bodies weren’t physically touching, from the additional weight and the new radiant warmth, Nic felt reassured. Felt protected. She smiled to herself, knowing she would sleep peacefully for the remainder of the night.

***   ***   ***

Nicolette’s eyes slowly fluttered open in response to the bright light being cast through her window. She rolled over onto a cool section of the sheet and realized she was alone. She rolled out of bed, went to the bathroom, then exited her room, walking to where she could hear Thor and Vision talking. Entering the living area, still in her sleeping shorts and t-shirt, she hesitantly walked over to the dining area that more often than not housed mid-use games or puzzles. Vision nodded to signal to Nic that she wasn’t interrupting anything as he could read her peaked curiosity.

“Can I ask you two an odd question?”

Thor donned a curious expression as Vision replied, more than eager to resolve any queries, “anything.”

“Last night, James was telling me about your hammer,” she gestured to Thor and paused, unsure how to ask her question.

“I tried to explain it to her but she didn’t believe me,” Bucky nonchalantly hollered over from behind the refrigerator door.

She jumped slightly, having previously been unaware he was present. “Well, you must admit it sounds rather absurd,” Nicolette jokingly defended.

“I can understand how, initially, the qualities we claim this inanimate object possesses sound rather far-fetched,” Vision began in response to Nic’s reservations. “However, do remember this hammer is not of this world; therefore, the parameters that Earthly objects are bound by simply do not apply. It can project beams of energy, elicit the powers of a storm, give the wielder immense power and flight. The great power the hammer projects upon the one who holds it must be protected.”

Thor picked up the explanation from where Vision left off. “My father put an enchantment on it when I was banished to Earth. The enchantment makes Mjolnir selective for who can become capable of powers equivalent to mine. So, only those who are worthy to rule Asgard may carry her.” He smiled, tossing the hammer, hilt-over-head, in his hand upon concluding his explanation.

“See, fancy lecture.” Bucky mumbled through his current mouthful of cereal, referring to his prediction last night regarding Thor and Vision’s eloquence.

In deep contemplation, Nicolette silently walked into the kitchen and prepared herself a bowl of cereal, situating herself on top of the island with the bowl in her lap to eat.

Vision, analyzing her silence, inquired, “did that resolve any reservations you had?”

“For the most part. I am curious about a couple things you mentioned, though.” Nicolette took a bite, elaborating as Vision nodded his head prompting her to continue. “So, she’s a she? And her name is Mjolnir?”

Bucky chortled, nearly choking on his breakfast and Vision simply smiled at her sarcastically delivered questions. Thor looked unamused at the group’s lack of composure and responded with a succinct, “yes.”

Vision added, still slightly amused, “you said a couple things. What else?”

“What exactly is this _beam of energy_ you referred to?”

“Morning everyone,” Wanda walked in mid-conversation. “You stole my spot,” she joked in response to Nic’s precarious place to eat as she often chose to perch on that very corner of the island. Nicolette, smiling, scooted over a foot and pat the spot she previously occupied. Wanda made her way to the coffee pot to prepare a cup before joining Nic as the group responded to her greeting.

Thor gave a mischievous smile and made his way to Bucky who was shaking his head in disbelief. Just as Nic was about to ask someone to explain the odd behavior, Thor put a finger over his lips then pointed to Wanda who had her back turned to the group. Hovering Mjolnir a couple inches from Bucky’s metal arm, Thor elicited a whitish blue electrical looking arc. Buck stretched his prosthesis after enduring the small zap then took a couple silent steps toward Wanda who was now stirring her coffee.

“Boys, you are being suspiciously quiet,” Wanda began as she turned around right as Bucky reached forward and poked her arm with his prosthetic pointer finger. There was an audible zap as she jumped, avoiding spilling her coffee only due to levitating it amidst a red flowing current. Thor and Buck erupted into laughter. “Dammit, you two.” She lowered her mug with her powers until it reached her hand, sauntering toward the opposite side of the island to join Nic.

“I thought his arm already had an electrical charge?”

“That charge is a lot more than the little shock Thor gave his arm,” Wanda desperately explained how the latter was not painful in the way the inherent shock factor of the metal arm is.

“I take it they do that a lot?”

Wanda cocked an eyebrow and whispered in response to Nic, “not as much since I started dishing it right back.”

Nicolette gave a confused look to Wanda, having previously missed any form of retaliation. Wanda slightly gestured her head to Buck who was leaning in the corner of two adjacent countertops behind them, finishing off his cereal. Nic allowed her gaze to discretely follow Wanda’s instruction. Bucky took one final scoop from his bowl and began lifting it to his mouth as a red glowing current began circumventing his metal forearm. Without further warning, his hand jerked causing him to spill the spoon’s contents down the front of his shirt. Nicolette let out a loud laugh as Wanda simply smiled and continue sipping her coffee.

“I guess I deserved that,” he huffed out as he drank the remaining milk from the bowl.

“You deserve wearing the contents of that bowl,” Wanda chirped back.

Placing the rinsed bowl in the dishwasher, Bucky wandered down the hall while removing his shirt, sourly hollering to the group, “looks like I’m starting a load of laundry. Anyone have any other soiled clothes that need washing?”

Ignoring the fact that his question was utterly sarcastic Nic finished her breakfast and hopped off the island. “Actually, yes! I forgot to start a load with my pants that have the blood from my stitches!” Nicolette ran into her bathroom, located the potentially stained garment and ran down the west hall to the laundry area.

The laundry room could only be described as a glorified mud room, equipped with a shower in one corner, tiled floors and walls with a drain in the center of the room, two washer and dryer sets, a small cabinet with each inhabitant’s name, numerous cubbies with various colors of sheets, and a whole slew of chemical bottles, organized and labeled alphabetically. A necessary room for post-mission clean ups.

“Alien gunk. Bodily fluids. EM residue. Food. Paint…” Nic was reading the row of bottles with chemical contents ranging from white to green. “What are these?”

“Nat’s come up with very effective solutions for a whole variety of stains.” Bucky responded, snagging the bottle labeled “food” and began spraying his shirt.

Nic followed suit, grabbing the “bodily fluids” labeled bottle and sprayed the waistband of her pants. “Do I even want to know what ‘EM residue’ is?”

Shaking his head and smiling as if reliving a humorous event, Bucky explained. “When Stark first made my new arm, he was still trying to perfect some electromagnetic something in the shoulder area. Anyway, everywhere I went there was this trail of grease that had the consistency of tar. Nat was so frustrated about the stains it left around the compound that she made a specialty cleaner for it.” Buck tossed his shirt into the washer and closed the door after Nic added her pants. He pointed to the EM residue bottle and conclude, “smells foul but works wonders.”

Nicolette scrunched her nose at the thought of some of the chemicals’ uses and began walking toward the door. She stopped at a cold sensation on her left arm prompting her to turn around. Her gaze followed the metal hand that grazed her upper arm, up to Bucky’s shoulder where metal and flesh haphazardly meshed. Nic couldn’t tear her observation away from the wide swath of scar tissue around the prosthesis; the scarring and the metal made the anatomy of the left part of his chest and shoulder look foreign, not even human.

“It took me awhile to get used to it, too.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.” Blushing at her rudeness, Nic quickly apologized and shifted her gaze to meet his eyes. “It’s just…” Nic struggled to find the right words, trying not to offend him, “intriguing.”

Bucky lightly laughed at her choice of adjective, “if you think it’s intriguing as is, wait and see when Tony has to work on the inside.”

“How?” Nic grasped his metal wrist and lifted the limb, genuinely curious as to how Tony would even open the prosthetic.

Smiling at her unreserved curiosity, “he created a tool that acts as a key to unlock these plates.” Buck pointed to a small sliver between two of the metal plates on the underside of his upper arm, “he slips it right here and it releases the lock allowing each one to be pulled back separately.”

“Is it just wires and what not inside?”

“Yep, just the soulless, heartless bunch of wires I am,” Bucky gloomily stated, utterly playful.

Nic dropped his arm, letting the limb fall to his side as she let out a sarcastic sigh in response to his lame joke. She smiled as she inquired to why he stopped her, “what’d you need?”  
“Just wanted to make sure you slept alright, any more nightmares?”

Nicolette smiled at his sincerity, “no.” She became slightly embarrassed as she continued, “I’m sorry for asking you to stay – guess I was in some sort of exhausted stupor.”

“Don’t be.” Bucky let a hesitant smile form across his face as he confessed, “kept my nightmares at bay, too.” He extended his right arm, gently placing it on her shoulder reassuringly.  

Not certain what drove her following action, Nicolette took two rapid steps toward Bucky and sunk into his strong frame. Her head barely measured to his shoulders allowing her to nuzzle her head in his chest as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her torso. The contrast between the warmth from his right arm and the coolness from his left was a unique sensation she was starting to be comforted by. Nic finally felt like she was where she belonged – not just in his arms, but around people who genuinely cared for her.

“I knew you were short; but-” Bucky began joking but was immediately interrupted by Nic.

“Don’t ruin it.” Nicolette laughed as she released him, looking up and down his body as he stared but in curiosity. “You’re over 230 pounds, right?” Buck nodded, unsure where this was going. “Every time you poke fun at my height just remember that you’re only one foot taller than me but you weigh over a hundred pounds more than me.” Nic shrugged her shoulders and poked his stomach as if to insinuate he carried a hefty gut, then nonchalantly walked out of the mud room.

Bucky hustled after Nic as they were both walking down the hall, “Thor weighs like 260 or maybe 280.”

Nicolette was rather entertained by how easily he was offended, so she continued the taunting. “Well, he is taller than you and not to mention only one of you two is a god.”

“Okay, well,” still walking behind Nic, Buck continued his weak defense, “Vision can manipulate his density and weigh a lot more than me.”

“Yeah, and I heard he only does that to make you feel better about this,” Nic reached back, placing her hand on his core, utterly ignoring his prominent abdominal musculature.

The two finally reached the main living area where Thor, Vision, and Wanda were gathered around the dining room table as Buck gave up and huffed out, “fine, I’m going to find a new shirt.”

“They’re back,” Wanda vaguely spoke just shaking her head at Nic’s satisfied expression.

Tony’s voice rang out from a conference style phone in the middle of the table, “did he just say he’s going to get a shirt? Why is Barnes walking around without a shirt?”

“The klutz spilt breakfast on himself again,” Wanda replied, knowing fully well that those on the other end of the line would understand the reference. “So, he had to go wash it.”

“Better question, why was half pint running around with him shirtless?”

There was a mumbled voice in the background, sounded like Natasha, “what?! Tony, put them on speaker.”

“I had to wash my pants – there was blood on them.”

There was silence from all the guys, Wanda and Buck let out a light laugh and Natasha simply responded, “…oh.”

From the awkward lack of response, Nicolette immediately knew her statement warranted explanation. “Oh, gosh, no. James broke one part of the incision open during sparing yesterday.”

Tony, speaking to those on his side of the line, asked, “since when does he go by James?” He was utterly ignored as Natasha interrupted.

“Barnes, you better not lay one more hand on her until I get back. Understand?” Natasha’s firm demand took them all off guard, especially Barnes who had yet to retrieve a new shirt.

Wanda let a smile creep onto her face, “she can handle herself, Nat. She bloodied up Barnes pretty good, too.”

“What the hell is happening over there?” Steve immediately jumped in; although it was not clear for whom he was more concerned, Nicolette or Bucky.

“Rogers, everything is under control. Yesterday’s training session got a little carried away; but, everyone is okay.” Vision, the group’s voice of reason, eased everyone’s concerns for the most part.

“Keep the kids out of trouble,” Stark commanded to Vision to which Thor and Wanda simultaneously chimed in, ensuring they were not included.

“Guys, focus!” Nat bellowed, successfully regrouping the phone call. “The mission was successful and we’ve managed to get our hands on a lot of information. But, going through it we found two nearby locations that we want to fully vet prior to heading back. Nic, are you aware of any other safe houses in the area?”

Wishing she could be of more help, Nic reluctantly replied, “no, they’re few and far between. The last one in the States is in northern California.”

Sam chimed in with his usual lack of trust, “I find it hard to believe there are only two in the entire US.”

“There were others in more strategic locations; but, you guys inadvertently shut them down. The New York house was destroyed in the Chitauri invasion and the DC house was vacated after the Triskelion incident.”

Natasha softly yet sarcastically spoke to Sam, “any more doubts we can clear up for you, bird?”

Steve interrupted before any further bickering could continue, “thanks for the information, Nic. If all goes well, we’ll be done scouting the two locations by nine tonight, putting us to get back home just after midnight. We’ll call if there’s a change of plans.”

“Don’t do anything stupid, Steve.” Rogers laughed at Bucky’s form of well wishes.

“How can he? He left it all here,” Nic nudged Buck in the rib with her elbow. He flinched but smiled at the familiar reaction as Steve continued his laughter on the end of the line.

After concluding the call, Bucky wandered towards his room to finally replace the shirt from breakfast.

“What you said to Barnes,” Wanda began, with a slight smile, “that’s very similar to what Rogers would always tell him when they would not be on the same mission.”

Wondering if Wanda meant that positively or negatively, Nic responded with a hesitant, “oh.”

Wanda laughed and shook her head, “that’s not a bad thing. Normally Barnes is a very reserved person. But he seems to be opening up around you – I think Rogers recognizes and appreciates that.”

Nic simply smiled, feeling like she was finding her niche in the group, in life.


	10. Not Staying Out of Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have humor and feels and bonding in this chapter, y'all.

Nicolette was in her bathroom, finally changing out her pajamas she wore far too long that day. As she pulled the pajama shirt over her head, the cloth caught on a staple that had halfway worked its way out. She wasn’t good about wearing a dressing over the wound, even during showers which she knew was probably a bad idea. She gently tugged on the small warped metal to no avail. Nicolette took a deep breath then pulled fiercely on the staple causing it to slightly tear the skin upon making its exit.

“Ah, der’mo!”

Bucky, who was sitting on the couch watching TV, turned to Wanda, who was sitting on the nearby chair. “You heard that, right?”

“What’d she say?”

“Cursing in Russian,” he answered Wanda’s question, recognizing the language of the profanity. He turned his head towards Nicolette’s room and shouted, “We were given one job while everyone was gone – keep you out of trouble. Doesn’t sound like you’re making that job too easy!”

Realizing her exclamation of pain was audible even in the living room, she responded, “just trying to get these staples out; but, they keep snagging on my skin.”

Wanda winced at the visual Nic’s shouts were creating as Bucky responded as he got up and began walking toward her room. “Don’t take them out, yet!”

“I’m dying to take a shower without having to cover my entire torso in that plastic,” Nicolette was over exaggerating in her description of the dressing she wore out of sheer desperation.

At her bedroom door, Bucky responded, “Aren’t you supposed to wait a week or so?”

“I heal faster than normal. They’re coming out. Now.”

Giving up on convincing her otherwise, Buck negotiated, “then come out here. Wanda should be able to remove them with less collateral damage.” He peaked down the hall to the arm chair, “Wanda, we need you.”

Nicolette quickly threw new clothes on and joined the two in the living room.

Wanda spoke first, almost reluctant to have agreed, “ok, I need you laying down somewhere and holding very still.”

“As long as you don’t restrain me in that chair again, I’m ok wherever.”

“Not a problem,” Buck confirmed. “The couch?”

“The one site is already bleeding some, not sure how messy this will be?” Nic lifted her shirt slightly revealing the small trail of blood formed below the newly opened wound from her personal removal. Bucky sighed in disapproval of her prior action.

“How about the kitchen island? It’s a good height to work on.”

Nicolette obeyed Wanda’s request and hopped onto the island to lay down. She lifted her shirt to reveal the remaining three staples. Wanda, standing to Nic’s right, started methodically twisting her fingers inducing her characteristic red electric-like current form around the stitches. With a couple sudden movements, Wanda pulled the first staple out. Instinctively from the pain, Nic flung her right arm into Wanda’s side.

“Oh, shoot, I’m so sorry.”

Wanda gripped her side where Nic struck and looked to Bucky, “want to be useful instead of just mindlessly observing?”

Bucky sighed and walked around the kitchen island, immobilizing Nic’s arms against the counter as she raised them above her head. Their forearms aligned, Buck lightly grasped Nic’s hand, intertwining his metallic fingers between hers. Looking upward toward Bucky, Nic let out a slight smile as Wanda started with the second staple.

“What’s going on here?”

Wanda promptly stopped at Thor’s booming voice, “removing staples. Come over here and hold her feet so I don’t get kicked.”

Thor followed instruction without further questions, allowing Wanda to remove the second.

“That wasn’t nearly as bad as the first.”

“The first one I just yanked, the second I opened the clamped portion first,” Wanda admitted as she swiftly did the same for the third staple. “Hang on, I think I can help seal the portion that you tore open earlier.” Wanda contorted her fingers, manipulating Nic’s abdominal skin with the red wisps, effectively sealing the last fully open portion of the wound. “At least you heal quickly, this is looking very nice already.”

“Why couldn’t you have been here to remove the transmitter – you have a gentler touch than Steve with pliers.” Nic sat up after Bucky released her hands and analyzed her wound. She concluded in a sing-song expression, “looks like it’s shower time!”

Wanda, Thor, and Buck just shook their heads as Nic joyfully made her way back to her room as she thanked the three for their assistance.

***   ***   ***

As the movie concluded, Wanda got up and carried the empty ice cream bowls and spoons to the sink as she joyfully reassured Nic, “see, Disney musicals are great. This is what my childhood was defined by – despite not growing up in America.”

Nic was sitting in the center of the couch with Wanda previously to her left and Bucky to her right. Vision occupied the arm chair to the right of the couch while Thor dwarfed the loveseat to the left of the couch, feet on the armrest closest to the TV, his snores interrupted every other scene.

“I didn’t realize how much we were deprived of in the program – this is glorious!” Nic laughed as the credits began rolling. Her reach for the tablet was interrupted by another one of Thor’s impressively loud snores, prompting her to change her objective and snag his hammer sitting on the floor next to the loveseat. She tossed the hammer onto his chest prompting him to abruptly wake up and assume a fighting stance.

“I think Mjolnir was getting a little tired, she was snoring a bit,” Bucky joked to the god who shook his head as he wandered out of the living area, this time with his hammer.

“Goodnight everyone,” Thor hollered as he was out of sight, nearly to the stairs.

Wanda had finished washing the dishes and made her way over to Vision’s chair, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and whispering in his ear. Vision smiled softly then rose, “see you two in the morning. And don’t stay up quite as late – you both need your sleep, especially you, Nic. Let your body heal.”

Nic sarcastically responded as the two made their way to the stairs, “yes, sir.” Bucky accommodated her sarcastic response with a firm salute.

“Shoot, I hope I didn’t wake him up with the TV last night?” Vision’s comment about her and Bucky staying up late just resonated with her.

“He doesn’t sleep, he just relaxes…while he floats.”

Nicolette laughed as Buck smiled, fully aware his explanation could use improvement. “Does anything in this place make sense?”

Buck shook his head, “nope and I’ve realized the sooner you accept it, the easier it is to live amongst it.”

“So, are they,” Nicolette pointed down the hallway Wanda and Vision just disappeared through, “a thing?”

“They don’t admit it; but, we all think it’s obvious.”

Nic nodded in agreement then paused in hesitation with her next question. “I realize it’s none of my business; but, how would a, uh, physical relationship between them even work?”

Bucky let out a strong laugh and admitted, “I asked Steve the same question.”

“And what did he say?”

“Told me to mind my own business.” Bucky’s disappointment morphed into achievement as he added, “But, I got him to admit it had crossed his mind.” Bucky nudged Nic’s shoulder as her smile fell into a somber expression, “what is it?”

“I have a personal question.” She continued after his affirmative nod, “how do you get all the lies that Hydra told you out of your head?”

Readjusting in his seat at the stark change in mood, Buck responded. “Initially I wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. So, I just asked a lot of questions. Steve is a good go-to for verifying history factoids, both Hydra and non-Hydra. Nat is good for some of the more sensitive, controversial question you may have about the Red Room. And Vision is good for any other analytical question.”

Nic paused, refusing to make eye contact as she slowly began, “and who do I ask if I have questions about you?”

Buck seemed surprised that she would have any questions about him but also surprised that she felt as if she needed to ask permission to ask a question. “You can ask me anything.”

“Ok, well, they told me you’re currently under cryogenic stasis in Siberia.”

Knowing this would require substantial amount of explaining, Bucky took a deep breath. “You said you were familiar with the Triskelion incident, right?” Nic nodded in affirmation to Bucky’s question. “And what about the Vienna bombing and battle over the Sokovia Accords?”

Not sure how to honestly answer his question, she slowly spoke, “I was told the bombing was your mission. But I didn’t hear anything about the fight after?”

“Triskelion was my last mission under Hydra’s trance. I was on the run until I was framed for the Vienna bombing and wound up in Joint Counter Terrorism custody.” Trying to avoid tedious and hurtful details, Buck quickly summarized, “I was reactivated by an insider, escaped, found Steve. And long story short agreed to be put back under cryo in Wakanda, home of an Avengers ally. Stark cracked the code to reverse the mental conditioning so I was moved here, thawed out, reconditioned.” Bucky held up his hands as he concluded, “and here I am.” Prompting for her next question, he smiled, saying, “next.”

Thinking back into what Hydra has told her in the past, Nic recalled. “They also said they permanently erased all of your pre-serum memories.”

“They probably thought that was true. And it was…for a while.” Bucky nodded slowly, recalling the difficulties of when he first woke from cryosleep. “I have Steve to thank for bringing them back. Did they ever use the mental conditioning to wipe your memories?”

“Not that I know of,” Nic sat contemplating if she would even know. “But, I guess they really didn’t need to. I was born at the facility and have never known anything different. I had no memories or experiences to compare their evil to.”

“But you still managed to figure out that what they were doing was wrong.”

Nic’s head fell low, “but not soon enough.”

“You figured it out eventually, though. You’re still young, now you get the rest of your life to live freely.”

“Who knows how long I’ll even live given all the experimental serums they’ve poisoned my body with in attempts at replicating the stuff you and Steve received.”

Bucky, leaning against the armrest, flashed a goofy smile to Nic as he responded, “well, I’m 100 and I’m not keeling over any time soon.”

Shaking her head in response to his ridiculous grin, Nic piped back, “and how many of those years were under cryo?”

“Close to 55.”

“So, your body is in a way only 45.”

Unamused at her mathematical analysis, Bucky delivered a sarcasm laden reply, “thanks.”

“What? I’m not saying you look 45. For that, you have to thank the serum.”

Bucky twisted his lips in contemplation, “I think I could pull off 30, maybe even-”

“Don’t get cocky, now.”

“Well if looks are that deceiving, then how old are you?”

Nic took a deep breath as she recalled her days in R2, “they started my serum on my ninth birthday in an attempt to stunt growth – low doses. Then the real doses – bolus injection every week – started around 22. Their goal was to freeze me around my current age – 27.

Bucky shook his head in disgust, “that’s sickening they started that young. But, a dose a week for five years?”

“Yep, but I stopped the protocol before it finished, so I’m not sure how I’ll age,” Nic shrugged her shoulders as she broke the eye contact she had with him.

Buck continued slowly, not entirely sure how to phrase his question, “Nat said your program was called Winter Widow…”

Nic nodded in affirmation, “modelled after you and Nat. Plus a couple things I think they added for good measure.”

“Like what?”

“This ridiculously rigorous round of immunizations that lasted a little longer than three months. Supposedly, we’re inoculated against every damn disease out there.” Nic let out a light laugh as she faced Buck, “out of everything they gave us, I was sure that was going to be the death of me.” She was surprised to see Buck smiling.

“They got that from the Winter Soldier program. I came back from a mission where I contracted yellow fever. While my heightened immune system fought it off just fine, I managed to infect almost the entire Hydra staff at the Siberia location.” His smile grew a little as he shook his head and continued, “needless to say, the next time I was thawed, I endured that multi-month vaccination party.”

“So, I have you to thank for that.” Nic made sure she loaded to sarcasm on, “appreciate it.”

Buck smiled at her feigned gratitude. “What was the other thing you thought they added? Maybe you can thank me for that also.

“Uh, don’t remember.”

“Well, that was a lie if I’ve ever heard one,” Bucky saw right through her attempts.

“It’s just a really personal question. Being female, I felt it was more applicable to Nat; but, I couldn’t even bring myself to ask her if it came from her program.”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said you could ask me anything. But, if you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t make you.” With his metal hand, he grasped the shin of his left leg, bent between himself and Nic on the couch.

“So, there were two parts to my graduation. One, as you know, was the physical final – fighting you.” Nic noticed Bucky’s attempt at hiding his sudden uncomfortable feeling. “It wasn’t you,” she tilted her head toward him and gave a genuine smile, “I know. But, the second was years later,” Nic took a deep breath, breaking the now impossible eye contact, “when they realized the serum didn’t inhibit…certain development.” Nic caught a glimpse of his confusion which prompted her to elaborate, “a sterilization procedure.”

Bucky’s metal hand formed a fist as he let out a low, “no,” out of sheer disbelief.

“It eliminates the potential of having something more important than a mission arise,” Nic spoke as if trying to convince herself of R2’s rationale.

“Nic, I’m sor-”

“Don’t be,” she interrupted. “You didn’t have any part in the matter.”

Bucky sighed, struggling how to respond. “Well, to answer your question, no, that wasn’t part of the Winter Soldier program. For any of us – even the one female.”

“I guess it’s for the best, though.” Nic gave a forced smile as her eyes began to well up with tears, continuing as to resolve Bucky’s evident confusion. “Thing about how many enemies I’ve made – personally – from missions – and indirectly – just being a part of Hydra and R2. I could never bring a child into that.”

“But, they took that choice from you.”

Nicolette didn’t reply; for she knew if she even opened her mouth, there was a good chance inconsolable sobbing would ensue. She shrugged her shoulders and looked quickly to Bucky who’s defeated expression prompted a single tear to fall down her cheek.

In one swift motion, Bucky reached forward and pulled Nicolette into a warm hug. With her arms tucked under her chin against his chest, she let out involuntary sobs.  Her legs partially extended toward the left side of the couch, she lay in his protective embrace. Pulling her closer to his chest as if trying to fend off the evils of her past, Buck extended his left leg behind her, and began stroking her back. The music from the movie credits in the background didn’t even interrupt the methodic beating of Bucky’s heart that willed Nic to slowly calm. The more his heart rate slowed as a result of his own frustrations departing, the more tranquil she became.

She tilted her now dry eyes upward and let out a pitiful, “thank you.”

Bucky gave her a light squeeze in return. “How about we call it a night?”

“I was hoping to wait until Nat got back.”

“What, to make sure they get back alright?”

Nic, knowing that wasn’t the true reason, let out an unconvincing, “yeah.”

Evidently not buying her fib, he pried, “or to make sure she’s here given you have a nightmare?”

Nic was caught. “Yes. I didn’t want to have to ask you again.”

A warm smile forms across his face as he genuinely responds, “come on. Let’s get some sleep.”

Reluctantly leaving his warm embrace, she climbed off the couch and made her way to her room with Bucky in tow. Quickly climbing under the covers to avoid the cool air longer than necessary, she rolled to face Bucky who was situating on the adjacent pillow. The familiar sinking of the mattress and radiant warmth from last night provided the same feeling of protection, one that made her comfortable giving in to the lingering exhaustion.

“Goodnight, James.”

Bucky looked into her eyes and smiled, “Goodnight, doll.”

His choice of term of endearment not only prompted a smile to form but kindled a warmth in Nic’s core. Buck really did care about her; genuinely, too. Not for charity’s sake. Had there been any reservations regarding whether or not she could trust him, those had long departed. Without further hesitation, Nic let her eyes softly close and as the smile slightly faded, she happily let sleep consume her.


	11. Reliving the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potential Trigger: descriptions of disturbing/graphic violence

Having fully vetted both safe houses that posed as potential threats to find no such evidence, Sam, Tony, Steve, and Nat returned to the compound.

“I can’t keep going out with you kids if we always get back this late,” Tony was surprised at the kitchen clock’s reading of 1:58 A.M.

Sam yawned and made is way to the stairs leading upstairs where the guest room he was currently occupying was, “I’m gonna have to agree with Old Man over here.” Tony shook his head at the age reference that was too-often used to reference himself.

“Just promise you’ll take a shower before you hit the sheets – I don’t want that foul assault on my nose tomorrow, too.” Natasha walked off to her room in the East wing smirking as she added, “night, boys.”

“No one forget the debriefing tomorrow morning – 10 A.M.” Steve hollered as the other three had already nearly retreated to their respective sleeping quarters. After hearing a communal groan indicating they had in fact heard the appointment time, he made his way down the west hall, stopping to peek in Bucky’s room as he routinely did. His door was wide open, which was unusual, prompting Steve to walk in to see an empty bed. He made his way to the East wing and knocked on Nat’s door, “Nat, did you see Buck downstairs?” Steve knew he could find his friend at obscure hours punching a bag in the training room given he was awoken by a nightmare.

With the shower already started in her bathroom, Nat answered the door only wrapped in a towel, “no, all the lights were off downstairs, why?”

Steve quickly looks both ways down the hallway in a concerned fashion, “you’re not being too discrete, m’lady.”

“It’s only a matter of time before someone figures us out,” Natasha laid on a seductive smile as she continued, “plus, everyone’s in their room, asleep or nearly.”

Steve smiled and nodded his head knowing she was right about the first part while he responded to the second, “everyone but Buck.”

“Would he go for a run this late?”

“He has, but never alone.”

That struck a chord in Natasha who exited her room with a contemplative look. She peaked in Nic’s room next door and smiled toward Steve, cocking her head toward the now open door. Steve walked over and hesitantly peered in, seeing Buck lying peacefully next to Nic, both sound asleep. “Looks like we’re not the only ones who are keeping a secret,” Nat walked back into her room with Steve following.

“Or I wasn’t here for one of his nightmares,” Steve’s head sunk low at the thought of not being there when his best friend was at his most vulnerable. “You know he struggles opening up to people, especially like that,” he added, referencing Nat’s insinuation that there was a physical relationship brewing between Nic and Buck.

“True – took him how long to even speak to me once he moved in,” she shook her head remembering the months it took for Bucky to warm up to living at the compound. “But,” she slightly shrugged her shoulders, “there’s something about her that made a light turn on in him, though.”

“Yeah,” Steve stared off, away from Natasha as if he had been fed a profound concept, “I guess you’re right.” He ended with a smile as he began closing Natasha’s door, “goodnight.”

With a soft smile, Natasha walked into her bathroom to shower before bed as Steve closed his door, retreating to the west hall to do likewise.

***   ***   ***

“Guys, either finish your food or bring it with you. In the conference room in 15 minutes.” Tony gave an exaggerated salute to Steve’s command. Natasha was catching Wanda up on the mission, both ladies still in sweats drinking coffee. Steve made his way upstairs to ensure Sam was going to be remotely prepared for the pending meeting, “15, guys!”

“We heard the first time, Cap!”

Nic stirred slightly, hearing Nat’s voice holler to Steve. Stretching, Nicolette realized her right arm was not only thoroughly numb but was draped over Bucky’s chest. She moved it as quickly as her lack of sensation allowed, and quickly looked to her right, ensuring he wasn’t bothered by her jerking movements. His long dark brown hair was haphazardly scattered over her pillow and partially covering his face that donned a peaceful expression.

Her gaze was interrupted by an odd sensation on her right leg which was draped over his torso; Buck’s metal hand that was firmly gripping her upper thigh through the sheet was involuntarily twitching. Desperately in need to using the bathroom, Nic tried to ever so slightly free her leg from his sturdy grip to no avail.

“James,” she whispered eliciting no response.

“James,” she spoke louder, giving a slight nudge in his rib cage.

Buck inhaled sharply, blinking his eyes open and licking his lips. He groggily looked left toward Nic with a smile.

“Can I have my leg back? I’m dying to pee.”

Not understanding her question, Bucky looked downward and saw his tight metallic grip on her sheets-covered thigh. He promptly released with an, “oh, sorry.”

Nic slid out of bed and ran to the restroom as she updated him, “I heard Nat in the kitchen. I’m going to make sure they all made it back alright.”

“I’ll be right behind you for the coffee,” Bucky mumbled as he rolled over toward the opening bathroom door, covering his face with the pillow.

Raising her eyebrows with a smile of disbelief, Nic sarcastically whispered, “I’m sure,” and gently closed the door as she exited the room.

Entering the kitchen, Nic saw Natasha and Wanda walking down the south hall toward the conference room. Nic caught them before they were out of earshot, “hey, Nat! Everyone make it back okay, right?”

Laughing at her elevated level of concern, Natasha responded, “we may not all be super humans, but we are still good at our jobs.”

“I know. It’s just this mission was only because of me and if someone got hurt because of it,” Nic paused and shrugged her shoulders, not wanting to finish her thought out loud.

“No hiccups – very easy in and out. We actually retrieved some information on the brainwashing you and Barnes went through. Speaking of,” Natasha walked closer to Nic, changing her tone from simply debriefing to a suspicious edge, “you and Barnes.” She shifted her gaze toward Nic’s room just enough for Nic to understand.

Wanda took a step closer and widened her eyes in surprise as she understood Nat’s insinuation, letting out a soft, “did I miss something?”

Her heart beating faster, although she really wasn’t sure why, Nic spoke succinctly, “I, uh, had a nightmare last night.” Given Wanda and Nic were both highly familiar with Bucky’s similar nightmares, they immediately understood and were filled with guilt for insinuating anything more.

With impeccable timing, Buck rounded the corner from the east hall into the kitchen and froze as if a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar as the three ladies spun around in response to his not so subtle footsteps. “Um, I was just-” he vaguely pointed behind him, struggling with finding an appropriate explanation, “coming from-”

“They know,” Nic began. “I told them about my nightmare.” Nic wasn’t entire sure why she told the half-fib; she just wasn’t sure how to explain the comfort Bucky gave her without eliciting suspicion of something more.

Bucky nodded, going along with the not entirely truthful story, as he sauntered to the coffee machine and blindly began pressing buttons to begin the brew.

“I’m already a couple minutes late to the debriefing; but, you two don’t stray too far.” Natasha pointed between Bucky and Nic, “we gathered some info on the brainwashing.”

As Nat and Wanda made her way to the conference room, Nic’s gaze fell upon Bucky who was staring at a full cup of coffee, post-brew. “You okay?”

He shook his head, breaking his empty stare and added a scoop of sugar to his coffee. “Yeah, just thinking about what information they have on the brainw- mental conditioning.” He hated using the term brainwashing; while it more aptly defined Hydra’s actions compared to mental conditioning, Bucky felt as if using the later term, it was a less permanent, less harsh torture. It allowed him to more easily shrug off his past as opposed to reliving those memories in their strongest form.

***   ***   ***

“Ms. Dokorevich and Mr. Barnes, please report to the conference room.” Nic felt her heart skip a beat upon hearing FRIDAY’s friendly voice utter her foreign last name. Only those associated with the Program referred to her utilizing her last name; first names were too informal, too personal. Making her way down the south hall, Nic looked around, trying to identify the conference room as she had never actually made it to this wing of the compound.

“Dokorevich?” The surprisingly perfect pronunciation prompted her to increase her guard as she spun around to see Bucky, who continued lightheartedly, “is that you?”

Letting out a sigh of relief, she responded, “yeah. Only time I would hear that name is from _them_.”

“For me it was soldat.”

Recognizing the Russian for “soldier,” Nicolette smiled, “at least it’s not your name – something that will always follow you.” Purposefully changing the subject, Nic continued, “where is this conference room anyway?”

He pointed to one of the many frosted glass doors in the hallway, “FRIDAY?”

The Scottish voice promptly responded, “yes, Mr. Barnes?”

“No need for the formalities,” Bucky smiled to Nic as he grasped the handle of the door, waiting for confirmation prior to entering.

“Yes, sir. I will now refer to you two as James and Nicolette.”

Nic smiled and shook her head as Buck shrugged his shoulders, “it’s a start.” The two entered the conference room to see Steve and Nat seated at a large 10-person round table in front of a large descended projection screen.

“Nat told you two that we found information regarding the mental conditioning, right?”

Bucky nodded with a somber expression; Nic responded to Steve with a faint, “yes.”

“Here, sit down,” Steve gestured to two swivel chairs across the circle from him and Nat. Buck and Nic hesitantly sat down, both thinking the worst.

“While looking through all the data stored on the safe house server, we ran across a highly-encrypted folder that had a lot of documents pertaining to Hydra’s mental conditioning.” Steve slowed as he continued, “we were looking through some of the videos and reports until we came across some of yours.” He paused, unsure how best to continue, as Nat picked up where Steve had left off.

“While we will fully vet all the acquired information, we figured you two have the right to see what those specific documents are.” Nat was trying desperately to read Bucky and Nic’s expressions, “given you two want to know what’s on here?” She waved a small flash drive, still deciphering the two across the table from her.

“Absolutely,” Nic chimed in, making an adamant decision.

“Nic, I’ve seen some of the videos they had of my past – they’re painful to watch,” Bucky sunk his face into his hands.

Deliberating mentally whether she was ready for that type of visual, Nic concluded, “but, this information could help in removing all the junk they put in.”

“We’ll go through the file and if there’s anything either of you two are not ready for, we’ll pass.”

Bucky nodded in agreement to Natasha’s offer prompting her to slip the small drive into its respective port on the table’s edge. The lights dimmed on command as the projection lit up, revealing a plethora of discretely labelled folders.

By touching a glass portion of the table, Nat prompted the computer to open the folder titled “Black Files.” The screen then displayed a new series of subfolders, numerically labelled 1 through 9. Natasha looked towards Nic and Buck, “who would like to go first?”

“Is that a folder for each person who underwent the mental conditioning?” Nat nodded in affirmation in response to Nic’s question. Attempting to account for the 9 folders on the screen, she was aware of herself, her two classmates, Bucky, and the other Winter Soldiers from the early 90’s. “How many Winter Soldiers were there?”

“Six, including me,” Bucky responded, evidently mentally tabulating the same information.

“Can we start with the others’ folders first?” Nic was nervous to see what was enclosed in her folder; but, didn’t want to make Bucky view his first.

Nat clicked on “2” which littered the screen various documents and two videos playing next to each other simultaneously. One video was of the serum injection administration which evidently put the male patient, number 2, in sufficient pain. The second video was a sparring session with the original masked Winter Soldier, easily identified by the left metal arm; 2 easily threw his opponent into the wrought iron cell bars which made Nic flinch, knowing that was Bucky. The profile picture in the top right of the projector’s screen had “EXECUTED 6/10/16” in red stamped across his face.

The folder minimized as “3” opened. The same general layout as the previous folder was revealed – two primary videos playing in the midst of miscellaneous documentation and the same red script over a man’s face in the top right corner. Nat prompted the next three successive folders to reveal similar information, concluding, “these five were killed by Helmut Zemo while in cryostasis; he is still being held by the Joint Terror Commission at an _undisclosed_ location – even though we know where that is.” She closed out of the sixth folder and hesitated before opening 7. “Nic, I believe the next is one of your classmates. Ready?”

Nic simply nodded, not sure what to find.

The top right corner identified number 7 as one of the girls from Nic’s class, barely 12 years old in the provided photo. The iconic red letters over her young face reading EXECUTED 3/12/2003. Her file was substantially more dense with informative documents with titles ranging from “Medical Records” to “Serum Protocol” and “Fight Habits.” Nat clicked on various documents, skimming through for valuable information.

“Could that Protocol help in the reversal of the mental conditioning?” Nic inquired about the document Nat had just skimmed through.

“Yes, definitely. We’ll see if your folder has the protocol tailored to you, though,” Nat responded as she scrolled further down to video footage of a couple missions then further to a large black box without any additional information. “Let’s see what we have here.” Nat hovered the cursor over the emptiness which prompted a play symbol to form; clicking it only resulted in visual static, as if the video was no longer accessible.

“That’s odd,” Steve spoke what they were all thinking, “we’ll have to get Tony to figure it out later.”

Giving up her efforts, Nat opened folder 8. The same dense set up as the previous folder lie on the screen with a similar photo of a young girl with the same red letters and date plastered across. Nat scrolled to the bottom only to find the same empty video field as before. “Ok, Nic, moving on to yours.”

Nic readjusted herself in her chair and took a deep breath, not entirely sure why she was so nervous, “alright, let’s see it.”

9\. Holding her breath, Nic was very surprised to see her photo – one from when she was about 23, evidently right after they had started the bolus serum injections. She hardly recognized herself with hollowed cheeks due to her recently increased metabolism she wasn’t adequately prepared for at the time and dark circles under her eyes indicative of the many sleepless nights the painful injections caused. Over her photo were those same red letters, this time reading, UNCONFIRMED EXECUTION.

Nat opened the document titled “Serum Protocol” and skimmed as she scrolled through which contained numerous photos at various stages of the injections: first injection at 9 years, after graduation at 13 years, after the procedure at 16 years, and the same photo from the initial page at age 23 but showing her full body in shorts and a sports bra. The bony prominences of Nic’s shoulders and her ribs were clearly visible as every ounce of fat was gone from her body which had resorted to degrading musculature to survive. Nat let out an audible swallow, evidently finding it difficult to view those images, as she quickly scrolled further down the document.

A video automatically began playing as she reached the end of the opened page. “Dokorevich,” the male in the white coat in the video began as the video field followed him to a chair that was all too familiar. A healthier Nicolette around age 25 could be seen nodding in response to the doctor. A tech of some sort reached toward Nicolette, allowing her to clamp down onto the offered mouth guard. Watching this video made Nic’s heartrate increase tremendously as she white knuckled the arm rests on her chair. After an audible command from the doctor, the tech slightly reclined Nicolette’s chair and applied the restraints as a headpiece lowered, covering half of her face and scalp. Nic let out a slight gasp out of anticipation prompting Bucky to discreetly slide his metal fingers within her clenched hand. While she appreciated the gesture, she held her breath, knowing nothing could prepare any of them for the blood curdling scream that came from her small frame in the video.

Nat immediately minimized the document; leaving a lingering echo of Nic’s screams in everyone’s ears despite the silence in the room. “There was a lot of information that will help in the reversal,” Nat was trying desperately to break the lingering effects of the video as she continued scrolling. Short snippets of videos from various missions or debriefings were seen as they continued to read through sporadic documents, scouring her file for any further information that could be useful. Lastly, Nat found the same black square at the bottom of Nic’s file. “Hmm,” she softly uttered, deciding to click play.

The video began, with a recorded year of 2003, focused on a small girl, maybe 4-foot-10, not even 100 pounds. “That’s me,” Nic slowly began as the video field slowly panned to the right, quickly passing a small mass in the back of the room Nic remembered to be the bodies of her classmates. “Oh, god,” Nic exclaimed as her free hand covered her mouth, knowing what the video was about to reveal. The fully masked Winter Soldier stood opposite from her childhood frame, stretching his arms as if warming up for the real fight. Panning out, the video showed the tiny Nicolette slowly walking toward her opponent, staring intently at the seemingly ignored mound of bodies to her left. The Winter Soldier was walking forward as well; their height and weight difference a stark contrast. Little Nicolette’s hands arose in front of her body, not as if to fight but as if to surrender; ignoring all pleas, the Winter Soldier grabbed both wrists and thrusts her backwards, landing harshly on the ground. A harsh woman’s voice could be heard in the background chastising the small child.

An undefinable noise escaped Bucky’s mouth as his head sank low and a deep voice emitted from his mouth, “can you skip ahead?”

Nat quickly spun around and upon realizing the detrimental effect this had on Buck, obeyed, skipping through the 9 minutes of grappling and hand-to-hand combat. Little Nicolette had managed to duck behind the Winter Soldier and slip through his legs; she firmly wrapped her hands around his neck and with all her weight and the assistance of gravity flipped him, feet over head, onto his back. Easily removing the supportive mask, she gained the leverage to position herself to break his neck; Nic began yelling as she began applying substantial torque as the Winter Soldier struggled to make her release.

“Hvatit!” The off-screen lady’s voice rang loud prompting young Nicolette dismounted her opponent as he fell to the floor. The lady and two other guards ran over to the Winter Soldier as he began to stir, suddenly confused about his current whereabouts. One of the guards plunged a syringe into his neck causing his body to once again go limp right as the video feed cut out.

In utter silence, Nat minimized the entire folder and hovered the cursor over folder 1. She looked hesitantly toward Steve who slightly shook his head then spoke, “Buck, want us to just archive this?”

Buck nodded his head in affirmation as he released Nic’s hand, ashamed of his actions from the past, sat in silence with eyes closed.

“Want to talk or need some space, Buck?”

Succinctly responding to Steve’s questions, Bucky uttered a deep growl, “space.”

Respecting his wishes, Natasha and Steve both silently got up from their seats and made their way out the door with the flash drive. Nic, not sure if she was expected to leave as well, slowly rose from her chair and took a step toward the door, immediately stopped by the familiar cold sensation of Bucky’s metallic hand.

“Nic,” he slowly began, still seated, with reddening apology-filled eyes, “I’m sorry.” He ended in a broken whisper, almost unable to even get the words out, knowing they didn’t sufficiently exhibit how he truly felt as his head sunk back.

Nic gently placed her left hand along his rigid clenched jaw line, ever so slightly tilting his gaze back toward her, “I know it wasn’t you.” Bucky closed his eyes upon hearing the overused phrase as he placed his right hand over her left wrist as she continued, “we both did and went through some gut-wrenching stuff in the past. How can we enjoy the present if we’re too focused on all that?” Nic’s slight smile was mirrored by Bucky’s forced one.

She took a step forward, stood between his knees and pulled him into a tight hug. Still seated, Bucky wrapped his arms firmly around Nic’s hips, resting his head on her chest. Nic nuzzled the side of her face against the top of his head as she intertwined the fingers of her left hand into his hair and wrapped her right arm around his upper back.

“Are there any good hiding places in this compound – where you won’t be interrupted when you need time and space?”

Bucky leaned back a little, arms lightly wrapped around Nic, “I’ve found a couple.” He tilted his head toward the door prompting Nic to follow him down the hall and down many flights of a back stairwell.

***   ***   ***

Bucky led Nicolette into a large pitch black room she had never seen before. He immediately regretted not catching the door as the remnants of light were extinguished upon its closure.

“Nic?” He hissed, vaguely groping through the darkness to ensure she didn’t wander too far.

“Getting the switch,” her voice directly to his left where he knew the switch to be. Before she flicked the switch, she teased, “can’t see?”

Unsure about the obvious question, Buck responded, “uh, no. Happens when there’s no light. Just watch for the holes in the ground”

“My serum enhanced my vision at night,” the soft lights allowed Bucky’s eyes to rapidly adjust as Nicolette continued, “gives me a leg up in fights. Yours?”

Offended that he was simply the older model of a newer toy, he jabbed, “no.”

Nic was sure to load on the sarcasm, “pity. So, all it does is allow you to taste layers of that stolen ice cream the rest of us cannot?”

“Alright, smart ass,” he huffed out as he began walking toward what appeared to be one of four oblong holes in the floor. The large rectangular room was much larger than Nic had anticipated, spanning around 60-by-20 feet. “These ice baths are rarely used anymore,” Buck sat down on the side of one of the in-ground tubs, swinging his feet into the dark grey basin that matched the grey tiled floor. With the dim lights and the dark blue ceiling and walls, the room remained a comfortable level of darkness with just enough lighting to satisfy the senses but not so much to distract from letting one’s mind retreat.

Bucky held out a hand to help Nic climb into the empty grey tub then positioned himself opposite of her, both leaning against their respective sloped ends. The tub was narrow, barely accommodating Bucky’s broad shoulders but easily dwarfing Nicolette. Fully extending her legs to the right of his, Nic’s feet only spanned to his lower thigh while his made it all the way to her left hip. Nic let her head fall back against the side of the basin as the tub was deep enough for her entire body to be consumed. The two sat there in a long grateful silence, mulling over the information they had just been given.

Nic couldn’t stop running those images of her dilapidated frame on repeat in her head. Or her tiny frame being forced to battle the Winter Soldier, with her only friends hunched in the corner of the room, dead. She couldn’t understand how she had not seen the vile and wrongful nature of the Program until recently. How could she _not_ see it before? Did they have that much control of her mind? She felt tears begin to well up behind closed eyes and willed them to not shed for she was done letting Hydra instill fear and remorse in her. Nic abruptly opened her eyes to see Bucky’s head tilted back over the edge of the grey tub, eyes firmly shut in deep contemplation.

“I want to start the reconditioning.”

Startled by her firm declaration, Bucky looked forward into her determined gaze, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? I’m ready to be in control.”

“It’s a brutal process.”

“And _not_ being in control of your own mind _isn’t_?”

Shaking his head and fully understanding where she was coming from, Buck stumbled over his words, “It just takes a lot out of you.” He jerked his head back against the basin and firmly shut his eyes and groaned through gritted teeth, “physically and mentally.”

“And I can’t handle it?” Nic’s confusion morphed to utter offense.

His eyes opened wide as he shouted, “ _I_ can’t!”

Nic just stared back in utter confusion; what did her reconditioning have to do with his tolerance?

Responding to her unspoken questions, Buck attempted to explain his seemingly selfish outburst. “Having done the things I have done to you in the past,” he clenched his jaw, wincing at reliving the event of the graduation video. “I feel like I owe you something in a way. And having gone through the conditioning – knowing the pain it causes – I don’t want you do go through that.” Realizing his rationale may not be making much sense, he continued, “I want to protect you from that kind of pain – you don’t deserve to go through that.”

Understanding his intentions were pure, Nic rationalized with him. “I imagine you also know the desperation I have to control myself fully – to get them out of my head for good.”

“I do,” Buck let out an audible sigh, feeling selfish for his outburst.

“Plus, since my conditioning wasn’t complete, maybe it’ll be easier to remove,” Nic naively offered.

“Don’t count on it.”

“Hey, if you can do it I can,” Nic shot Bucky a playful smile as he returned the gesture, glad the mood was lightening.

“Can I be there?”

Surprised that he would want any part in the activation words again, Nic questioned, “like in the room? For the reconditioning?”

Buck simply nodded.

With a contemplative look, Nic half sarcastically negotiated. “As long as I can be there when Tony tinkers with the faulty wiring of Tin Man over here.” She cocked her foot to the side, nudging his metal arm, and giving a cocky smile.

Buck shook his head and let out a light laugh, “alright.” He reached an arm across the tub to help Nic to her feet and out of the tub, “let’s go talk Tony into this.”

The two began walking to the door, hitting the lights on the way out, “thanks, James.”

“Anytime, doll.”

And there it was; that term of endearment that he reserved exclusively for Nic. That made her smile.


	12. Reconditioning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold on; we're going on a bumpy (read: angsty) ride. I promise the next chapter will have some happy vibes.

“Guys.” The stern voice made both Bucky and Nicolette snap upright from their slumber. Looking forward with wide eyes, they identified Steve, who doesn’t usually make it a habit to barge into people’s rooms unannounced.

“We have a visitor – get dressed quick.”

His abrupt manner greatly alarmed Buck who quickly crawled out of bed, “who?”

“Fury.”

Buck quickly shuffled into Nic’s bathroom as Steve left, closing the door behind him, and Nic rolled out of bed herself, snagging some clothes to change into as soon as Buck was done in the restroom.

“Who’s Fury?”

“The man we all report to,” Bucky hollered from the bathroom, finishing and opening the door to continue, “that guy has eyes everywhere – he probably found out about…you.”

Nic was worried, as evidenced by her hastening heartrate; but, she wasn’t sure if she should be nervous. She walked past Buck into the bathroom and shut the door behind her as she began, “you say that like it’s a bad thing?”

“Well, we’re hiding a Russian assassin at our compound.”

Nic, now changing out of her pajamas, couldn’t help but agree looking at it from that perspective, “when you say it that way.” Brushing her teeth, she opened the door and mumbled through toothpaste, “so, what should I do?”

“I’m assuming he’s going to want a debriefing on…everything pertaining to you. He’ll probably want your side of it all, too.”

Nic nodded her head in agreement, then stopped and turned to Bucky with a look of horror. “Wait, everything?” He nodded, prompting her to elaborate, “even trying to kill Nat? And my activation?” Her current look of guilt morphed into embarrassment, “even you being here,” she pointed to her bed.

“Yes. When I first moved in, he knew about my nightmares and knew Steve was the only one who could comfort me. Fury is non-judgmental.” He walked into the bathroom and put his hands on Nic’s shoulders, the toothbrush still hanging from her mouth, “it’ll be okay, just be honest.”

She slumped her head against his chest and let out a soft, “mhm.”

“Whoa, toothpaste is not meant for sharing,” Bucky jokingly huffed at Nic who had accidentally let a drop fall onto his t-shirt. She laughed and spit the remainder out, rinsing her mouth.

“Well, I was assuming you weren’t wearing _that_ to the meeting,” Nic looked him up and down sarcastically. She reached out and wiped off the toothpaste residue with her hand towel, giving him a slight smile.

“Oh, _thanks_.” With a smile, Buck turned to the door, “wait for me or Nat before you go in, okay?”

Nic, finished getting ready, peaked into Nat’s room before heading to the kitchen; empty. She made her way to the communal area, not readily finding anyone until she heard a relieving voice.

“There you are.” Nic spun around to see Nat walking in from the south hallway as she continued, “Steve told you about our guest?” Nic quietly nodded, still unsure of the whole situation. “Don’t worry, we’re here for you.”

“Is everyone already there?”

“Sam and Thor should be there any minute; and I came to make sure you and Barnes hadn’t fallen back asleep.”

Nic took a sharp breath, “does everyone know he was…in my room?”

“Oh, no,” she immediately understood Nic’s concern, “that’s not business for me or Steve to tell.”

“I just don’t want people to get the wrong idea.” Nicolette’s nightmares hadn’t prompted Bucky to stay in her room like they gave the impression of; however, he did give her a sense of protection that allowed her to have the most restful night’s sleep she had ever experienced.

“We understand.” Nat flashed her signature smile to Nic as Bucky emerged from the west hall and the three began walking to the conference room.

Directly across from the door, at the far side of the conference table sat two people Nic didn’t recognize – a man with an eye patch and a woman to his right. On the right side of the large table, next to the unknown man sat Steve, Sam, and Thor. To the left side of the table, to the woman’s right, was Tony, Wanda, and Vision. Everyone silenced as the three walked in.

“Ms. Dokorevich?” The man spoke harshly as he stood, “I’m Colonel Fury, the head of the Avengers Initiative,” he then gestured toward the woman sitting next to him, “and this is Agent Hill – she’s the second in command here.” He sat back down, comfortably adjusting in his chair, “and we have a few questions. Sit.”

Nat pulled out one of the two remaining chairs and motioned for Nic to sit down as she too the last one. Bucky casually leaned against the door behind the two ladies.

“Call me Nic, please.” She softly spoke, surprising even herself at the barely audible faint voice that came from her mouth.

“Okay, Nic.” Fury began, tossing a folder full of papers into the center of the table. “We know you are from a branch of the Russian KGB that teamed up with Hydra. You could say the history we have with Hydra is,” he paused, for dramatic effect or attempting to find the right word Nic did not know, “sour.” Nic took a gulp and simply nodded her head not sure if she was being accused of anything. “We know you came here to eliminate one of us,” Fury made an evident shift of his glance to Natasha. “And we know everyone here has chosen to voluntarily keep you here,” his accusatory gaze shifted between each member of the Avengers now, “and even organize a covert mission on your behalf.”

Steve was the first to speak up in her defense which surprised Nic, “we can logically explain everything.”

“I’m counting on that, Captain,” Fury spat back, distinctly emphasizing both syllables of the final word. “We need a full debriefing, starting with how you got here.” His gaze fell on Nic with a physical weight.

Mentally struggling between being honest and not throwing Tony under the bus, Nic’s eyes shot toward Tony who shook his head and came clean to Fury about inadvertently letting her in. Nic then took the opportunity to explain her assignment from the Program to the group in full detail. She then elaborated on her training, the new Red Room known as R2, her doubts about the Program, the lies they fed her, and the mental conditioning and means of activation. Steve then took over with narrating the struggle with the activation words over the intercom with Tony occasionally interjecting to give details regarding the technological aspect of the hacking. Even Vision and Thor spoke up at one point, emphasizing the importance of her wielding the Mjolnir. Natasha then took over, quickly summarizing their rationale for the impromptu mission and their findings.

“This has all the files we recovered from the safe house including the location of the remaining safe house Nic provided us with and the serum protocols for both.” She gestured toward Nic and Buck who took in a sharp breath simultaneously in recollection of the videos. Nat concluded as she tossed the flash drive to Fury, “and now you’re all caught up.”

“So, what are your grand plans, now?” Fury took the drive and looked between all the Avengers and Nic, waiting for anyone to respond.

“We’re going to start her mental reconditioning.” Everyone looked to Tony, shocked at his proposition. Even Nic and Bucky were surprised as Stark had yet to actually agree to the reconditioning when they last spoke with him.

“The committee will want to keep her under close watch during the reconditioning – preferably in their facility in DC.”

Bucky took a step forward and placed his hand on the back of Nic’s chair in a protective manner. Nat, Tony, and Steve all sat up straight in response to Bucky’s alarm.

“But,” Fury sharply began, halting everyone’s defensive advances. “When I speak with the committee, I would be willing to stall their anticipation of Nic’s visit under two contingencies. One, you all don’t make it a habit of keeping information of this magnitude from me. Two, you keep me updated on her progress.” A collective sigh was heard from most of the group as Fury continued toward Stark, “they’re not going to be as generous time-wise as they were with Barnes.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Tony confirmed nonchalantly, “I’ve thoroughly analyzed her serum protocol and medical records. Compared to Barnes, while she endured _many_ more serum injections, she only received a fraction of the mental conditioning.” Realizing only Vision understood his rationale, Tony elaborated, "so, hers should be much faster and simpler.”

Bucky let out an audible sigh of relief, elated Nic wouldn’t have to endure the same duration of physical and mental pain he did.

Fury and Hill stood up to escort themselves from the room, “we will be making periodic unannounced visits. I’ll hold the council off as long as I can; but, you all know the leash they have on the Avengers maintains its slack due to transparency.”

Nic stood up and vigorously shook Fury’s hesitant hand, “thank you for giving me a chance.”

“Thank all the people around you. If it wasn’t for them, you’d be in a holding cell.”

“That’s as close to a ‘you’re welcome’ as you’ll ever get from him,” Ms. Hill spoke lightheartedly as she followed Fury out the conference room. Nat, Steve, Thor, and Vision followed to see Fury and Hill off the compound premises as Sam, Nic, Bucky, Tony and Wanda remained in the conference room.

“Can we start the reconditioning,” Nic hopefully began, facing Tony, “like, now?”

Shocked, Sam and Bucky began uttering variations of their disagreement to the idea.

Tony, however, had a different idea, “well, it’s all ready. Why not?”

“Right now?” Wanda was surprised but seemed to overall approve.

“I don’t know,” Bucky began. Nic abruptly spun, locking eye contact with him, as much as she could given their height difference.

“Please,” she mouthed only for Bucky to see. He regretfully gave into her plea.

***   ***   ***

Within no time, Nic was restrained within the metal of the vibranium chair as Tony clicked vigorously on the tablet assigned to that training room. Sam and Wanda were curiously observing from outside the glass door.

“So, just in case, what’s her deactivation word?”

Bucky responded to Tony’s conservative question, “Sputnik.”

“At least the accent doesn’t matter,” Nic half laughed at Tony’s persistent attempt at repeating the deactivation word back to Bucky in thoroughly butchered Russian.

“Yours is more particular than his was,” Tony began, gesturing to Bucky. “So, it very well may be important. And I don’t want to all of a sudden realize pronunciation is important as you’re trying to decapitate me.”

Nic formed a slight frown at the thought of hurting any of them again. “Okay, so, are you just going to start blabbering in Russian or what?”

“No, he has this whole,” Bucky, referring to Tony, waved his hands vaguely in the air, “charade that-”

“Hers is more simplistic. They didn’t have to associate the conditioning with the violence like yours. Therefore, we just need to desensitize her to the activation words.” Tony looked between Bucky and Nic, “so, yes; I am.”

Bucky suddenly became very uncomfortable not knowing what to expect with her reconditioning, “ready?”

In an attempt to exhibit confidence she didn’t have, Nic smiled toward Buck, cockily responding, “are you?”

Tony held open the door and signaled for Bucky to leave the training room to which he promptly responded, “I’m staying.”

Hesitantly looking at him, Tony questioned, “you sure? I can’t have two activated assassins at my throat.”

Hearing the conversation through the open door, Wanda chimed in, seeing that Bucky really didn’t want to leave, “I’ll also be in here. Anything goes south and I’ll restrain you, no problem.”

Responding to Wanda’s smile, Bucky chirped back, “don’t sound too excited about it.”

“Ok, guys. Can we get the show on the road?” Nicolette’s nerves were getting the best of her.

Tony locked the door, snagged the tablet and stood in front of Nic. Bucky was standing a couple feet from Nic’s right and Wanda was in the corner behind Tony, ready to intervene as necessary.

Nic nodded her head, prompting Tony to begin reading the activation words in strained Russian keeping a close eye on any reaction from Nicolette.

“Zhelaniye.”

No response.

“Rzhavyy.”

Nothing.

“Semnadtsat’.”

Nic glanced toward Bucky and shook her head in denial of any sensation; Bucky stared back in confusion.

“Rassvet.”

Bucky took a deep breath, feeling his heartrate increase in unwarranted anticipation of the activation words, “how’re her vitals?”

Tony tapped the screen of the tablet, “utterly normal.”

Wanda stepped forward, “are those the right words?”

Offended she would even ask, Tony piped back, “uh, yes.” He took a deep breath then faced Bucky, “but not the right pronunciation.”

Realizing Tony was insinuating he should say the words given his Russian was authentic, Bucky shook his head and through a clenched jaw, grunted, “no.”

Nicolette, with as much sincerity as she could muster, pleaded loudly, “please!”

“I swore to myself I would never let those words leave my mouth.” His tone was harsh, but also a sound of desperation.

“Then get Nat,” Wanda offered. “FRIDAY, where is she?”

The familiar voice filled the small room, “she is in a meeting with Director Fury. Would you like me to intervene?”

“No!” Wanda, Tony, and Nic all uttered simultaneously out of fear of alerting Fury of their problem.

“James, please. I’m begging you; I want this out of my head. I _need_ this.” Bucky’s expression softened as he heard Nic’s pleas. He nodded his head slightly and took a deep breath.

“Zhelaniye.”

Her muscles began to tense in the anticipation of her mental response to the perfect Russian utterance. She closed her eyes, already trying to put up a fight, only to see the video of herself restrained in the R2 mental conditioning, screaming and writhing in pain. They weren’t entirely the same, they were covered in red – thoroughly saturated.

“Rzhavyy.”

Nic opens her eyes abruptly revealing pupils that quickly dilated and slowly begin constricting as she fights the involuntary physical response. She grits her teeth together, swallows and forces control over the situation as her pupils return to a normal range. Bucky waits a while before even considering saying the third activation word by memory.

“Semnadtsat.”

Pupils dilating to even larger than before. The pressure is building up in her chest as the red hazy memories flood her line of vision; blurring reality with lies. Nic struggles to maintain a silent stare, hiding her internal battle to ensure they let her continue her reconditioning. Nic felt the familiar electrocution course through her small frame despite not having been hooked up to that torturous device.

“Rassvet.”

The sensation caused by a repeated feeling of her imagined electrocution accompanied with her sight compromised – only seeing red images of Madame B, her friends’ corpses, Hydra soldiers, every victim’s body. She forcefully opens her eyes in a failed attempt to force the dreadful images away revealing to the three in the room severely dilated pupils. But, she doesn’t see them. She sees that doctor, in his white coat, calling her by her last name. Dokorevich. Unable to contain her internal battle any longer, Nicolette lets out a blood curdling scream, deeper than that from the video due to her will to fight. The scream dies down as she slams her head against the vibranium backboard, firmly closing her eyes, willing the images to be gone. They’re not. Her jaw clenches.

“We’re done!” Bucky yelled, unable to bear her struggle any further. He took a couple steps closer and barely whispered, “Nic?”

As her eyes snapped open, his heart sank, seeing the involuntary physical result of his words – her eyes darting back and forth, dilating and constricting with her gasping breaths. The evidence of her lasting internal battle.

“You’re in control.”

His voice, despite being the one to utter those dreadful words, was soothing. It kept her grounded; allowed her to readily distinguish current reality versus her lie-littered history. He placed his forehead against the vibranium backboard to the left of her head, unable to make eye contact with her foreign gaze. His voice softer than ever before; a faint whisper, barely audible.

“Doll, you with me?”

Her breathing slowed as she gained more control. His special name for her is exactly what Nic needed to regain full control. “Yes.”

Bucky let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and took a slight step back, looking toward Tony and Wanda.

“How did you do that?”

The three still standing look towards Nic, not understanding her question.

She opened her eyes and looked directly at Wanda, “I thought you could just move things, not tap into people’s minds.”

Surprised that Nic knew she accessed her mind with her telekinetic powers, Wanda slowly spoke, “I just wanted to make sure you maintained control; seeing your mind allows me to feel your feelings at that moment.”

Bucky, offended of the intrusion, spoke up, “you tapped into her mind?”

Ignoring Buck’s frustration, Nicolette asked Wanda, “why did you let him keep going when I nearly lost it, then?”

Tony, still catching up as Barnes was, chimed in, “wait, how did you know she looked in your mind?”

Wanda, ignoring both guys as Nicolette had, took a step closer and gave Nic a look of hope. “You have a lot more control than you give yourself credit for. Barnes probably could have said a couple more before you were gone.”

While Wanda’s analysis made her slightly more confident with the overall situation, Nic surely didn’t feel she had the control for any further activation words. Tony, at the ready, interrupted her internal thoughts.

“Anyone going to address our questions?”

Nic decided to be the one to address their interruptions, looking at Bucky, “it’s okay that she looked, I have nothing to hide.” Her gaze shifted to Tony as she continued, “I just…felt her there. Saw the red. Can’t really explain it. Why?”

Wanda chose to explain, “only once was Natasha able to identify when I tapped into her mind – no one else. But, I have sworn to never use it on anyone here. So, I shouldn’t have.”

Smiling, Nic replied, “must be some extra spy sense; but, Wanda, it’s really okay.”

Tony tapped the tablet a few times, freeing the restraints causing Nicolette to jump in uncertainty of her own control. Buck and Wanda gave a combination of a reassuring smile and nod prompting Nic to slowly slip away from the backboard.

“Round 1 complete,” Tony sounded optimistic. “Went much better than this guy’s first go,” he gestured to Bucky who gave a shrug in agreement. “I’d say we give it a go every other day. Can everyone pencil that it on the calendars?” Having agreed, they all dispatched to join the others upstairs.

***   ***   ***

Nicolette was rudely awoken by a guttural scream followed by a blunt force to her abdomen; firmly grasping the limb that struck her, she suddenly identified her attacker.

“James!”

Nic reached across him and flicked on the lamp. Between feeling his thoroughly saturated shirt and now seeing his hair sticking to his face, Nicolette was panged with guilt realizing the severity of his nightmare. She cupped her hand around his jaw as he calmed but maintained a constant shake and blank expression that Nic had never seen before.

“You with me?”

Bucky nodded his head as the shakes slowly began to subside and life reappeared in his eyes.

“You’re drenched!”

Sitting up, Bucky held up his arms to look down at the damage he had done – sheets, comforter, pillow, and all his clothes thoroughly saturated. He let out a moan, ashamed of the leftovers from his nightmare, “sorry.”

“You’re ok,” Nic flashed a small smile his way and rolled out of bed. “Go wash up; I’ll take care of the sheets.”

Bucky mumbled incoherent Russian as he slid out from between the sheets, into the bathroom, and turned the shower on, still half asleep. While he rinsed off, Nic took the sheets to the laundry room and replaced them with a clean set. On her way back to her room, Nic stopped by Bucky’s room and snagged a change of clothes for him. Bending over to set the sheets down on the chest at the foot of the bed, Nic winced in pain. She lifted her t-shirt slightly to reveal bruised ribs from Bucky’s impact; the sight surprised her as she typically doesn’t injure easily.

While fitting the new sheets on the bed, she heard the shower shut off shortly followed by the door opening which prompted Nic to glance up. Bucky, wet hair messily falling around his face, peeked out of a cracked door with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Um, I forgot-”

Laughing at his tired forgetfulness, Nic scooped up the pile of clothes and passed them to Buck, “I didn’t.”

“Thanks, doll,” he smiled and took the pile.

Nicolette’s gaze followed his left hand all the way up to his cybernetic shoulder; upon realizing her gaze had been followed by Buck’s eyes, she vocalized her question, “I’m assuming it doesn’t rust, then?”

Bucky laughed, slightly shutting the door to change while he responded. “Nope, one of the many benefits of vibranium.”

Nic was looking through the chest at the foot of the bed and various drawers as Buck walked out of the bathroom wearing just his sweatpants with the t-shirt slung over his shoulder.

“What are you looking for?”

“Ah, this!” Nic held up a thick quilt and quickly hopped under the covers, frigid from the lack of additional body heat she didn’t realize she had grown accustomed to.

“Blanket is all yours, I’m still cooling down.” He climbed under the sheet leaving it bunched around his hips, sprawling his limbs in all directions.

“Are your nightmares normally that…violent?”

Bucky’s expression morphed to horror, “what did I do?”

“Nothing, just a little flailing.” Bucky leaned up on his left arm, giving Nic indication he didn’t believe her prompting her to continue, “your arm found me.” Nic lowered the covers and lifted her shirt to show him the bruise.

He winced upon seeing the remnants from his touch. Bucky slipped his metal arm under her pillow, reached over and pulled her shirt back down then gently wrapped his right arm around her waist and pulled her into his warm body. “I try so hard to protect you then I do… _that_.”

“You know I can take a lot more,” Nic looked up from his chest and smiled. Little did he know she felt as protected as ever laying in his arms; she felt as if no harm could come to her again – especially from Hydra. “Plus, your nightmare leftovers are keeping me nice and toasty.”

“Glad something good can come out of this,” Buck loaded the sarcasm.

Nic let out a light laugh, still nuzzled into his chest. “What was your nightmare about?”

“You.” Upon hearing his answer, Nicolette pulled her head back in a look of confusion as he continued. “I was activated and forced to fight you. You refused so I said your activation words.” He paused, dreading the truth, “the worst part was, right before I woke up, I _wanted_ to fight you.”

“And do you still want to fight me?”

Startled by the absurdity of her question, Buck promptly replied, “uh, no.”

“Then we’re fine.” Nicolette’s smile fell as she continued, “can’t help but think it was triggered by my reconditioning?”

Buck thought for a little, “probably; but, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep helping.”

“Good,” Nic began, reaching behind Buck to switch the light off, “because I need you.”

Nic curled back into Bucky’s arms, her head nuzzled against his warm chest. When she tilted her head ever so slightly to the right, she could feel the contrast of warm and cold where his scarred flesh joined with the metal limb. Feeling even more protected than before with Bucky even closer to her, Nic found sleep overcame her easier as well. Never did she ever imagine she would become this close to another person given her history; however, it was that very history that brought Bucky and Nic closer. With this man, she would be able to get through anything. They would both be able to overcome everything.


	13. Liquid Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nic finally meets Clint and Peter.  
> Tony and Clint drink too much.  
> Steve's captain-ing.  
> Clint and Natasha are troublemakers (but, what's new there?).

“Guys!”

Sam’s outburst startled everyone, interrupting in depth dinner conversations. It was a rare night where the group had cooked a communal meal and actual sat together at the large dining room table that was seldom used for its function. Tony and Vision took the heads of the table with one side being occupied by Steve, Nat, Sam, Thor, and Wanda all opposite of Bucky, Nic, Clint, and Peter. It was Nicolette’s first time meeting Clint and Peter. Being a former assassin himself, Clint was flattered when Nic said she was impressed with his precision with a bow and arrow, the weapon Nic struggled mastering than most. Peter was humored by Nic’s enthusiasm regarding his web-shooters, allowing her to use them against unsuspecting targets such as Tony and Nat.

Sam continued as everyone sat in silence, staring at him, “we missed guys’ night!”

Immediately Thor tossed down his napkin, and with a full mouth excused himself from the table and ran upstairs.

Being the prime jokester of the group, Tony took advantage of the situation, “evidently he doesn’t want anything to do with your party, pigeon.” Tony knew the bird species discrepancy was a soft spot for Sam.

“Tony, we talked about this –”

Before their argument could escalate any further, Thor came barging back in, holding a small brown vial with a cork-like stopper. Steve, Buck, and Thor all joined in a mutual deep bellow at the sight of the small vial.

“Uh oh, now it’s a party,” Natasha shook her head and carried a few empty plates to the sink. Nic followed suit with an additional load of the remaining flatware despite others’ objections.

As she walked into the kitchen, she could hear Peter inquiring about the vial to which Thor, in his most authoritative voice responded, “Son, this is the purest of liquors from the far reaches of Asgard. This vial houses the amber that will put hair on a god’s chest!”

Tony, in a disapproving fatherly tone immediately interrupted, “no! No, no, no. He is 15.” Tony had stood up by this point and was ferociously waving a finger at Thor who appeared rather amused by Tony’s possessive nature. “No hairy chest. No alcohol. Just, no.”

“Of course not,” Thor began to which Peter could be heard arguing with. “This is not made for mortal men; one drop would put Tony here in a drunken stupor for days.”

“I think you may be over exaggerating a little,” Tony began his refute prompting Wanda to go join Nic and Nat in the kitchen, observing the entertainment from a safe distance.

Wanda walked over to the stove and twirled her hands opening the highest cabinet that was beyond the reach of all three ladies. “What will be the selection for us mere mortals tonight?”

Nat spun around, “hmm,” gazing at the broad liquor selection stowed away precariously high. “Nic, what do you drink?”

Lightly laughing as if embarrassed to admit, Nic responded, “uh, I’ve never had a drink.”

“What? Why?”

“The program instilled this notion that alcohol rids you of all self-control and that’s all I’ve ever known.”

“Well,” Nat responded, “if you drink that stuff over there,” she gestured toward Thor’s vial, “then yes. Us _mere mortals_ will lose all inhibitions. However, there is a way to drink responsibly.”

Wanda laughed at Nat’s last sentence, “you? Drinking responsibly?”

“I only get crazy at home because I trust you guys!” Nat laughed and pointed to Nic, “rule one, only get drunk around those you trust.”

Wanda, through her wisps of red current, carried three bottles and a handful of shot glasses all the way to the dining room table. “Rum, tequila and vodka – we’ll start here.”

“What is this?” Tony’s question could be easily heard as the presence of alcohol on the table silenced the boys’ current debate.

“We needed options tonight because,” Nat spun on her heel and pointed to Nic, “we have an alcohol virgin over here!”

There were all sorts of exclamations of surprise and excitement as Nicolette stared, horrified at Nat’s public service announcement.

Passing Nat on her way to the table, Nic softly spoke, “how I could so take you down after that comment…” Nic took a step toward the table, giving Natasha a taste of her signature cocky smile and continuing just loud enough for the group to hear, “but, I don’t want to hurt you.” She knew that was the best way to push Natasha’s buttons. Nic stopped dead in her tracks when the table fell silent; Bucky, Steve, and Clint all donned the same horrified expression; Tony, Peter, Sam, and Thor looked as if they were anticipating being entertained; Vision and Wanda were just shaking their heads.

By the time Nic began to turn toward Nat, it hit her. Natasha easily took Nic down as they both slammed against the rug on the floor.

Nic, laughing at Natasha’s determination, managed to utter out between grappling maneuvers, “am I allowed to fight back?” She heard a mixture of yes and no, primarily more for the affirmative.

Natasha swung her leg around Nicolette’s upper body while still both on the ground, in her signature move; however, having anticipated that maneuver, Nic easily deflected. Nic swiftly gained the advantage and pinned Natasha’s arm causing her to tap vigorously on Nic’s leg for relief. The two ladies were doubled over laughing as they helped each other up.

“Holy shit!” Peter’s reaction to the grappling could be heard clearly by two people in particular.

“Language!” Rogers and Stark both yelled simultaneously to the minor which prompted a roar of laughter from the group.

“Awh man, Aunt May’s here. I gotta go, guys.” Peter stood up from the table to catch his ride, “Nic, it was awesome meeting you. You, uh, gonna be around here often?”

“Kid, she lives here. Own room and everything,” Tony hopped up from his chair to walk him out as Nic waved goodbye and laughed.

Sam, as soon as Peter was out of earshot, spoke up, “that kid was all about you, Nic.”

“Someone’s going to have to break it to him that I’m nearly twice his age.”

Nat perked up and cocked an eyebrow in response to Nic’s calculation, “last time I checked, Barnes is nearly four times your age.”

After Buck and Nic’s faces had already flushed, but before they could utter any defense, Wanda spoke up, “which reminds me. We still need to plan that belated centennial birthday party, Nat!”

Buck began with further defenses, now about the party planning as Tony interrupted, “one party at a time, people.” His gaze then fell upon Wanda, “can you be a gem and float my scotch over here?” Utterly seeing past his momentary fit of politeness, Wanda grudgingly agreed, twisting her fingers to retrieve the bottle and a few glasses.

The scotch is distributed between Tony, Clint, Steve, Bucky, and Thor. The latter three add a drop from the vial to their respective glasses. Natasha distributes the shot glasses between herself, Nic, Sam, Wanda, and Clint.

“I’m thinking we make this a fun one for Nic-”

Before Nat could finish, Clint interrupted, “I’ve got it. Wanda, more shot glasses, please. And maybe more alcohol.” Everyone questioningly stared between Clint and the current volume of liquor currently occupying the table. Clint dispersed the additional shot glasses to everyone as he continued, “never have I ever.”

There was a primarily positive reaction except for Natasha, who looked like she would have punched Clint in the shoulder given he was closer.

“I’m lost.”

Nat took liberty in explaining the game to Nic. “Never have I ever is a drinking game where one person starts off by saying something they have never done; those around the table that have done it, drink.”

Clint chimed in, laughing hysterically, “and since there’s not much Nat _hasn’t_ done, she’ll probably be plastered after the first round.”

Vision began shifting his glass forward since he doesn’t eat or drink anything which prompted Wanda to speak up, “Vis, you’ll fake a shot.”

“Yeah,” Tony piped up, “we all want to know if that android over there really is perfect!” Vision simply shook his head and smiled.

Nic leaned over to Bucky as everyone began pouring their first shot, “should I be worried?”

“Yes,” he rolled his eyes.

“What’s the goal of this?”

Through a huffed out laugh, Buck responded, “their _true_ goal is to get everyone drunk – a good chunk of the group usually gets wasted.”

“But you don’t?”

“The serum,” he succinctly responded, shaking his head in negation.

“Hang on,” Nic spoke louder for the entire group to hear, making Buck nervous about what she would say. “Since alcohol has no effect on these three,” she pointed between Buck, Steve, and Thor, “shouldn’t they be taking a sip from their stronger drinks instead of a shot?”

“I like the way she thinks!” Clint reached across Peter’s empty chair and gave Nic a high five then removed the three shot glasses in front of Thor, Buck, and Steve.

Nic sat back in her chair with an accomplished smile across her face after receiving a wink of approval from Natasha.

***   ***   ***

“I’ll start us off,” Tony began, giving Steve a sly smile. “Never have I ever jumped out of the plane without a parachute. And before anyone asks; yes, I fit a chute in my armor.”

Steve reluctantly took a sip of his Asgardian tainted scotch, “get ready, you’re asking for it Tony.”

“Wait, Nic,” Sam began as Nic struggled to down the beverage without a grimace. “You’re supposed to drink only if you’ve jumped without a parachute.”

Through a sour expression from the burning alcohol, Nic replied, “I know.”

“Story time!” The group cheered in agreement with Tony’s exclamation.

“My mission was the guy that jumped out of the plane with the last parachute. So, I jump after him, no chute. Killed two birds with one stone. I rendered him unconscious, took his chute.” Nic shrugged her shoulders to emphasize her ease in executing her task, “mission complete and I made a soft landing.”

“See, we’re bonding already!” Nic shook her head and laughed at Tony’s definition of bonding as he continued, “Sam – wings don’t count – drink up.”

“Ah,” Sam began as if he was about to lecture Tony, “underneath those wings is in fact a back-up chute.”

“Oh, touché,” Nat chimed in, impressed with his defense. “Steve, you’re up.”

Having ensured Nic refilled her shot glass, he continued, heavily eyeballing Tony. “Never have I ever had a one night stand.”

The group erupted into laughter as Tony rolled his eyes and took a shot, chasing it with his scotch.

Nat hesitantly looked around, “just him? Alright group, way to maintain those sexual morals!” Everyone smiled or let out a soft chuckle at her congratulations. “My turn,” she continued. “Never have I ever been a soldier in the army or air force.”

Bucky and Steve took a sip from their glasses as Sam took a shot then promptly pointed toward Thor, “god of Thunder, your military equivalent up in the clouds counts!”  
That prompted a laugh from a good portion of the group as Thor obliged, taking a sip.

Sam adjusted in his seat to stare at Nat, smiling devilishly, “never have I ever flirted my way out of a predicament.”

Nat, Wanda and Nic all took a shot; Nat immediately stood up and pointed toward Clint, “Budapest! Lying is cheating.”

“Dammit.” Clint shook his head and took the shot which caused the majority of the group to demand an explanation. He shook his head in shame prompting Nat to relay the story.

“We had just finished a mission in Budapest; but, couldn’t get a hold of Fury for the extraction – comms were down. So, _I_ try laying on the moves on this pilot who was utterly distracted by Clint. It didn’t take Clint much time at all to swoon this guy into letting us borrow a plane to get out of the country.”

“Didn’t know you had it in you, Barton. What all did you have to do?”

Clint looked appalled at Tony as he managed a quick defense, “just flirt – that’s it! Swear!”

The group looked to Nat who confirmed with a quick nod.

“I have one that will get you all,” Thor demanded as if that alone was a success. The group was not surprised as their experiences differed from his by a substantial amount. “Tony, you’re welcome in advance. Never have I ever…eaten stolen ice cream.”

Everyone except Tony and Nic took a drink.

“I knew it!” Tony declared pointing furiously to each person around the table. Everyone always denied their involvement when Stark would notice his stash had depleted; but, he always had a hunch.

Nic, looking at the shot glass she held in front of her mouth, asked Buck without making eye contact, “that wasn’t your ice cream, was it?”

Referring to the pint they polished off nights ago, he simply smiled and shook his head in denial.

Nic reluctantly shot back the alcohol and refilled.

Wanda smiled and lifted her glass toward Stark as she began, “never have I ever been awake for three days straight.” Tony, Bucky, and Nic all took their respective drinks prompting Wanda to respond to Buck and Nic, “sorry, guys, you weren’t my target.”

“I don’t mind being collateral damage if it means I get to see drunk Tony come out,” Nic admitted causing Nat, Buck, Clint, and Sam to laugh in agreement.

Vision readjusted in his seat, contemplating what to offer; Nat huffed out before he could have his turn, “and we’re all about to drink – get ready.” There were a couple smiles and nods in affirmation.

“Never have I ever failed a test.”

The communal boos made Vision smile as everyone tilted back their respective drinks.

Wanda let out a loud sigh as Clint goofily smiled, knowing it was his turn.

“Don’t do it; be original for once.”

Clint’s smile turned as he responded to Natasha, “you know me too well. Never have I ever intentionally missed a shot.” The communal dissatisfaction was louder than before which Clint took pride in.

Having downed another drink amidst the hollering, Nic leaned toward Buck, “did Vision just fake a drink? I thought he was perfect.”

Buck leaned in, succinctly summarizing the story in a whisper, “at the Leipzig airport, he aimed at Sam but hit Rhodes, Tony’s right hand man, knocking him out of the sky. Paralyzed him.”

“Wait, Vision was on Tony’s side? Against Sam?”

Knowing he was a primary deciding factor in who chose which side, he scrunched his nose, struggling to quickly explain. “That battle after the Sokovia Accords. Kind of my fault-”

Nic was confused but before either could continue, Nat jumped in, “Nic, your turn.”

Buck sat back in his chair and quickly added with a smile, “remind me about it later.”

“Don’t be lame like Clint over here – be original!” Clint huffed at the offense Nat shot at him as she continued, “so, who are you going to target?”

Everyone silently stared at Nic as her gaze shifted methodically between each person at the table. She cocked an eyebrow as her gaze fell upon Bucky prompting Nat to narrate, “target acquired.”

Buck opened his mouth, prepping for a defense which Nicolette interrupted, “you said you can’t get drunk.” Nic shrugged her shoulders in a nonchalant attitude, “you can take the hit.”

“Whoa, who said he can’t get drunk?” Tony was practically out of his chair, yelling his question.

Thor backed Tony, almost as if someone offended his precious drink, “yeah, no human can withstand the inebriating effects of this liquor.”

“Well, I’ve never had enough to have that effect so I assumed I couldn’t,” Bucky quickly explained.

“I sense a hypothesis to be tested,” Nic grandly stated as she put her drink down to claim the high five Tony offered to her scientific proclamation. She took Buck’s drink in hand, tilting the glass to her left in front of him as she contemplated.

“Good luck finding something I’ve done that you haven’t, doll.”

There was a low bellow of surprise from the group upon Bucky’s cocky comment.

Slyly looking toward Buck with one eyebrow raised, a smile slowly formed across Nic’s face as she came up with her statement. Without breaking eye contact with him, she slowly enunciated every word, “never have I ever had my weapon unsheathed by my opponent.”

Buck smiled and shook his head as he reluctantly took the glass from her hand and took a swig, not losing eye contact with Nic until he set the glass down. There was a roar of approval upon seeing him drink that was interrupted by the loud thud of an empty glass being slammed on the table.

“Dammit, Barnes.” Natasha gave him a death stare as she winced at the strong shot, “you better get her back. And, Clint, drink up.”

Slouched in his chair, he looked unamused toward Nat and simply explained, “it’s a quiver. Not a sheath.”

Laughing, Nic jutted in, “I’ll take that!” Clint smiled at Nic’s approval meaning he didn’t have to down the beverage.

“Barnes.” Nat continued in a stern expression, “pick wisely.”

“I’m not going to contribute to getting her wasted,” Buck slightly smiled as he pointed an accusatory finger in Nat’s direction.

“Well, you said it yourself. Good luck finding something I _haven’t_ done,” Nic mocked with her arms crossed.

“Says the person who’s never had alcohol!”

The roar of laughter that ensued forced Nic to agree. “True. Go for Tony, then.”

Immediately, it came to Buck’s mind. “Never have I ever been lit on fire.”

Tony mentally debates, narrowing his eyes, “on accident or on purpose.”

“Both!”

To Bucky’s clarification, Tony took a shot chased by his scotch.

“Whoa, what?” Buck’s attention was immediately diverted as he saw Nic attempt to discretely set down an empty shot glass. “I thought for sure you’d be safe on that one!”

“Mission.”

Unsatisfied with Nic’s lack of detail, Sam and Steve both stammered, “story!”

Nic rolled her eyes and tossed her head back as she began. “My target and I wound up in some warehouse where he used a blowtorch to keep me back. It wound up igniting my dress.”

“Why were you wearing a dress to a mission?”

“High profile target at this international gala; had to look the part,” Nic nonchalantly replied to Tony’s question.

Clint chimed in, “why didn’t you just shoot the guy?”

“Not even the best holster could hide a gun under _that_ dress.” To that, Wanda made some comment about sensual attire that Nic just shook her head to as Nat quickly interrupted, wanting more of the story.

“Well, what happened?”

“Snagged the nearby nail gun and shot straight into his head then the fuel canister for good measure.” Nic signaled an explosion with her hands as she concluded, “boom.”

Buck, who was still caught on the initial part of the story, “and the fire?”

“Oh, luckily it was mainly just the dress that caught. But, being a chem plant also, there were plenty of safety showers. Parts of my arms were burnt but nothing the serum couldn’t rapidly heal.” Nic leaned forward, pulling her long braid over her shoulder, holding up the tip, “it did singe a few tufts; hence I keep it braided so you can’t see the length differences.”

Vision slowly inquired, as if in deep contemplation, “when did this happen?”

Nic sighed, “three months ago.” Understanding that Vision had connected the dots, Nic fessed up, “Nat, your dress was beautiful.”

A look of shock came over everyone’s faces. Nat’s face softened as she slowly connected the dots. “You were at the Counter Terrorism Convention?” Nic nodded slowly as Nat continued, “and let me guess you are responsible for the _precautionary maintenance shutdown_ at that nearby plant?” Nic nodded again, smiling. “And the ambassador that never showed and is still considered missing?” Nic repeated the movement with her hands signifying the deadly explosion. “He had valuable intel we were trying to extract. You foiled our mission.”

“Check the files you pulled from that safe house. It’ll be under the folder titled blue, subfolder 89120. Read those and you’ll know why his death won’t haunt me.” Tony gave an unsettled look at Nic’s confession to which she vaguely responded, “I thought I had seen the worst of what people are capable of…until I snooped through those documents of his I acquired.” Everyone stared, still in shock at Nic.

Sam chimed in, “what about the body?”

“R2 required I bring the body back. Being high profile, they wanted to ensure there was no potential trail.” She twisted her face slightly as she continued, “though, they did lecture me about the condition of the bodies I brought back after that.”

Everyone still remained in contemplative silence motivating Nat to prompt the game along, “huh. Well, Tony, I think it’s your turn.”

Immediately snapping back into the fun of the game, Tony spat out, “never have I ever wished I was someone else.”

Sam mumbled a barely audible, “bastard,” before he, Wanda, Steve, Bucky, Steve, and Nic drank.

Nat glanced to Steve who’s turn was next, practically begging, “lighten it up!”

Steve started a mischievous laughing as he was looking at Buck, “never have I ever gotten magnets stuck to my arm.”

“Damn, you,” Buck joked as he finished off his glass of spiked scotch. Tony, who was thoroughly inebriated at this point, took a sloppy shot and scotch chaser.

Through the rumbling laughter, Nic tilted her head to the left to Buck, “I’m counting on hearing the rest of this story later.” Bucky laughed and nodded in reluctant agreement.

“My tu-urn,” Nat let out in a highly tipsy sing-song shrill. “This is for you, sarge,” she pointed to Bucky, going along with the new communal goal of making him tipsy. “Never have I ever had my heart stop.”

Both having undergone their versions of cryostasis, Steve and Buck took a sip of their refilled spiked scotch. Nic attempted to discreetly take her shot only to be noticed by Clint.

“Lady!” Nic jumped at Clint’s exclamation. “Aside from drinking, what haven’t you done? Explanation!”

Nic, not sure if she should broach the subject, let her gaze accidentally slip toward Bucky. Seeing Nic’s slight movement, Nat stood up and pointed an accusatory finger toward Bucky.

In aggressive Russian, Nat yelled, “what did you do to her?” Bucky immediately threw his hands up in defense as Nic, being the only other person that understood, began elaborating in Russian.

Clint interrupted, “English!”

Obliging, Nic continued, “my first mental conditioning. Voltage was too high.” There was a morbid silence that fell on the group. “But I’m here, now. With this crazy group.” Nic began smiling which prompted a relaxation to come over the entire group, except Bucky.

“Let’s see,” Sam contemplated for a while, drawing the group’s attention.

Still leaning back in her chair, Nic slid her left hand onto Bucky’s thigh which evidently snapped him out of the prison of memories. She gave a soft smile as she leaned over and whispered, “and I’m happy here, James.” Giving a gently squeeze, she let go of his thigh and leaned back in her chair leaving the brink of a smile on his face.

“Ah, ladies.” Sam smiled, thinking he had come up with some revolutionary idea only to disappoint, “never have I ever put my hair in a ponytail.” Wanda, Nic, and Nat all took their shot.

“Buck, you could have joined this exclusive club if you would just give it a try.” Natasha had been trying to convince Bucky of trimming his hair to no avail; thus, she resorting to talking him into pulling it back.

“I’m not wearing a ponytail.”

“A man bun,” Natasha promptly corrected as Nic had stealthily slipped out of her chair and removed her hair tie, letting her braid slowly unwind.

“I’m on it, Nat.” Bucky reluctantly sat still with his arms folded, donning an expression depicting utter disapproval as Nic spun her fingers through his hair. Upon assembling a small bun at the base of his neck, with a few strands straggling, Nic holds her arms up as if presenting a masterpiece.

“Oh,” Wanda uttered, with great surprise.

“Yeah, it’s actually not bad at all,” Tony added.

Clint, with surprised eyes, added, “and that’s drunken Tony speaking, a.k.a. honest Tony.”

Before Nic sat in her seat, she leaned over and placed her head near Bucky’s and delivers a sarcastic whisper loud enough for the group to hear. “Hmm, sweets. I think that means you have to take a drink now.” Bucky tilted the glass back, letting the spiked scotch pour through a smile, as Nic accepted Nat’s drunken high five in accomplishment.

“Hold up,” Buck began, forcefully setting his glass down on the table. “How much have you had to drink? You may be done.”

Tony bursts out laughing, “hah, a lot! She’s surprised us all.”

Seeing Buck was still waiting for an answer, she counted them all up. “Uh, six? Seven?”

“You are done,” Buck demanded.

“I don’t feel anything?”

Natasha immediately began rambling in choppy, drunken Russian that only Nic and Bucky understood, “Bull! No more for you,” she sloppily snags the bottle closest to Nic who delivers a rebuttal in Russian as well.

“You’ve had as much as me; let’s see who can walk a straighter line, honey.”

Bucky audibly laughs at Nic’s arrogant attitude while everyone stares at the interaction, confused.

“Tony, do you have some sort of breathalyzer in this place?”

“Nat. Did you have to ask?” Tony stumbles off to his office down the south hall, noisily retrieving the gadget and passing it to Nic. “Press this button then exhale here.”

She follows instruction, shrugs her shoulders upon reading the results and shows the group: 0.00.

“Do it again,” Nat orders. Nicolette follows her orders without a different result. “Maybe it’s broken,” Nat sourly offers.

“Of course it isn’t. Let her try,” Tony gestures to Nat who obliges, taking the device and exhaling sharply.

Nat lets out a sigh of defeat as she shows the group, 0.12.

“Welcome to the exclusive club,” Thor proudly boasts as he slides the small amber vial down the table to Nic.

“Ok; but, take this slow,” Bucky advises in a low voice. “This is substantially stronger.”

“You three look like you’re doing okay,” Nic gestured between Buck, Steve, and Thor who, aside from all becoming slightly more boisterous, were holding their alcohol rather well.

Bucky reached over and grabbed the Stark-made breathalyzer and huffed into it, showing Nic the true effect of the liquor. 0.18.

“And you’ve only had two drinks?” The entire group was surprised when Bucky nodded in affirmation to Nic’s question.

“Yeah, half pint. May want to not have that much,” Tony, pinching two fingers together signifying a small amount while stumbling over his words. “You know, being half his size and all.”

Nic filled Buck’s empty cup with some scotch and added two drops of the amber color liquid, swirling the liquids together.

***   ***   ***

Nearly everyone had retired to their respective sleeping quarters: Tony, Clint and Sam out of sheer drunkenness after a few friendly wagers that didn’t fall in their favor. Wanda and Vision had managed to discreetly slip away without any recognition as they always do. Thor was snoring, asleep in his chair at the table having refused to give into his exhaustion and go to bed. Nic, Natasha, Bucky, and Steve had decided to shift to the living room.

On her way over, Natasha, having finished drinking after the game, double poured herself a scotch. Steve and Nicolette were still nursing their second spiked glasses for the evening while Bucky said he was probably done for the night having never consumed three spiked drinks in one sitting before.

Nic sat down in her now-usual space in the center of the couch with Natasha on her left as the guys were lingering at the table, still chatting.

Facing Nic, Nat raised her glass as if proposing a toast. “True or false. I have never illegally entered another country”

Nicolette let out a loud short laugh, “False. C’mon, give me a challenge!”

“First, your turn.”

“Okay, true or false, I have never celebrated a holiday.”

“Does that include every holiday. Christmas, birthday, everything?”

Nicolette nodded in affirmation prompting Nat to make her guess.

“False.”

“True,” Nic corrected her.

Looking behind Nic, into the dining area, Natasha spoke loud enough so the Steve and Bucky would hear. “Guys, we’re going to have to go all out on the holidays this year! Nic hasn’t celebrated any before.”

“Not even birthday?”

Responding to Buck’s question, Nic turned her head with a quick, “nope.”

Steve, smiling wittily, asked, “July 4th?”

“I’m Russian…”

“I know, I’m just making a joke,” Steve defended himself.

“That’s the kind of jokes you get from a drunken star spangled man with a plan!” Nat shifted her gaze back to Nic, lowering her voice for just her to hear. “True or false. I’m a virgin.”

Nicolette looked at Nat for any sign of lying or fabrication. “True.”

Nat, almost offended Nicolette figured it out so quickly, inquired, “what gave it away?”

“Well, you’re careful. I’ve studied you in the past, how you’ve always worked alone, not fully trusting anyone. Seems like you only let your guard down with those here at the compound.” Nic paused, taking a sip of her drink before continuing. “But, at the same time, you fear what would happen to the few genuine relationships you have _if_ you went to that next level and it didn’t work out.”

“I think someone may be talking about themselves, too,” Nat raised an eyebrow toward Nic.

Nic paused, wondering about the validity of what Nat just said. “Maybe.” Nick took a big gulp of her drink, chalking up her contemplative woes to the effects of the alcohol.

“You’re up,” Nat reminded her.

“Ah, I have a good one,” Nic began, shyly smiling as despite her level of inebriation, she still felt the full fledges of pending embarrassment. “True, false. I have never kissed someone.”

“False,” Nat immediately responded to the absurd statement.

“True.”

Despite her utter disbelief, Nat realized Nic was in fact being truthful. She sat up straighter and hollered to the guys with urgency, “I need a volunteer!” The two immediately made their way to the living area.

“Lord have mercy, Nat!” Even Nic’s drunkenness couldn’t have prepped her for that.

Steve laid on the vacant love seat while Bucky slouched into the armrest behind Nic.

“Volunteer for what?”

Nat flashed Nic a devilish smile responding to Steve’s question, “Nic’s first kiss.”

“No,” Nic began as the guys perked up in surprise. “No, no, no.”

“How many is that? 27 years without a kiss?” Nat dramatically continued, looking between Steve and Bucky, “could you imagine?”

With elevated eyebrows, Steve turned to Nat, “yeah, actually we could. You know, being frozen and all?”

Bucky laughed in response to Steve’s nonchalant public service announcement as Nat clarifies, “but, it’s not like you haven’t had a kiss since being thawed.”

Steve nodded his head in agreement, “true.”

Buck was quiet prompting the three to look over and see him simply shaking his head in denial.

“Buck. Really?”

Natasha’s means of confirming were not quite as subtle as Steve’s. “You haven’t had a kiss since the 1940’s?”

“Aha!” Nic, ensuring everyone fully understood, added her take, “he’s been kiss deprived longer than I have been.” Nic lifted her drink as if to toast to her drunken proclamation.

Nat cocked her head so she could readily make eye contact with Buck and Nic as she said in a seductive voice, “there’s always a solution.” For good measure, she points between her two couch mates.

Nearly spitting out her last sip, Nic half laughs out, “I think I’m drunk; but, not drunk enough for that.”

“Did that start out as a single or double?” Bucky leaned in closer to Nic, gesturing toward her drink.

“I dunno. Nat poured it.”

Nat’s devilish smile was enough evidence to indicate the near empty glass had started out as a double. Utterly failing at taking a discrete sip, Nic wasn’t able to finish as Bucky snags the glass away.

“I was in the middle of a sip, excuse me.”

Bucky simply smiles at Nic as he tosses the remainder back, “not anymore.”

Her usually reliable wit that was currently failing her resulted in Nic stuttering back, “I hope you got backwash.” All four erupt in laughter at the drunken insult.

“Then you’d be able to say you’ve shared saliva – getting closer to that kiss…”

Buck pretends to choke on the effects of Natasha’s graphic as Steve sits up on his couch and points a finger toward Nat. “Ma’am, I’m about to take that drink away from you.” Steve knows when Natasha’s insults lose their creativity, she should have been cut off a few drinks back.

“Oh, really?” Nat stumbles to a standing position, sloppily flirting with Steve, “I’d like to see you try.”

As Steve stands to entertain Nat’s charade, Nic snags the pillow Nat was using, tosses it on an unsuspecting Bucky and flops onto her back with her head in his lap. “This is comedic gold.”

Finishing the last miniscule sip in her glass, Nat finally surrendered it to Steve who placed it on the marble coffee table. Natasha’s instability prompted Steve to encourage her to sit down, to which she obliged, curling up her feet under a blanket.

“True or false. I have never woken up drunk.”

Steve failed in his attempt at holding his laugh in while Bucky just shook his head, sitting with his arms on the back of the couch as if he wasn’t sure where to appropriately place them.

The communal consensus to Nat’s next round was false.

Nat let out an uncharacteristically soft smile and mumbled, “you three know me so well. Your turn.”

“True of false.” Nic could feel all their eyes on here as she contemplated what to offer. “I have never told another person, ‘I love you.’”

Nat responds first, shortly followed by Steve; both coming to the same conclusion, “false.”

Bucky pauses, trying to read Nic’s somber expression. She wasn’t as good at hiding her emotions given the alcohol. “True.” His voice was a mixture of both surprise and sympathy.

Nat clarified, “well, are you including family or friends?” Nicolette softly nodded her head.

Natasha and Steve sighed as if from heavy hearts at their understanding. Bucky just slipped his left arm down the back of the couch, gently placing his hand on Nic’s arm reassuringly. She appreciated the gesture, comfortable opening up to the three; however, she couldn’t help but imagine the situation was just too good to be true.

“Do you think the committee will accept me? Allow me to stay here?”

Nat, half contemplative, offered, “yeah. I mean I don’t see why not.”

“Seriously, Nat.” Nic let out a light huff of a laugh, trying to be realistic.

“There are two other former Russian assassins in this room that they’ve accepted. It’s not a far-fetched idea.” Nat’s voice became calming, “just trust Fury.”

“Do you all trust him?

Natasha immediately replied without doubt, “yep.”

Steve, in true character, gave a more calculated response, “he’ll always tell the truth; but, he’s very reserved. So, sometimes it takes asking the right questions with him.”

Nic looked at Bucky, being the only person yet to give his take.

Bucky sighed, wanting to be honest; but, not wanting to instill doubt in Nic. “While I do appreciate all he’s done for me; there are only three people that I trust right now. And they’re all in this room.”

“Awh, the Winter Soldier is finally warming up to the Black Widow.”

“And Nat ruined the moment,” Steve concluded, lightly laughing.

“Wait, you trust me?” Nic looked up, shocked, from her pillow in his lap.

“Hmm,” he immediately began, faking deep contemplation. “You’re a tough one to figure out; but, yes.”

Tipsily laughing at his charade, she offered, “I don’t think I’m too complicated.”

“You?” Natasha began, raising an eyebrow. “Not complicated?”

“What?” Nicolette sounded almost offended, “I just want to live a normal life like anyone else.”

“Nic, do you want kids?”

“No, I don’t think so,” she began to offer in response to Nat’s seemingly out of place question that took them all off guard. “But, not like I have a choice anyway?”

Natasha’s face grew stern as she made eye contact with Nic. “Graduation?”

Nicolette nodded, understanding immediately that the sterilization procedure had come from her prior widow program. Worried her alcohol induced lack of inhibitions had been getting the best of her, she stood up and walked towards the kitchen.

“Before the stories of my life history become any more depressing, I’m going to call it a night.” Nic rummaged through the refrigerator, finding herself a water bottle, hollering from behind the door, “can I get you three some water?” She glanced into the living area and jumped as right behind the door was standing a tall, looming figure. She landed a sloppy punch that was returned by laughter.

“Doll, it’s me.”

“Dammit, James.” Nic laughed away her increased heart rate, passing him a water bottle. “Nat? Steve?”

“Oh, two please!” Nat hollered from the loveseat. Nic snagged the first and peered out from behind the fridge, launching the first bottle to Natasha’s open arms.

All four immediately erupted into laughter as the bottle missed by at least three feet above Nat’s head, eventually landing on the floor and rolling into a wall. Nic, giving up on her drunken abilities, passed the two bottles to Buck who flawlessly tossed them to Steve.

“Goodnight you two,” Nic yawned as she offered toward the loveseat with Bucky following to her room.

“Enjoy the hangover,” Nat’s sing-song farewell could be heard even though Nic had already made it in her room.

Buck closed her door as Nic went to use the bathroom, completely forgetting to shut the bathroom door. “So, how bad is the hangover with _that_ liquor?”

Looking away from the bathroom to ensure he doesn’t violate her privacy, Buck responded, “so far, I’ve never had one. Metabolize it very quickly. But, I’ve never had this much before.”

Having finished, Nicolette leaned on the edge of the doorway, her hair sloppily falling over her shoulders since she lost her hair tie to Buck. “Neither have I,” her drunken stare was joined by Bucky’s laughter at the obvious statement.

“You need to go to bed,” Bucky said flatly, feeling guilty for being entertained by her inebriated humor as he started walking toward the bathroom.

“Hang on.” Bucky stopped at Nic’s sudden command. She slowly walked towards him, in an almost sultry manner. She put her right hand on his chest, applying slight pressure, prompting him to walk backwards to the edge of her bed. Nic could feel his heart rate suddenly increase as she looked into his eyes and gave a sly smile. His legs reached the edge of the bed to which she gently pushed with both hands flat against his chest.

“Nic.” His voice was faint as he struggled to figure out her motive as he sat on the bed, “what are you doing?”

She took a step between his bent legs. Slowly sliding her hands up his chest, Nic leaned in forward as she seductively licked her lips.

Buck took a deep breath and uttered through gritted teeth, “Nic?”

Her hands slid to the back of his bare neck as her lips nearly touched his ear, “I need something.” She could feel his pulse rapid upon her whisper. In one swift movement, Nic slipped one finger into the tuft of his hair restricted by the hair tie and pulled it out.

She stepped back and laughed as she braided her hair, “thank you.” She finishing with tying off with the elastic band as Bucky remained on the edge of the bed, confused.

“Nic. What just happened?”

“I just needed by hair tie back.” She walked to the other side of the bed with a light, “thanks.”

Bucky finally stood up and walked to the bathroom, shaking his head in disbelief. “Doll, you’re going to be the death of me.”

Laughing, Nic changed into pajamas and slipped under the covers while Bucky was in the bathroom. Head still spinning from the alcohol, the room suddenly went dark. She slowly slid her arm to the right under the covers, stopping when she found the cold metal. She let out a soft hum when she realized he had climbed into bed without her realizing.

“I’m here.”


	14. Limbo

“How is she?” Bucky spat out through gritted teeth to Wanda as Nic let out moans through labored breaths.

“I think she can handle one more; but, if she doubts herself for one second, she’s gone.”

Bucky took a deep breath then, with his back turned from the restrained Nicolette, practically yelled in Russian, “Vozvrashcheviye na rodinu.”

Her screaming ceased and eyes remained dilated substantially as Bucky turned around, looking at Wanda for an update on Nic’s mental status.

“She’s gone.”

While it was difficult to compare the vastly different reconditioning programs between Nic and Buck, it was definitive that her rate of progress far surpassed his. The primary hiccup in her training derived from her fears; her body would shut itself down upon advancing in the list of activation words. Every day of reconditioning, she would be able to endure more of the activation words; however, it always resulted in the same absentminded effect. She wasn’t in the brainwashed induced trance yet she wasn’t responsive. She caught herself in a limbo that could only be broken by the deactivation word. 

“Sputnik.”

Bucky’s faint whisper was enough to replace her prison of limbo with unconsciousness. He couldn’t bear seeing her helplessly limp body lie restrained against the metal board and he especially couldn’t tolerate observing her body physically responding to the activation words. He couldn’t because all of that physical torture was caused by the words coming from his mouth.

“She’s making progress.” Bucky looked over to Wanda as she continued with genuine hope, “8 of the 10 words _already_ is amazing progress.”

“But, what happens when we reach that last word?” It took all his effort to keep himself from yelling; Bucky took a deep breath and continued calmly. “What if she’s not strong enough to pull herself into that state of limbo when I say it. What if she falls into the trance?”

“Either way you say the deactivation.”

“But, how do we get her past that?” Bucky shoved his fingers through his hair, visibly distraught. “How can we make her _not_ dependent on that goddamn word?”

“We don’t give up on her.” Wanda took a step toward Bucky and continued while pointing toward Nic, “I can see she is getting stronger every time. Give her that credit.”

Natasha and Tony knocked on the glass door to check on the progress of her training. Seeing her unconscious on the vibranium chair, they both peer in, standing in the doorway.

“How far?”

In response to Tony’s question, Bucky solemnly answered, “hit limbo at 8.”

“She’s making great progress,” Nat concluded in agreement with Wanda and Tony.

Bucky removed the restraints upon hearing Nicolette begin to stir, regaining consciousness. He slowly walks closer as she blinks her eyes open, allowing her gaze to fall upon his face. His voice becomes soft, loud enough for only Nic to hear, “you with me?” She slowly nods as she is still catching her breath.

Steve walks up to the door sitting ajar, “everything alright? Saw the door open.”

Nat began to respond, energetically relaying the details to which Steve is also pleasantly surprised to hear.

Nic brushes her hand against Bucky’s metal forearm prompting him to lean in. She ever so slightly whispers, “icebox.”

Ever since her reconditioning began, _icebox_ was their way of discretely signaling to one another the desire for isolation. They would manage to detach from the group and make way to the old underground room with the ice baths. Most times, they would just sit together in silence and relax; sometimes they would talk about their pasts or seemingly insignificant things like favorite things or funny stories. They both greatly benefited from the isolation as they both needed it for the same reasons. One day, Natasha followed them to the lowest underground floor attempting to prove their nonexistent relationship. After Nic explained it, Nat has been vital in aiding in their discrete getaways as needed.

Bucky gave a faint smile and turned to the group as Nic laid her head against the metal. “Guys, she needs rest; I’ll take her to her room.”

Nat gave Nic a slight smile, indicating she understood, and proceeded to go upstairs and close Nic’s door to ensure no one would catch on to Buck’s white lie.

*** *** ***

An hour later, Buck and Nic were still sitting in the same deep basin in the large dimly lit room. After Nicolette reminded him, Bucky caught her up on the battle at Leipzig airport, the Sokovia Accords, and Bucky’s stint in hiding in Romania.

“Another thing you promised to tell me that night was the story Steve mentioned about the magnets sticking to your arm,” Nic was surprised she forgot to mention it earlier.

Bucky began laughing at the recollection. “Tony was tweaking some electromagnetic component within the shoulder-”

“The one that Nat made that EM residue cleaner for, right?”

“Yes, that foul gunk,” he smiled and nodded as he continued. “Well, not only was I streaming greasy tar everywhere, I was a walking magnet.” Buck shook his head in embarrassment as he continued, “at first it was small things – keys and coins – then it started to attract larger objects that were causing some real health concerns – Nat’s electrocution discs, the kitchen knives.” Nic laughed at the mental image he was creating, dodging household items as they gravitated toward Bucky. “Then it became a real problem – I got stuck to the fridge for an hour before someone finally came by to help me.” They both erupted into laughter: Nic laughing at Bucky and Bucky just laughing at how humorous Nic found his angst to be.

“How’d you fix it?”

“It was easy for Tony to fix,” he shrugged his shoulders. “I still think to this day he did that on purpose.”

“I wouldn’t put it past Tony,” Nic shook her head as Bucky agreed.

“How are you feeling with the reconditioning?”

“Honestly,” Nic tried to adequately analyze her progress, “I know Tony and Wanda and pretty much everyone else say I’m doing well; but, I can’t help but think I can fight harder.” She paused and donned a determined expression, “but, I feel good.” She gave a big smile of achievement to which Buck shook his head and laughed.

“You’re such a dork.”

“Did you just call the Winter Widow a dork?”

Laughing at the evident offense she took, he chimed back, “no, I called Nicolette a dork.” She smiled hearing him say her full first name as it was quite rare.

“How are you holding up with the reconditioning?”

Bucky took a deep sharp breath that spoke volumes prompting Nicolette to raise her eyebrows in suspicion. “I’m doing okay.”

“That’s not what Wanda said,” Nic lifted an eyebrow.

“Dammit, Wanda,” Buck gave a reluctant sigh, having been caught. “It’s hard to watch you going through all that pain and then getting stuck in limbo _all_ because of what I say.”

“Look at the big picture, though. It is _you_ that will free me of this torturous lack of self-control.” Nic tilted her head sympathetically, trying to make eye contact. “Remind yourself of that when it gets tough.” Bucky let his head fall back over the edge of the basin, onto the surrounding tile.

“Oh!” His head shot up at Nicolette’s exclamation. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

His alarm morphed to slightly curious relaxation, “and what’s that?”

“How long have Nat and Steve been a thing?”

“Um, excuse me?”

Nic questioned him, utterly dumbfounded, “how have you not noticed?”

“I don’t think there’s anything between them. He tells me everything and he’s never brought that up.”

Nic maintained her look of contemplation, not satisfied by Buck’s lack of knowledge, “there’s something there.”

“Speaking of,” Bucky wasn’t sure his segue was entirely appropriate; but, continued anyway. “Remember the night we were all drinking?”

Nic let out a faint laugh of embarrassment, “yes…?”

“Remember when we were in your room?” Nic nodded and closed her eyes, realizing where this was going but keeping her mouth shut. “And you had your hands all over me?”

“Okay, not _all_ over. Let’s not get carried away here!”

Buck smiled at her offense, “care to explain any of that?”

“Well, I was drunk. And it’s fun to mess with you, what can I say?” Nicolette knew she was blushing but still couldn’t break the eye contact she made. “I’m sorry,” she began in a more serious tone, “I shouldn’t have done that; it crossed a line.”

Bucky shifted to stand up, holding out a hand to help Nic up. “Well, I never said that,” he gave her a wink as he pulled Nicolette to a standing position, purposefully pulling her body into his.

Nic smiled and added in an accusatory tone, “you tease!” Using his shoulder as her only means of help, she not so gracefully stepped out of the basin and began walking to the door.

“Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.”

Nic didn’t have to turn around to confirm the grin plastered to his face. “Dork,” she mumbled, just loud enough for him to hear.

Bucky shook his head and stifled a laugh as they both began walking back to the common area.


	15. "You're officially one of us."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Buck and Nic make a cruddy situation a'okay with bad jokes.

Nic groggily stumbles into the kitchen having woken up later than usual. She turns the coffee pot on for Bucky, who she presumed was still lying in bed, and rummages through the refrigerator, shoveling random pieces of fruit into her mouth. She paused mid bite, realizing that it was abnormally quiet, and slowly walked down the east wing to look for Nat, bowl of strawberries in hand.

Nat’s door was open; but, her room was vacant. Nic made her way to the west wing and the upper floor living quarter to the same avail. No one. Making her way down the south hall, she noticed all the office and conference room lights were off. Taking the nearby stairs, she perused through the training facility and garages: no one. Starting to genuinely worry, she made her way back to the commons, encountering Bucky in the south hall with a coffee in hand.

“Why so flustered?”

Nic, with a severely worried expression, responded, “everyone’s gone.”

“Eh, maybe they’re at the store?”

Seeing right through his blatant lie, Nic’s concern faded, “James, don’t play dumb. I can read you like a book.” The latter statement was a lie; however, Nic knew confidence could get her far.

Bucky began to open his mouth, debating his next response.

Nic cocked her head to the side and lifted an eyebrow. “Fine, I’ll find out for myself.” She walked right up to Steve’s office door and grasped the handle, looking one last time at Buck. His smug expression prompted her to try the handle. The edge of his smile curled up even further upon her realization that the door was locked. Nicolette gave him a slight smile as she slipped a bobby pin out from her hair and slowly bent down, picking the lock.

“I imagine with all the technology in this place, the office locks are too secure to-”

Nicolette pushes the door open with more force than warranted and she dons a fake surprised expression, “oh, you were saying?” She walks into the office and flicks on the light.  
“Wait…”

Nicolette leans beyond the door jam, peering at Bucky, waiting for more information before she abandons her search efforts.

“They’re taking out Hydra’s California safe house.” Nic gave him a look mixed with horror and disapproval prompting him to continue. “It’s a mission sanctioned by the committee. We’ve got to eliminate Hydra once and for all.”

Nicolette began a refute; but, ultimately, she agreed with Bucky. “How long will they be?”

“Around two days depending on what intel they locate.”

Nic put her hands on her hips after closing the office door. “And exactly how long did you think you could keep this from me?”

“I was hoping until this afternoon at least,” Bucky remained relaxed, taking a sip of his coffee.

“After you finish that,” Nic pointed toward the cup and completed her demand, “we’re doing my reconditioning.”

Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “Tony said no.” He tops off his charade with an annoyingly loud gulp of coffee struggling to keep a smile at bay.

Nicolette walked toward Bucky, seductively licking her lips. She placed one hand gently on his chest as she looked up and softly spoke, “and what does James say?”

He rolls his eyes, smiling as he appears seemingly unaffected by Nicolette’s falsified flirtatious attempts. “You’re cute.” He takes another sip and gestured toward the stairs, indicating for them to head down to the reconditioning room. Nicolette pumps a fist in the air out of excitement of her personal victory.

“Ready?”

Nicolette quickly nodded, restrained within the grasps of the vibranium chair for her eleventh round of reconditioning. Nic was especially nervous since she had successfully reached the ninth of ten words without going into limbo during their last session; therefore, the last activation word very well may be uttered today.

“Zhelaniye.”

Nic arrogantly countered, “next!”

“Rzhavyy.”

She simply nodded, feeling her heart rate increase.

“Semnadtsat’.”

Nic slowly inhaled and counted methodically as she exhaled; upon feeling comfortable, she nodded.

“Ressvet.”

“Pech’.”

“Devyat’.”

“James!” Her voice was practically a growl, her plea for him to slow the words down. Obliging, Bucky waited for a good couple minutes for Nic to fully gain confidence and composure.

“Dobreserdechnyy.”

Nic took a deep, calculated breath. She slightly closed her eyes only to force them back open upon seeing the Winter Soldier advancing toward her on her graduation. She ferociously fought until her pupils constricted back to a normal level. Nod.

“Vozvrashcheviye na rodinu.”

Deep breath. Eyes closed. He’s back. The Winter Soldier is walking towards her petite frame as her arms are outstretched. Keeping her eyes closed, she wills his disappearance. Opening only once her line of vision is cleared of her past. Pupils constrict. Nod.

“Odin.”

Deep breath. Eyes closed. He’s back. Eyes open. He is still walked toward her to attack with Madame B watching on. Her heart rate increases as she fights, telling her mind that what she sees is not reality. Bucky is reality. James is reality. Pupils ever so slowly constrict. Nod.

“Gruzovoy vagon.

Deep breath. Eyes closed. He’s back. No longer as her opponent; but, as her partner. Eyes open. Pupils dilated. Target acquired. heart rate slowing.

“You with me.”

Nicolette’s gaze falls as Bucky takes a step closer, trying to determine her current mental status. He tilts his head down, closer to Nic’s.

“Nic?”

Her eyes meet his. Bucky’s heart sinks as his gaze is met with dilated pupils with an empty stare. Without warning, Nicolette threw her head into his, causing a loud cracking and a string of Russian profanity coming from Bucky’s mouth.

She gasped as Buck looked at her with a betrayed expression. Her pupils momentarily constricted only to return to their dilated state as soon as she blinked.

“Sputnik.”

Twenty minutes later, frantically gasping for air beyond the item covering her face, Nicolette flails her arms in the air as she immediately sits up. An ice pack falls from her face into her lap as she looks to the right, seeing Bucky reclined on the couch next to her with an identical icepack on his face. She takes a deep breath, recalling the reconditioning.

“You have a hard face,” Nicolette tossed the ice pack onto Bucky’s abdomen after seeing a smirk form from her comment.

Removing his icepack revealing the dried-up leftovers from a bloody nose, Bucky hesitantly asked, “so, you remembered it?”

“Surprisingly, yes,” Nic began, slouching back into the cushion. “I was initially fighting the Winter Soldier during graduation; then, when you said the last word, it was as if he was my ally or leader, telling me to attack my target. You.”

“You’re officially one of us,” he said with a goofy smile.

“Not following…”

“Nothing you say makes sense. Remember, I told you nothing in this compound makes sense?”

The two erupted into laughter as soon as Nic connected his reference to her identical response after being told about Thor’s hammer.


	16. "I think I'm in love."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, glorious fluff.

“Yes, Nic.” Natasha began over the conference phone on the dining room table. “Like I said, no injuries; safe house destroyed, data acquired.”

“Ok, ok.”

“We’re currently 20 minutes out from D.C. for the debriefing with Fury and the Committee. That should take two hours, tops; then, we’ll head home. We should get to the compound around dinner time-”

Steve was abruptly interrupted by Tony, “speaking of dinner, can you two go to the grocery store? Our stash was sparse before we left and I know how much you two can demolish.”

Bucky and Nic both stared at each other in bewilderment.

“Hello?”

“We’re here,” Bucky hesitantly responded to Stark.

“So, grocery store?”

“Uh, how?” Nic’s question was valid especially since she didn’t have a legal US license and Bucky never drove anywhere despite Steve forcing him to get a license.

“Buck can drive my truck,” Steve offered.

“The grocery card is in the drawer closest to the fridge,” Nat added. “Oh, and don’t forget my spinach.”

“Rabbit,” Tony grumbled, barely audible.

“Sure, no problem,” Nic was now looking forward to the outing as she hadn’t left the compound aside from morning runs. Bucky didn’t appear quite so optimistic so he gladly changed the subject.

“Well, we have some news.”

Without missing a beat, Tony jumped in, “you’re pregnant!” There was a loud thud followed by a few colorful words from Tony aimed at Natasha.

“As you were saying,” Nat’s signature smirk could be heard through the phone.

Nic was staring at Bucky with an unimpressed expression on her face as she was embarrassed he was making this such a big ordeal. “Nic made it through all the activation words today!” The response was overwhelmingly positive which made Nic feel bad for thinking the announcement was unwarranted. The group was always beyond supportive.

Elated, Wanda quickly asked, “no trance?”

Nat added, “or limbo?”

Smiling, Nic softly spoke, “nope.”

Ruining the moment, Steve’s voice grew stern, “no broken noses?”

There was a pause as Bucky and Nic were trying to maintain their composure at the irony of his question. He elected to respond, “no. But, funny story about that-”

“Buck, seriously?”

There was a good round of laughter from both sides of the phone as they explained the situation from four days ago then concluded the phone call. Nicolette retrieved the card Natasha spoke of as both made their way to the mudroom to put on their shoes.

“So, why are you evidently dreading the grocery store?”

Bucky shrugged, avoiding a proper answer as he dug in his cabinet for gloves, a baseball cap, and a hooded jacket.

Nic cocked her head to the side, raising an eyebrow about the incognito appearance. “Why such the intimidating look?”

“I just don’t want people to see me and make a scene.”

Realizing he meant negative recognition, Nic felt guilt arise for asking. “People are like that? With you?”

“In the past, they have been.”

Fully understanding the reactions of the past, Nic sought clarification. “But, still?”

“Well, no,” he stammered, struggling to form a defense. “But, I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Nic walked over to Bucky and put her hands on his sides, disliking how she could barely make out his facial features beyond all his layers. “Can we give them a chance?” Donning her best sympathetic look, she gently pressed her body against his and gave a soft smile.

He smiled in return and silently removed his gloves behind her back given her proximity. Nic, on her tiptoes, removed his hat and hood, tousling his hair back to normal. Her smile grew bigger as she took his metallic hand in hers as if to signify approval of the removal of the gloves.

The ride to the store was uneventful; however, Nicolette still thoroughly enjoyed the thoughts of domestic lifestyle it conjured. It was a pleasantly odd sight. Seeing Buck’s metal fingers wrapped around the top of the steering wheel as they made their way down the freeway greatly contrasted with its original violent, intended use.

***   ***   ***

“There are a million types of beans here; why does it have to be garbanzo beans?”

Buck was smiling, standing next to the cart, no longer helping Nic’s failed attempt at finding the one can. “Nat. That’s why.” He leaned over onto the handlebar of the cart shaking his head as Nic was furiously searching the aisle once more. “Now you see why I don’t like grocery shopping for a household of picky eaters.” He let out a light laugh as Nic was now climbing the shelves, having found the product matching Natasha’s description on the grocery list. “That’s frowned upon, you know.”

“Then they shouldn’t make these shelves so tall!” Nic hopped down, feeling accomplished with the can in hand.

Bucky was startled by a tug at the edge of his jacket. Looking down, he saw a little girl with her parents nowhere to be found.

“Excuse me, mister?”

Looking frantically toward Nic who hesitantly smiled as she made her way down the aisle, closer to the cart, Bucky glanced back to the small child.

“I like your arm!” Struggling to pull up the sleeve of her outstretched arm, she eventually revealed a skin colored prosthetic limb and shamelessly pointed to Bucky’s hand with a large smile.

Bucky knelt on one knee and pushed up his sleeve as far as the fabric would allow, rotating his wrist around as the little girl excitedly reached out to feel the seamless movements of the metal.

With utmost innocence and without breaking eye contact with the cybernetic arm, the little voice chirped, “what happened?”

Bucky hesitated at how to honestly respond, settling for, “I had a bad fall when I was younger.”

The girl lit up, “me too!”

While more discrete, the smile that formed across Bucky’s face emitted the same heartfelt emotion as the little girl’s.

“Cassie!” A woman frantically began running toward Bucky prompting him to jump slightly. “Oh, my gosh. Sweetie! I tho-”

“Mommy, look!” Interrupting the sprinting lady, the little girl pointed to his arm with that proud smile still splattered on her face, utterly oblivious to the fear she induced in her mom.  
The lady scooped her up and immediately turned to Buck, “sir, I am so sorry. You know kids – no filter, whatsoever.”

“She’s fine. Really.”

The genuine smile that crossed his face warmed Nic’s heart. She had stayed back, locating the last few grocery items on the aisle but keeping an eye on the exchange. Bucky and Cassie’s mom continued to talk, occasionally pointing to his prosthetic. Eventually, she gave him a slip of paper after scribbling on it. He walked back, meeting Nic down the aisle where she had moved the cart. Bucky was intently staring at the small rectangular paper with a name and phone number.

“Oh,” Nic began in a soft voice, nudging Buck in the ribs, “someone has a date?” As soon as the words rolled off her tongue, she felt the pang of a foreign emotion. It wasn’t pleasant. It was focused on that tiny paper. And the lady. Was she jealous of him spending time with another woman? Nic rationalized that this potential jealousy could be due to less time she would have; not necessarily jealous over a potential deep relationship. Or was she?

“No,” he spat out as fast as possible. “I’m giving her contact information to Stark.” Bucky’s horrified expression morphed into a smile as he held out his left arm and continued, “I’m hoping he’ll be willing to consider making the little girl one.”

Nic boasted a huge smile while she also felt guilty for her internal jealousy monologue. “That’s sweet.” Frowning, she continued sarcastically, “I’m sorry for making you take your glove off earlier; that little girl really did make quite the scene.”

Bucky laughed and put his right arm around Nic’s shoulders, pulling her into him as he pushed the cart with his left, “dork.”

Nic smiled, wrapping her left arm around his torso under his jacket and lightly grasping his hand on her shoulder. They rounded the corner into the large frozen section with only one more item on the list.  

“She also said my fiancé is beautiful.”

Stopping dead in her tracks, Nicolette looked up at him, confused, only to see him smiling. “And what did you say?”

“Thanks.”

Heart skipping a beat, Nic felt her cheeks fill with warmth as a smile formed across his face. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as they continued down the aisle. Without warning, Nic stopped and gasped.

Looking dramatically into Bucky’s eyes, she whispered, “I think I’m in love.”

Rich in sarcasm, Bucky quickly responded, “doll. I haven’t even taken you on a proper date.”

Releasing his hand, she nudged him once more in the gut and made her way to the closest door of the frozen section and opened. “No! Look at all the ice cream choices this store has!”

They both erupted into laughter as they made various selection for the entire group, proceeded to check out and headed home for dinner.


	17. Night Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was fun.

“This is the only time you all will be able to distract me from practice!” Steve pointed amongst the group, who had successfully stalled the entire day in an attempt at having one free day from sparring. While they always enjoyed their unique means of bonding; Steve had been much more rigorous requiring longer bouts and further runs.

Nic made her way back to the refrigerator as Nat, Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Peter were sprawled out on the couches watching a show she was unfamiliar with on Netflix.

“Going back for seconds,” Sam narrated her movements, “or is this thirds?”

Piping back without breaking her gaze from the food selections, Nic reasoned, “I hardly call our snacking firsts. Definitely can’t classify that as a meal.”

Suddenly, all the lights shut off, leaving the stark contrast of the flooding light from the refrigerator with the pitch black penetrating the wide swath of windows from the night sky’s new moon.

Steve perked up in the arm chair, losing all visibility as Nicolette closed the still functional fridge. “FRIDAY?”

“Mr. Rogers, no need to panic. Stark is working on a project that necessitates large quantities of power and requested to divert all nonessential power to his garage.” An audible sigh could be heard from the majority of the group; Tony was known for cutting nonessential power without warning now and again.

“Nonessential? We can’t even see,” Peter, who had come over for the physical training that never happened, sassed back.

“There should be flash lights in the kitchen,” Nat began as she got up, evidently stubbing her toe based upon the string of Russian profanity.

Barely catching a glimpse of a silhouette in front of him, Steve yells and swings a punch that is readily, yet sloppily, deflected.

“Steve!” Bucky immediately jumped up, grabbing at the faint figure prompting a slight squeak as he tackled the mystery person to the ground.

“Guys!” Nicolette’s voice, mumbled through a full mouth of food, was forced out as she submitted to Bucky’s weight from his attack. “Dammit, you two. It’s me. I was just bringing over some flashlights.”

Bucky immediately piled off, apologizing as he helped Nic up from the floor. Clint, Sam, and Peter erupted in laughter at the exchange.

“You two didn’t see her?” Clint, with decent nighttime vision being an excellent shot, prodded. “Like at all?” As the group finally illuminated the living area with the three flashlights, they could see Bucky shaking his head in disapproval of Clint’s emphasis.

“We don’t have nocturnal eyes like you, Legolas.” Nat was usually very original with her nick names for Clint; however, she just couldn’t let go Tony’s reference to the archer.

“Except…” The beams from the flashlights Steve, Nat, and Peter were holding followed Bucky’s gaze to Nic who widened her eyes as if being caught red handed.

Giving a slight smile, she offered, “serum?”

“I have an idea. Turn off the flashlights,” Clint had a mischievous smile forming across his face as Peter readily obliged. Steve, more hesitant just shook his head and flipped the small switch. Natasha took some reasoning with before she would follow command.

In the dark room, all they heard was the familiar sound of a bow being pulled taught followed by Nicolette’s Russian babbling interspersed with Clint’s name. The weight from Nicolette’s position on the couch suddenly became vacant followed by a loud thud from the opposite side of the coffee table, under the TV. All three flashlights suddenly snapped on to reveal Nic on top of Clint, restraining him between her legs, wielding his bow high above her head, out of his reach.

Quickly defending her precarious situation, Nic began, “he shot me!”

“With a blunt arrow!”

Bucky picked up the arrow that had fallen at the foot of the couch after having hit Nic. It was Clint’s practice arrows Tony made; they stung upon impact but didn’t cause injury.

“This actually gives me an idea,” Steve’s smile not only surprised everyone but made them nervous about the grand plans.

Having followed Steve’s orders, the group had made their way down to the largest training room with Steve, Bucky, Nat, Sam, and Peter lined up with a three-foot gap between each facing Clint and Nic.

“Steve, are you sure about this?”  

Responding to Nic’s hesitations regarding his orders, he responded reassuringly. “Yes, I think it will be good for everyone to focus on using their other senses when sight is compromised.” He vaguely gestured forward, not being able to see Clint and Nic in the fully blacked out training room that even his eyes couldn’t adjust to. “You two try and take us on and the five of us, honing our other senses, will defend.”

Sam immediately spat towards Steve’s voice in alarm, “take us out? This is like a damn execution line.”

Having snuck up behind Sam, whispering in his ear barely loud enough for everyone to hear, Nic retorted, “we won’t hit hard.”

“Shit!” Sam turned and took a failed swing at Nic, causing himself to stumble.

“Language!”

Laughing at Steve’s command to Sam, Clint added onto Nic’s promise, “she may not hit hard.”

Clint and Nic slowly walked between everyone, occasionally taking a light swing, enough to get the point across they were there. Nat, Sam, and Bucky were getting frustrated while Steve kept encouraging everyone and Peter was thoroughly enjoying himself.

“Alright, give us a little more,” Steve egged on Nic and Clint. Nic promptly landed a foot to his abdomen which he almost deflected and followed up with a succession of three punches which caught Nic off guard. She dove to his right and restrained him in a headlock. Hearing the commotion, Nat struggled to intervene but was eventually able to remove Nic from her grip on Rogers.

Clint immediately dove into Natasha from the side, catapulting them both into Sam and Peter. The four were slowly exchanging blows as Peter slung webbing toward Clint only to inadvertently immobilize Sam. As Peter and Sam were blindly trying to remove the webbing encasing his legs, Rogers and Nic were still on their own, 30 yards away from the main group.

“Buck, can you go help Peter and Sam?” Steve began sounding desperate as duos failed struggles were interfering with his intent listening required for his calculated shots at Nic.

“Guys, this isn’t working,” Sam urgently shouted as help in removing the webbing was nowhere to be found.

Louder, Steve shouted, “Buck?” With a heavy sigh to his friend’s lack of response, Steve spoke to Nic, “find him, make him work.” No longer sparring with Nic, he turned and followed Sam and Peter’s voices.

Nic glanced to her right and left, able to see fairly well, not spotting Bucky. Thinking he may have left quietly, she turned toward the door. The cold hand suddenly firmly gripping her side made her jump, immediately throwing her left elbow back. It struck the target; but, the impact with the vibranium sent a tingling down to her fingertip.  
Bucky interrupted his own laugh with a low taunt, “didn’t forget who we were fighting now did we?”

His cocky attitude riled Nic. She sent a strong blow to his abdomen immediately followed by another blow to his side making Bucky stumble back with an audible forced exhalation. He threw a failed punch having lost her location, as Nicolette swept her right leg through his, landing him on his back. Immediately immobilizing Bucky’s flesh arm against his side with her legs, Nic restrained his metallic arm above his head and leaned down close to his ear.

“I could have asked you the same thing,” she slowly said in the faintest of whispers.

The lights suddenly illuminated the facility indicating Tony had finished the current project.

“Whatcha doing over there?” Sam’s insinuating voice could be heard clearly despite the now 40-yard distance between Bucky and Nic and the rest of the group. Sam, Peter, and Steve had successfully removed all the webbing and were standing up analyzing the current situation as Natasha was on Clint’s shoulders, refusing to release until he tapped out.  
Nic immediately sat up, realizing how precarious of a position they were in. Buck, still on his back, snuck his right arm free after Nic had lightened her grasp and grabbed her by the waist, lifting her to her feet. “This one was taunting me.”

Steve shook his head as everyone except Clint and Nat began to regroup in the center in the same formation they started with. “Clint, just tap out already.” After the archer reluctantly obliged and everyone was back together, Rogers continued. “Ok, I think this was a good idea; but, next time I’m going to have Tony’s mask so I can see everyone and give pointers.” Sam and Nat groaned at the concept of having to do this again; Peter was still amped up by the change in routine; Bucky gave a slight smile at the thought of beating Nic at her own game. “Clint, Nic. Do either of you two have recommendations for the group.”

Nat rolled her eyes as Clint began to open his mouth; however, Nic interrupted before he began. “I got all five of you to swing at nothing, thinking I was there. Don’t waste your energy on a potential hit; preserve it and make a calculated move.” Nic nodded her head to Steve, “Cap you did best at that.” She continued to gesture to each member of the group as she specified. “Peter, no webbing teammates.”

Sam cocked an eyebrow toward Peter in agreement as he began to defend, “it’s easier with the suit; I wouldn’t have webbed him then.”

“It’s easier with the lights on, too,” there was a low laugh of approval at Nicolette’s sarcastic rebuttal. “Nat, you know I love your style; but, channel your anger.” Nat smiled as she rolled her eyes. “Sam, you can’t listen when your mouth is going 90 miles a minute.” Before he could form a defense, Nic began walking towards Buck who was standing with his legs slightly apart and hands clasped behind his back in militant fashion. Standing a foot in front of him, she looked up and tilted her head to the side and scrunching her nose, “and James. Don’t get too cocky.” He gave an exaggerated two finger salute in return.

Rogers started slowly clapping with a grin of approval across his face in response to Nic’s advice. “Okay, since we’re all down here,” there was a collective groan as he continued, “we’re going to do a couple bouts of sparring. Nat, you’re with Nic. Clint, Sam. Peter, Barnes. I’m going to get gloves and we’ll get started.”

“Uh, Captain, sir,” Peter hesitantly began regarding the pairing choices. “Is the webbing still off limits?”

Steve gave a contemplative look between Peter and Buck, “no.”

“C’mon, Steve!”

Steve, almost to the door, slyly threw over his shoulder in response to Bucky’s dissatisfaction, “next time, drop the arrogance. But, no worries, we’ll switch up the pairings a few times.”

Bucky pointed an accusatory finger at Nic, “this is on you.” Nic just smiled in return.


	18. The Contingency Plan

“Gruzovoy vagon.”

Nicolette’s heart was beating out of her chest which was struggling to fully rise upon her forcefully inhalations due to the restrictive vibranium chair. Suddenly all the restraints were released prompting her to look up in horror toward Bucky, Steve, Tony, and Wanda who were all present in the small training room, hopefully staring at her every move.

She slowly stepped down, unassisted, taking each step as if it were a calculated risk. Looking into Bucky’s comforting eyes, she slowly closed hers. Nothing but the blackness of the back of her eyelids. Nic breathed out a sigh of relief; the images were gone. She slowly opened her eyes only to gasp in horror as the man in front of her was now wearing a mask covering his mouth and nose. Looking him up and down, her heart began speeding up as she saw the sheaths on his pants and hips stocked with knives. Two guns could be seen peering from behind his shoulders, ready to be used upon any potential threat.

Bottom lip quivering, primarily out of anger more than fear, she accusingly grunted at him through gritted teeth, “you!” Livid, Nic took one step toward him to suddenly stop as he took a slow step back.

“She’s still in there, Barnes.”

Nic turned to her left to see where the familiar female voice came from to see Wanda, Steve, and Tony standing next to the Winter Soldier. Her rage morphed to horror as she yelled to the three, “get back!” Turning to face her opponent, she lunged her shoulder into the Winter Soldier’s gut, forcing him into the corner of the small training room. Taking swing after swing into his abdomen, Nic utilized all her effort into protecting the three from the brutal assassin.

“Nic!”

Nicolette stopped punching as she looked up to see where the familiar comforting voice came from only to see the face of the masked soldier.

“Nic.”

The voice was softer, not forced as before. Confused, she slowly reached up towards the soldier’s face, jumping as his left metal grip grasped her wrist. The grip loosened, allowing her to slip her right hand delicately behind his head. Swimming her fingers through his hair, she undid the clasp of his mask, revealing his lips repeating her name, softly. Nic let her right arm fall to her side, fiercely gripping the mask as she took a step back.

“You with me?”

The Winter Soldier’s lips moved in sync with the familiar phrase as the comforting voice came from someone else. She closed her eyes slowly, took a couple deep breaths, then opened them.

“James.” A sigh of relief flooded from her mouth as she fell into his arms.

“Uh, may I ask what you were seeing?” Seeing Nic was okay, Tony began with his usual jab of a comment, “looked like you were about to kiss him.”

“No,” Nicolette began as she lifted her right hand, “I was removing his m-” She looked to her empty grasp; trying to justify her movements. Looking to the ground for the mask she removed, she saw nothing. She slowly looked at Bucky’s face as she concluded, “your mask.”

“He became the Winter Soldier; she only fought when she saw the three of us,” Wanda pointed between herself, Steve and Tony. “She was trying to protect us. But, when Barnes said her name, she slowly pieced back reality.”

Recalling her vigorous punches, she immediately gasped, “James, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay. Remember?” He lifted his shirt slightly revealing what appeared to be a black Kevlar vest.

After having mastered control over all the activation words for a few sessions, Tony and Bucky decided it was time to make an advancement. Last week, after reciting the last words, upon the restraints’ release, Nic immediately attacked Bucky only being subdued by Wanda. Refusing to fight back, Buck took substantial damage, nothing his serum couldn’t rapidly heal. However, Nic felt so guilty, she demanded they not release her in future sessions. Seeing as that would substantially inhibit progress, Steve recommended that Bucky wear a Stark-made vest they commonly used for sparing.

“Those are made to be worn over clothing, Barnes.” Tony sighed at his layering preference as Bucky began removing his shirt to take off the vest.

“The last thing she needs is to see is anything hostile-looking as she’s snapping out of it,” Wanda interjected.

“Pardon my interruption,” FRIDAY came over the intercom. “Ms. Romanoff wished to be informed when Mr. Barton arrived. He is upstairs; however, she is exercising in the adjacent room with earbud volume levels I cannot overcome. I would prefer if someone could please inform her so I do not cause her undue alarm by initiating the emergency strobe lights?”

Laughing, Wanda obliged, exiting their small training room to relay the message to Natasha.

Handing the vest to Tony, Bucky sarcastically added, “go science away.”

Excited, Tony snagged the vest and hurried out of the room toward his garage.

“What was that about?”

Turning his shirt back into proper orientation, Bucky responded, “he wanted to see how hard you punch; so, he put some sensors in the vest assuming you’d attack me…again.”

Loaded with sarcasm, Nic chirped back, “am I just some science project for him?”

Steve took the opportunity to respond, almost in defense, “I think it’s part of his backup plan for each of us in case we…you know?”

Nicolette was surprised at Stark’s evident lack of trust, “what? Turn on each other?”

“Think how difficult it would be if Banner suddenly couldn’t control himself,” Bucky began rationalizing Tony’s actions which initially surprised Nic. “Or as crazy as it sounds if Vision lost control. Or Wanda, me or you. It’s one of the few contingencies the Committee has that I actually agree with.” Nic sighed, thinking about the validity of his statement as Nat peaked her head into the room.

“Hey, Clint’s here. He’s got something for us,” she gestured toward the stairs as she concluded, “c’mon!”

Steve followed Nat and Wanda upstairs as Nic held the door open, giving a ridiculous look toward Bucky.

“You know, no one is stopping you from putting your shirt back on.”

“Hmm,” he began as he slowly walked toward Nicolette, gliding her hand off the door with his metallic limb, letting it close with them still inside the training room. “What?” He kept walking toward her prompting her to walk backward until her back found the wall. “Is it…” Bucky’s bare torso was barely grazing her chest as he placed his metal arm above her head for support as he continued, “distracting you?”

Her heart was racing as her gaze was turned from the outstretched metal arm to her right, down to his shoulder then slowly to his mouth as he sensually bit his bottom lip.

Taking a step back and lowering his hand, Bucky jokingly spoke, “and that was for your charade from training a couple days ago.”

Nic formed a soft smile as she shook her head, making eye contact with him. Then, it hit her. Never had she fully realized the color of his eyes; Nic quickly became lost in the steel blue vastness staring back at her, allowing her smile to soften even more.

“What is it?” Bucky’s voice emitted concern.

“Your eyes,” she takes a step forward and reaches for his face, cupping her left hand around his face with her thumb ever so slightly gliding over his prominent cheek bone. “I’ve never realized just how blue they are.” The feeling that overcame her was warm and euphoric; but, it was also foreign. Nic slowly closed the gap between them, tilting her head toward his as she involuntarily licked her lips.

Nic was snapped from her daze when the cool metal made contact with her waist. She didn’t understand why she was doing what she was doing. All Nic knew was that she craved; craved what, she didn’t know. It couldn’t be Bucky; he was her closest friend. What if someone sees them like this; how would she explain there isn’t anything between them? It’s not what it appears. Or, is it?

Ultimately decided to play it off as revenge, she slyly speaks, “and that’s for your charade just now.”

The metal constricted slightly as Buck gave her waist a gently squeeze. Nic let out a silent breath as he pulled his shirt over his head and they made their way upstairs. With every passing flight, Nic couldn’t help but contemplate the feelings she endured. Foreign but euphoric. She had never experienced anything remotely similar to that sensation. Before she could rationalize any further, they were greeted by Clint, dressed in a full suit, and the rest of the group.

Seeing the two walk up, Clint began, “since everyone knows Nat would kill me if I told when her birthday was, I’m going to start by saying it’s not today.” Clint took a step away from Natasha upon seeing her deadly stare. “But, I realized I never did anything when her birthday _did_ come around so I’m taking her out to a nice dinner tonight. Everyone’s invited!”

There was a combination of well wishes to which Natasha never broke eye contact with Clint – blaming him for making a scene.

“Where’s Laura?”

Clint cheerfully responded to Nat’s bitter question, “she’s with the kids; she sends her love, though.”

Wanda stays behind with Vision who never genuinely enjoyed eating out at restaurants between not being able to eat and guilt he felt for attracting unwanted attention. Sam and Thor were at their respective homes; Tony was consumed in his work as usual; Steve had an appointment Fury had already rescheduled twice.

Clint didn’t seem too phased that his scheduled dinner appeared to just include himself, Natasha, and Nicolette given Bucky never went out and simply sauntered off upon hearing the invitation. “Alright, then. Will an hour give you ladies enough time to get ready?”

“Yeah,” Nic confirmed, half distracted. “I need to talk with Tony first.” The vest conversation from the training room popped into her head fueling more questions.

“Come to my room once you’re done chatting,” Nat struggled to catch Nic’s attention, concluding, “okay?”

Quickly nodding in response, Nicolette left the commons.

***   ***   ***

Despite her lengthy duration of living at the compound, Nic had never actually seen Tony’s garage. She was surprised to hear blaring classical music upon entering the massive room that sat underneath the Avenger’s front lawn. The music snaps off prompting Nic to cease her mindless gawking.

“What’s up, kid.” Having grown fond of Nic, he gave her one of the compound’s few genuine nicknames, not one laced with sarcasm or a joke.

“I, uh,” Nic was struggling in figuring out how to approach her question. “I was talking with James and Steve about something after the reconditioning.” Tony put down the instruments he was fiddling with and spun around to face Nic upon hearing her hesitation, and nodded for her to continue. “The insurance in case we, I don’t know, go rogue?”

Tony nodded his head, immediately understanding her less than perfect description. “The Committee’s Contingency Plan.”

“So, do you really have something that can take each of us out?”

“Yes,” he proudly began. “Well, in the process of making them.”

Knowing there was no way of sidestepping her true concern, Nic just blurted out. “What if they fall into the wrong hands?”

“Valid concern. That’s why, once they’re all complete, one” he held up his pointer finger for emphasis as he continued, “they will always be stored where we – the Avengers – are. And, two,” adding a second finger to the air, “I’m going to ensure each Avenger, except for the targeted one, is familiar with the details.”

Starting to feel more comfortable about this plan, Nicolette paused to think as Tony turned back to his work. Eventually, she continued, “the vest with the sensors in it. Was that to help you with my… _plan_?”

“No, that was just out of curiosity. But, what I am working on right here _is_ part of yours.”

Nicolette peered around his shoulder in a failed attempt to identify the small mechanical part in front of Tony. “Are you making a…specialty suit for each of us?”

“Oh, no.” He glanced up from his soldering with a mask still over his face as he continued, “for some, it’s a specific weapon. Others, it’s just a game plan. But for Banner, yes, it is a specialty suit.”

“The massive one from that video – from the battle two years ago?”

Tony nodded as he continued he turned back to his work. “What I constructed for Barnes is rather ingenious if I don’t say so myself. That one was fun.”

Not following Tony’s definition, Nic prompted clarification, “fun?”

“Yeah, I’m not quite done yet. It’s not fully installed.”

“Installed? In his arm?”

“It’s creative. And subtle. Only those who know about it will be able to activate it. He doesn’t even suspect anything when I do occasional maintenance on him.” Nic let out a light laugh at Tony’s phrase of doing maintenance on Bucky. He set everything down, removed his welding shield and spun toward Nic, “Wanna know what it is?”

“You seem to be dying to tell me…”

“So, above his collarbone is a pressure point that will trigger an electrical shock strong enough to snap him out of a trance if he were to ever be activated again. Honestly, it’s probably strong enough to render him unconscious but not die.”

Entertained by Tony’s level of enthusiasm, Nic kept the questions coming, “wouldn’t it zap the person who pressed the... _button_?”

“That was tricky; but, I think I solved that problem.”

“Is it already in?”

“The activator,” he pointed to a spot just above his left collarbone, “is in. Right now all it triggers is the electrical charge that’s already a feature of his cybernetic limb.”

Nicolette, with a contemplative grin let out an involuntary, “hmm” as she headed for the door.

“Don’t get any smart ideas now, miss!”

Laughing, Nic heard the music snap back on as she made her way back to the common area.

***   ***   ***

After being let in by Nat who was almost ready, Nic collapsed on Nat’s bed and began pleading her case after being tossed a makeup bag. “Do I really have to go?”

“Yes.” Natasha defiantly responded as she was selecting a dress for the evening. “Clint is up to something – I can read him like a book. Not to mention it’ll be good for you to get out of the compound.” She turned around giving Nic, who started applying minimal make-up, and flashed a smile.

“Fine. What are we supposed to wear to this place?”

Finally making her dress selection, Nat holds it up, “we’re fancying up, lady.”

“Do I have any clothes like that?” Nic didn’t recall seeing anything of that level in her closet; however, it was Natasha who actually bought all the clothes.

“Nope. But, I have a fully stocked closet that you know you are more than welcome to peruse.”

Nic peered around the open closet door from her perch on the bed. “Uh, don’t think I’ve ever picked out a dress for myself. For those fancy missions, they always just…appeared.”

“No worries,” and there was her signature smirk. “I’ll pick.”

“Oh, boy…”

Nic finished applying her make-up by the time Nat finally made a selection. It was a deep red dress that fell to well above Nic’s knee on the right and just under her knee on the left. The top was very strappy revealing a slight amount of cleavage with a lower back than Nic would ever pick out for herself. She was thankful for her waist length dark wavy hair covering her nearly bare shoulders. Nat came back out from her closet as Nic was adjusting the dress in the full-length mirror.

“Christ, Nat! Do you want me to break my ankle?”

Holding the dangerously tall black heels in her outstretched hand, Nat waited in silence until Nic put them on. All dressed, the two standing in front of the mirror; while they were both in variants of red and black, Nat appeared with enough confidence for the two of them while Nic was utterly lacking.

“Smile, lady. You look great.” Nic let out a pitiful laugh as the two made their way to meet Clint in the kitchen.

“Nic, seriously?” Nat gave a disapproving stare to Nic who was once again digging in the refrigerator. “We are about to go to a nice restaurant. They’ll have enough food, I promise.”

Steve, who was about to leave, and Clint were both stifling laughter as Nic turned, with a full mouth and loaded fork, offended. Steve’s laughter immediately turned to pleasant shock.

“I haven’t seen you that dressed up since…”

“the 40’s,” Buck finished Steve’s sentence smiling as he rounded the corner into the kitchen.

“You look great, man!” After the two exchanged a back-slapping hug, Steve held him by the shoulders to look him up and down in disbelief.

“Where’d you even get that?”

Pointing to Steve, Bucky responded to Nat’s question, “he made me get this when I moved in hoping to get me out.”

Having finished rinsing her utensils, Nic turned around to see what was worth the commotion. Upon turning around, she was suddenly struck by those steel blue eyes staring right back as a warm smile began to form on his face. Nic wasn’t sure if it was her newfound appreciation of their stark color or the soft blue shirt with his hair pulled back that made the penetration of his eyes foreign.

“And it finally worked,” Steve nudged Buck in his side, breaking both of their gazes. “Alright, you four have fun. Hopefully Fury doesn’t keep me any longer than a couple hours.” After bidding him safe travels, Steve made his way to the garage with the four dressed to the nines in tow.


	19. The Truth Comes Out

“Thank you,” Natasha politely told the waiter upon receiving her colorful cocktail. After taking a sip, she set the glass down with more force than necessary and turned to her left, “so, what do you want, Clint?”

“Can’t a guy just take a lady out for her birthday?”

Nat cocked an eyebrow toward him, “yeah, plenty do. Not you, though.”

Clint knows he’s been caught, giving a reluctant sigh. “Ok, I want to take Laura on a proper vacation. Just the two of us. No kids.” He paused, trying to read Natasha’s expression, “can you watch the kids? Four days. You could stay at the lake house.”

Nat sat in silence, occasionally sipping her drink. “Ok.” Clint’s face grew an instant smile which vanished upon Natasha’s finger raised in the air. “Under one condition.”

“Anything, I’ll make it happen.”

“I’m not doing this alone,” she began, continuing as he nodded in agreement. “Talk them two into joining,” she tilted her head to the right, indicating Nic, then forward, indicating Buck.

In evident agreement, Clint looked between the other two individuals at the square table with a devilish grin.

“I, uh…” Nic began, struggling to form an apt response to Clint’s unspoken question, “don’t do kids.”

“Have you ever watched over them before?”

“No,” she honestly answered Clint, expecting that would get her out of the babysitting.

“Then, how do you know you can’t?”

Nic began her rebuttal, opening her mouth; then, she closed it, pausing to come up with her creative out. “Do you really think it’s best to have three ex-assassins watching your kids?”

With a large smile across his face, Clint immediately responded, “absolutely.”

Nic’s confident smile was replaced by a blank expression. “Seriously…”

“Out of everyone on the team, I’d say you three are the most resourceful. And with kids, that’s an excellent quality.”

Buck leaned over toward Nic in an exaggerated private whisper, “I’ve learned to not argue with him. Especially when Nat’s the source of his determination. He’s not backing down.”

Clint’s confident smile met her gaze as she spoke softly to Buck who was still leaned over. “You going?” Out of the corner of her eye, she could see his reluctant shrug followed by a nod.

“And Steve, too.”

“Okay, Nat. This isn’t going to morph into some lake house party.”

Ignoring Clint’s last comment, Nat raised an eyebrow at Nic, “you need to get out of the compound.” Seeing Nic prep for a rebuttal, Nat immediately continued, “and for more than an errand or morning runs.”

With a pause, Nic finally obliged, “fine.”

Nat whispered to Nic as the waiter removed their appetizer plates, “see, I told you Clint was up to something.” The two shared a smirk as their entrée plates were set in the respective place settings.

“I think we know who made the best selection.” Clint, excitedly eyeballing Buck’s plate, softened his expression to curiosity. “Haven’t you been here before? With that one girl. What was her name? Chelsea?”

Bucky let his head fall as a smile erupted on his face while he was cutting into his steak. Natasha erupted into a surprising laughter as Clint and Nic stared between the two confused.  
Then, there it was. That foreign feeling. That pang in her chest that she had only felt while she was at the grocery store with Bucky. Was this jealousy? Again? Nicolette tried to shake off the feeling; after all, she should be happy that her closest friend at the compound is trying to find someone, right?

“How did you not hear about this?” Natasha, pausing momentarily from her laughter, gawked at Clint.

“Hear about what?” Nic hoped that the desperation to know hadn’t made it across in her question.

“Buck’s date a while ago,” Nat looked towards Bucky who was refusing to make eye contact as he was still smiling at his food. “When was it?” She gestured towards Nic, “I think a few days before your grand entrance.”

“What happened?” Clint stammered, wanting to be in on the apparent joke. “What’s so hysterical?”

Catching Nic up first, Bucky finally broke his stare, “so, Sam was trying to set me up with this girl he met. Chelsea.” He started smiling softly as he continued, “I kept telling him no. Over and over.”

“Which no one knew why!”

“I’m not ready to date!” He quickly defended, surprisingly not losing his smile as he rhetorically asked, “Am I allowed to figure myself out first?” Nic felt a pang in her heart. It was different than the jealously, more so resembling hurt. However, she could not figure out why she felt this way. “Anyway,” he continues, “Sam shows up to the compound with this girl, having told her I would go on this date that I was unaware of-”

“He was throwing a fit about it as soon as they stepped through the front door,” Natasha took over the storytelling despite Bucky’s objections to her details. “Then, of all people, Tony walks in. And Chelsea suddenly loses all interest in Sarge over here.” Nat was now looking at Clint who was thoroughly entertained by the version of the story he missed out on. “Long story short, Chelsea got her dream date with Iron Man.”

“Dream date with Tony?” Nicolette, through Clint’s laughter, sounded utterly shocked. “More like an unfortunate downgrade.”

“Oh…?” Nat raised her eyebrows, ensuring her gaze cast upon Nic was full of insinuations. Everyone grew silent, staring at Nic, awaiting an explanation.

“What?” Immediately getting defensive, Nic felt a smile form across her face out of embarrassment. “Nat, would you not agree that going on a date with Buck would be far better than a date with Tony?”

“I’m kind of looking to hear your take on this subject, miss.” Nat was always good with keeping on topic, despite Nic’s deflections.

Opening her mouth to deliver her attempt, the waiter suddenly set down a colorful drink in front of Nic that she had not ordered. “Oh, I didn’t-”

“I did,” Nat gave a sly smile as she reached into her small bag and pulled out a vial. Dropping a few drops of the Asgardian liquor into Nic’s drink, Nat nonchalantly offered, “as you were saying?”

Clint barely beat Bucky to the question all three were thinking, “how did you get that?”

“And why?”

“Boys, you know me. Do I really need to answer that question?” Natasha was known for stealthily snatching miscellaneous objects from people – never with malicious intent but always for her entertainment. She turned to answer Nic’s question, “I figured you may need some liquid courage.”

Picking up the red drink, Nic held it up as if making a toast, “then don’t complain when the phrase ‘pre-meditated’ is thrown around in court.” They all laughed as Nicolette took a lengthy sip. “This is amazing! Why weren’t we drinking this on game night?”

“That’s exactly why we _don’t_ drink that on game night,” Bucky chimed in, smiling and shaking his head at the recollection of previous game nights. “Everyone drinks so much more when there’re mixers.”

“Tony was having to reorder mixers every week,” Clint recalled as he nodded his head to Nic, “it was bad.” He then gestured to Natasha, “I’m surprised she still has even half a liver.”

Lifting her glass toward Nic, in Russian, she toasted, “thanks to those Russian genes.” The two ladies clinked glasses as Buck smiled at their exchange and Clint looked on confused.

“So,” ditching all discreteness, Natasha blatantly asked, “would you go on a date with Barnes?”

Feeling her face blush just as Bucky choked on his drink, Nic was hesitant to reply. Her instinct was to deny her desire; however, there was a part of her that didn’t want to lie. Lying would be to deny. But, why did she desire going on a date with her closest friend? Realizing she had stalled suspiciously long, Nic decided to play it safe. “I’d go with him before Tony.”

Clint nodded his head almost as in agreement; however, Natasha clearly wasn’t satisfied as she waited in silence for elaboration.

“Well, I mean,” Nic began, trying to think on her toes. She was trained in negotiations; fabricating and delivering a believable lie was in her nature. She couldn’t figure out why she was struggling. “James is a genuine and nice guy and Tony is, well…Tony.” Nic took a sip of her drink, solely to give herself something to do. “Plus, he’s old.” As soon as the last word rolled off her tongue, she regretted it.

Bucky laughed, “and there you have it. She’d never date me. I’m out of her acceptable age range.” He sat back comfortably in his seat as if having settled the argument once and for all.

“I didn’t say _that_.” Nic simply shook her head and smiled, desperately hoping this conversation was almost done.

“So, you would date him?”

“He’s not even ready to date,” Nic quickly spat to Natasha. Cocking her head toward Bucky, she continued, “he said so himself.”

“Barnes?”

Nicolette held her breath in anticipation of Bucky’s answer to Nat’s prying question. Before he could make any sound come out of his hesitant open mouth, two waiters came by, one clearing empty plates and the other passing around dessert menus. Covering her face while fake-reading the menu, Nicolette couldn’t help but keep her mind from wandering. For starters, she was beyond thankful for the impeccable timing of their waiter. Nicolette didn’t even know what she wanted to hear Bucky say. If he said he was ready, would Natasha keep pressing her to answer? Nic was starting to entertain the idea of liking Bucky as more than a friend. But, she knew she would have to push those feelings down. Deep. What would happen if they didn’t mesh? Would they be able to overcome the awkwardness? Could they ever work together?

Clint interrupted her thoughts as he piped up after putting his menu down, “what do you all think about sticking with the massive ice cream selection at the compound? Thanks for that by the way,” he gave an exaggerated smile as his gaze passed between Nic and Buck, referencing Nic’s lack of self-control at the grocery store.

“That sounds great,” Nic folded her menu and took the others, forming an ordered stack as Bucky immediately flagged the waiter for the check.

“Sorry for making things uncomfortable,” Natasha was smiling as she donned a sarcastic tone.

Mimicking Natasha’s sarcasm, Bucky glanced toward Nic, “remember how Steve said we were going to start working on sparring with partners? Two on two?”

Going along with his ploy, Nic continued the mockery, “yes, I do, as a matter of fact.”

“I think I’ve come up with an ideal opponent for us.”

“Hmm, and who could that be?” Nic sarcastically looked around then landed her gaze on Nat with a surprised face. “Oh, how about Nat?”

Bucky and Nic, not breaking their gazes from Nat, bumped fists as if they had succeeded in a great accomplishment.

“You two are unbelievable,” Natasha spat back to being teamed up against. “Can’t take either of you anywhere anymore.”

Having a decent lead on the guys, Nic and Natasha were making their way through the front door of the restaurant that was held open by a stranger. Nic could smell the abundance of alcohol as he heavily exhaled as she walked by. Shaking the stench from her senses, Nic continued the conversation she and Nat were in the middle of only to be suddenly interrupted by the mystery man who had evidently followed them into the parking lot.

“What’re beautiful damsels like you two doin’ out here alone?” His gait was staggered; evidently the alcohol hadn’t only affected his scent.

“Oh, we’re not alone,” Natasha began, nonchalantly as she continued with increasing amounts of sarcasm. “We’re here with our dates; if you stick around I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”

Taking a staggered step closer to Nic who’s back was almost against the truck, he countered, “well, I guess I’ll have to accompany you until they get back.” He looked down into Nic’s eyes, with an expression that could only be described as unhealthy hunger, “y’know keep you…protected until they get back.” Nat took a sharp inhalation when the man reached forward and lightly grazed the back of his fingers down Nic’s bare shoulder.

Without warning, Nic firmly plummeted her middle finger in the space just above his collarbone and arced it forward. As the man dropped to the gravel under the unexpected neural pressure, she nonchalantly added, “I appreciate the offer; but, I think we’ve got it under control.”

“Nic!”

Looking up toward her name, she saw Bucky and Clint running toward the truck. The man staggered to his feet as Nicolette took a step toward him, prompting him to back away from the truck. “There’s a lot more where that came-”

Nic was interrupted by Bucky’s metal arm grazing across her stomach, swiftly wrapping around, towards her back, as Bucky stepped in front of her. “Go.” Nic almost felt his growled command more than she heard it. Nic could hear the drunken man’s response; although, her view was obstructed by Buck’s large frame.

“Y’know, if you hadn’t a showed up, I coulda shown ‘er a good time.”

Before she could feel his muscles tense, Nic knew Bucky wasn’t going to react well to that comment. She quickly wrapped her right arm around his torso, palm planted on his abdomen, and her left arm interlaced through his prosthesis in anticipation of holding him back. Nat anticipated the same and stepped toward Buck out of caution as Clint walked toward the man, grabbing him by the collar and walking him back into the restaurant with Nat in tow.

Almost offended, Nic barked, “you know I could have held my own, right?”

Bucky slowly turned toward Nic, his face still stern. “But, you shouldn’t have to.”

“Thanks.” Her expression softened as she continued, “guess I’m just still used to running solo.”

“No need to anymore, doll.” Nic smiled at his sincerity as he continued, wrapping his metal arm around her waist, pulling her in close. “You look stunning tonight.” Her heart leapt as those steel blue eyes smiled back at her.

“You don’t look too bad, yourself,” she felt her cheeks involuntarily flush with her delivered compliment. Their embrace was interrupted by Clint and Natasha’s return.

“Alright,” Clint clasped his hands as he and Nat walked back over having ensured the drunken man had a safe means home. “Ice cream time.” All four piled into the truck as they made their way back to the compound.


	20. Activated Sparring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potential Trigger: bloody violence (sparring)

Bucky, Steve, and Nic make their way back to the front lawn of the compound after their run; Nic made a less than graceful rolling dive to land on her back on the grass. Steve walked to where they started their run, picking up three waters and made his way back to Nic and Buck.

“Water?”

Sitting with his right leg outstretched and his metal arm slouched over his bent knee, Bucky held out a hand, “please.” Gulping the entire bottle down in one breath, he let out a loud sigh that sounded more like a growl.

“Nic, water?”

Laying on the grass with limbs in all directions, Nic huffed out, “nah, I’m gonna work on inhaling air instead of water.” She kicked the bottom of Buck’s shoe, ensuring he understood her joke.

“So, how much did half pint slow down our time?”

“Jerk,” Nic mumbled in response to Bucky’s prodding question.

“That was actually our fastest 26.2 yet.”

Without sitting up, Nic snagged the nearby water and cockily mumbled, “you’re welcome” before consuming the water.

“Let’s get inside, the others are probably waiting.” Steve began walking toward the back door of the compound with Buck in tow. “Nic, need a lift?”

“Nah, I’ll be there…eventually.”

To Nicolette’s lack of movement, Bucky walked over to her spread-eagle frame and held out a hand to help her up. She obliged, firmly grasping his metal hand only to be pulled all the way over his shoulder, carried like a sack of potatoes.

“Well, we don’t have all day,” Steve shook his head as he sarcastically responded to Nic’s grunt upon her stomach folding over Buck’s shoulder.

“Okay, has everyone done their warmups?” Everyone responding in affirmation, Steve continued to the whole group in the largest training room. “Wanda, Vision, Thor, and Tony. You four will be outside today for the first 30 minutes – take advantage of the space. After that, come inside for hand-to-hand. Peter, Natasha, Clint, Sam. You four will start in this room then head outside after 30. Nic and Buck, you two will be with me.”

After having dispersed, Steve, Bucky and Nic headed to the small training room at the end of the hall. Nicolette was advancing so well in her reconditioning that periodically, Bucky would recite her activation words periodically during monotonous daily activities and during sparring practice. She had only successfully reached the ninth word out of personal fear she would lose control; forcing Bucky to stop reciting the words.

“Ok, start slow.” Steve advised the two, passing open finger gloves to both as he continued. “Give plenty of time between words. Good?” Both nodded as Steve exited the small white walled room.

Dwarfed by her opponent, Nicolette pulled her hands up, assuming a readied position. She gave a quick nod to Bucky prompting him to begin reciting in Russian.

“Zhelaniye.”

Nic quickly jabbed her right heel into his chest which he somewhat anticipated, recoiling enough to minimize the blow though not entirely avoiding. Catching her leg with his cybernetic limb, he threw it to the left, causing her to utterly lose balance.

“Recoil, Nic!” Steve had to yell just to be heard from the outside of the bullet proof glass door.

“Rzhavyy.”

“Don’t overdo it, Buck!”

Nic had to agree with Steve, those two words were rather close for her liking. A quick elbow into his ribs from her compromised situation was followed up with a rapid block to only the first of his two punches. While the Russian utterances were not causing Nic any concern about going into a trance yet; they did greatly distract from her usual coordinated and calculated hits. Catching his punch in her left hand, she didn’t let go as Bucky shouted the next word.

“Semnadtsat’.”

Still clenching his first from that last punch, despite the height difference, she whipped a right knife hand straight into his jaw. The blow forced him to take a step back almost slightly dazed.

“No head hits! You know that.” Steve’s chastise was fully deserved. That was an established rule during practice without head guards.

Shaking his head as if out of anger, Buck didn’t hesitate to say the next word.

“Rassvet.”

There was a loud noise coming from the group training outside, prompting Steve to divert attention.

“Buck, slow down! I’ll be right back!”

Nicolette took advantage of her opponent’s momentary distraction, lunging herself toward him and with a swift leap she was able to pull Nat’s signature move and topple him to the group, immobilizing his arm between her legs.

“Pech’.”

Nicolette started to feel her heart beat a little faster in response to the Russian words as opposed to the physical exertion. Still applying substantial torque on Bucky’s arm, she attempted to take a couple calculated breaths until she was interrupted by his persistent tapping indicating the pressure had become dangerously great. Releasing his arm, the two regained their original positions, slowly circling around each other. Nic nodded her head prompting the next activation word.

“Devyat’.”

She felt her own punch land a little harder out of the adrenaline her body was now supplying to accommodate the mental fight. Taking a deep breath, letting herself get too distracted, Bucky landed a strong side swing into her arm. The sting made her yell out as she swept her leg across his to which he anticipated thus avoided.

“Focus! Dobroserdechnyy.”

It was odd hearing Bucky’s mix of languages. Almost as if two separate people were speaking; the first being himself while the second, the Winter Soldier. Nicolette shook off her thoughts and quickly faked two punches and took advantage of Buck’s momentary distraction to attempt her leg sweep again. Success. He fell flat on his back prompting her to rush over, straddling her opponent, able to immobilize only his flesh arm.

“Vozvrashcheviye na rodinu.”

Nicolette let out an audible groan in response to her physical effects of the Russian – her heart rate picking up. Her pupils dilating slightly. With the increasing distractions, she needed both of her arms to immobilize his prosthetic. Unable to deliver any blows as both hands were occupied and feeling her advantage weaken, Buck quickly arched his back and twisted his hips, rotating the duo.

“Odin.”

Pupils dilated. heart rate at max. Nicolette squeezed her bent legs in between their torsos, firmly planting her feet onto his chest and thrusting with all her might. While that successfully catapulted Bucky back a few feet, once standing, she struggled fighting back the physical effects. Constricting and dilating with rapidity, she kept opening and closing her eyes, almost creating a strobe effect. Without warning, as her eyes snapped open, she saw Bucky’s leg forming a perfect roundhouse toward her shoulder. Trying to dodge the blow, she sank down under his leg.

“Nic?”

Nic looking up from the ground saw Buck had an apologetic look tainted with horror. Standing back up, Nic stretched her neck having just taken the blow straight to the head. Licking her lips, she tasted metal; feeling her lips with her fingers proved her thought true. He had drawn blood.

Glancing up from her now bloodied hand, she raised her eyebrows in a look of disapproval. There was nothing that set her off more than someone drawing her blood while sparring. She lunged toward him with even more ferocity than before landing a series of sturdy punches to the chest, abdomen, then oblique. Having caused him to stumble back slightly, she took hold of his shoulders and rammed a knee into his core. With his cybernetic arm, he hooked her knee upon taking the impact. They both paused, realizing the advantage had turned. Bucky looked into her eyes, ensuring pupils were constricted.

“Gruzovoy vagon.”

Her pupils immediately dilated; however, it was evident she was also fighting for control of her mind. Bucky shoved her knee into her body, thrusting her to the ground in the center of the black mats of the small room. She rolled to her left and began rising to see Steve walking down the hallway to finish his observation. Mid stare, her pupils fully dilated and her heart rate slowed. She took a step toward the door, reached for the handle and twisted the lock.

“Nic?”

She turned toward Bucky in the now locked room. Taking two rapid steps forward she was able to land one solid kick to his shoulder, recoiled midair and extended her leg for a successive kick to the head. Bucky blocked the kick with his prosthetic limb and realized she was under the trance.

“Fight it!”

Immediately Steve’s expression grew stern as he understood what had happen. Rushing toward Nicolette, Bucky pinned her against the wall with her feet off the ground. Staring directly into her eyes, he started to see the pupils constrict as she took a few calculated breaths.

“You with me?”

Allowing his calming voice fill her, she nodded obediently. Lightly releasing the pressure on her shoulder and hip, Bucky allowed her to slowly slide down the wall until her feet found solid ground. Nearly in control again, nearly fully calmed, Nic closed her eyes softly. There he was. The Winter Soldier. Her eyes quickly sprung open, revealing pupils dilated to maximum size; her soft facial expression had fallen empty. She was gone.

Nicolette forcefully pushed against his shoulders making him stumble back enough for her to land a solid punch to his jaw, splattering blood on the glass door.

“Buck!” Steve, jiggling the handle, realized they were locked in.

“She’s still there!” Buck turned to face his opponent with his right arm extended in truce, “Nic!”

She kicked his arm away and shoved him against the adjacent wall. Pulling his cybernetic limb across his own chest, she dug her thumb into the space just above his collarbone. The ensuing electrical pulse that coursed through Bucky’s body elicited a blood curdling scream whose horror was only rivaled by the uncontrollable twitching of his muscular body.

“Say it, now!” Steve was desperately pounding on the solid glass door as Natasha ran into view, shortly followed by Peter, Clint, and Sam. The five couldn’t get the door open as it had been made to withstand the forces of their sparring; made to _not_ give way to their strongest attempts. The loud repetitious thuds of Steve desperately thrusting his shield into the glass were not even resonating with those in the room.

Bucky’s still body fell from the wall; abruptly stopping just before collapsing onto the floor by shaking flesh and metal hands. Nicolette stumbled back as the horrifying scream elicited visualization of the video from her R2 file mixed with the Winter Soldier commanding her to complete her mission. Taking advantage of her momentary confusion, Buck struggled to pin her against the wall, thrusting his shoulder into her abdomen to immobilize her small frame inches from the floor. Given his apparent loss of strength, he only accomplished this due to Nic’s lack of fighting back.

Both bodies were pressed against the wall. Smelling the all too familiar stench of singed clothing and burnt skin, Nicolette’s gaze wandered to locate the source. Looking down to the head next to her abdomen, her confusion heightened as she recognized Buck’s sweaty dark brown locks covering his facial features. The shoulder applying moderate pressure into her abdomen, a haphazard combination of flesh and metal, was beginning to shake less and less as he regained control after the violent electrical shock. Thud!

Her eyes snapped to the sound. Another desperate jab of Steve’s shield into the glass, causing a minor crack to spider out from its impact. Making eye contact with Natasha, she could feel her pupils twitching vigorously between dilation and constriction; the abrupt changes of light influx starting to make her dizzy.

“Say it, Barnes!” Natasha was joining Steve’s desperate pleas as they all felt helpless watching from outside.

“Nic?” He looked into her eyes which rapidly darted toward the sound of the familiar voice only to find those the color of her eyes overcome by her pupil then suddenly return with dilation. “You with me, doll?”

Her nearly steady constricted pupil gaze fell upon his eyes; Nic’s face still void of expression. Bucky slowly lowered her until her feet found the floor. Unsteadily shifting his metal hand to her jawline, he cradled her face. The familiarity of the cool metal relaxed Nic prompting her to softly close her eyes. _Finish your mission._ Nicolette didn’t know if the voice in her head was her own, the Winter Soldier’s, or Madame B’s. She stared at the darkness induced by her eyelids as she took a sharp inhale, held her breath and snapped her eyes open. Pupils dilated to maximum size.

With what little space was between their bodies, time seemed to slow drastically; Nicolette’s body tensed as she recoiled for an upper cut to his jaw and began forcing her clenched fist upward with an empty expression. The gasp from the five on the other side of the door was heard equally as well as Steve’s frantic yell and final thrust of his shield, spreading the crack in the glass further. 

“Sputnik.” Bucky’s whisper was barely audible, even to him.

Nic’s arm fell limp in response to her deactivation. Her body followed suit, collapsing into Bucky as he welcomed the entirety of her weight. He pulled her lifeless body into his as he let his forehead fall against the white wall. He could hear the pleas from the other side of the door; but, he ignored them, slumping into the closest corner of the room with Nic still in his arms. Bucky readjusted her body so her legs fell between his outstretched and her head lay softly on his chest as if in a slumber. The blood from her lip was staining his shirt as his was probably dripping into her long beautiful hair; but, he didn’t care. He just wanted to hold her tight. Protect her. So, he did.

Glancing through the blood-stained glass door, Buck delivered an expression that equated to his internal feeling of having disappointed Nic. Understanding that he would not unlock the door and he didn’t desire any form of company, the onlookers slowly departed, resorting to their prior activities.

Not five minutes later, Nicolette slowly blinked her eyes and lifted her head from Bucky’s chest. Looking at the blood on the cracked door, the impact of her fist with his jaw immediately flashed before her eyes. Then his scream filled her ears. In horror, she spun around to see his eyes closed, head back against the wall.

“James!”

Her alarm frightened him out of his rest. Seeing her emotional, constricted eyes staring back at his, Bucky let a forced smile of defeat form across his face. Nic cupped her hand around his bloodied chin then willed her face to fall in shame. Without saying anything, Bucky wrapped his arms around her tighter. The interlacing of cold metal and warm flesh comforted Nic as she placed her head back onto his chest. Nic sat with Bucky there for a long while without moving; long after everyone else had completed their training. On his body; in his arms. Protected.

*** *** ***

Feeling the cool metal against her bare back contrasting with the warmth from the body in front of her, Nic was aroused from her sleep. Despite lacking organic musculature, she could almost feel his arm stretch with the rest of his body as he stirred from his slumber.

“Uh, Nic.” His voice was filled with part confusion, part concern. “Where are your clothes?”

The question made Nic take a quick inhalation. Realizing the only garment she had on was her underwear, quickly untangled her limbs from Buck’s as she hugged the covers up to her neck, struggling to recall the events from the night before. Backing away from his warm body, she was startled by the unwelcoming coolness of her side of the bed. Then, she vaguely remembered. In the middle of the night, she was rudely awoken by the cold sweat that had accumulated on her t-shirt and the back waistband of her sleeping shorts. She was surprised at the stillness of her body upon waking from the horrors; usually she jerks herself out of a nightmare as if in a fit of rage. That wasn’t the only difference between this nightmare and the others. Last night, she relived the events of sparring practice from the day before. However, unlike yesterday, she wasn’t under a trance, she _wanted_ to complete her mission. Wanted to kill the Winter Soldier. Wanted to kill Bucky.

“Nightmare sweats.” She was glad that was all that needed to be said for Bucky to fully understand; they both understood as they both endure the unfortunate experience. “Guess I was just so tired I didn’t think about…” freeing an arm from under the covers she gestured up and down her concealed body, “ _this_.”

Despite being used to seeing each other in minimalist workout clothing for their marathon runs, they always slept fully clothed as if it were some unspoken rule between them. Evidently, that rule was broken last night. Before either could provide a further comment on the matter, Nic’s nose filled with the unfortunately familiar stench of singed flesh and fabric.

Pulling the sheets over her eyes, Nic whined in remorse, “I can still smell it.”

“Smell what?”

“You,” Nicolette practically huffed out the syllable due to her overwhelming regret.

“Whoa, I don’t complain about your post-marathon stench.” Bucky’s fabricated offense morphed into sarcasm as he continued, “and we all know how potent that can be.”  
Initially laughing, Nicolette quickly corrected him, “no, not that.” She looked to her right, as her eyes emitted sadness as she elaborated, “the smell of electrical burnt…you…from yesterday.”

“It’s probably just leftovers lingering in your nose,” he offered the lame rationale to which Nicolette raised her eyebrows in evident lack of belief.

“How is it?” Nic gestured to his chest, where she pressed his metallic arm across his body.

“It’s…good,” Bucky gave a slight smile in her direction.

“Please be honest,” Nicolette gave a genuine look of sympathy, hoping he was being entirely truthful; but, she knew that kind of pain must have elicited a lasting injury.

Bucky’s smile fell as he pushed the covers down to his waist and lifted his t-shirt, revealing a swath of light red skin across his chest, spanning to his abdomen. Nicolette freed her left arm from the covers that were now bunched under both arms, across her chest. Leaning on her right elbow, Nic slowly touched the burns across his chest which had already begun to heal, no longer open wounds but fresh skin. Knowing she caused this degree of damage and pain, her eyes welled up with tears.

“You know how fast I heal.”

Nic persistently shook her head as his scream from the pain incessantly rang in her ears. “I’ll never forget the pain I caused you.”

“I’ve been through worse.”

While she knew the validity of his statement, she wasn’t comforted. Nic slowly pulled his shirt over the wound, unable to bear the sight any longer. He pulled her into his arms, against his chest in an attempt at comforting her. It helped. The same contrast of his warm body and cool metal would always give her the same sense of protection; however, this time, it was also tainted with guilt.

“How did you do that, though?”

Nic took a deep breath, knowing that, per Stark, Bucky was the only person whom she was obligated to not tell. However, given the circumstance, she felt as if she owed Buck something. “Well…it’s the Stark-made Committee’s Contingency Plan for you.” Nic wasn’t sure how he would react; therefore, she elected to not leave her safe position on his chest.

“Shit, it works,” his response had a bit of laughter. At least he wasn’t angry.

Nicolette perched back up on her right elbow, ensuring the covers were pulled over her chest with her left hand. “I’m so sorry. I-I want to promise I’ll never do it again; but, I don’t know if I can trust my own mind.” Her speech was becoming more rapid as her emotions elevated.

“You were close to having control,” Bucky softened his voice as he placed two fingers under her chin. “I think the kick that I landed too high set you over the edge.” Tilting her chin slightly upward, he glided his thumb over the nearly healed cut on her lip. “I’m sorry, doll.”

“You’re okay.” Nic rested her head on Bucky’s pillow, with his metal arm fitting perfectly in the curvature of her neck, facing him.

“I guess we’re even, then.” Both let out a light laugh as Bucky rolled onto his left side, wrapping his free arm around Nic’s small frame wrapped in sheets. The two sat there in silence, with Nic resting her head on his chest, soothed by his heartbeat and rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.

Truly regretting having to break the mood, Nic spoke softly, “as much as I’d love to lay here longer, I’m dying to pee.”

Bucky smiled as he rolled out of bed and walked to her dresser, “I’ll get you some clothes.”

“Thanks.” Nic took the clothes and quickly changed while Buck was in the bathroom, hesitantly adding, “and sorry if my lack of clothing was, uh, awkward.” Nic could hear him lightly laugh as he was finishing up.

“I wouldn’t say awkward,” he opened the door and leaned on the edge of the door frame. “But, I guess we both have our…oddities.”

Pushing past him, Nic rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion, adding, “yeah, _oddities_.” With a purposeful, sarcastic laden glance toward his metal arm, she closed the door.

As he left the bedroom, Nic could hear him laughing past a mumbled, “dork.”

Having walked out into the kitchen, Nic saw Thor’s hammer assuming its usual centered location on the island. Without addressing anyone in the room, after snagging a few strawberries, she hopped onto the counter, and picked up the hammer. Thor, Sam, Wanda, and Bucky looked on curiosity at Nic’s silent escapade.

Facing Thor, she tossed the hammer, flipping in end over end. “Your hammer’s broken.”

Immediately understanding that she insinuated the loss of her worth due to her actions of the previous sparring practice, he let out a soft laugh. “It does not put as much weight on actions as it does on intentions.”

“Sure felt like she meant it, alright,” Bucky sarcastically added, taking an obnoxious gulp of coffee.

“Barnes, I-”

Before Wanda could finish her sentence, there was a loud splat as a strawberry exploded on Bucky’s t-shirt. With a rivalling level of sarcasm, Nic shot back, “oh, sorry. It wasn’t my _intention_ to nail you with a strawberry.”

“Shorty’s got an arm,” Sam was thoroughly enjoying the entire episode.

“I know,” Buck responded to Nic as he rounded the island and set his coffee down next to Nic. “It was really your intent to get me to take my shirt off.” Staring at Nic with those penetrating steel blue eyes, he slowly slipped his strawberry stained shirt off before dramatically walking down the east hall to the mud room. There was an eruption of laughter at his charade by everyone in the room.


	21. First Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protective Bucky isn't a fan of Nic's ways...

“Nic, come on,” Natasha nodded her head in the direction of the south hall where the rest of the group already made their way.

“I-I wasn’t sure if I should-”

Before Nicolette could finish explaining her worries, Nat interrupted. “Of course you can come. You need to see how we operate around here.” Curling up one side of her mouth in a half smile, she continued, “eventually you’ll be on one of these missions, too.”

Nic felt a warm flutter build up in her core, excited about the potential of participating in a mission with the group. All her prior missions were solo adventures; however, now that she had gained the trust of her house mates, the idea of a joint mission was exciting.

With a smile plastered on her face, she followed Nat down the south hall to the conference room where Dr. Banner scheduled a meeting. Nic had met Banner before during two of his impromptu visits with Stark on various tech. Discretely entering the room, Nic noticed not everyone was present. Glancing counterclockwise around the room, Nic saw Wanda, Tony, Banner standing opposite of the door in front of the projector screen, Bucky, then Steve. Nicolette took the seat next to Wanda as Nat sat one seat away, nearest to Steve.

Wrapping up light conversations, Steve corralled the group’s attention. “Okay, Banner. We’re all here.”

“I stumbled upon some startling information that I ran by Fury,” Banner was fidgeting with a folder full of papers as he continued. “He said it was alarming enough to necessitate action.”

“Necessitate action?”

“Let me show you what the problem is and then we’ll figure out what to do.” Banner sat down as he passed the file folder to Steve in response to his request for elaboration. “There’s a professor at Columbia University, Dr. Versed, who’s been obsessed with his own twist on eugenics for quite some time but recently hit SHIELD’s radar and not it a positive way.”

“There are many people who obsess over that,” Tony nonchalantly began, “what’s so special about him?”

“He’s acting upon his obsession.” Steve and Bucky were thumbing through various documents within the file as Banner continued. “To him, there are three societal castes: alpha, beta, and omega. Alphas have optimum physical and intellectual abilities. Per Versed, the physical aspect isn’t the same as societal attractiveness; it’s a collection of physical attributes that would help one passing on their genes. Intellectual abilities – self-explanatory. He believes alphas are vital for a society to not only survive, but thrive, and should be rewarded as such.” Natasha snagged some of the paperwork from the file and began reading while Banner elaborated. “He calls most people betas – necessary for society survival; however, their main focus is to enact upon the grand plans of the alphas. Betas either have the physical or intellectual optimum, but not both. Omegas make up the second largest caste in Versed’s mind. He splits this into two concepts, positive and negatives. Positive Omegas are those without physical or intellectual optimums that do the necessary dirty work but otherwise don’t contribute to society; Negative Omegas are criminals orthose whom he deems have criminal potential.”

Tony, still relatively unimpressed by the explanation, inquired once more. “You said he’s acting upon this, though. How?”

“He’s convinced there is a way to label everyone based upon genetic make-up. Especially, outliers.”

“Outliers?”

Banner turned to Steve to answer the Captain’s question, “the uncategorizable individuals. Those that surpass human attributes physically or intellectually.”

“So,” Tony continued his sentence by simply gesturing between everyone in the room.

“Yes,” Banner answered. “Basically, everyone that lives at this compound. But, also, some of the most prized scientists, revolutionary thinkers, Olympic athletes.”

“Even if he was successful in labeling these people,” Natasha, having completed perusing through the files slid them over to Nic as she finished her question, “then what?”

“He hopes to eliminate them. The outliers and negative omegas – including those whom he deems as potential threats.”

Steve leaned back in his chair, heaving out a heavy sigh. “This is disturbingly close to Zola’s algorithm.”

“It was Versed’s praise of Zola’s work that raised a red flag initially,” Banner agreed.

Going through the paperwork himself, Tony paused upon one scientific article Dr. Versed released, centering it in the round table. “Son of a gun’s done it.”

“Done what?” Nic was glad Wanda inquired because she hadn’t understood Tony’s frustration.

“Yes,” Banner responded to Tony prior to elaborating, pointing to the centered article. “Years back, he talked about making a piece of biotech that would identify and eliminate his targets. Well, I think he’s succeeded.” Banner snagged a couple other articles that seemed unrelated to the topic at hand and moved them to the center as well. “His research seems scattered across various fields of study; however, I believe they are all to get this piece of tech up and running.”

“So, it’s a machine?”

“Not entirely.” Banner stood up and pressed a button to prompt the screen to rise, revealing a white board he used to answer Nat’s question as he narrated the drawings. “There’s a device housed in his lab at the university that will emit electromagnetic waves through the air that will thrust a highly advanced electronegative viral plasmid across campus.” The only person who seemed to understand was Tony as evidenced by the expression of utter confusion plastered across everyone else’s face. “This machine spreads a virus that kills outliers and negative omegas.”

“Let me guess, the rate of infection is high enough that by the time he infects the campus, it’s too late for pretty much everyone else.” Banner simply nodded in response to Tony’s question.

“How much time do we have?”

Shrugging to Steve’s question, Banner offered, “I’m pretty certain it’s nearly ready. There’s been an increased EMF reading for a week now at his lab. So, any day now?”

“Or when there’s an on-campus event that’ll bring in an additional _tens_ of _thousands_ of people,” Stark shook his head upon his realization. “I’m scheduled to speak at an international science conference there in two weeks.”

In agreement with Tony’s insinuation, Nat confirmed, “when the infection rate would be higher?” Banner and Stark both nodded their heads in affirmation.

“So, what?” Wanda, genuinely worried and curious, asked, “we go in and destroy the thing?”

“Yes,” Banner elaborated, “but, given its large electromagnetic emittance, we must do so with great caution.”

Cocking an eyebrow up, Natasha struggled to see how something so large could be destroyed in a clean manner. “How?”

“Remember how Pym Technologies Headquarters was destroyed?” Everyone except Nic nodded in affirmation to Banner’s question. He removed a small yellow disc in a clear cassette from his pocket as he continued, “this is a smaller version Pym created.”

“Uh,” Nic began, now wanting to interrupt but clueless regarding the building’s destruction. “Can someone catch me up?”

“With this tech,” Banner held up the small cassette, “an area with a 20-foot diameter will be blown as if with C4 but leaving no trace of destruction aside from vacant foundation as it collapses in on itself.”

“Oh, with the Pym particle – reduction of the distance between atoms while retaining the originating force despite the size decrease.” Nicolette was smiling as all the research she had done regarding her new housemates had finally paid off. Seeing everyone’s surprised reaction to her knowledge regarding the subject, she quickly defended, “what? I do my homework.” Glancing to her right after feeling a nudge to her elbow, she saw Wanda attempting a discrete grin of approval.

“Buck and I can slip the disc near the device,” Steve confidently began as Bucky nodded in agreement. “All we need to know is the exact location.”

“It’s more complicated than that,” Banner, shrugging his shoulders hesitantly responded. “First, with the strength of the EMF, anyone with metal is exempt.”

“So, frosty and myself.” Nic was convinced it was a personal goal of Tony’s to see how many times he could use Bucky’s nickname.

“Nat and I can go, then.”

“Steve, it’s highly protected. I realize you guys are experts in hacking into places; however, for the same reason I think Wanda shouldn’t go around the thing, I think we should try to use a little tech as possible.” Banner started to seem a little on edge as he continued, “I don’t know _how _sensitive this thing is. But, I do know that if we set it off, it’s a catastrophe.”__

__Natasha spoke up, almost offended by Banner’s insinuation she was reliant upon technology. “You really think I need some fancy tech to complete a mission?”_ _

__“Versed is the only one with access to this lab – retinal scan, palm reading, password – I know you can defy _that_. However, this guy practically lives there. If he even feels like someone is remotely onto him or attempting to compromise his plans, he very well may set the thing off.” Banner had stood up out of desperation of getting his point across. “We need to be discreet. This guy is targeting people like us – he probably not only knows our names, but also our faces.”_ _

__“What a better way to blend in on campus than as a student?” Shrugging her shoulders, Wanda offered, “I don’t think I’m as recognizable. I’ll go.”_ _

__“I agree with the first part. However,” Banner apologetically glanced toward Wanda, “I’m worried your faint electrical field may aggravate the device. I’m not comfortable solely because I can’t rule out any adverse interference.”_ _

__Nicolette mentally debated whether she should offer ideas; however, assuming she would be rejected, she chose not to interject. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Natasha smiling and nodding as if she knew what Nic was thinking. In the midst of the silence, Nic ultimately chose to voice her offering._ _

__“I can go.”_ _

__“No.” Buck’s immediate declination prompted all eyes to fall upon him._ _

__Feeling slightly offended, Nic spat back, “and why not?”_ _

__There was silence as he struggled to come up with a valid reason. Steve spoke up first, which surprised Nicolette. “Hate to disagree with you, Buck; but, I think she’s our best bet.”_ _

__Seeing as everyone was leaning towards Steve’s rationale, Bucky ultimately chose to negotiate, “then she’s not going alone.”_ _

__There was communal silence as everyone silently agreed Nic shouldn’t go on her first mission alone; however, they struggled to identify a discrete secondary._ _

__Shrugging her shoulders, Nic softly offered, “Peter?”_ _

__“Too young,” Nat challenged, “he’d cause suspicion.”_ _

__“Little brother who wanted to come with his big sister who needed to ask her professor a question,” Nicolette finally felt confident. She was quite the expert in coming up with impenetrable, impromptu lies for the sake of a mission._ _

__Steve was the next to challenge, “he’d probably recognize you’re not his student.”_ _

__“Whoa,” Buck began, staring with surprise at Steve. “Who said she’d even be talking with this guy?”_ _

__“It may be the only way in.” Banner, finally back in his seat, rubbed his eyes vigorously as his glasses lay on the table in front of him._ _

__Nicolette donned her best innocent voice, as if adopting the role of the college student speaking to a college professor. “I have a question about a biotech test tomorrow; but, Professor Shaw isn’t in her office.” Standing up, she reached forward and snagged one of the scientific articles written by Versed titled _The Efficacy of Viral Dispersion via Electromagnetism_. “And, given your,” Nic paused for dramatic effect and subtly biting her bottom lip, “impressive work on electromagnetic viral dispersion, I figured you were the most qualified.” She smiled slyly, nearly wrapping up her charade, as she softly looked down, “not to mention I’d love to hear more about your latest works.”_ _

__Tony slowly clapped in approval of Nicolette’s act as Natasha reassured Steve and Buck’s hesitance, “oh, she’s good.”_ _

__Not entirely convinced, Bucky rested his elbows on the table and responded to Natasha while directly facing Nic, “and how would that get her into his lab?”_ _

__Mimicking his position, Nic rested her elbows on the table and looked deep into those steel blues, “I have my ways.” Her gaze shifted to Nat as she donned a sly smile._ _

__“She can do it,” Nat relaxed back in her seat, exhibiting utter confidence._ _

__There was silence for a while before Steve finally stood up and quickly spoke as he was leaving the conference room, “tomorrow at daybreak.”_ _

__Trying to conceal her true excitement, Nic turned to her right, “Tony. Banner. Teach me everything you two know about this guy’s tech.” The both nodded in approval of her desire to learn as everyone else stood to exit the room._ _

__“She’s seriously going?” Bucky was standing behind his chair, having barely moved out of disbelief as a look of horror covered his face._ _

__Before Nic could vocalize anything, Wanda sarcastically inquired, “you think you’re more qualified in seducing Dr. Versed?” Not waiting for an answer, Wanda exited the room, smiling to herself._ _

__Following Banner and Stark, Nic looked toward Buck who was the last in the room and gave him a quick wink. Completely failing at trying to hide a smile, Bucky rolled his eyes as Nic turned toward the hallway._ _

____

***   ***   ***

“Can you two put the glasses on now so I can test the feed?”

Tony’s voice could be heard through the earpieces worn by Nic, Peter, Nat, and Banner. Having been in the van for two hours awaiting a visual on Dr. Versed, Nic and Peter were now prepping their trek to the now present professor’s office. Nicolette slipped on a pair of thin, black-rimmed glasses that relayed a video feed of her line of sight back to the van and the compound where Tony, Steve, and Bucky remained.

“Nic’s are on,” Banner responded to Tony as he clicked around on the various computers in the back of the van. “We have visual here.”

“Same,” Stark succinctly confirmed. “Peter, _what’re_ you doing? Glasses.”

“Oh, right, sorry.” Peter scrambled as he slipped on a grey wide-rimmed pair of glasses with the same tech as Nic’s. Upon receiving confirmation of the van and compound’s visuals, Peter discretely exited the van with Nic in tow as they made their way to the office.

“Peter,” Tony immediately spat out in surprise, “did you seriously bring your own backpack?”

“Well, yeah. I have a test tomorrow and figured if there’s downtime I could review my notes.”

“Did he seriously just say that?” Tony disbelief was permeating through the earpieces. “Make sure there’s nothing readily identifiable on the bag.”

“There’s a small, pin. But, I don’t-” Before Peter could finish his response, Nic was already removing the Spider-man pin from the strap of his backpack despite his protest.

“Peter! Eyes!” Bucky’s growl was a sharp scold prompting Nic to look up from Peter’s shoulder strap to his face. Immediately his eyes darted away from their previous focus of Nic’s chest; she had unzipped her jacket slightly per Nat’s recommendation revealing more cleavage than preferred. Peter’s face flushed as Nic raised an eyebrow at him, half in disapproval, half in entertainment.

“S-sorry, I-uh-”

Tony’s voice of reason rang through the line, “he’s right. Spriderling, she’s supposed to be your big sister, not your high school crush.”

“So, did everyone just get that show?” Given the video feed of the glasses, Nic assumed she knew the answer; however, her hunch was confirmed upon hearing the communal affirmation through the earpiece. Turning back toward their destination, she donned a strong tone of sarcasm, “wonderful.”

“Barnes, sure you’ll be able to handle what’s coming up?” Nat seemed thoroughly entertained while also genuinely curious. “I doubt Versed will be that discreet.”

“I’m fine.” His tart response made Nic smile in amusement.

Looking straight at Peter to ensure everyone observing in the van and at the compound could see her, Nic became more serious. “If we could tone down the chit chat, that’d be greatly appreciated. Remember, not all of us are used to having additional voices in their head.” There was a swath of agreement through the earpieces, primarily coming from Steve.

“Okay, Peter,” Steve authoritative voice was succinct and confident. “Wait on this bench; if we need you to intervene, I’ll notify you.”

Nic was starting to genuinely wonder if Bucky had honestly responded to Natasha’s prior question regarding handling the intimacy of the mission. She had succeeded in getting Versed alone in his lab, having used her wit and seduction to wrap the professor around her finger. He had revealed exactly where the secure entrance to his electromagnetic device was, located in the back of the lab, and Nic knew the golden window to make her move was quickly approaching. However, with every advance Nic allowed Versed to make, she could hear occasional groans of disapproval from Bucky. Mentally rolling her eyes, Nic held her breath as she knew Versed’s next question.

“I haven’t shown it off to anyone; however, I feel an intellectual like yourself would truly appreciate it’s…” the professor took a dramatic purposeful pause as he slipped a finger towards Nic’s face, gently caressing her cheek. “Beauty.”

“Rogers,” Nic struggled to maintain her strategic look of innocence as Natasha’s scolding voice came through the earpiece. “Keep that animal muzzled.” Nicolette was thankful someone finally sought to silence Bucky’s vocalized disapproval.

Nicolette perked up, closing the gap between herself and the professor, “I-I’d be honored.” A sour taste was left in her feigned appreciation of the professor’s works; however, this is exactly what she needed.

The older professor grasped her hand and led her further into the lab. He loosened his grip as he began digging through his pockets which heightened Nicolette’s alarm although she was certain to not physically exhibit her concern. “No metal,” he smirked and gestured to a EMF warning sign to the right of the closest door. Versed slowly slipped off his belt as Nic began ridding her pockets of various electronics.

“The belt was unnecessary,” Tony was now the one voicing disapproval. Nic could hear his eyes roll through the earpiece. “This guy’s a dog.”

Versed reached to Nic’s glasses and slowly slid them from her face; she unsuspectingly took them from his hands, strategically lingering her fingers against his. She folded the spectacles and perched them on her bag so the visual field of the camera would include the door they entered. Everyone in the van and at the compound could now clearly see both Versed and Nic.

“Those are,” the professor paused, continuing with a suspiciously quizzical look, “non-prescription glasses.”

“He’s onto her,” Bucky growled into her ear, “Peter-”

“Buck, stop-” Steve was quickly interrupted by Peter.

“Is that a go for me?”

“No!” Steve’s demand was sharp.

Nicolette’s wit was one step ahead of Versed, though. She was confident; however, she really wished the continuous interruptions would cease. “I-,” she purposefully stuttered as she slipped a loose strand of hair behind her ear to collect with the remainder of her wavy brown locks. “I just don’t like people assuming I’m no more than another pretty face.”

“Nailed it.” While Nat’s reassurance reestablished Nic’s confidence, she knew it was primarily for Bucky’s benefit.

As Versed gave some sly response about her intellect, he turned his back, diverting his focus to unlocking the various security features prior to opening the door. Taking advantage of her momentary privacy, Nic turned the glasses and lightly tapped her earpiece to indicate her concern about the tech’s integrity despite the electromagnet.

“It should be fine; minor interference at worst,” Banner reassured as Natasha added.

“We’ll need some code word so you can indicate when the Pym disc is planted since we can’t see you anymore.”

“‘Avenge’?’

“Something a little more discreet maybe?” Bucky’s sarcastic response to Tony’s recommendation was palpable.

“How about ‘spider’, guys?”

“Seriously?” Nat continued, spatting into everyone’s ears, “can someone come up with something that’s easily worked into a conversation?”

“Right this way, my lady,” Versed was holding out his hand to lead Nic into the deepest room of the lab. The two moved out of the camera’s line of vision as Bucky’s sigh of discomfort filled her ear.

“Nic, try to plant it as quickly as possible,” Steve’s voice was a mixture of controlled urgency. “We lost visual.”

Silence fell upon the van and compound as everyone desperately tried to identify every movement Versed and Nic made solely on the sounds emitted through the small piece of tech in her ear.

“Peter?” Stark continued upon an affirmative response. “Get into the lab; be on standby.”

“This is incredible,” Nic could be heard in awe, presumably walking around the device. There was a light squeak from Nic followed by a muffled ‘oomf.’

“Nic?” Buck gave no attempt at stifling his concern. “You okay?”

All ears were open and mouths were closed as everyone knew any response she gave would have to be subtle.

“Spider!” Nicolette nearly screamed, followed by a sharp gasp.

Versed’s voice was heard next, “what? Where?” There was scuffling coming across the communications line.

“Was that the signal?”

“Nic.” Steve’s calm voice responded, “can you confirm by saying it again?” There was a communal frustration as they realized they never solidified a code word.

“Sorry,” Nic innocently began, “I thought I saw a _spider_. I really hate _spiders_.”

“We get the idea, short stack.” Tony’s annoyance was cut off as he gave the next order, “Peter, now.”

“Oh, uh-didn’t mean to interrupt…” Peter’s shock factor didn’t need to be fabricated. As he opened the cracked door to the electromagnetic device, he along with all those watching the video feed saw Nic sitting precariously on the edge of a circular metal machine with Versed standing between her legs. Versed’s hand quickly fell from the back of her head as Nicolette hopped off the machine and began muttering explanations.

“Professor, I, uh,” Nicolette’s surprise was solely for her charade. “This is my brother. Mom made me pick him up from school before I came up to study.” Nicolette quickly grabbed her bag and shoved Peter ahead of her out the lab door, “thank you again…”

“Don’t be a stranger, now.”

Nicolette mirrored the professor’s sly smile as she responded, “yes, professor.”

***   ***   ***

As the van door flung open, Nic was met by Natasha’s raised eyebrow. “I thought you said you’ve never been kissed.”

“Ah,” Nicolette lifted a finger as she corrected Nat, “I said _I_ have never kissed someone.”

“ _Never been kissed_?”

Starks shock was reverberated by Peter’s, “ _you_? Really?”

Realizing that their conversation was utterly public at this point, Nic slammed the van door shut as Banner began driving.

“But, come on.” Leave it to Tony to begin a dispute on this topic. “His lips on yours is a kiss no matter how you look at it.”

Trying to shove her embarrassment to the side, she removed her glasses and looked at the lenses straight on, staring at Tony through the camera. “Who said he kissed me on the lips?”

The better part of half an hour was spent on discussing the validity of Nic’s declaration of never having kissed someone. Ultimately, they all agreed with her statement; however, they also determined it came with a few caveats. The next 30 minutes were used to discuss the details regarding the debriefing that was to follow upon the actual detonation of the Pym particle which successfully eliminated the current threat and future threats regarding Dr. Versed.

“I’m surprised you haven’t chimed in, yet, Barnes.”

There was an odd silence on the line after Nat’s comment.

“He, uh, left,” Steve seemed unusually hesitant given his continuous exhibition of confidence. In response to a bombardment of questions by the van group, he elaborated. “When Peter walked in on Versed and Nic, he just got up and left.”

“Where to?”

“I don’t know, Nat,” Steve somberly responded.

Nic kept silent despite having a few potential locations in mind. Fortunately, they were already pulling onto the compound, giving Nic a few minutes to track him down before debriefing. She immediately piled out of the van first, making a beeline for the door.

“Nic. Conference room in 10 minutes. Fury doesn’t like being kept waiting.”

Nic nodded to Nat’s update as the garage door closed behind her. First, she checked the training rooms to no avail. She didn’t think Buck would be there; however, the training hallway was on her way to the lower basement floors. As she opened the door, despite the piercing darkness of the room, she could still readily see his large frame slumped in an inground tub.

“Figured I could find you in here,” Nic offered a smile even though she doubted he could see since the door had closed. Buck shifted his legs to Nic’s left, allowing her to slip into the dry tub next to him. He was being rather quiet which was unusual around her now. Nic was always cautious about prying, fully understanding the sensitivity of his past; however, she knew they were down to mere minutes before they were both needed in the conference room. “What’s going on?”

Nic was pleasantly surprised when Bucky responded with minimal hesitation. “I wasn’t entirely comfortable with you going on this mission. Especially when I couldn’t be there.”

“You know I can hold my own.” Nic spoke with a lighthearted voice; however, she was starting to get offended he seemed to always think she was incapable.

“But you shouldn’t have to.”

“This isn’t some guy at a bar or restaurant hitting on me. This is my job, now.” Involuntarily rolling her eyes, Nic was glad it was so dark. “Eventually you’ll have to get comfortable with me going on missions without you.”

“I just don’t like not being able to protect you _given_ something goes wrong.”

Nicolette immediately felt a small amount of guilt course through her body. It wasn’t Buck’s lack of confidence in her abilities, but his innate desire to protect her. She still believed her prior statement was true, it would take time before he would grow accustomed to the idea of he and Nic on separate missions. However, until then, she would relish his protective nature. After all, this foreign desire of his was something she never experienced. But, it was nice.

“Uh, Nic?” Bucky could tell Nic had stood up and was making her way to his side of the basin; however, not being able to see her very well, he held out his hands in the dark. She grasped both of his hands in hers, spreading his arms slightly as she sat in his lap.

“Then protect me for the next two minutes until we need are needed in debriefing.” Nic saw the side of his mouth curl up into a half smile as he intertwined his arms around her body perpendicularly situated with his. Her knees were bent against the basin, underneath his metallic limb. Given her added height, she curled her head above his shoulder into his neck with her nose against his jawline. Nic enjoyed this closeness; it was intimate but not sexual. That’s what she told herself until her thoughts were interrupted by a fluttering below her stomach.


	22. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flirtatious fluff and matchmaking Nat.

“He’s come a long way since you arrived.”

Nic wasn’t entirely sure what to make of Steve’s seemingly random conclusion. She was standing next to America’s golden boy as he and Bucky just concluded their round of vigorous sparring in one of the smaller training rooms. Nic and Steve were watching the former assassin stretch for his next pending bout from outside the room through a new glass door, replacing the one that had been cracked days ago.

“Yeah, I guess. I mean he seems more focused. Landing more substantial hits – not just full of rage.”

“No, I mean outside of the gym.”

“Oh?”

“It’s almost like having the old Buck back, the pre-war Buck.” There was a genuine smile forming on Steve’s face, as if reminiscing the olden days when both super soldiers were just boys. “You’re good for him. And I appreciate it.” He looked toward Nic and nodded his head in appreciation.

“Oh, I, uh,” Nicolette felt her face flushing although she wasn’t entirely sure why. “I feel like he’s helping me more than the other way around.”

“You two are good together.”

Nic stood there in silence, attempting to dissect Steve’s last comment as he took a drink from his water and wiped away the sweat buildup with a fresh towel. Did he mean as fighting partners, friends? Or something more? Nicolette decided to settle with the former proposition as Steve opened the door and gestured for Nic to enter.

“Ok, Buck. Go through all the words. Don’t wait for her affirmation this time, though.”

A devilish smile formed across Bucky’s face upon hearing Steve’s commands. Rogers exited the small room as he watched on as Nic started circling her opponent who was wasting no time.

“Zhelaniye.”

Nic threw a successful right hook.

“Rzhavyy.”

Bucky threw a sharp kick to Nic’s side. She stopped it and firmly hooked her elbow under his knee.

“Semnadtsat’.”

Nic thrusted his leg upward, landing him on his back.

“Rassvet.”

Her knee made a beeline to Bucky’s crotch; with the speed at which he was reciting the Russian, she wasn’t going easy on him. Bad idea.

“Pech’. Devyat’.”

Having blocked her knee; Bucky, still on his back, thrusted a foot into her abdomen, throwing her back.

“Dobroserdechnyy. Vozvrashcheviye na rodinu.”

Yelling Russian profanities interspersed with his name, Nic started circling Bucky once more as if she was stalking prey.

“Odin.”

“Rogers, Sam brought his wings in the house!”

Steve shook his head in response to Tony’s childlike complaint. No falcon wings inside was a strict rule after the last incident that obliterated a load bearing wall.

“Dammit, Sam!” Steve turned his focus back to the training room, wanting to ensure Nic was in control before he left. “Buck, say it! I need to go.”

“Gruzovoy vagon.”

“I’m good, Steve!” Nic yelled, primarily to ensure Steve could hear through the glass door, but also as a release to her internal fight.

Steve turned to go deal with his misbehaving children as Bucky and Nic continued sparring.

“Is that Wanda?” _Thud._

After letting out an involuntary oomf from the blow to her stomach, Nic belted out from her position on the floor, “that was a cheap shot, Barnes.” He knew Wanda wasn’t there; and honestly, Nic wasn’t sure why she even fell for his elementary ploy. But, she did.

Now it was Bucky’s turn to walk circles around Nic, waiting for an opportune time to pounce. “Oh, resorting to last names, now are we?”

“Don’t even think about it.” She managed to force the words past gritted teeth as his simple insinuation of saying her last name was enough to set Nic off.

“What?”

Rolling her eyes at his arrogant demeanor, Nic stood back up. “It’s distracting.”

“Well, you need to learn to fight despite _any_ distraction.”

She took a sloppy rage-filled swing. Miss. “Keep up that sass and I’ll start distracting _you_.”

“I’d like to see you try, Miss Dokorevich.”

How she desired to make that cocky smile plastered across his face her next target. Bucky knew Nicolette utterly despised her last name and now he was utilizing that knowledge as leverage in a fight. One swift blow to his legs brought him down as he let out a light laugh in response to her rage.

“That move gets you every time. When will you learn…” Nicolette paused as she took a knee a couple feet away allowing him to hear her upcoming whisper. “Soldat?” Despite the smile still gracing his face, Nic saw a new fire burn in his eyes. This was going to be an entertaining match.

Strategically kicking his legs upward, Buck landed on his feet in one swift movement. Nicolette stood still as he made his way slowly circumventing her stance. Suddenly, she felt his warm breath against her neck and his unrestrained hair tickle her shoulder. In deep, rough Russian, Bucky whispered the words he was forced to recite after activation dozens of times before, indicating to Nic there would be no mercy.

“Ya gotov otvechat.” _(Ready to comply.)_

In a twisted way, this fueled Nic’s drive. A strong elbow to his core landed on its target; however, he barely budged. Nic willed a smile to form discreetly on her face; let the fun begin. Nic felt a firm metallic grasp around her wrist right before she was forced to the ground, face first. With her free arm, she barely broke the fall and rolled out from under Bucky as the brunt of his weight came crashing down. What ensued was an intricate series of hits, blocks, and mangling of flesh and metal as the two super soldiers grappled in a seemingly choreographed dance.

Standing with her back pressed against his front, Nicolette sought advantage of the typically compromised situation. She wrapped both arms above her head, anchoring one hand within the back collar of Bucky’s work out shirt and the other firmly grasping his flesh and metal mixed joint. Sinking her body to the floor, she yelled as she pulled his weight over her right shoulder, flipping the man feet over head, landing abruptly on his back. She quickly straddled him, only able to pin his metal arm between her legs with the rest of his body. She fiercely thrusted her forearm under his chin attempting to restrict airflow; however, despite her failed attempts with her free hand, his flesh arm prevented the necessary pressure to ensure a tap out.

Ever so slightly relaxing her pressure, one side of Nic’s mouth curled up into a seductive grin. Likewise, she loosened the grip with her legs, shifting her bare feet to the inside of his thighs. Leaning over her opponent, she gently collapsed her heaving chest onto her opponent’s, not sparing any potential physical contact. She lowered her face towards Bucky’s, hovering her lips dangerously close to his. From the proximity of her chest and her arm, Nic could feel his heart rate increase despite the decrease in physical exertion. She slowly moved her lips to the left, grazing his jawline, eliciting a slow pleasure induced exhalation. As her lips slowly moved higher, so did the pressure of her feet, slowly moving up his thighs, getting dangerously close to the inseam of his pants. Upon reaching his ear, Nic paused then closed her mouth, pinning the very edge of his earlobe between her teeth. She slowly released and spoke in the softest, most seductive whisper she could conjure.

“I’ve imagined you between my legs in more ways than one.”

The unsteady breath that her words elicited indicated she had Bucky right where she wanted him. There was a systemic relaxation throughout his body. Just enough for Nic to unexpectedly shift his flesh arm under her knee, completely immobilizing the limb. Reclaiming her original perch above his chest, Nicolette thrusted her forearm under his chin once more with adequate force. Within one minute, the stone-cold former assassin was tapping out. Nic sat up to release the pressure on his neck and freed his arms; although, she was still perched above him, sitting on her heels with her knees on either side of his hips.

“I’d say my distractions were successful,” Nicolette gave Bucky a quick wink to emphasize her manipulative success. Lying with his arms outstretched, still catching his breath, Bucky smiled and inadvertently licked his lips in response. Out of everything that just occurred, Nic was surprised that now she was beginning to feel that warmth rise in her core, almost a primitive desire or yearning. Foreign, yet pleasant.

“Nicolette, Natasha just made it back from the grocery store and is requesting your presence in the kitchen.” The polite Scottish voice interrupted Nic’s thoughts which was probably for the best.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.”

As Nicolette responded to the AI, Bucky sat up and placed his hands firmly on her waist. He leaned in close, allowing Nic to feel his breath against her neck and slyly whispered, “better be careful. That’s a two-way road, doll.” Her heart rate quickened under the vibrations induced from his speech against her neck.

Nicolette was familiar with Bucky’s strength; however, she was still impressed with the ease at which he lifted her from his lap and steadied her on her feet.

“Uh-huh,” she somehow mustered a semi-poised response despite her racing thoughts. Now smiling, Nic held out her hand to help him up as she continued. “We’ll see.”

Nic’s face immediately flushed as they walked out straight into Steve thinking about how long he could have been standing there. The quizzical smirk on his face didn’t help her cause either. “I, uh, gotta go help Nat.”

Nicolette all but ran down the training hall to the stairs as Steve simply placed one hand on Bucky’s chest to stop his departure.

***   ***   ***

“How did Nic do with the activation words?”

Bucky let out a slight sigh of relief as he wasn’t certain what all Steve had seen. “Really well; didn’t faze her much at all.” Steve silently nodded his head, refusing to break eye contact with his childhood friend. The smile that was slowly forming across Steve’s face prompted Bucky to break, “how long were you standing there?”

Still smiling, Rogers shrugged his shoulders and concluded, “long enough.”

“She’s been training a lot with Nat,” Bucky struggled to verbally and mentally rationalize what just happened in that confining training room. “You know Nat, always trying to _distract_ to gain the upper hand in a fight.”

“Yeah, and you’ve never fallen prey to that before.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest as he slightly raised his eyebrows. “Until Nic.” Bucky began stammering about how Nic was a strong fighter to which Steve just shook his head and interrupted. “Come on, man. I see the way you are around her,” Steve demeanor softened. “I’ve seen your real smile more in the past month than since you moved here.”

“I honestly don’t know what it is about her,” Bucky smiled as he shook his head then looked down the empty training hall toward the stairs. He was being honest, Nic made him feel. Feel confused at times, but feel nonetheless. 

“So, is there something going on?” Bucky opened his mouth in defense as Steve immediately continued, “and before you deny anything, I know about the sleeping arrangements and we all saw your reaction to the last mission.”

Bucky let out a defeated sigh. “There’s nothing going on; we both are comforted by each other with the nightmares and I just hated not being able to protect her given something went south during the last mission.”

“Do you want there to be something?”

This guy was _relentless_. Bucky’s smile fell as he responded. “I’m not sure, honestly.” He backed against the nearest wall of the hallway and slouched down until he was sitting. Steve took the memo and did likewise. “I have this weird desire to protect her.” Bucky paused then immediately elaborated after seeing Steve’s devilish smirk. “No, not anything like that. Well, I don’t know.” Bucky could not understand why this was so hard to explain. Of course, he could barely define his true feelings himself. “Occasionally, I’ll feel something with Nic,” he gestured toward the training room they recently vacated. “Something more than…friendship.”

Anticipating falling action to his friend’s story, Steve encouraged, “but…?”

“But, we’re friends.”

“Do you want it to be more?”

Bucky threw his head back and laughed, “Steve, are we in high school again?” That earned a laugh from Steve. “Nic has a lot on her plate right now. I think what she needs from me is a friend.”

“Maybe.” Steve donned a somber expression as he looked directly at Buck. “But, as your friend, I’m asking what you want.”

“I’m just worried if I push it, I’ll lose what we do have.” Bucky knew he was avoiding a direct answer; however, he couldn’t bear to utter his true desires. Ever since his fall from the bridge, he felt distant with his own emotions; felt as if they had been left in the deep chasm with his left limb. Despite the short duration, his relationship with Nic, however it is to be defined, was one he most cherished. She understood him, without judgement, and sought comfort in _him_ of all people. That meant more that she could ever know.

“Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes, there is an emergency situation in the kitchen requiring _immediate_ attention.”

Both men immediately jumped up at FRIDAY’s grave warning, running full speed down the training room hallway to the stairs.

***   ***   ***

“Care to explain that ridiculous smile plastered across your face?”

Nic stopped as she walked into the common area from the south hall, seeing Natasha almost done putting the last of the groceries away. She was genuinely glad to have avoided another grocery run. While the time spent with Bucky was enjoyable, he wasn’t kidding when he said their house mates were rather picky. Despite following the list, Nic still managed to snag three wrong items, all of which Tony complained to the high heavens about for a week.

“Oh, nothing.” Nicolette knew there was nothing that would get past Nat; however, she honestly wasn’t sure why she was still smiling. Surely it couldn’t be from the encounter with Bucky.

“We’re short on time.” Nat’s sudden urgency immediately prompted Nic to perk up in alarm. “Follow me.”

Obeying the red head’s commands, Nic followed Natasha into her room where there was a black duffle bag and a grocery sack on her bed.

“Put these on,” Natasha began throwing various pieces of tactical gear to Nic, who mindlessly followed suit and put the Kevlar vest and thigh holsters over her workout gear. “So, you and Barnes?”

Nic wasn’t sure why her heart seemed to skip a beat, she knew it was a matter of time before Nat’s blunt questions began. “What about me and him?”

The expression of disapproval plastered on Nat’s face spoke volumes; however, she elaborated anyway. “Somethings brewing. What’s your take?”

“Nothing’s _brewing_.” Nicolette wasn’t even sure if she believed herself. “He’s just a friend…I think. Every now and then, _something_ crosses my mind; but, I don’t know. He’s not even ready for anything more than friendship – remember the dinner?”

“I saw the way he looked at you when you two were sparring.”

Letting out an embarrassed laugh, Nic didn’t realize Nat had seen their sparring session. “Which one?”

“When you were activated.” Nic’s head sunk as soon as she realized what Nat was referring to. Not wanting to talk, she was glad when Natasha continued, “he cares a lot about you. A lot. Given he was ready for something more, how do you feel?”

“I’m not even sure if I can handle thinking about anything beyond whatever we are.” Nicolette was overcome with surprising sadness as she finished that sentence. Why did it feel like she just ended a story that was never even allowed to start? “But,” not used to divulging her emotions to others, Nic hesitated. But, she could trust Natasha. And talking about this was proving to feel therapeutic; so, she continued. “The very thought of him gives me a rush that I can’t even define.”

Natasha was desperately trying to hold back a smile which was very evident. Nic launched a nerf dart toward the redhead as she refocused the conversation. “And why are we getting ready for a fight?”

“Payback.”

Slipping foam darts into the various pockets of the vest, Nic inquired, “who’s our target?”

“Rogers and Barnes.”

Nicolette didn’t need any further explanation; the two ladies always had each other’s back when it came to the boys’ shenanigans.

“Game plan?”

“FRIDAY will send them up. I’ll be behind the couch, you’ll be behind the wall as they come into the commons.” Inserting a couple small nerf guns each into their thigh holsters, Nat smiled as she added, “then, shoot ‘em up.”

Both ladies grabbed a larger gun and made their way from Nat’s room into the common area to assume position. “FRIDAY?” Nat continued upon receiving affirmation from the AI, “tell Rogers and Barnes they’re needed in the kitchen. Make them think it’s an emergency.”

“Yes, Ms. Romanoff.”

Hunched down behind the wall perpendicular to the south hall in the living room, Nicolette couldn’t help but let a smile form across her face. Here were two highly trained former Russian assassins pulling a prank on Captain America and the Winter Soldier. Nic was absolutely loving this place.

The two ladies heard the stairwell door fly open shortly followed by the two men running into the common area, not even seeing Nic crouched down to their right.

“FRIDAY?” Steve began, doubting the AI’s information.

Nic could see Bucky clenching his metallic fist as they both scanned the kitchen area, clueless. Both ladies aimed, knowing their cover would be blown momentarily, and fired. One dart struck the back of Bucky’s head while the other struck Steve’s temple. Nic and Nat immediately ran out from their positions, firing relentlessly as everyone erupted into either laughter or a series of playful threats.

Nic, running in circles around the couches, had abandoned her emptied larger nerf gun as she was being vigorously chased by Bucky. Running into the kitchen, Nic leapt onto the island and managed to nail both men as Nat was reloading her guns. Steve and Bucky were now throwing the darts which was rather effective given each had a strong arm.

“Steve, we need a strategy!” Bucky’s laughter was euphoric to Nic, prompting her own laughter which she was rather unaccustomed to hearing. Buck had managed to snag one of the small guns from Nic while she was reloading once more which prompted relentless close-range shots between the two with Nic still standing on the island.

“I’ve got it. You get yours, I’ll get mine!”

Nicolette shot a confused look toward Natasha, not understanding what Steve was telling Buck to do. All she heard was one command, “run!”

Not delaying any time to overthink, Nic obeyed and hopped off her perch on the counter as Bucky neglected his weapon and made a beeline for Nic. Given his longer legs, he quickly caught up to her, flinging her over his shoulder with ease.

“FRIDAY, open the pool.”

“The what?” Nicolette was practically yelling to Nat, once again not understanding Steve’s command.

Natasha didn’t respond as she was putting up more of a fight with Steve than Nic had with Bucky. Behind the dining room table, Nat had been disarmed and was using all her might to keep the super soldier at least arms-length away. Throughout their laughter, she was quickly overcome as Steve swooped her into his arms and both men began running toward the back door.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see, doll,” was all Nic’s question got in return. She could hear the devilish smirk on Bucky’s face.

Situated to the far left in the back yard, a turf material was being mechanically rolled up to reveal a large swimming pool. Given the cooler weather, both ladies were immediately giving their full strength to resist. Steve, still running with Natasha, made it to the pool first, promptly throwing her into the water despite her string of Russian profanity.

“Oh, no you don’t, James!”

Laughter was all she heard back as they neared the pool, Bucky practically strutting to where Steve was standing with hands on his hips. Nicolette nearly knocked him over with her failed attempts at freeing herself. Her feet now on the ground, Bucky had his back to the pool as Nicolette desperately tried to push him in, nearly succeeding.

“Come on, Buck. She’s like half of you,” Steve was in awe at how much his friend was allowing the tiny Nicolette to push him around.

Giving up on his initial strategy, Bucky firmly grasped Nicolette’s waist and lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs tight around his core, preventing him from being able to throw her in. Nic was surprised when he pulled her in tighter and quickly made his way to the water.

“JAMES BARNES!”

As the two bobbed their heads above the surprisingly warm water, they could hear Natasha laughing and Steve nearly in hysterics. Bucky and Nic swam to the edge where Natasha was now sitting on the edge of the pool, ringing out her hair.

“Any other hidden gems across the compound?”

“Eh, you’ll find out eventually.” Nic rolled her eyes at Bucky’s part cryptic, part humorous response. Steve had made his way back with three towels, one of which Natasha wrapped around her thoroughly-saturated, fully-clothed body.

“Aren’t you four a little old for crap like that?” They all looked to see where the accusation came from, seeing Stark leaning out from the back door. Before anyone could respond, Clint popped his head out of the door, next to Tony.

“No one invited me?”

“Oh, Clint,” Natasha made her way to the back door, flagging Rogers to follow her. “We need to have a little chat with you.”

“I wouldn’t have put up as much of a fight if I knew how warm this water was,” Nic smiled toward Buck, pushing off the wall and floating on her back.

“But, that was part of the fun.” Nic smiled as she rolled her eyes behind her closed lids as she could hear the smirk behind Bucky’s voice. “What’s your middle name?”

Reorienting herself so she was treading water, she faced Bucky to respond. “They never gave me one.” She had never actually thought much about her name before; however, she didn’t seem to miss the absence. “Yours?”

“Buchanan.”

“That’s where ‘Bucky’ comes from.” Nic nodded her head, connecting the dots. “I was wondering about that.”

Bucky smiled, almost in a light laugh. “Remember, you can ask me anything, no matter how silly it may seem.”

“Okay, then.” Nicolette swam back over to the edge, pulling herself to a sitting position on the ledge with her feet dangling in the pool. Bucky shifted slightly along the edge, placing both his hands on Nic’s knees with his elbows outward. As he pulled forward to rest his chin on his hands, Nic could feel his strong chest against her legs; that made her smile. She slowly reached forward, intertwining her fingers through Bucky’s wet hair. “Have you always kept your hair this long?”

His eyes staying closed being relaxed by her fingers against his scalp, he smiled. “No, they frowned upon this hairstyle in the Army.”

“Oh, a man in uniform? Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

Bucky opened his eyes, feigning shock. “Ma’am, I may have you know that I was a Sergeant.”

“Oh, really, Sergeant Barnes?” Nicolette began, mimicking his falsified shock. “You have proof of these accusations? And I mean the hair _and_ the uniform!”

Bucky laughed as he easily pulled himself out of the water and snagged a nearby towel. Likewise, Nicolette stood up and took the towel he passed her. “I actually have some old footage of me and Steve back in the day.”

She had never wanted to ask him too much about his past given the horrors of Hydra. However, seeing the genuine smile that occupied his face made her wish she asked sooner. As the two began walking toward the back door, they saw Nat and Steve standing behind one of the full-length windows with their versions of a devious smile.

“They’re up to something.”

“Yes,” Bucky succinctly replied. “Yes, they are.”


	23. Nearly Official

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit o' Fury and his wonderful subtleties.

“Nic, you’ll be fine,” Natasha reassured, stroking Nic’s arms as she just stood there in silence. “Just answer whatever questions he has honestly. We’ll be right out here when you’re done.” Nat pulled her in for a quick hug.

Nicolette couldn’t pinpoint exactly why she was so nervous. Maybe because she knew how strict Fury could be. Maybe because she had never been fully honest with any government officials. But this was different. This was Fury. People she trusted at the compound trusted Fury.

“What she said,” Bucky smiled as nodded his head toward Nat as he pulled Nic in for a hug. She was always comforted by that mix of metal and flesh. Not to mention Bucky’s sturdy physique was a nice bonus.

“Guys, you’re gonna make her nervous,” leave it to Stark to ruin the mood. “It’s just a meeting. Relax, kid.”

Nicolette left the group in the common area, walking down the quiet south hallway to the conference room. She took a deep breath as she pushed the door open. Fury was sitting at the furthest chair from the door, on the opposite side of the large table.

“Hello, Nic.”

Taking the first chair, opposite of Fury, she slowly sat down. “Hi.” Her voice never betrayed her before; she was always able to elicit confidence despite her utter lack thereof. Why was it failing her now?

“Do you know why I’m here?”

“I’m assuming you’re here to see how the reconditioning is going.”

“Not entirely.” Nic knew the sharp breath that she took in was audible even across the table. “Everyone here has been keeping me updated regarding your reconditioning. Rogers, Barnes, Wanda, and Tony specifically.”

Nicolette nodded. This knowledge surprised her given no one told her; however, Natasha had told her about Fury’s sly techniques before.

“Honestly, Nic, I am pleasantly surprised at your progress.” He pulled a large manila envelope from under his jacket and set it on the table in front of him. “And that’s why I feel comfortable giving this to you.” He pressed two fingers on the envelope and slid it towards Nic.

Before Nic could inquire about the contents, Fury continued, “I’ll let you have some privacy as you go through that; but, first, there is something I need to ask you.”

“Yes, sir?”

“Remember when I said the committee would want to personally analyze your progress?”

“Yes?”

“Are you ready?”

“I believe so,” Nic took another deep breath in attempt to gain composure. “Honestly, I’m very nervous as those here have been very accepting of me and my past; but, I’m not sure others will be.”

“Understandable.” Fury adjusted in his chair slightly, almost as if he was uncomfortable with the information he was about to deliver. “I will give you a fair warning. They are not too comfortable with you right now. The meeting with them will be in the form of a hearing. You will need to answer everything honestly as the committee depends upon transparency. Everyone here at the compound will not be allowed inside the room; but, I will be in your corner throughout the entire thing.”

Nicolette nodded quickly, “okay.”

Fury stood from his chair and made his way around the table. “Just be honest with them as you have been with me.”

“Yes, sir.” Nic’s heart was beating out of her chest at the thought of having to answer to her crimes. But, she assumed this would happen eventually.

Fury opened the door and just before he was gone, he hollered back to Nic, “we’ll be in touch regarding time and date of the hearing.”

Nicolette turned to respond; but, the door was already firmly closed. She slowly turned back around to the manila envelope sitting in front of her on the large table. Slowly twisting the string around the buttons, she opened the folder and dumped out the contents. There was a small folded paper with a handwritten note on top of various pieces of documentation.

_Nic, I had to pull a few strings to make this official. Fury._

She set the small note to the side and perused through the rest of the contents. A US passport. Driver’s License. Temporary Avenger’s ID. A paycheck. All the documents had her full name on them with the former three containing a recent photo that she didn’t even remember taking. Nicolette was one step away from becoming an official Avenger. Her heart was now beating out of her chest out of pure elation as opposed to fear.

She shoved everything back into the envelope and flung open the door and began running down the south hall. With a welcoming smile, Bucky was the first to meet her in the common area; she jumped right into his arms, wrapping her legs firmly around his abdomen as he stumbled backwards in response to her force. Setting her down, she turned to the rest of the group: Natasha, Steve, Wanda, Tony, Vision, Clint, Thor, and Sam. Everyone had a large smile on their faces, only surpassed by Nic’s.

“Wait, did you all know?” They all nodded as they began to stand and come over to congratulate Nic. 

“We’ve all been in conference with Fury – interviews about your progress, meetings about your training, debriefings about you on the mission-” Steve was promptly interrupted by Stark.

“Kid, I had to take a polygraph test for you.” Nicolette took him off guard as she ran over and gave Tony a big hug. As Nic huffed out a nearly inaudible ‘thank you,’ Tony simply responded with the proclamation of a party. “We’ve got to celebrate, guys. Thor, bring the good stuff?”

“Of course!” He held up the characteristic small vial as everyone shouted in excitement.


	24. Let's Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fluff hits the feels, y'all.

“Poke around, find something you think you’ll like,” Tony got up from his spot on the couch. He had hijacked Bucky’s typical position to the right of Nicolette’s centered spot; Bucky didn’t object as he sat to Nic’s left. Natasha was leaning against Steve on the loveseat with her feet draped across Clint’s lap. Wanda and Vision were precariously both situated on the armchair; everyone was still surprised the two thought they were being discreet.

Typically, Nat, Clint, or Wanda were the ones who made a movie or show selection; however, tonight was evidently Nic’s turn. She thumbed through the various selection using the tablet Tony passed her as he made his way to the kitchen for the ice cream orders.

“Wait, this thing has music, too?”

“You’ve been here how long and _just_ noticed?” Tony made his way back to the living room, tossing Nat and Clint their mint chocolate chip pint, separate pints of vanilla bean for Wanda and Steve, keeping a rocky road pint for himself and nearly dropping the gallon of chocolate in Nic’s lap for herself and Bucky.

Clint let out a sarcastic huff as Buck took one of the spoons and the gallon from Nic, “and we all thought she was a good influence on him.” The archer gave a light laugh as he shrugged his shoulders.

“At least he’s now forced to share,” Nat reasoned with her couch mate. “The amount of ice cream that man would put down was downright unhealthy.”

“They’ve upgraded to a gallon, though,” Clint argued back, “I think it’s gotten worse.”

“Guys,” Nic paused her music search and spat toward the loveseat to her left. “We’re right here.” There was a light laugh from the group in response to Nic’s observation. Tapping through various music selections, Nic made her way to a group of oldies, taking more time on each sound snippet that played by hovering over the selection.

“Kid, you’re killing me,” Tony mumbled out mid-bite, “pick something.”

“I’ve got some odd preferences. I don’t know if you all would like ‘em.”

“We’re a fairly eclectic group,” Nat responded to Nic with a smile, “try us.”

Nic continued scrolling through, taking occasional bites of ice cream as she came across an excerpt that she immediately recognized. Glenn Miller’s _Tuxedo Junction_. She didn’t recognize the name, only the tune; but, she immediately tossed her spoon into the bowl, made her selection, stood up and grabbed Nat’s hand. Despite the redhead’s persistent protests, Nic firmly grasped both of her hands and began dancing to the song with her eyes shut.

“I-I don’t do this kind of thing…”

Nicolette laughed at Nat’s apparent discomfort. “Clearly I don’t dance either; just go with it.”

“Of all music, why something that’s not even from your lifetime?”

“Someone in R2 would play this song at night. Every night for a couple years when I was younger.” Nic took a deep breath and closed her eyes, thinking of the only comfort she ever experienced in that god forsaken place. “It’s kind of been my comfort ever since. It would help me sleep…even in that dreadful prison.”

The two ladies continued their out of rhythm swaying and spinning as Nat pressed, surprised, “they let you girls have music?”

“Not me,” Nic let out a light laugh. “No one knew who the music came from.”

Nic donned a curious look as Natasha backed away with a slight smile; she then felt a warm breath on her neck, “may I have this dance, doll?”

Before Nic could respond in affirmation, he gently interwound his metallic hand around hers and wrapped his right arm around her waist, pulling her body into his. Suddenly, Nicolette felt her body swaying with the music, in tune, as she allowed her form to be led by Bucky. She nearly forgot they had an audience until a voice softly spoke.

“This was your favorite, Buck.” Without shifting those blue eyes away from Nic’s, Bucky nodded in affirmation to Steve’s comment. “Was that you? In R2?” He nodded again.

Nicolette would have frozen if it wasn’t for Bucky’s continuous grip on her body. This song had been her release after tough days at the Program. The only way she could find peace some nights. “You were the only reason I didn’t go mad in that place.” She placed her head on the man’s chest, closing her eyes and letting him maintain the lead. An incomparable gratitude for Bucky washed over Nicolette; somehow, even during his days as the Winter Soldier, Bucky was still in there. Deep under the layers Hydra forcibly created, but there nonetheless. Helping Nic through the horrors of her past.

As the song slowly came to an end, Steve shifted out from under Natasha’s resumed cuddle and made another selection. “Here we go, Buck. This will take us back.” Both men formed a large smile as the next song began, Glenn Miller’s _In the Mood_.

“Rogers, I still don’t dance.”

“Just follow my lead, ma’am.” Steve’s chipper response earned a reluctant smile from Natasha as he pulled her into his arms.

Bucky immediately grasped both of Nic’s hands as he began spinning her around flawlessly. If his muscle memory serves as any indication, this man must have been an incredible dancer pre-war. Nicolette couldn’t help but laugh as he alternated between spinning her and pulling her into his arms, swaying with the beat with utter ease. Her smile only falling when he placed his hands on her waist and lifted her to which Nic shouted his name in a playful scold prompting him to pull her back into his body.

As the next song automatically began playing (Benny Goodman’s _Sing Sing Sing_ ), Clint immediately hopped up from his seat, “who wants to dance?”

“Don’t look at me, Legolas,” Tony deflected as soon as Clint’s gaze fell upon him, nearly done with his ice cream but thoroughly entertained by the show.

Wanda jumped up, smiling wide as she and Clint did their own butchered rendition of 40’s dancing. Vision, holding Wanda’s ice cream couldn’t help but smile at her giddiness. The three couples were spinning around each other as two were definitively more in tune that the other. Steve and Bucky were getting a little two creative for Nic and Nat’s liking as they, in sync, spun the ladies out, effectively switching partners.

“Well, I think we know who the better dancer is,” Nat tossed over her shoulder toward Nic after the switch.

“Right? It’s clear as day,” Nic sardonically responded.

“Give him a break, guys,” Steve jokingly began, “it’s been longer since he’s danced than I have.”

Nic, still dancing with Steve, placed her hand on his chest and lightly patted, “oh, we weren’t talking about you.”

The room erupted into laughter as everyone kept swapping partners mid swing, almost as it were becoming a game. At one point, Nicolette wound up with Clint. Initially it was a toss-up for worst dancer; however, they quickly decided it was Clint after the typically graceful archer stepped on her toes. Natasha and Wanda were then partnered up; but, were quickly down for the count as they were doubled over in laughter in reaction to the remaining partnership.

Bucky and Steve were truly trying to make it work; however, the two would not stop bickering about who would be the lead. Everyone else, even Tony and Vision, were now in hysterics as the two men were nearly kicking the other’s feet, demanding the other was in the wrong. After Steve playfully punched Buck in the shoulder for pinching his hand between the metallic plates of his hand, the song ended and the two men slapped each other’s backs and took their original positions on the couch.

Having polished off the ice cream, Nicolette gathered everyone’s cartons and utensils and carried them into the kitchen. Wanda had made a movie selection that nearly everyone agreed on by the time Nic returned. Snagging the blanket on the back of the couch, Nicolette sat just to the left of her usual crease in the center of the couch. She leaned into Bucky as he wrapped his right arm around her curled up form, his hand resting on her right hip. It wasn’t long before Nic had fallen asleep in his arms, not even registering the movie selection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glenn Miller's Tuxedo Junction: https://youtu.be/iBTYcqtaOjg  
> Glenn Miller's In the Mood: https://youtu.be/_CI-0E_jses  
> Benny Goodman's Sing Sing Sing: https://youtu.be/fhyhP_5VfKM


	25. The Hearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up. This is a tough one.

“Everyone please report to the conference room per Ms. Romanoff’s request.”

Nic, elbow deep in the refrigerator, would have rolled her eyes to FRIDAY’s interruption had it been requested by anyone other than Natasha. Nevertheless, she snagged the bowl of fruit she was in pursuit of and made her way down the south hall meeting Clint along the way. As the two walked in, Natasha and Steve were the only people present, sitting in adjacent chairs.

“What is it?”

“We’ll start once everyone gets here,” Steve demeanor was calm as always in times of stress. However, Natasha’s forced smile made Nic’s heart rate immediately quicken.

Nic took the seat next to Natasha as Clint took the seat on her other side. Tony, Vision, and Wanda were next to enter, immediately noticing Nic’s concerned expression.

“What happened?” Tony pointed toward Nic who knew her uneasy expression was probably highly obvious and unwarranted.

“We’re waiting until everyone gets here,” Steve repeated.

Clint rubbed Nic’s back reassuringly, “relax. You’re starting to make everyone else nervous for no reason.” Nic laughed at Clint’s truthful observation.

Bucky and Sam made their way to the conference room, both dripping with sweat from an outdoor workout and thus deciding to stand, not wanting to dirty the nice chairs.

“I got a call from Fury just now,” Steve began, settling his gaze on Nic. “Your hearing is tomorrow.” Nicolette took an involuntary sharp inhalation, shocked at the lack of fair warning.

“Tomorrow?”

Addressing Bucky’s surprise, Steve elaborated, “yes, 9 A.M. We all can go to show support; however, we are not allowed in the actual interrogation room for the hearing.”

“ _Interrogation_ room?”

Steve took a deep breath, turning to Nat, surprised by her brute tone. “Fury didn’t seem too pleased they are treating this situation like a trial, either; but, he reiterated the need for us to fully cooperate if we want Nic to become official.”

“It’s fine,” Nic spoke softly as Natasha continued with her bombardment of questions.

“How long will it last?”

“Fury is guessing around 3 hours.”

“Who all will be inside?”

“Fury and the rest of the committee.”

“What all will they ask?” Nic perked up with Nat’s question, genuinely curious.

Once again, Steve took a deep breath, seemingly uncomfortable. “Probably about Hydra, the Red Room, past missions, current missions, safe houses, _allegiance_ , anything.”

“Everything,” Nicolette softly summarized Steve’s list.

For the rest of the day, Nicolette was trying desperately to distract herself from the pending hearing. She spent time with Bucky and Sam, sparring to release her pent-up rage about her past. She spent time with Natasha, talking about random topics, only to always divert discussion back to the hearing. She spent time with Rogers and Vision, learning all the members of the committee to ensure nothing came as a surprise. Then, she woke up. Today was the day.

***   ***   ***

Dressed in slacks, a blue dress shirt and low heels, Nic kept her hair fully pulled back in a tight bun. Natasha said this way she looked both professional and not deadly. Everyone else met in the kitchen, dressed up slightly as they all anticipated waiting for her outside the interrogation room. Having piled into two vehicles, Nic sat between Bucky and Nat as they drove in silence. They entered through the back door of the government building as Nic could feel her heart rate increase and her chest begin heaving as her nerves began to get the best of her.

In less than a blink of an eye, there were nearly 15 armed guards with guns pointed at the group who just entered. Before Nic could contemplate the drama, Natasha and Bucky stood in front of Nic; Wanda and Clint were directly behind her, shoulder to shoulder. Vision and Tony moved to the sides and Steve and Fury still maintained the lead.

“What is this?” Nic had never heard Fury yell so loud before; his frustration vibrating through everyone’s being.

A short man in a nice suit strutted forward. “Nick, this is one of the precautions I told you about.”

“This appears to be a little more than precautionary, Ross.” The man waved his hand in the air prompting the soldiers to lower their weapons as a large door to the group’s right opened. “What is that?”

A large cell emerged from the doors; Nicolette immediately recognized it from Bucky’s description of when he was imprisoned in Germany. This was different though. Instead of a chair with brackets meant for immobilization, it contained various restraints attached to the floor.

“Well, since Barnes escaped the last one, we made some upgrades. I assure you, she can’t get out of here.”

Nicolette moved her hand to Bucky’s back, striving to feel the protection he always provided her with. Instead, she only felt the heat radiated from his body out of frustration along with rising and falling as his breaths were deep and rapid. Both of his fists were clenched tight which didn’t help Nic’s nerves at all. Ross, Fury, Rogers, and Vision were all talking for a while before breaking away.

“Look, I did not know they were going to go this far,” Fury’s stern voice began.

“She’s not getting locked up in that thing.” What emitted from Bucky more closely resembled a growl as opposed to speech.

“Unfortunately, this is the only way,” Vision’s voice didn’t bring the peace it typically did. “The committee isn’t budging in regards to her restraints.”

“I know some people above Ross that I’m going to be in contact with regarding this situation. Until then, he’s right,” Fury paused, gesturing to Vision, “this is the only way.”

Nicolette nodded and began walking to the cage of a cell to the right, attempting to shuffle past Nat and Wanda. Bucky grabbed her wrist, much tighter than normal, “you don’t have to do this.”

“Okay,” Nic shrugged, entertaining his offering, “and then what?” Bucky’s head sunk low as his eyes were filled with a hurt that Nicolette had rarely seen. She cupped the right side of his jaw with her hand and pressed her forehead against his left collarbone as she whispered, “it’s okay.”

She walked over to one of the masked soldiers carrying a large gun.

“Remove your shoes.”

She obeyed the tart command, slipping her heels off and passing them to Natasha. The soldier walked her into the cell and turned her to face the group. Everyone’s eyes failed to meet hers, falling in shame. Everyone’s except Bucky’s. His eyes began to turn red as his jaw clenched tight.

The soldier allowed his gun to swing to his back by the strap as he picked up a thick circular piece of metal.

“Tilt your chin up.”

Nic looked at the soldier quizzically then obeyed as he slipped the disc around her neck, clamping it shut.

“If you even talk too loud, this will send an electrocution through your body. It won’t kill you; but, it won’t tickle, either.”

Nicolette couldn’t even let her eyes open to see the group. Now she was the one full of shame as she sat there in a glass cage with a shock collar around her neck. The soldier grasped her arm and moved her one step forward.

“Down on your knees.”

She reluctantly obeyed with her eyes firmly shut. The soldier locked her ankles to the floor of the cell with what she assumed were vibranium shackles. Her arms were then immobilized behind her body. Next were two metal beams that were attached to the back lower corners of the cell; they were each locked onto a portion of the collar around her neck. Nicolette heard the soldier exit the cell and seal the door shut. Knowing it would be awhile before she saw their faces once more, she willed her eyes open.

Everyone was silent. Everyone was in various states of shock. Fury had a shade of rage Nicolette had never seen before. Tony had his head down and was holding his face with his right hand. Steve’s jaw was nearly wired shut as he gripped Natasha’s arm who looked as if she might go off one a guard at any second. Wanda had evident tears streaming down her face. Clint had an expression of disgusts. Vision even had a new expression, a combination of shame, disgust, and anger.

Bucky took three long strides forward, placing an open palm onto the door, letting his forehead rest on the glass directly in front of Nic. A guard swiftly placed the barrel of a gun against his head. That didn’t faze him, though. As Bucky raised his face, Nic saw a tear fall from his eye. Those steel blue eyes were replaced by stone cold grey. In a failed attempt at reassurance, Nic forced the edges of her lips to curl slightly into the shakiest smile she’s ever worn. As the cell began to move backward into the doors it came from, an involuntary tear fell from her own eye; she could taste the salty residue as it slowly passed her lips, feeling as if time had nearly ceased.

***   ***   ***

Four arduous hours later, the same doors opened through which Nicolette disappeared through. Nic released Fury from a hug, whispering a quick, “thank you, sir.”

“I told you I’d be in your corner,” Fury nodded his head as he cupped his right hand where his knuckles were bleeding and bruised.

Nicolette turned to see the entire group was still in the same room as they had promised. They all stood at the same time, seeing the end of Nic and Fury’s embrace. Despite red and tired eyes, she gave them a slight smile as she made her way to them. Before Nic could make it halfway to her house mates, Bucky’s arms were wrapped around her, pulling her into his protective embrace as tight as ever.

“I’m sorry, doll,” his breath hitched as he whispered into her hair.

She pulled back from him to see reddened eyes. Nic finally mustered a genuine smile as she reassured, “it’s okay, we all-”

Immediately she was cut off by a forceful growl, “what the hell did they do to her?” Bucky pulled back the collar of her shirt rather forcefully as Steve, Natasha, and Wanda made their ways closer. There was a vibrant red burn-like ring around her neck. Bucky’s eyes shot to Fury, demanding an answer.

“They were testing her reconditioning,” he softly answered.

“By electrocuting her?” Natasha’s anger was now rivalling Bucky’s.

“It’s okay, Fury took care of him.” Nicolette gestured to Fury’s hand as he covered his bloodied knuckles but not before they all could see. They understood and nodded in appreciation of his action. The group then silently left, Bucky holding firmly onto Nic all the way back to the car and the entire way home as if attempting to make up for his lack of protecting her previously.

***   ***   ***

There was communal silence when everyone returned from the compound. No one wanted to leave Nic alone; however, no one wanted to hover. Nat was the first to speak after returning; her voice almost motherly which surprised Nic.

“Sweetie, you okay?” Nic silently nodded her head, not making eye contact with Nat or Bucky who were both looking at her. She was being honest; however, she just felt tense. “Is there something you want to do?”

“Actually,” she felt Wanda, Steve, and Clint all look in her direction, ready to make any of her desires a reality, “yes.” She stared blankly amongst the group then pointed toward Bucky and Steve, “you and you. Be work-out-ready in five minutes. Downstairs. Small training room.”

The two were smart; they were already stretching in the small room as Nicolette made her way down to the training hall. While getting ready, she tried to catch Wanda and Nat up with everything that had happened in the interrogation. She was glad they were both willing to listen and ask limited questions. After all, she just answered what felt like thousands of persistent questions the entire morning. Before entering the small room, Nic turned to the cubbies that held clean towels and water bottles. She climbed up to reach the highest cabinet and snagged full sparring gear.

“You don’t normally use gear, Nic…” Wanda’s statement was delivered more like a question.

“I need to let off some steam; they’ll need it.”

“This is going to be good,” Natasha gave a devilish grin as the two ladies sat outside the glass door, waiting to be thoroughly entertained.

Nic passed Steve and Bucky each a helmet, shin guards, chest guard, and a mouth guard then proceeded to slip fingerless gloves on. “Oh, are you two both wearing a cup?”

The two men looked at each other concerned then back toward Nic. Buck hesitantly responded, “yeah, we had a hunch…”

“Good!”

“Nic,” Buck continued to mumble through his mouth guard, “why are we wearing all this? You know we never do and we’re fine.”

“I don’t want to feel the need to back off out of fear I may hurt you,” Nicolette began as she started walking between the men, eyeing them as if stalking prey. “I want to give into my rage this one time. Let loose.” By the time she finished, Nic had a devilish grin on her face. She looked out the glass door and nodded to Nat and Wanda who pulled out night vision goggles and hit the hallway lights. Slowly making her way to the light switch, she turned to both her opponents and cocked an eyebrow up, “ready?”

Lights out.

“Ah, shit.”


	26. Scheming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short bit of fluff just because.

The hearing had taken its toll on Nicolette over the past week; although, only one person knew to what extent. Bucky. Nic’s nightmares were occurring with greater frequency, nearly nightly. However, much to Bucky’s satisfaction, she was easily calmed by the sensation of his metallic grip. Either simply sliding his hand closer to hers under the covers, intertwining his fingers through hers, or pulling her entire frame into his, wrapping her body in a mixture of flesh and metal. Bucky was glad he was always there to take away the midnight horrors.

Normally Nic would be the first to wake up, leaving Buck to roll out of bed around 30 minutes later; however, this morning, Nic rolled over to find her metallic comfort to no avail. She peered up from her pillow and saw light flooding in from her window and empty sheets next to her. After getting up, going to the bathroom, and pulling on a pair of Bucky’s sweatpants that were often kept in her dresser, Nic made her way to the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Natasha was in a surprisingly chipper mood for the former assassin, especially being morning. Both Nat and Buck, atop barstools at the island, were busy going through various papers; Nic assumed it was part of the debriefing of the mission two days ago that most of the group, sans Nic, completed.

Nicolette gave her a suspicious look, letting out a slight grunt in response then made her way to get coffee. Feeling eyes on her back, she slowly turned while the coffee brewed into her cup to find Bucky staring at her with a goofy smile plastered on his face. Following his gaze, she realized he was staring at her pants selection; interrupting his gawking, she pulled her brows together in feigned anger.

“Barnes, don’t pretend you don’t like what you see.” Nothing got past Natasha, not even non-verbal conversations as she read her papers.

Bucky shook his head, gave a subtle wink to Nic then resorted to going back through the papers with Natasha. Nicolette felt that warmth rise in her core again. That was happening more frequently now around a certain someone. With the little things, too. Movie night, sparring, going to bed together. Hell, even at family dinner when they sat next to each other at the dining room table. Natasha was convinced there was more that friendship between Nic and Buck; however, Nic always denied. Was she right, though?

Sipping her coffee, Nic noticed Nat and Bucky were both smiling as they discreetly mumbled things back and forth, ensuring to cover their mouths when the spoke, talking low enough so Nic couldn’t hear. 

“May I ask what you two are scheming?”

“Changing your last name,” Nat stated matter-of-factly.

Nicolette shot the two a confused look, certain the redhead was bluffing. Bucky gave a large grin and pulled out the bar stool next to him. Nic obliged, hopping onto the seat after putting her mug on the island. He slid a stack of papers over to Nic who started to flip through them in disbelief.

“Barnes told me how you’re not really a fan of your last name.”

Most documents were in English while a few were in Russian; however, all of them were titled with variations of name changing rules and forms. Russian Passport. US Passport. Drivers Licenses. Temporary Avengers ID. Everything. Her elated smile fell as she set the papers down and looked toward Nat and Buck who were both now confused.

“What is it, doll?”

“I don’t know what to pick.”

The two immediately resumed their smiles as Natasha began to elaborate on her grand plan, “well, obviously, we were going to run this by you before submitting the forms. But, I was thinking about Romanoff?”

Nic felt a hitch in her breath as a huge smile formed across her face. “Really?” She wanted to say so much more; however, that’s all her body would muster. She would finally have a last name that she was proud of, that she would want to claim.

“Yeah, I mean I practically consider you my little sister,” Nat shrugged as if the gesture was no big deal.

Nicolette hopped off the stool and began screaming in excitement; she felt like a kid on Christmas morning. She wrapped her arms around Natasha and continued her mindless dancing around, repeating, “yes, yes, yes.”

“Nicolette Romanoff,” Bucky softly said as the two ladies were still in evident cahoots.

“Did _she_ just propose….to _her_?” Tony walked into the common area from the south hall, utterly confused, pointing between the two female Russian assassins twirling around.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Nicolette continued her chanting then paused as Bucky began laughing hysterically at Tony’s confused expression.

“Calm down, lady.” Nat finally broke free from Nic’s grasp. “No, Tony, your perverse dream is not coming true.”

“That’s not what I wa-”

“Nic is changing her last name,” Natasha interrupted, smiling at Nic’s excitement.

“You guys are too much,” was all Tony could muster before departing to his office down the south hall.


	27. Barton Lake House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grade A fluff plus the closest this fanfic will get to smut...

All the kids had gone to bed in their upstairs rooms on the last night of Nicolette, Natasha, Bucky, and Steve’s long weekend at the Barton Lake House. Clint had taken Laura to a proper couple’s vacation: three kid-free nights. Nicolette was washing out her mug after finishing her sleepy-time tea as the other three were still in the living room watching a TV show that Nat had recommended.

“These kids are exhausting,” Nic mumbled through a yawn, “I’m calling it an early night.” There were various ‘goodnight’s’ and ‘sleep well’s’ heard as Nic made her way to the downstairs guest bedroom that she and Buck claimed for the trip.

“Sleep well,” Natasha’s sultry response to Nic warranted the skeptical look she shot back.

As Nicolette was going through her nightly routine, she couldn’t help but smile at the oddly comforting domestic lifestyle of the past few days. From spending the day at the lake with the kids…

_“Uncle Buck!” The eldest Barton child, Cooper, called for the man propped up on his elbows, lying on his back, to the left of Nicolette._

_Natasha was on the right, thoroughly involved in a book with the littlest Barton, Nathaniel, fast asleep sprawled across her chest. They had been in the sun nearly all day, on the edge of the lake where Clint had assembled a rope swing for the kids to catapult themselves into the water. Steve was currently taking turns with the two older kids, seeing who could launch themselves the furthest._

_“Can you beat Uncle Steve?” Cooper egged on upon seeing Bucky’s initial hesitance._

_Not able to deny friendly competition, Buck flashed a smile to Nic and turned to run off toward the rope swing’s dock, “of course I can! Who do you think I am?”_

_Propping herself up on her elbows, Nicolette readjusted to properly observe the newfound competition as Natasha put her book down to do the same. The two ladies started laughing as Lila had evidently guilted Bucky into letting her sit on the super soldier’s shoulders as the two propelled themselves into the lake via the swing. Cooper, jealous of his little sister’s vantage point, managed to talk Steve into doing the same._

…and roasting marshmallows in the fire pit in the backyard…

_Whoa, Nat, what-” Nicolette reluctantly took Nathaniel per the redhead’s nonverbal request._

_"You’ve already had your s’mores, you’re on baby duty, now.” Nic rolled her eyes and smiled at Nat’s directive. Out of all the kids, Nic was least comfortable around Nathaniel; the additional responsibility that came with watching the littlest Barton elicited doubts in her abilities to which she was rather unaccustomed. She snagged a graham cracker from the nearby box propped against the log bench that Clint made at Laura’s request. Nathaniel immediately claimed the cracker as his own, messily teething on the square._

_"Well, I was going to make a s’more; but, I guess since you’re so cute, you can have it.” Nic, still attempting to master baby-talk, gently cooed to the child in her lap who couldn’t appear more content._

_To Nic’s surprise, she evidently had an audience. Bucky shifted closer to her right, holding out his half-eaten s’more offering a bite to which she took advantage, taking a bite that rivaled the messiness of her lap child. With a gentle nature that was rather uncharacteristic of his metal arm, Bucky smudged the chocolate and marshmallow leftovers on Nic’s bottom lip. The gesture made Nic’s heart quicken in pace as she softly smiled and lightly laughed._

_“What’s so funny?” Buck licked his metal finger that removed the smudged food._

_“I never thought it possible to live a life with such cliché.” Nic readjusted the now-groggy Nathaniel so he was leaning against her chest, in an apt position to allow sleep to overcome him._

_“It’s a nice break,” Buck smiled to Nic as he wrapped his metal arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a half hug, “isn’t it?”_

...to fitting more people than recommended on the living room couch for nightly movie time….

_“Uncle Stevie! Sit on this couch!”_

_“There’s no room for me, Lila,” Steve shrugged his shoulders as he walked back into the living room from the kitchen with a beer for himself and Buck. Natasha was cradling Nathaniel with Cooper sitting to her left. Nicolette was directly to Nat’s right with Lila sprawled across her lap and Bucky’s, who was situated against the rightmost armrest. The couch would be a tight fit for three grown adults, let alone four adults plus three children._

_“We can fit,” the naïve optimism in Lila’s voice was enough to convince the group to make the proposed arrangement work. “Auntie Nic, we can sit there!” Nic laughed, following Lila’s little arm, pointing to Bucky’s lap._

_“C’mon little ladies,” before Nic could object, Bucky obliged to the little girl’s request, shifting Nic and Lila into his lap. One of Bucky’s legs was outstretched on the coffee table, the other was bend behind Nic’s back as her legs spanned across Nat who had shifted closer to Bucky to make room for Steve who held Cooper in his lap._

_“Last movie, kids. Mom and dad would not be happy with us if they knew we let you three stay up this late!”_

_There were a few groans of detestation towards Nat’s adamant statement; however, being everyone was fairly content with the current layout, they all remained comfortably intertwined until the conclusion of the film._

…Nic felt as if she was living in a fantasy world.

Having finished in the bathroom, she made her way to her suitcase, looking for her pajamas. Not finding a single set of her t-shirts and shorts dedicating for sleeping, she immediately made her way back out to interrogate the always suspicious Natasha. Leaning over the back of the couch Nat was sprawled across, whispering soft enough to ensure only Nat could hear, Nic began her subtle queries.

“Where are they?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re referring to,” Natasha began in her best feigned ignorance.

“You’re cute,” Nic sarcastically retorted, now knowing that Natasha was definitively scheming. The guys had glanced over, curious about the attempted discreet interaction.

“Just trying to get the ball rolling with…” Nat turned her head and flashed her notorious sultry smirk, “well, you know.”

Nic stood up, immediately understanding Nat’s reference to the red-head’s relentless efforts to instigate a relationship between Nic and Bucky. “Unbelievable,” she spoke soft enough as to not draw attention, but loud enough to ensure Nat heard her. Evidently Nat’s current tactic to make this non-existent relationship a reality was to remove all Nic’s pajamas. This lady sure had some odd techniques.

Trying to avoid thinking about how she would explain this later, Nic snagged one of Bucky’s shirts from his suitcase and threw it on. Given it fell mid-thigh on her short frame, she elected to forgo figuring out the lack of shorts issue and deemed her underwear would be sufficient. Climbing into bed, the cool sheets were surprisingly comforting, allowing her to succumb to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

What felt like mere seconds later, she noticed the mattress dip behind her shortly followed by a warm body against her back. Assuming Bucky had made his way to bed, she rolled over to her left and was welcomed by his metal arm wrapping firmly around her waist, pulling her close. His body was unusually low, his head just above her shoulders. In her groggy state, eyes still closed, she shifted her right leg over his side, inadvertently hiking up the shirt she was wearing. The inner portion of her thigh was met by the rippling muscles of his core as she suddenly realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Her breathing became more deep as her heart rate increased ever so slightly at the newfound exposure.

The coolness of his metallic touch moved slightly from her back towards her hip, lower down her thigh to the hem of the borrowed shirt; his sensual tracing shifted subtly as he began cinching up the fabric as his fingers wandered up the side of Nic’s bare thigh. Responding pleasurably to his touch, Nic moved her right hand to the back of his head, intertwining her fingers in his hair, giving a slight tug to which he responded by gently squeezing her hip, bunching the fabric of her shirt over his forearm.

Nicolette’s heart rate quickened further as she felt Bucky’s breath against her neck, the warmth trailing down, through the collar of her shirt. Nic incidentally let a slight moan escape from her lips prompting Bucky to slip his metal arm up the back of her shirt, the coolness leaving a trail of goosebumps on her bare skin. Suddenly the warmth on her neck returned as he began to close the space between her neck and his lips. Bucky traced his lips over her neck as he tilted his head upward, as if asking permission for more. Nic tilted her head downward, bringing their noses side by side, their lips hovering gingerly with the smallest gap between them. Bucky simply waited, stroking his fingers in mindless circles on her back, allowing Nic to make the first move.

Regripping her fingers through his hair, she began to close the gap between them, gently bringing their lips together in a slow, sensual kiss. Bucky’s grip around her small frame tightened even further as she willingly collapsed her body into his. Rarely pausing even for a slight breath, the slow kiss morphed quickly into a passionate one prompting Bucky to move his hand back down her hip, slowly wrapping his fingers around the lacy edge of her underwear. Utterly overcome by euphoria, Nic let out another audible moan as they both backed for a quick breath. Longing to see those steel blue eyes, she opened hers and jumped in shock.  

She was greeted by an empty half of the bed, cascaded in the soft light of morning that seeped through the large wooden blinds on the opposite wall. Breathing heavily, Nic immediately sat up, attempting to rationalize what just happened. Jumping slightly upon hearing laughter, she realized a few people were already awake in the kitchen; she readily identified Natasha, Clint, and Laura. Nic couldn’t hear Bucky and saw the attached bathroom was vacant. So, Buck wasn’t in the room. No one was. Nicolette forced her eyes shut and took a deep breath. It was all a dream; as in, that kiss didn’t happen. But, it sure felt nice. Hell, that warmth it caused between her legs was still prominent. Nicolette let out a sigh; evidently Natasha was right, there’s no denying her feelings now.

Nicolette rolled out of bed and readied herself in the bathroom before making her way to the kitchen. Natasha and Laura were cooking breakfast; Clint was hugging Cooper who had just made his way downstairs. The couple had evidently just arrived back from their vacation.

“Where’s James?” As soon as the words rolled off her tongue, Nic knew the elevated pitch would have been sensed by Natasha. Her hunch was confirmed as Nat cocked an eyebrow up, not breaking her gaze with the sizzling bacon in the pan.

“On the couch with Lila,” before Nat could offer more of an explanation, they all heard the little girl’s proud voice upon being woken up by Laura.

“Mommy,” Lila’s arms shifted from Bucky’s sleeping shoulders to Laura’s. The two were evidently fast asleep on the couch before anyone else woke up.

“Can you go wake up the kiddie-whisperer?” Nat gestured toward Buck who was still passed out on the couch.

Nodding as she made her way into the adjacent living area, Nic realized one person was still missing. “Where’s Steve?”

“Still fast asleep in our room,” Nat chose to ignore the suggestive expression Nic provided upon the initial part of Nat’s response. “The guys stayed up long after I went to bed.”

Making her way to the couch, Nic sat down with her right leg bent against Bucky’s left leg, facing the sleeping man. She placed her left hand onto his chest and immediately began thinking about her sensual dream from that morning. Trying to shake off the memories as the warmth in her core began returned, she applied a gentle pressure to his chest attempting to rouse him.

“James,” he began slowly blinking his eyes and stretching his arms above his head, “James, breakfast is ready.”

“Mm, morning, doll,” Bucky managed to muster up a sleeping grin.

“When did you make it to bed last night?”

“I didn’t,” he began, rubbing his tired eyes. “Steve and I stayed up late talking. Then Lila came out; said she had a bad dream,” Bucky was cut off as Steve walked out of the downstairs master bedroom and elaborated.

“She only wanted Buck – no one else.” Steve’s smile fell as he realized Buck looked like he just woke up, “did you stay there all night?”

Bucky nodded again as Steve made his way into the kitchen. Nic’s curiosity was getting the best of her, “what did you two stay up so late talking about?”

“Oh, we were just talking about girls,” he sarcastically responded with a wink. Nicolette rolled her eyes as she pushed off his chest to stand and make her way into the kitchen with the rest of the group. While she was aware his response was loaded with sarcasm, she couldn’t help but entertain the idea that maybe he had been talking about her with Steve? Maybe there were mutual feelings beyond friendship.

“Nic? You awake?” Nic immediately snapped out of her internal monologue to see Nat passing her a plate loaded with food.

“Yeah, just thinking,” she felt a smile form on her face as she quickly scarfed down her food. After all, they were in somewhat of a rush to eat before needing to head back to the compound for a meeting.

“Alright, five minutes,” Steve authoritatively announced.

Bucky shot him an unamused look while Nic and Nat gave weak two finger salutes despite mouths full of food.


	28. Officially Official

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nic and Bucky make good fighting and scheming partners.

“Okay,” Nic grunted out as she clumsily rolled herself off Bucky and onto the grass, “I think we need a change of plans.” The two super soldiers were currently teamed up against Thor and Wanda, Steve’s brilliant idea of afternoon training. Wanda had easily flung Nicolette into Bucky, knocking the two a few meters back onto the ground. However, little did the others know, the two had been training on partner techniques for a while now.

“Agreed. You get the hammer,” Bucky began, his thought being completed by Nic.

“And charge your arm so you can get Wanda.”

During their numerous failed sparring matches involving Wanda, Bucky and Nic realized that the electrical charge that his arm was equipped with could momentarily impede Wanda’s powers. The two theorized that given Buck had a large enough charge, he could emit an electrical current from his prosthesis. They somewhat successfully tried it once when Thor left his hammer in the kitchen at night; however, they neglected to explain the hole in the kitchen island the next morning to the group. Luckily FRIDAY didn’t rat them out either.

“Can you get me up there?” Nic nodded her head upward to where Thor was beginning to elevate, readying his next lightning charge for the duo.

“Yeah,” Bucky nonchalantly responded, “can _you_ disarm the god of thunder?”

Nicolette smiled and shook her head at his seemingly unwarranted question as she took a few quick steps away from Bucky then sharply nodded her head. He got down on one knee, facing Nicolette, and held his hands in front of his chest as if shielding his heart, then responded with an identical nod. Taking just three long strides for her short stature, Nicolette jumped upward, angling her feet toward Bucky’s hands. He firmly grasped her feet as Nic bent her knees, then gracefully launched her into the air. Immediately after his toss, Bucky began sparring with Wanda, his sole goal being a distraction.

Being thoroughly distracted, Thor was utterly taken off guard when Nicolette’s small frame slammed abruptly into his. Immobilizing Thor’s hammer wielding arm with both of her own, Nic wrapped her legs firmly around the god’s throat as they both plummeted 20 feet to the ground.

“Did you _throw_ her?” Wanda’s question was filled with both disbelief and humor as she wisped her red tinted currents around Bucky’s body.

“Eh, we’ve got a few tricks up our-” Bucky was unable to finish his sentence as she immobilized his body firmly against the ground. Fortunately, he didn’t need to hopelessly fight Wanda any longer as by some means of miraculous timing, Nic had disarmed the Asgardian of his prized weapon.

“James!”

Bucky succinctly responded to Nic, “charge it!”

Raising the hammer, angled toward Bucky, Nicolette let out a loud yell as she could feel the electric current pulsating through the weapon. Wanda and Thor both stood in shock as the duo appeared to be turning on one another. Before their opponents, and those that had elected to watch the now notorious battle, could comprehend their motives, Bucky’s arm was fully charged and emitting a thick blue hued electrical beam toward Wanda. Simultaneously, while Thor was gaping at the newfound technique, Nic summoned lightning, directing it toward the god’s chest, catapulting him deep into the woods 100 yards away.

As Nicolette spun around to aid Bucky’s efforts against Wanda, she saw the Witch tapping out having been temporarily rid of her powers and trapped in a choke hold. Bucky released his opponent and made his way toward Nic, sloppily propping his elbow on her shoulder as she arrogantly tossed the hammer in her opposite hand. They both flashed proud smiles toward their thoroughly impressed audience that now consisted of Steve, Natasha, Clint, Tony, and Sam.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Tony just shook his head in utter disbelief.

“I think we have a new ‘team to beat’.” Steve’s smirk was reflected by both Bucky and Nicolette as they made their way with Wanda to join the remainder of the group.

“Oh, shoot!” Nicolette immediately spun on her heel to face the woods where she cast her opponent. “I forgot about Thor!” Before she could make it even a few yards from the group, Nic saw Thor emerge from the tree line.

“You may be tiny; but, you sure are mighty!” Nic launched the hammer in the air which promptly returned to its summoning owner; Thor circumvented the hammer above his head, allowing him to quickly fly to join the audience.

“In all honesty, I didn’t mean to launch you _that_ far,” Nic admitted with a shrug of her shoulders.

“I am the son of Odin; the strength of your limited stature-”

“Okay, tiny human,” Nat comedically interrupted much to Thor’s dismay, “there’s something waiting for you in the kitchen.”

***   ***   ***

Nicolette had a good hunch what was in the large manila envelope sent to the compound by Fury. She stood in the middle of the common area, where the kitchen, living area, and dining area all spill into each other as she slowly reached in to identify the contents with a large audience. Nicolette was involuntarily smiling as she passed around the updated pieces of identification, all containing her new name: Nicolette Romanoff.

“There should be one more thing in there,” Steve smiled as he gestured toward the manila envelope.

Nic all but screamed as she pulled out the small rectangular badge from the bottom of the large envelope. She pulled the unexpectant Natasha into her arms and spun the red head around in excitement.

“Oh, you stink, miss,” Natasha pushed her sweaty teammate away while still managing to reveal an appropriate level of excitement.

“What is it?” Wanda was egging on, fully well knowing what the small card was that Nic just removed.

“I’m official!” The shortest teammate proudly held her official Avengers ID card high above her head.

Elated, Nic spun around and jumped into Buck’s arms, wrapping her legs firmly around his core as he laughed while recovering from being thrown off balance. There was a communal cheer in response to her announcement and an immediately declaration of a celebration by Tony. Déjà vu.

“In honor of short stack, I say we have an alcoholic celebration!”

Nicolette couldn’t tell if Tony’s announcement of festivities or the overarching sound of agreement that came from the group was more predictable.

“Showers before _anything_ ,” Nicolette, in all seriousness, added as she released Bucky from the firm hold she maintained with her thighs. She was pleasantly surprised when his grasp released slower than hers, allowing her mind to get lost in those steel blue eyes as her body gently glided against his until her feet reached the floor. And there it was. The dream from the lake house.

“Just a reminder,” Natasha interrupted Nic’s reminiscent haze with her sultry voice, “just because you two have your own showers...”

Nicolette rolled her eyes as the redhead continued and spoke softly to Bucky, “we’ve got to get that lady back one of these days.” Natasha was ceaselessly calling out their inexistent intimate relationship, now in more public ways than before. Bucky simply nodded and smiled, utterly agreeing. Everyone began dispersing, primarily just to relax until the impromptu festivities began. Nicolette noticed Natasha following Steve, both walking toward the west hallway and decided to take advantage of the prime opportunity.

“Ma’am, your room is the other way,” Nicolette politely jabbed toward Nat, ensuring a minimal audience as she donned a fabricated expression of surprise, “oh, I see your shower buddy has already made his way to his room. Continue,” Nic and Buck immediately struggled to hold back laughter as Nat’s face became slightly flush as she regained composure despite the accusation.

“Who said I’m even showering? This one doesn’t stink quite like you,” Nat responded to the accusation, gesturing to herself with her hand on her chest.

“No need to make excuses for my benefit,” Nic slyly responded, flashing a not so subtle wink as Natasha rolled her eyes and followed Steve into his room.

“Damn,” Bucky softly spoke to Nic as if arriving to a stark realization. “There _is_ something between those two, isn’t there?”

“I’ve been trying to tell you,” Nic responded softly, raising an eyebrow as she walked off toward the east hall to her room. Right before she entered her room, Nic glanced toward Bucky and let out a slight laugh as he stood there with a quizzical expression, hands still on his hips, thinking about the newfound knowledge.

***   ***   ***

In true Stark fashion, everyone was sufficiently inebriated upon the conclusion of dinner. Most had retreated except for Nic, Nat, Steve, Bucky, and Clint. Nic cherished the intimacy of the after-party like get-togethers with the closest of her new housemates. Each was comfortably situated in the living room with an alcoholic beverage of choice at various levels of completion. Nat and Steve were slumped against pillows shoved against the hearth of the rarely used fireplace, opposite of the couch on which Buck and Nic sloppily resided. Clint, nearly passed out in a drunken stupor, was sprawled even less gracefully on the armchair to the right of the couch.

All night, Buck had been trying to pry Steve, hoping to succeed in getting him to either confirm or deny his relationship with Natasha. All attempts had failed.

“I have an idea,” Nic whispered to her couch mate. Raising her voice for the other after party attendees, she continued, “Nat, we should play a team bonding game.”

“Best idea you’ve had all night.” The smile that broke across Nat’s face was solely due to the volume of alcohol she had consume. “What are you thinking?”

“I’ll leave that up to you, game keeper,” Nic egged on Nat.

Pulling his glass up to his lips, as if taking a swig, Buck whispered to Nic, “I’m not following how this help us to get them to spill the beans?”

Shifting over so her shoulder was flush with the brunette assassin’s, Nic raised her glass in a similar not-so-discrete fashion and responded, “if she picks the game, she’ll have her guard down.”

“She’s wasted,” Buck shot Nic a ridiculous look, “it’s already down.”

“True,” Nic took a sip then turned to Buck, honestly adding, “I don’t know any party games.”

Buck shook his head and smiled, “there’s the truth.”

“Rapid fire!”

Buck and Steve jumped at Natasha’s declaration; however, it was Nic who inquired, “excuse me…?”

Nat sat up as if preparing for a lecture and began her explanation, “bonding game. You state someone’s name, ask them a question that only requires a one or two-word answer, they immediately respond,” she raised both arms, including her glass, in the air to ensure emphasis before continuing, “no hesitations or explanations. Then, whoever answered the question, starts the cycle over again. You pause, you drink.” Nat took a sip as if having convicting herself of breaking the rules. “You explain, you drink. No lying. No question repeats.”

Nic shot a smirk toward Buck who subtly returned the gesture, “oh this’ll be fun.” Nic followed up her comment with a wink toward Nat.

“As the only other decent interrogator in this room, I agree.” The two ladies laughed as all three guys gave various moans of disapproval. Nat immediately began her refute, “Clint, need I remind you of Budapest?” Clint shot an immediate horrified look, begging her to not disclose the evidently highly interesting story. “Steve, you’re too soft…”

“Soft?” Steve took quite the offense to her statement.

“And Barnes, you’re just…the opposite.”

“So, what?” Steve donned his best tone of mockery which was actually rather good given his level of inebriation, “he’s just _too hard_.” All mockery was replaced by a stern expression, exhibiting his immediate regret of his choice of words. Clint didn’t help the matter with his utter hysteria as Bucky just planted his palm over his eyes, failing at concealing his laughter directed toward his childhood friend.

“Oh, Cap,” Clint managed to huff out through his laughter, “you walked into that one.”

“Well, it’s not a bad problem to have,” Nicolette nonchalantly offered, shrugged her shoulders as she saw Bucky flash a surprised smile her direction.

“Ah, Nic!” Nat raised her glass as if toasting to the tiny Russian, “I’m proud of you, that was a good one!”

“And now I know I’m drunk…” There was communal laughter and agreement at Nic’s conclusion. “Okay, who starts this?”

“Clint!” Nat immediately shouted, “how many missions have you not told Laura about?”

Rolling his eyes as he responded, Clint spat, “three…ish.” Per the rules, without pause, he chose his target. “Nic, do you trust me?”

“Yes,” Nic easily replied.

“Like _really_ trust me,” Clint had garnered a suspicious smile.

“Yes…”

Without warning, Clint launched himself over the back of the armchair and ran into the kitchen as everyone’s confused gazes followed. He promptly began to return to the living area, with an apple and bow in hand. Placing the apple on Nic’s head, she rolled her eyes and sat still as the archer took aim from behind his now vacant armchair.

“Whoa, what are you doing?” Steve and Bucky began protesting until Nic raised her arm to silence the duo. Bucky grabbed the apple; however, Nic immediately knife handed him in the gut and reclaimed the fruit, replacing it back on her head and facing Clint.

“I said I trust you,” she raised her eyebrows as if prompting the challenge, “go.”

Without further ado, the apple was plucked from her head by the piecing of an arrow from Clint’s bow. He stood up, surprised Nic went through with it, and gave her a high five then retrieved the apple from across the room while Bucky, Steve, and Nat watched in horror.

“What?” Nic nonchalantly inquired, “he’s known for never missing a shot, right?”

“ _Intentionally_ ,” Clint corrected, flashing a goofy drunken smile.

“Okay, no more party tricks,” Nat somberly added, “your turn, Nic.”

“Nat, who’s the last person you’ve kissed.” Steve choked on his drink at Nic’s shameless inquiry.

“Steve,” Nat promptly responded then added, upon realization of her confession, “shit.”

Without breaking eye contact with the newly announced couple, Bucky and Nic bumped fists as Nat’s deafening stare continued relentlessly. Steve incessantly reassured the baffled Clint that the smooch was in fact from a mission a couple years back; Clint didn’t seem to buy the fib.

“Barnes,” Nat vengefully smirked, “have you ever kissed Nic.”

“No,” Bucky quickly responded with a sharp inhalation as Nic felt her cheeks flush, “Steve, when’s the last time you kissed Nat.”

Both Steve and Nat tossed their heads back in defeat as Clint jumped up from his position on the armchair, utterly enthralled in the recent findings.

“Steve,” Nic egged on the super soldier, “we’re waiting.”

Nat nodded in affirmation to Steve as he reluctantly responded, “today.” Clint erupted into various exclamations of shock and awe.

In dramatic flair, Nic flung her legs over Bucky’s lap and leaned back on her left elbow, held her glass up for a toast and proclaimed, “my work here is done.” Bucky placed his metal hand on her thigh and sloughed over with his right to clink glasses as the two, sprawled on the couch even more, and finished their beverages victoriously.


	29. Avengers Assemble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Potential Trigger: graphic description of violence and near death experience
> 
> This is a good one, guys!
> 
> And, there's a little Avengers (the movie) easter egg in there because...Natasha.

As four members of the team piled onto the quinjet, Nic took a deep breath at the realization this was her first full-fledged mission with the team. Her emotions were getting the best of her which Nic desperately tried to brush off; she had successfully completed dozens of missions. However, she had never worked as a team and she had never fought in the public eye before. This battle was already plastered on local news just as their still anonymous enemy desired.

During the debriefing, the team learned that the enemy starkly resembled the Chitauri; however, not only were their flight patterns and battle plans different, their numbers were rather low considering the vastness of the Chitaurian army from before.

“They don’t even fight the same,” Tony chimed in through the earpieces. He and Sam had made it prior to the jet’s arrival which carried Nic, Nat, Steve, and Bucky. “They’re dropping like flies.”

“Don’t get too confident, there’s easily a hundred,” Steve immediately corrected Stark, “and remember, we’re down a few teammates.” Clint, who was on his family’s farm, was unable to make it given their lack of heads up. Thor, Vision, and Wanda were all back in Asgard discussing various intergalactic peace treaties to report back to Fury.

“30 seconds from the drop site,” Nat chimed in over the earpieces from the cockpit of the quinjet. “It’s a fairly crowded area, I’m not sure where I’ll be able to put her down. Don’t wait up for me,” she flashed her signature smile to the three in the back as Steve pressed the button to open the back hatch.

Nicolette firmly grasped onto the railing above her for stability from the sudden gust of wind that flooded the compartment. She had to fully extend her arm to bridge the gap to the handle while the two super soldiers barely raised their hands above their heads. Taking another deep breath, she peered over the edge and could see the swirling aircraft of the alien looking life forms below, terrorizing a busy city.

“You okay?” Buck broke Nic from her thoughts as he placed a reassuring hand on her upper arm.

“Yeah, I’m just used to doing things a little more,” Nic paused and scrunched her nose, attempting to find an apt word, “discreet.”

“5….” As Natasha counted down until their drop, Nic shoved all reservations aside and slipped her mask over her mouth and goggles over her eyes. “4…” In addition to anonymity, she had been rather adamant about maintaining some continuity during the mission, claiming the facial coverage gave her some sense of comfort as strange as Bucky thought it sounded. “3…” Nic released the overhead handle and began walking toward the edge of the ramp ahead of Bucky and Steve. “2…” She turned back toward the inside of the jet, cocked her head, and gave a two-finger salute to the soldiers as she gracefully fell backwards from the aircraft as Natasha concluded, “1.”

“Show off,” she heard Bucky mumble sarcastically through the earpiece as she saw the two men dive after her.

“Just for you, James,” Nic wittily chirped back, still plummeting through the air. Before much longer, all three pulled their chutes, giving barely enough time to make a non-impactful landing despite their low altitude.

Steve, Nic, and Bucky landed within a coordinated grid of long blocks of tall buildings. They were given no time to adjust as they were thrust into the firefight ensuing between Tony, Sam, and the various Chitaurian looking sentries.

“Too many tall buildings, I had to put her down on a roof about a half mile away,” Nat updated the group.

“Ok, try and hitch a ride.”

“What do you think I’m doing over here, Cap,” Nat sassed back, “just _strolling_ to the fight?” Nic and Steve laughed at Nat’s attitude while they continued battling the onslaught.

Nic’s humor was quickly cut short as three alien beings converged on her at once; she landed a firm kick to one’s abdomen despite the substantial height advantage they maintained. One simply wrapped its arm around her frame, lifting her in the air which provided her with an opportune angle to plant a firm kick to the third’s chest.

“James! Incoming,” Nic grunted as she kicked the third straight into the super soldier’s awaiting blades. The one whom still held her in an embrace was thrusted backward with the kick, inadvertently releasing Nic, allowing her to swiftly adjust and plummet her own blades into its chest. Forcefully removing her blades, the entire chest plate of armor dismantled itself covered in red blood.

“Guys, anyone else going to address the fact that these guys bleed red?”

“Yeah, kind of a common sight in this career field,” Bucky jokingly retorted back, still fighting relentlessly alongside Steve.

“No, she’s right,” Tony added through the earpieces. “The Chitauri from our last fight didn’t. FRIDAY, do a bio scan.”

“Scanning, boss.” There was a pause in the line, only sporadically filled with grunts from blows delivered and occasional hits taken. “They’re… _human_. The weaponry and armor are all from that last invasion.”

Nic stood petrified, realizing she already claimed close to a dozen _human_ lives already. She rationalized their deaths differently when the sentries were defined as other-worldly. Nic looked around at the limp forms littering the city street; her killing appeared ruthless in nature. While the enemy’s terroristic actions that prompted their intervention were indicative of the evil nature, Nic couldn’t diffuse all of her doubts. Upon taking residence at the compound, she swore to herself she would only kill another human if absolutely necessary. Could _this_ level of human bloodshed be deemed necessary? Rage told her that given these individuals were HYDRA, her answer was yes. But were they currently fighting HYDRA? She didn’t know definitively. Who was her enemy? Who was she killing and why? Still scanning the genocidal appearance of the impromptu battlefield, Nicolette was overcome by a foreign feeling, sickened by the ruthlessness.

“Nic, your comms working?” Steve shouted directly to her, inquiring about her motionless nature and lack of response to previous attempts at catching her attention. The trio was regrouping as the current wave of alien-armor clad enemies was depleted.

“Sorry, yes.”

“What’s going on?” Bucky retrieved one of his knives from a nearby body and made his way towards the small Russian. Despite the large gun strapped to his back he insisted on bringing despite the skydive, the man still preferred his knives.

“It was easier when they were just…aliens,” Nic shook her head as if physically shaking off her negative thoughts. “It’s fine, just trying to remind myself that I’m not falling back into HYDRA’s ruthless killing spell.”

Bucky pressed a button on his earpiece to mute his communications to the group then gestured for Nic to do the same to which she promptly complied. He wrapped his metal arm around her shoulders, gently pulling her toward him. She found comfort looking deep into those steel blue eyes; however, they were evidently searching for something in return, unsuccessful due to the goggles Nic still wore.

“I understand.”

Bucky’s two words relieved such a great pressure inside of Nic, making her realize her hesitations were not utterly unfounded. He had probably experienced the same reservations she currently battled; he’s come so far, so can she. As he pulled her frame flush against his own body, Nicolette willed her muscles to momentarily relax into his.

“I’m with you, doll.”

Behind her mask, she was smiling at his perfectly timed words as she sunk her covered face into his chest. Feeling his chest rise and fall with his respirations and the faint beat of his heart through his many protective layers of tactical gear were pleasantly grounding. When she didn’t believe she could be comforted any more, she felt his warm breath begin to condense over her long French braid, near the crown of her head, followed by a light pressure. His lips. Her heart skipped a beat as he kissed the top of her head and gently squeezed her body further into his. Nic immediately became grateful for her mask that now covered her full on facial flush and the temptation to pull his lips into hers.

She cupped her right hand around the edge of his jaw and became lost in those steel blues again and softly whispered, “thank you, James.” Nic desperately hoped he knew how much his gesture meant to her despite not being able to see her smile due to the mask. That damn mask sure was a curse and a blessing. The warm smile he returned was immediate reassurance, though.

“Party’s here,” Nat interrupted the duo’s moment as she came riding in on a motorcycle. “Not interrupting anything am I, Barnes? Little Romanoff?”

The two laughed at Nat’s loaded question that was reeking with sexual insinuations. Before either could provide a witty response, which both were struggling to formulate, Tony interrupted, quite out of breath.

“Remember how the real Chitauri had that technology based hive mentality? I think we’ve found some sort of mother ship. Nothing like those damn whales from last time, but- shit!”

Everyone’s gaze immediately shot upward to see Tony had taken on one of the enemies that had jumped off from their small aircraft and onto his suit. Having disposed of the undesired addition, Tony shouted, “you’ve got incoming down there!”

All four on the ground spun around to see what could only be described as a herd of Chitauri-dressed humans pummeling their way. Bucky and Nic clicked their earpieces back off the mute setting and both nodded to each other and began a sprint straight toward the enemy. Nic hurled herself directly into the closest armored sentinel, easily rendering the enemy unconscious then used his body weight as a bowling ball for the next three incoming. She was able to clear her conscience by abiding by her newfound rule to incapacitate her enemy, not kill.

“Tony, update on the mother ship,” Steve’s authoritative voice prompted Nic to pause and look back to the group who was now a few blocks away. Bucky was the closest, maybe 20 feet away, cleaning his blade after having taken down a few himself. Nic smiled, thinking she could definitely get used to fighting with this guy.

“Still working on it,” Tony’s frustration was evident.

“They’re guarding this thing with a vengeance,” Sam elaborated. “Every time we get close, they manage fight us off.”

As eight of the small alien aircraft flew close overhead, Nic had a sudden realization. “I’ve got a plan. James, can you give me a boost?” Nic scraped her feet against the pavement as if ensuring adequate traction as Bucky returned a look of disbelief.

“You can’t be serious.”

“There’s another batch coming, we’ve got to go now,” she began a rapid sprint toward Bucky just as in practice, he squatted low to the ground and cupped his hands similarly to their partner based practice. As Nic jumped, Buck firmly grasped her feet and reluctantly launched her into the air in sync with the passing alien craft.

Along with Bucky’s slew of Russian profanity, there were various exclamations of concern and questions from the rest of the group upon realizing Nic’s grand idea.

While the jolt was startling, Nic firmly grasped the rear and of the craft, “I’m on!” She heard a breath of relief from Bucky through the earpiece as she made her way onto the seat, easily throwing the enemy to the streets below.

“You’re stealing my move,” Nic didn’t follow Natasha’s joke while Steve huffed out a laugh. Before she could inquire, Sam could be heard shouting.

“Ah, I’m grounded,” between colorful language, Sam finally expanded upon his proclamation, “the suit’s down.”

“Um, short stack?” Tony was now flying parallel to Nic who had a surprisingly amount of control over the small aircraft. “What’re doing?”

“You said they run on a technological hive mentality, right?”

“The _real_ Chitauri, yeah.”

“I’m hoping by riding this, I can fool it into letting me on the mother ship.”

Tony broke away from his flank position, “I like the way you think, little lady. I’ll distract as many as I can.”

“Nic, you can’t go in there alone!” Bucky’s demand was a mixture of concern and fear.

“No objections if someone would like to join me,” Nic sassed back, knowing fully that the chances another teammate would make it in time was nil. “But, I’m going in!” She let out a loud yell as she literally drove the small craft into the side of the mother ship that approximated to six times their quinjet.

Natasha, Steve, Bucky, and Sam felt helpless as all the grounded sentries were nearly destroyed and all the airborne enemies refocused their concentrations on the newfound attack on the mother ship. Stark was doing his best to keep as many as possible at bay; however, they were suddenly swarming.

Hearing Nic fight the enemy, hand-to-hand, the four had positioned themselves on a street where they could see the mother ship; however, they couldn’t gain access. Bucky was the first to break the sound of Nic’s blows, “you three good down here?”

Upon affirmation from Sam, Natasha, and Steve, Bucky removed the rifle that was strapped to his back and ran into the closest building to make his way to the roof. Steve relayed the message over the comms as Bucky scaled the numerous flights of stairs in record time. The former WWII sniper set up on the perimeter of the roof and, with expert marksmanship, began slowly plucking the enemy from the sky along with Tony.

“You’re giving Clint a run for his money, Barnes!”

Through unidentifiable grunts, Nic huffed out through the comms, “was that Tony giving a compliment?”

“Barnes is dropping them like flies, kind of impressing all of us down here,” Nat honestly admitted.

There was a gut-wrenching scream from Nic followed by a loud thud. The mother ship, having situated a few hundred feet above the tops of the buildings began making jerking movements as the group frantically tried to call for Nic through the comms. They were only responded by a choking sound then a man’s deep, guttural voice.

“Winter Widow, you think yourself a hero now,” the man almost laughed as the choking sound continued, “just because you’re with _them_!”

“Tony, you have to get in there!” Bucky’s desperation had returned in full strength; however, it evidently didn’t affect his targeting.

“Agreed,” Tony succinctly replied, “I’ll use the door Nic was oh-so kind to open for me.” Tony was trying to size up the hole Nic had created by ramming the mother ship with the smaller aircraft; but, he ultimately settled for thinking about it less and just going for it. “Can you clear a path for me, Barnes?”

“You got it.”

“Pathetic!” The man’s voice filled the ears of the entire team as a loud thud was heard.

“What’s pathetic is how long I let you rule my life!” There was a slight relief that overcame the team as they heard Nic’s voice; however, she sounded very weak. The mother ship began taking a nosedive.

“Tony, now!” Bucky began firing rapidly ahead of Tony’s suit which, along with Tony’s repulsors, a path was cleared for him to penetrate the now diving mothership. “Nic!”

There were four loud gunshots followed by what was evidently Nic’s cry out from pain then that same choking sound with sporadic gasps for air.

“Nic!” Bucky had ceased his firing as Tony made a rough landing into the ship and the airborne sentries had been eliminated.

“You’ll always be one of us,” the cryptic man’s voice ringing through the earpieces brought Bucky to his knees. “Hail HYDRA.”

The sound of a blade piercing through skin and the characteristic final fluid-filled cough that was too familiar by the group was followed by a deafening silence over the communication system.

Bucky ran down the stairs and joined Nat, Steve, and Sam who began running toward where the ship would impact the ground. Bucky had a clear lead, even over Steve who created a larger gap between the two super soldiers and the two non-enhanced teammates behind.

“Tony?!”

“I’ve got her,” Bucky wasn’t relieved by Tony’s proclamation despite seeing him fly out from the nearly crashing ship. Nic’s body appeared limp, lazily draped over his armored grip. “There’s a lot of blood,” Tony warned as he slowly touched down not even 30 feet from the sprinting Bucky, “FRIDAY detects a heartbeat.”

Tony laid Nic’s lifeless body on the ground as Bucky quickly landed on his knees to the right of her body, repeatedly chanting her name as he frantically placed his fingers on the side of her bruised and bloodied neck to check for a pulse, needing to feel the life in her body for himself. He let out an uneven sigh as Nic’s strong heartbeat was felt. Steve made his way to the huddle as Bucky began looking over her red stained frame for the bullet wounds.

“Where’s…wha-” Bucky continued stammering incoherently as now Tony and Steve looked over her blood saturated body, unsuccessful in their attempt at locating open wounds.

“Nat, you and Sam ready the jet,” Steve authoritatively spoke into his earpiece. The redhead tersely replied, “copy.”

Bucky then shifted his left leg over Nic’s small frame, planting his foot on the other side of her torso so he could easily remove her mask and goggles. There was a decent gash in the jaw of her mask; however, due to the material’s durability, the evident attack didn’t penetrate to her face.

“Nic?” He spoke softly as he gently shifted a stray strand of hair behind her ear and lowered his chin to his chest. Without warning, Nic’s eyes flung open, pupils constricting rapidly from the sudden exposure to sunlight, and she frantically tried to sit up and swivel her head to gain her bearings. Bucky grabbed her shoulders as she began wavering, her arms unable to hold her own weight; her wide, shock filled eyes suddenly focused on his.

“James!” Nic’s demeanor immediately relaxes as Bucky sat back onto his right heel, pulling her into his arms. Her head cradled into his chest, she sloppily wrapped her arms around his core as uneven breaths coursed from her chest.

“Wait,” Bucky immediately backed off and held her shoulders as she now sat in front of the three men. “All that blood?”

Nic immediately began shaking her head while speaking in choppy fragments, “n-not mine. I pushed the gear downward to nosedive. I shot him. A lot,” Nic’s head fell out of exhaustion from just remembering the encounter. “He fell onto me. I thought I killed him; but, then he grabbed my neck,” she winced at the still tender injury before continuing her stammer. “I-I stabbed him,” her face contorted in shame of her brutality, “in his throat. He collapsed but didn’t release me. I-I think I hit my head on the cockpit console when he fell.”

“Who was he?”

“I don’t know.” Shrugging her shoulders in response to Steve’s question, Nic softly added, “but, he knew me.”

“Was he wearing the armor?”

Nic shook her head in denial to Steve’s additional inquiry. The sound of the quinjet above the street prompted all four of the remainders to glance up. Upon realizing the craft wouldn’t be able to land on the crowded street, Tony walked over to Steve who put his arm around Tony’s shoulders before being whisked into the air. Having deposited Rogers on the jet, Tony scooped up Nic next, followed by Bucky as they promptly sped off back to the compound.

Both on the cool metal floor of the jet, Nic was curled on her side, laying between Bucky’s legs with her head on his chest. Confusion riled Nic, eliciting a steady shake throughout her extremities.

“They’re dead,” she confessed in a whisper only loud enough for Buck to hear, “I killed them _all_.”

“Saving countless,” Bucky countered.

“But, I killed the way _they_ taught,” her voice began to softly trail off, “brutally, intimately.”

Knowing there wasn’t a _right_ thing to say, Bucky simply firmed his grip on her as he nodded off Steve and Natasha who non-verbally inquired about Nic’s well-being. Nic gave up her self-loathing thoughts, seeking slight solace in succumbing to Bucky’s protective grip as her eyes slowly shut, willing herself to relax yet unable to actually sleep.

***   ***   ***

Nic tossed the last bucket of ice into the deep grey basin prompting an echoing slosh to reverberate through the empty basement room. She hoped the seclusion from the remainder of her team and the ice would provide some comfort. After unzipping her tactical vest, Nic slipped the garment off her shoulders, shuddering at the pain the motion elicited. From just tilting her head to the side, she could tell bruising would be left behind where the brute of a man grabbed her neck. There would be a matching purple and blue remnant over a few of her ribs from her fight with other individuals in the mother ship as well.

Slipping off her boots and tactical pants, she leaned down to shut off the cold water that nearly filled the basin. Now in only her undergarments, a black sports bra and black elastic shorts barely concealing her heavily bruised muscular thighs, she sat on the edge of the basin, dangling her feet in. Realizing she wasn’t going to desensitize herself to the temperature, Nic quickly hopped into tub, inhaling sharply as she was consumed by the cold. As the initial shock of the ice bath was a definitive distraction from the events from mere hours ago, Nic couldn’t run from her thoughts any more.

When Nic was accepted by those at the compound, she assumed the decisions made during missions would be easy. Enemies of the Avengers were truly evil and therefore killing them would be validated. Simple as that. Black and white. However, after the last mission, Nic realized it wasn’t that simple. She found where the black and white morphed to grey. She had taken dozens of lives in a matter of an hour. Publicly.

After the mid-fight bought of encouragement from Bucky, she told herself she wouldn’t take another life, only render the enemy incapable of harming anyone else. That was a good compromise, right? But, when Nic was launched onto the mother ship, she saw _them_. And she had wanted to kill them. But that was HYDRA talking; so, she tried to stop her sudden relentlessness. Until _him_. Killing him was in self-defense. Is it okay, then? Where was she supposed to draw the line? Could she draw a line when killing was acceptable? Killing should never be acceptable. Had HYDRA permanently tainted her view on taking a life?

Nicolette felt involuntary tears streak down her cheeks as her heart rate climbed to dangerous levels, anxiety peaking. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, knowing she needed to calm down. Forcing all negative and trivial thoughts to the back of her mind, Nic willed herself to only think positively. What made her happy? Her housemates. Laughing late into the night with Natasha, Steve, and Bucky. Bucky. How he always knew when she needed that comforting embrace. He knew even when _she_ didn’t. Those steel blue eyes that she easily could get lost in. Those eyes that many times she _had_ gotten lost in. His lips against her hair. That _real_ kiss.

Her eyes shot open as she felt an unfamiliar yet euphoric warmth build in her core despite the coolness of her ice bath. _Desire._ Nic readily defined that warmth this time. She desired him. She wanted James. Natasha was right. But she couldn’t; he wasn’t ready for that. Was he? Was _she?_ And her heart rate began increasing again. Nic knew she needed to clear her mind. Deep breaths and find a distraction. The ice: that would be her distraction.

Inhale. Exhale. Nic’s heart rate began to slow. Inhale. Exhale. But, the mission? Inhale. Exhale. And Bucky? Inhale. Exhale. heart rate increasing. She took a deep breath and slowly submerged into the frigid water. Finally, her mind was at peace. Focusing on her heart rate, Nic sought relief as the rhythmic thumping began to slow.

***   ***   ***

“How’s Sam’s suit?”

“Not as bad as they originally thought,” Steve responded to Nat’s question as he walked into the kitchen. “He’s tweaking it with Tony in the backyard.” Steve looked around questioningly toward Nat and Bucky then inquired, “where’s Nic?”

Bucky’s head sunk prompting Natasha to respond, “she wanted to be alone.”

“She’ll be fine.” Steve put a comforting hand on Buck’s shoulder, giving a gentle squeeze. All three remembered the similar reaction Bucky had after his first mission with the team. While he wasn’t quite as subtle as Nic had been, he too requested alone time, desiring to mull through his internal struggles independently.

“I guess I know how you felt when I would push you away.” Buck flashed Steve a smile that was genuinely returned.

“Mayday,” FRIDAY’s typically cheerful voice was tainted with worry causing everyone’s stomachs to drop. “Nicolette is having a medical emergency in the basement.”

Bucky darted toward the stairwell in the south hall as Steve followed, chiming in, “can you be more specific, FRIDAY?”

“Ice baths,” Bucky beat the AI to a response as he shuffled his feet down the steps, handfuls at a time.

Busting the door open, Steve and Bucky stood silently at the room’s entrance, failing to readily locate Nic. Seeing the bloody pile of clothes next to a basin full of ice water, Bucky’s heart sank as he darted forward, collapsing next to the water. Thrusting his flesh hand into the water, not taking note of the frozen temperature, he firmly wrapped his arm around Nic’s waist and briskly pulled her lifeless body. Natasha gasped from the doorway as she saw Nicolette’s motionless frame lay on the cool floor, her pallor blending in with the grey tile.

“Nic!” His voice emitting sole desperation, Bucky failed to find a pulse upon reaching for her neck. Immediately, he started chest compressions, his own heart pumping with enough force to be sufficient for himself and Nic.

“Towels!” Steve pointed to the closest cabinets as he and Natasha gathered as many towels as possible. Rushing back to cover Nic’s body, Steve was faced with something he rarely saw: helpless tears welling up in Bucky’s eyes.

Time seemed to still as Bucky continued to thrust life back into her body, one chest compression at a time, chanting her name the entire time. Nic’s face maintained the original sickening grey blue hue despite his attempts. Finally hearing Natasha’s commands through her towel wrapping, Bucky paused his compressions and swiftly tilted Nic’s chin upward and gently pressed his lips against hers, forcing air into her lungs. Nothing. With a guttural yell, he continued with the compressions as Sam and Tony crossed the room’s threshold with mouths agape.

Resuming his compressions while Natasha counted them aloud, Bucky was startled by Steve’s sudden proclamation, “her color. It’s returning!”  
“Breath!”

Now filled with hope, Bucky paused on the red head’s command and filled her lungs once more with a necessary breath. As his lips parted from Nic’s, she let out a sharp fluid filled cough, her stomach constricting to rid her lungs of the remaining icy water. There was a communal sigh of relief upon Nic’s newfound movement as Bucky pulled her shivering body into his grasp fiercely.

“We need to get her warm. Bring her upstairs,” Natasha, defaulting to delegating in a stressful situation, stood and began walking briskly to the doorway as Tony and Sam parted ways. Turning and seeing Bucky hadn’t moved an inch, Nat sternly delivered, “now!”

Whisking her up, Bucky followed Nat to Nic’s room in silence; the only sound permeating the air was the chattering of Nic’s teeth through her relentless shivering. Natasha opened the door for Bucky and Nic, promptly closing the door before anyone else could follow, then immediately ran to the bathroom to turn the shower on.

“Nic, don’t fall asleep on me,” Bucky softly spoke into Nic’s towel wrapped frame, firmly pressed against his body, prompting her eyes to only flutter slightly.

“I’ll take the towels, you get her in the shower,” Natasha delegated to Bucky as she began unwrapping Nicolette’s still pale frame.

The severity of her shivering increased as the towels slowly were removed and Bucky, still clothed in tactical gear, stepped into the shower. He slowly released her legs, allowing her to stand within his arms, her hands fisting the fabric of his shirt, clenched underneath her chin as she rested her forehead against his chest. The water cascading down her back, impeded by Bucky’s arms wrapped tightly around her core, felt warm only due to Nic’s low basal temperature.

“Here are some fresh towels,” Natasha spoke as she draped three towels over the curtain rod. Peering through the slightly ajar curtain, she continued, “Nic, ready for me to warm the water slightly?” With a subtle nod, Nat reached in and twisted the knob until the temperature increased. Eyes fearfully widening, Nat curtly voiced, “we have blood.”

“What?” Bucky interrupted in alarm, following Nat’s gaze to the pink hued water swirling into the drain. After pulling his hands away one at a time, they ruled out remnants from either his arms or her back. He lifted her long braid and gave it a gentle squeeze, darker red water flowed from the tip of her braid. “She said she hit her head on the ship.”

Natasha shifted the shower head to diminish the volume of water cascading onto Nic’s head much to her objection.

“It’s okay, doll,” Bucky spoke softly into her ear. “Nat just needs to see where the bloods coming from.” With an uneven nod, Nic reluctantly obliged although Natasha didn’t postpone her search for any head wounds.

“I’m not finding anything,” Natasha removed the hair tie and slowly worked her fingers through Nic’s braid to undo the tight plait. The runoff water gradually increased in clarity to Bucky and Nat’s relief, “just residual. Nic, ready for more warmth?” With a more definitive nod that the first time, Natasha increased the temperature once more before returning the shower head to its original position and drying her hands. “I’ll be right back.”

As the bathroom door clicked closed, Nic looked up toward Bucky and gave a soft smile, trying to convince him that she was in fact doing better; his uneasy returned smile revealed Nic wasn’t nearly as convincing as she had hoped. Shifting her feet slightly, Nic stubbed her toe on his reinforced tactical boots prompting a terse outlet of Russian profanity.

“You’re still wearing all your tac gear?”

“ _Most_ ,” he slyly corrected to which Nic jokingly rolled her eyes. “Feeling warm, now?”

“Yes, my toes have definitively regained sensation,” Nic’s lighthearted tone was rudely interrupted by Nat’s not-so-subtle entrance concluding with abruptly pulling the shower curtain to the side.

“What happened?”

“You really scared us, Nic.” Bucky’s sincere addition was in response to Nic’s surprised expression to Nat’s stern inquiry.

“I didn’t mean to,” Nic was filled with an unsettling combination of guilt and horror. She mumbled into Bucky’s chest as she sought comfort, sinking her face back into his chest. “I-I just couldn’t get them out of my head.”

“It’ll take time,” he responded, unconsciously tracing circles on her back. “You did what had to be done.”

Nic vigorously shook her head, knowing he genuinely didn’t understand. “But, it was them,” her head quickly bolted up, shooting reddened wide eyes toward Natasha, “ _they_ were there.”

“Who?”

“Drakov and Kreitzef.” Natasha’s face immediately drained of color as Nic spat the names through gritted teeth.

“ _Who_?” Bucky was trying to contain his agitation while trying to keep up.

The first to gain composure, Nat succinctly responded, “trainers. From the Red Room.”

Buck pulled back from Nic slightly, attempting to read her expressions, “I thought you said you didn’t know who the man was?”

“I didn’t. _He_ was the third I killed on the ship alone,” Nicolette’s eyes became heavy as she forced back tears from freely flowing in remembrance of the brutality she delivered. “I tried to just knock them out,” she paused and looked toward Nat as if asking for help, “but they _kept_ getting back up and I couldn’t take all three on at once.” Her gaze shifted upward to Bucky, partly speaking as if defending herself and partly trying to justify her actions for her own benefit. “They were too strong. Even for me.”

“They wouldn’t have given you a choice,” Nat quickly defended, “they’re merciless.”

Nearly screaming, Nic shot back to the redhead, “and did I show any mercy? No!” Choking back a sob, she stood in Bucky’s embrace with hands in fists at her sides. “I’m no different than them.”

“Like hell you’re no different!” Bucky’s deep shout made both ladies jump slightly, “you are worlds different from _them_. Don’t you ever tell yourself otherwise.”

“He’s right,” Nat managed to release through clenched jaws. “You did what you had to do to get out of there alive.”

“And you barely were alive,” the voice emitting from the man standing before her was almost unrecognizable due to being filled with so much vulnerability. “I should have been there with you.”

Not sure how to respond, Nic decided to stick with a purposefully cryptic cliché, “guess some fights you just have to fight alone.”

“This isn’t one of those.”

Nat, reading further into Nic’s conclusion like Bucky, added, “we’re your team now.”

Not trusting her own voice to produce a convincing counter, Nicolette simply nodded into Bucky’s chest. Tears were building behind a now-weakened dam, requiring only one syllable to break down the once sturdy fortress. They all stood in silence as Nic heard and felt Bucky’s heart rate slow to a relaxed pace and willed her breaths to become more controlled.

“For the record, I didn’t mean to black out or anything, I was just trying to clear my head.”

“With as much experience as Hydra has with cryo, I figured they’d give you some sort of lesson on hypothermia.” Nic could feel Nat’s smirk despite still having her face buried; she even swore that received a chuckle from said recipient of the cryopreservation standing in front of her.

“Ha-ha,” Nic could only muster up two sarcasm-laced syllables back, not fully ready to smile or laugh.

“I found an electric blanket; it’s on the bed.” Nat quickly surmised, “and Nic, I put some sweats on the counter when you’re warm enough. Barnes, Steve told me he could get some clothes from your room, just let him know what you want.”

“Your drawer,” Nic mumbled to Buck, now hiding her face for a different reason.

“Can you just grab some sweatpants and a t-shirt from the second drawer,” Bucky paused before quietly adding, “from her dresser?”

Right on cue, Natasha’s brow perked up as she placed a hand on her hip.

“Nat, don’t even say it,” Nic laughed into Bucky’s chest.

Feigning innocence, Nat chirped back, “I didn’t say a word.”

“I can feel your smirk from here.” Nicolette finally abandoned her comfort zone and shot a glance toward Nat, immediately confirming her suspicion and flashing an equally loaded smirk to the red head.

Natasha began walking out of the bathroom to retrieve the clothing while retorting, “what you two do behind closed doors on this bed is none of my business.”

“We sleep!” Nic covered her eyes with her left hand as Bucky stifled a laugh.

“Says the two currently showering together,” Nat nonchalantly replied.

Shaking her head in defeat, Nic glanced upward toward Buck and softly spoke, “she’s impossible.”

“Glad you finally caught on,” Bucky quickly winked prompting Nic to nudge him in the ribs.

“While we’re on the topic,” Natasha made her way back into the bathroom with the requested clothes in hand, “Nic, how was your first kiss?” Having placed the garments on the counter, the red head peeked her head into the shower, greeted by Bucky’s disapproval and Nic’s confusion. Feigning surprise, Nat smirked once more, “looks like you have some explaining to do, Barnes.” She quickly closed the curtain, adding, “clothes are on the counter.”

Hearing the door shut, Nic turned to Bucky who had yet to elaborate, “….and?”

“I gave you mouth to mouth.”

“Why?” As soon as the word left her lips, Nic realized that was probably one of the most unintelligible questions she had ever asked.

“When I pulled you from the water,” Bucky paused, only continuing due to Nic’s now worried expression. “You weren’t breathing.” Nic’s worry quickly morphed to surprise. “Your heart stopped, Nic. The whole nine yards. You scared me.” Partly accusatory, Bucky’s voice had increased in pitch. “For the second time today, I-” Nic swore she could have felt a tremble course through his torso before he continued in a restored deeper tone, “I thought I lost you!”

Struggling to formulate a response, Nic felt her own breath hitch at the realization of the seriousness of the ice bath incident and her feelings for this man. Almost inaudible, Nic was surprised how dainty her voice sounded, “I’m sorry.”

“I just,” pausing, Bucky tilted his head forward, touching her forehead with his own, “don’t know what I’d do without you.” There was so much more he wanted to say, so many more emotions he wanted to convey; but, he didn’t know if now was the right time.

Nic brought her left hand up to his neck, slowly ghosting over stubble as she gingerly cupped his jaw. She slowly tilted her head, breaking previous contact as she pushed up on her tiptoes, struggling to read his body language through her own feelings. Feeling the warmth of Bucky’s breath against her jaw, she gently pressed her lips to his cheek, offering the most tender kiss she could muster despite her feral drive. Nic glided her lips over his skin, gently passing over the corner of his mouth where she felt his breath hitch. Unsure how to interpret his reaction, she lowered herself until she stood flat footed once more and pressed herself into his body, resting her right palm and her face against his chest.

As Bucky wrapped his arms even tighter around her core, she heard his heart beating stronger than ever before; although, she was uncertain if the strength was due to discomfort or reciprocity of feelings. All her doubts immediately washed away with the runoff water as he pressed his lips against her hair, kissing her as he had earlier that day. Smiling into his chest, feeling as if her breath was utterly removed from her lungs, Nic believed she finally understood where her relationship stood with Bucky. But, god forbid she look at the man now with her girlish ear-to-ear grin and full-facial blush.


	30. Bait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short breather after the craziness of last chapter.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Bucky demanded as he released Nic from the third choke hold he managed to slip around her that bout.

Nic let out a loud groan as she covered her face in her hands, still sprawled out on her back, between the super soldier’s legs, catching her breath.

“I can read you like a book; let it out.”

“Well, if we had the lights off, I’d win in a heartbeat,” Nic antagonized despite her apparent exhaustion.

“Nic, you can normally win lights on or off.” Buck was evidently not tolerating her gaming mood. Nic sat up and made a quarter turn, flinging her legs over his outstretched right leg as he sat up and bent his left behind her back.

“I just overheard Steve and Nat talking with Fury after the debriefing.” Nic lowered her head and shook it, almost physically trying to rattle out thoughts, “the attack just doesn’t make sense. After a week, we still have absolutely no motive.”

“Sometimes these take time figuring out.”

“But it’s Hydra,” she finally made eye contact with Bucky as she continued her rationalization. “To go that public and not follow it up with some declaration of a grand plan or demand, it’s just,” Nic paused, breaking eye contact as she struggled to sort her own thoughts out, “uncharacteristic. And _that_ makes me skeptical.”

“From here, we let Fury and SHIELD sort out the rest.” Bucky reached forward with his metal limb and moved her long braid behind her shoulder, revealing a clenched jaw. “We all went out there and fought. We did our job.”

“But, what if that was the goal?”

“Not following.”

“What if it was just a ploy to get all the Avengers out there?” Leaning slightly against his bent left leg, Nic leaned on her right arm placed next to his left hip, further intertwining the two former assassins. “Think about it: we hear aliens attacking an innocent nearby city. Of course, we all come running without a second thought. Then, once we get there, it’s just a matter of plucking all the bad guys off then we go home and that’s that.” She shrugged her shoulders as if inciting a response. “It’s Hydra; it’s never that…simplistic.”

Starting to finally catch on, Bucky presses, “you think that wasn’t it?”

“No,” Nic softly spoke as she reaffirmed with shaking her head.

“Then, what?”

“No one on the mother ship was too terribly surprised to see me,” Nic hesitated, worried as she slowly started to draw her own conclusions. “Almost as if they were waiting.”

“You think they were trying to draw you out?”

Nodding, she glanced toward Bucky who had a genuinely concerned expression, “maybe to confirm that I’m still around.”

“So, all of that was just bait.”

“And the real fight hasn’t even begun,” Nic tacked on in affirmation.

Bucky furiously rubbed his face with his flesh hand, mumbling out, “FRIDAY, where’s Steve?”

“Captain Rogers is in the next-door training room with Mr. Wilson,” the friendly Scottish voice responded to Bucky. “Would you like me to send him over.”

“No. Thank you, though.”

“My pleasure.”

***   ***   ***

Wilson had gone to take a break as Nic and Bucky entered with a cryptic message about needing to speak with Steve. Not entirely convinced, but willing to entertain the idea, Steve egged them on referencing their latest battle, “okay, devil’s advocate here: they’re all dead.”

Nearly rolling his eyes, Bucky retorted back, “it’s Hydra, Steve. Are they ever _all_ dead?”

Agreeing with Bucky’s point, Nic went on to entertain the Captain’s query, “what if they were all just pawns. The trainers I recognized, what if they were there just to train the people we fought. From the ease at which we were able to take down _that_ many, I’d say they just trained ‘em up quick and threw them into battle.”

“Just used them?”

“Would you put it past Hydra to do something like that?” Nic understood he was trying to be analytical; however, this guy sometimes tried too hard to find the best in the worst people.

“True,” Steve finally caved.

“It would also explain why I didn’t recognize the,” Nic continued with air quotes, “leader. He’s another nobody.”

“Disposable,” Steve concluded. “So, you think there’s more?”

“Not just _more_ ; but, all the people above the mere pawns.”

“The heads of Hydra,” Bucky added to which Nic nodded in agreement.

“Why would they want you?”

“I don’t think it’s a matter of _wanting_ me,” Nic was done with subtlety, “it’s a matter of enemy control. Eliminate me.”

Further emphasizing Nic’s conclusion, Bucky elaborated, “from what you said the people on the mother ship weren’t looking to bring you back alive.”

“Nope,” Nic agreed, emphasizing by popping her lips on the ‘p.’ “Just bring me back in a body bag.”

“But, why?”

Nearly rolling her eyes now at Steve’s persistence, “well, you all have made a habit of recruiting their people. Think about how many people here were once connected to Hydra in _some_ way: Nat, James, me, even Wanda if you want to get technical.”

“They’re setting a precedence.”

Nic nodded in agreement with Bucky’s comment and added, nearly laughing, “they’re probably starting to take it personally.”

Not wavering his typical work associated stern expression, Steve tersely concluded, “we need to talk to Fury. Now.”


	31. Attack on the Homefront

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, this one is a lot. Buckle up and hold on for some intensity.
> 
> Potential Triggers: graphic descriptions of violence

“It’s times like this when I really wish Wanda was here so she could just read the man’s mind and we’d be done with this discussion.”

Nat raised her eyebrows in disapproval of Nic’s suggestion, “well now that I know your take on Barnes, I can just ask Steve what his best friend thinks of you. Problem solved and no mind reading.”

“You can’t possibly tell Steve what I’ve just told you!”

“Fine, if you promise you’ll grow a pair and make a move already.” Natasha’s confidence made Nic feel so childish for asking for relationship advice.

“ _If_ he feels the same way.”

Nat rolled her eyes at Nic’s stubborn ways. “FRIDAY, where’s Steve?”

“Captain Rogers is currently in his office; although, he does not seem too preoccupied.”

The red head bounced up and made her way to the door despite Nic’s protests. Throwing herself back on Nat’s bed, Nic laughed as she discovered the ridiculous grin plastered across her face. After disclosing all her newfound feelings to Nat, she was finally going to get to the bottom of whatever relationship she and Bucky have…or she _hoped_ they have. Accepting she wouldn’t be able to postpone training any further, she rolled off Nat’s bed and took a few strides to the door when FRIDAY’s voice permeated the room along with red strobe lights.

“Emergency. Intrusion. Main Floor. East and west windows.”

Nicolette froze, hand outstretched for the door knob as the sound of shattering glass reverberated down the east hall all the way to Nat’s room. There was a slew of Russian commands followed by heavy footsteps making their way toward her current safe place. Taking a deep breath, Nic flung the door open with more force than necessary and turned toward the common area, taking a quick survey of the current situation.

Two armed soldiers were making their way down the east hall, directly in front of Nic. One smaller soldier, who sounded female, with a large glowing cane was delegating to the others from the living area amongst a roomful of broken glass. Beyond the evident leader were four more armed soldiers currently battling Natasha and Steve. The two avengers were genuinely struggling which made Nic’s heart rate elevated more than the simple sight of the living room caused. These soldiers were well trained.

“FRIDAY, roll call!”

Immediately responding to Cap’s preprogrammed command, the Scottish accent immediately began providing updates of teammates and the current situation as Nic began fighting the two armed soldiers.

“Wilson is unconscious out front.”

Roundhouse to the first soldier’s head, barely causing harm. Rapid series of three punches to the second’s gut which prompted him to let out a guttural laugh. Shit, this was near impossible.

“Barnes is downstairs fighting one opponent.”

Finally, Nic landed a decent kick to the first one’s chest, pummeling him through the wall into her room.

“Stark is joining the party, now.”

If she wasn’t currently fighting for her life, Nicolette probably would have laughed at FRIDAY’s choice of words. Seeing Tony align his repulsor down the east hall in her opponent’s direction, Nic quickly ducked back into Nat’s room with a curt nod, indicating to Tony it was safe to fire. Her nose immediately filled with the smell of singed flesh as the beam was evidently not set to stun.

FRIDAY continued with her play-by-play updates as Nic practically yelled toward Tony between landing blows on the soldier that had been hurled into her room. “Help Nat and Steve!”

Surprisingly obliging, Tony began advancing toward the south hall as time suddenly slowed. Half way through the living area, the previously still leader slammed down the cane producing a perpendicular spike protruding from the top. With a graceful swing, the smallest soldier twirled the staff and plunging it into the back of Tony’s suit causing no apparent effect until he simply collapsed without warning.

“Tony!”

Nic’s yell of desperation despite her current exchange of near deadly blows with her opponent prompted Steve to turn suddenly and witness Tony’s limp armored form motionless on the ground. That elicited some sort of primal rage in Steve as he managed to wrap both arms around his opponent and apply more than sufficient torque to pulverize the soldier’s neck, rendering him dead.

The short leader, removing the staff from Tony’s suit, spat out in Russian, “halt!”

Only the armored soldier in from of Nic stopped his advances. Given her opponent’s sudden cease fire, she attempted to make a run toward the south hall to assist Steve and Nat; however, the soldier threw her backward at least twenty feet. Nic quickly stood, prepping to fight and realized that while her opponent was still blocking her route to the south hall, he was not fighting unless provoked. Looking over his shoulder, Nic saw the small leader turn toward Nat and Steve, pulling her staff backward, ready to swing.

“No!”

Steve attempted to lunge forward to prevent the impending impact; however, the needle like projection on the staff penetrated Natasha’s side before he could bridge the gap. Her body immediately fell similarly to Tony’s. Steve, driven by rage, was now opposing three of the armed soldiers while Nic made another attempt at subduing her stoic opponent.

This time, Nic’s opponent returned her brutal jabs which appeared to finally make a dent in the large man. Through Nic and Steve’s screams, the small leader turned to face the east hall and donned a calm Russian voice as she began reciting the activation words Nic once easily succumbed to. Steve was grunting out various phrases of encouragement to Nicolette upon realizing the leader’s goal as he eliminated another one of his opponents.

After the fifth dreadful word, Nic spat back with as much hatred as her small frame could muster in the leader’s native language, “you can’t control me anymore.” Nic managed to pin her opponent to the ground, rapidly applying torque to his shoulder as he lay prone, arm between her legs. With a sharp yell, Nic arched her back and swiftly dislocated her opponent’s shoulder as she saw Steve hurled into the center of the living room, nearly landing on Tony’s lifeless body.

“FRIDAY, update on James!”

Nic rammed her fist into the back of her opponent’s head, rendering him unconscious or dead, she didn’t know. At this point, she didn’t even care.

“Barnes has defeated his opponent, suffered two broken ribs and is making his way to the main floor.”

Nic felt a rush of relief, partly from knowing Buck was alive and partly from knowing she and Steve would soon have aid. Horror stricken, she bolted to the center of the room, letting out a blood curdling scream as the leader’s staff barreled toward Steve’s core; he blocked it, landing the perpendicular needle into his arm.

Steve spun toward Nic with a concerned yet confused expression as his eyes began rolling backward and his legs began shaking uncontrollably. “It’s drugged,” was all he could mutter before the needle plummeted into his side faster than Nicolette could possibly move.

Distracted by Steve’s still body joining the rest on the floor, Nicolette began falling to her knees as one of the armored soldiers slipped his arms under her neck and lifted her feet from the floor slowly applying pressure. She was now facing down the south hall with the other soldier in front of her and the leader sauntering to her left. Feeling tears break through, her vision became hazy from the depleting oxygen and the sheer loss of desire to fight knowing her newfound family lie slain on the floor. A loud bang prompted Nic to force her eyes open as a new wave of fight coursed through her veins, seeing Bucky standing at the end of the south hall with a bloody knife held in his metallic grip. The armored enemy in front of Nic spun around quickly to ready for the impending fight.

Giving a quick wink, a gesture she knew Bucky would understand, Nic relaxed every muscle in her body and closed her eyes. Before she could even take an anticipatory breath, she heard the distinctive sound of bone crack under a blade. Opening her eyes, she saw the bloodied knife that was previously held by Buck now lodged between the eyes of the soldier that had her in a choke. Weak from the life pulled from his body, the man’s arms wrapped around her form loosened as she pulled the knife from his skull and made a leap to the last soldier who had assumed a fighting stance toward Buck.

Ignoring the leader’s movements to her left, Nic launched herself onto the soldier’s back and plunged the knife into his neck severing the jugular or carotid. Fully anticipating the pending blow due to Bucky’s sudden horror ridden expression, Nic wasn’t surprised when the leader’s needle wielding staff plummeted into her side before she could even dismount her last opponent.

Feeling the drugged stupor already overcoming her small frame, she miraculously landed on her feet and firmly gripped the staff, preventing the leader from retrieving the weapon. Slowly blinking her eyes, Nic suddenly realized Bucky was standing with his face inches from hers.

“Take it,” she mumbled as she shifted her eyes toward the staff still impaling her side. Luckily, Bucky understood and maintained a firm grip on the long staff, easily overcoming the leader’s weaker grip. Before Nic could comprehend any further movements, she felt a hot sensation penetrate her upper back, right below her left shoulder blade. As she began to feel warmth trail down her stomach, Nic slowly lowered her glance in confusion. The tip of a thick blade protruded from just below where her sternum ended, saturated in red blood.

The confusion upon hearing both Steve and Bucky’s voices made her stir slightly, partially aware of the metal and flesh limbs wrapped around her numbing body.

“Steve, the blood,” she recognized the voice as Bucky’s; however, the phrase sounded as though the speaker was unable to handle the sight of blood. Bucky wasn’t.

“She’s still alive,” Steve weakly reassured, “FRIDAY said Dr. Cho’s on her way.”

Nic knew her eyes were opening and closing; however, she was still unable to see either Bucky or Steve, just blurry figures moving in and out of her unreliable field of vision.

“Nic?” Never hearing his voice that unsteady before, Nic started to genuinely wonder if that was Bucky.

“That drug was strong, she may not be able to hear you,” Steve’s Captain voice was taking over as was normal on missions.

“Nic!” Startled by the yell mere inches from her face, her eyes fluttered open once more actually registering a man’s face near hers. Taking a few more blinks to refocus, she identified Bucky in the foreground with Steve hovering behind. A slight smile formed across Buck’s face as he saw the realization peak in Nic’s eyes.

She slowly tried to lift her left arm up, to feel his face, ensure her sight wasn’t deceiving her; however, the movement caused a radiating pain from her upper back through every limb. Nic grit her teeth together in response to the pain; the action of closing her mouth prompting a mouthful of warm fluid to spill past her lips.

“Oh, god,” Bucky’s voice made her snap her eyes open again. The slight forced smile from before was completely replaced with a horror-stricken expression, “Steve!”

Steve’s expression mimicked that of Bucky’s which further riled Nic’s nerves. Attempting to speak, Nic opened her mouth only to emit an uneven cough that spat blood on both onlookers. Her vision slowly began to fade as she could vaguely hear Bucky frantically yelling, FRIDAY calmly updating, and Steve trying to get any word in. Then, everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know; deep breaths, y'all.


	32. Ultimate Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is totally valid medical advice. Completely. (Sarcasm, y'all.)

“My team was racing to properly repair the inferior vena cava – one of the primary vessels that delivers blood back to the heart.” Dr. Cho paused, fumbling with the papers in her hands to distract herself from making eye contact with the group. “They’re almost done repairing the wound; but, she’s lost more blood than I knew it was possible to lose and still survive,” finally making eye contact with Steve, the doctor added for emphasis, “even for you. Her body isn’t healing as well as it normally does. I’m worried her brain and other vital organs aren’t receiving the oxygen they need.”

“Will she be okay?” Bucky, mumbling through his hands covering his face, knew the question was weighing on everyone’s mind.

“I honestly don’t know,” Dr. Cho took a seat just in front of a large glass window that overlooked a high-tech post-operative suite where the team was told Nic would be transferred to upon surgical completion. “Without the serum, she would have been dead long before I arrived. But, even with her serum, without multiple transfusions, she has no shot.”

“We’re all willing to do whatever we can,” there was communal nodding following Nat’s statement.

She was the only one standing, previously pacing to rid her body of inordinate amounts of anxiety. To her right was Steve who had lost his Captain demeanor to the horrors of their fight then Bucky who had yet to move from his current position with his elbows on his knees and head sunk down. To Nat’s left, Sam and Tony were both still relaxing from the drug of the enemy leader’s weapon that Dr. Cho classified as a strong cocktail of paralytics and sedatives. Steve metabolized the drug the fastest due to his serum; however, despite the clock striking dangerously close to midnight, Nat, Sam, and Tony were still shaking the effects.

Nodding in approval, Dr. Cho turned to face Steve, “she needs type O. You and Tony are the only ones here with O. But, since I don’t know how your serum will react with hers, I’d prefer to use Tony’s first.”

Vigorously nodding while remaining uncharacteristically silent from the daze of the drug cocktail, Tony stood from his perch and made his way to the cot that one of Dr. Cho’s nurses was setting up in the viewing space. He laid down and closed his eyes as Dr. Cho began taking the first sample and explained the next steps.

“We’ll expedite a compatibility test with Nic’s blood to ensure there aren’t any adverse reactions while we collect the first pint.” The doctor handed a small vial of Tony’s blood to the nurse who promptly entered the post-operative room as Cho hooked up a larger bag which began to slowly fill.

“How much does she need?” Beginning to assume his once lost composure, Steve’s steady captain voice filled the small viewing room.

There was evident hesitation as Dr. Cho eventually spoke softly, “maybe six; but, preferably seven pints.”

Nat’s gasp was followed by utter disbelief, “I thought the human body only had nine?”

“The average adult, yes.” Dr. Cho followed everyone’s gazes as they all stood simultaneously, sans Tony, as a hoard of nurses wheeled Nicolette’s pale frame on a hospital bed into the suite on the opposite side of the large glass window. “At her size, she may have only started with eight pints.”

Shaking her head, still in disbelief, Nat concluded, “so, she could only have a pint of blood in her body right now?”

“How is that even possible?” Everyone glanced toward Bucky, barely recognizing the fragility of his voice as he failed to break his gaze from the lifeless form on the other side of the glass.

“It’s not,” Dr. Cho huffed out. “The serum is literally the only thing keeping her alive right now. That’s why I honestly don’t know what we will face if she wakes up.”

“ _If_?” Bucky unintentionally struck his first against the glass, making those on both sides jump in surprise. He gently pressed his forehead against the window, closing his eyes. “She’ll wake,” his wavering voice lowered in volume, barely audible to Steve who was standing directly to his left, “she has to.” He kept his eyes closed, not trusting himself to keep tears at bay and not able to see Nic’s body entirely void of color, nearly blending in with the sterile white sheets.

Bucky didn’t think it was possible for a body to have more pallor than when he pulled her limp form from the frigid waters of the fatal ice bath; however, Nic’s body was evidently trying to prove him wrong. The melodic beeping of the heart monitor he could faintly hear through the glass was the only thing convincing him that her corpse wasn’t lying in front of him for it appeared his eyes were deceiving him. Hearing a new rustling from the other side of the window, Bucky allowed his eyes to flicker open; a nurse walked closer, held up a petri dish and shook her head with heavy eyes. Bucky’s eyes frantically shot toward Cho, nonverbally demanding an explanation.

The doctor’s head fell as she walked over to Tony and stopped his collection. The fear in his voice as he inquired was a striking oddity, “why are you stopping it?”

“Yours isn’t compatible.” Dr. Cho looked over to Steve as she wrapped Tony’s arm, “still game for trying?”

Taking a deep breath and already rolling his sleeve, Steve nodded. “Why didn’t his work?”

“There are sometimes additional blood factors, antibodies, or other elements that cause the recipient’s body to reject the donation. That’s why we check in lab before we actually administer the transfusion.” Seeing alarm across the team’s faces, the doctor added, “it happens even if the donor has the same blood type. It doesn’t mean anything, yet.”

In a similar fashion as before, Dr. Cho sent the retrieved initial sample with the nurse who performed the expedited compatibility verification and began the new collection. The grueling wait time for confirmation was taking its toll on Bucky who resorted to confining himself in his original seat, elbows on his knees, head sunk into his hands. After a while, he heard subtle movements and looked upward to see the same nurse take a step forward with a new petri dish in hand. Involuntarily hitching his breath in anticipation, his heart seemed to skip a beat as the nurse’s expression fell as she shook her head once more in denial.

Dr. Cho stopped Steve’s collection as she attempted to provide some rationale after observing the adverse reaction. “I can only conclude that there is something with her serum that is overriding the typical blood typing requirements. It’s very rare for the body to reject two matching donors.”

“Try mine,” Bucky spoke with all the confidence he could muster despite his voice reeking of desperation.

“Your blood type isn’t even compatible with her, it would-”

“You said the serum is overriding the typical effects, can we just try?”

“We must be methodical about whose blood we test since every analysis we perform, we have to use more of her blood. And she doesn’t have any more to use,” Dr. Cho was now standing a foot in front of Bucky as the two of them argued.

“Her serum was modelled after mine, am I not the next closest match?” Bucky’s deep voice returned, no longer tolerating the wasting time, “If you have a better option, by all means speak up.”

Dr. Cho took a worried step back as Bucky’s frustrations increased, evident by his rapidly rising and falling chest. Steve, now with a wrapped arm, shifted himself between the doctor and Bucky to mediate any further anger.

“Buck, getting riled up won’t help her.” Bucky closed his eyes and labored his breathing, nodding in submissive agreement. Steve turned to Cho as he reasoned, “can he just try?”

While the doctor wasn’t entirely sold on Bucky’s rationale, she believed he did have a point. There was no other medically viable option within their required time constraints. Before she could finish nodding in agreement, Bucky was already supine in the cot with his right sleeve rolled above his elbow. Dr. Cho passed the initial vial to the nurse as she attached the pint bag for the standard collection despite her dwindling faith.

As he stared at the ceiling, Bucky’s mind filtered through every scenario he could conjure, all of which ending in Nicolette dying on that table with him helplessly watching. Too many times in the last few weeks he had either seen her morbidly close to death or outright dead. One time was too many; two was heartbreaking; three was downright unbearable. Feeling his eyes begin to well up with tears, he forcefully shut them and clenched his jaw as tight as physically possible. Maybe out of sheer will, he could make his blood be compatible, bring her back from death’s door. Hell, he would finally tell that woman how he felt about her.

“Mr. Barnes?” Dr. Cho’s voice was a mixture of hope and disbelief; although, Bucky wasn’t sure if his interpretation was due to her interrupting his own optimistic thoughts. The doctor simply nodded in affirmation that the blood was compatible which prompted a sigh of relief from Bucky as he willed his eyes to close as the first smile in hours spread across his face. “We’ll do one more pint after this,” Cho reattached a new bag, passing the full one to the nearby nurse, “and see how you both progress.”

“You said she started out with about eight and lost up to seven, right?” Dr. Cho nodded in affirmation to Bucky’s confirmation. “Then take seven,” he demanded.

“You’ll go unconscious; not to mention your body still has its own healing to do,” Nat shot a worried look to Buck before Dr. Cho could even respond.

“She’s right, even with your serum enhanced healing, that blood loss will halt all bodily repairs.”

“My body can take the hit better than Nic’s,” Buck nonchalantly countered, eyes still closed and head still resting on the cot.

“Buck, we can’t just trade out one problem for another.” Even Steve, the typical voice of reason, failed to convince Bucky otherwise.

Sam took a stab at offering a solution. “Could we just donate to him after the collection? Direct replacement.”

“His blood is just as picky as hers,” Cho surmised, shaking her head in negation. Speaking directly to the stubborn man lying on the cot, the doctor chided, “you could experience systemic wide organ failure if we remove _seven_ pints without letting your body replace it.”

Opening his eyes for the first time, Bucky looked the doctor directly into her eyes and calmly spoke. “You know the solution to that.” Shaking her head immediately in initial denial, Dr. Cho’s demeanor was replaced by a stern façade. Seeing her reservations, but unwavering, Buck pressed, “Medically, why not?”

“Wait, what solution?” Steve inquired as he, Nat, Sam, and Tony all stood in confusion.

“Barnes is asking me to put him back into the cryopreservation chamber after taking the blood.”

There were various responses of shock amongst the group, Natasha was the first to counter with loaded sarcasm, “so what happens after he goes under? We randomly wake him later and hope his body heals itself?”

“Physiologically speaking, it would work if, given she agrees, we collected Nic’s blood once she was healthy, replacing what was removed from Barnes.” Dr. Cho took a deep breath as she turned toward Bucky, “I just don’t know what would happen mentally.”

“I don’t care, do it.”

“Your brain may be deprived of oxygen too long before we can get you fully-”

Bucky, starting to become evidently agitated, nearly yelled, “she is dying in there right now! We don’t have time; just do it!”

“Buck, you may not come back from this!” The steady Captain’s voice of Steve was completely replaced by a voice of desperation and fear of losing his friend.

“If it gives her a chance, I don’t care if it kills me!” Bucky was heavily panting as tears were occasionally falling from his eyes, unable to hold back his own emotions.

“Hang on,” Tony took his shot at finding a potential solution, “can’t she go under cryo until he can get everything safely donated.”

Shaking her head, Cho replied, “she has an even smaller chance at survival given the extent of her injuries.”

“Is there a chance his reconditioning could revert?” Bucky sighed upon hearing Steve’s question and waited anxiously to hear the doctor’s response.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged her shoulders and turned to the majority of the group. “Guys, this hasn’t been done before, we’re all learning as we go.” She turned back to Steve to give him a level-headed answer, “it’s possible his reconditioning will need to be repeated afterwards.”

Turning toward his childhood friend, Steve let out a defeated sigh, “Buck.”

“It’d be worth it for her,” he spoke softly, resting his head back against the cot.

“You really want to do this?”

“For her,” he reiterated, “yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feels; right in the feels.


	33. This Isn't Home Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some hope and Dr. Cho's humor.

“Every day I wake up I keep hoping this all was just some twisted dream.” Nat somberly spoke as she sat down between Wanda and Steve, all yielding to blank stares in the kitchen, nibbling on breakfast.

“I just wish there was some way you all could have contacted us so we could have returned sooner.” Wanda, Vision, and Thor arrived two days after the attack on the compound and were utterly dumbfounded by the update upon returning home. “This whole thing would have ended a lot differently.”

“It went by like a blur, there was no way you three would have made it in time even if we were able to contact you,” Steve, resoundingly defeated, told her for what felt like the tenth time.

“She finally fessed up to liking him.” Wanda and Steve initially donned identical confused expressions; however, both reactions immediately became mournful as soon as they realized who Nat was talking about. “I was coming to talk to you about how Barnes feels about her right before the attack happened.”

“That’s Hydra,” Steve spoke sourly, “just when you’ve found hope, they break it all down.” Fury and SHIELD confirmed that the attack was Hydra’s legitimate fight after the bait battle a few weeks back.

“Who’s next?” Tony’s voice boomed through the living quarters as he and Sam walked out of the south hall.

“We are,” Wanda gestured between herself and Nat as the two ladies left Steve, walking down the south hall toward the medical bay. Upon Dr. Cho’s recommendation, and Tony’s demand, the team had set up a blood bank to ensure everyone has an adequate personal reserve given a catastrophic event happens again. To be conservative, everyone planned on donating one pint a month over the course of a year.

Entering the medical area, Natasha and Wanda ceased all conversation. The only sounds were from their own breaths, the beeping of medical equipment attached to Nic’s still body and the steady hum that Bucky’s cryo chamber at the opposite end of the bay emitted. Both ladies walked up to either side of Nic’s bed where she lay peacefully in a medically induced coma until Bucky’s blood could fully heal her body.

“Completely empty,” Wanda barely whispered to Nat after quickly scanning over her mind to see if there was any indication of brain activity aside from what the monitors could pick up.

“I wouldn’t dwell too much on that, ladies.” Dr. Cho had surprisingly snuck up on both women. “The dosage of the drugs that we have to maintain to combat her metabolism is keeping her pretty deep.” Both Nat and Wanda simply nodded in understanding. “Ready?” Once again, simple nods.

Dr. Cho and her primary nurse were hooking up both ladies to their respective collection bags as she finally broke the ice. “I don’t know you two personally; but, I do know that you both are normally much more vocal.”

“It’s just not the same,” Wanda morbidly responded.

“You speak as if they are both dead,” Nat flinched at the doctor’s blunt choice of words. “Nic is doing surprisingly well today. Way ahead of schedule. And as much as I fought Barnes when he suggested the cryopreservation, I do have confidence in the theory.” Cho looked between both ladies as their defeated expressions slowly began to exhibit traces of hope.

“When do you think it’d be safe to wake Nic?” Nat’s struggle at keeping her hope at bay was evident.

“Honestly, I think two days would be feasible; however, I’d prefer four days to ensure her body is 100% healed.”

“Four days?” Wanda immediately sat up, elated at the doctor’s new offerings which shaved off two weeks from the original estimation.

Dr. Cho couldn’t help but smile at the newfound hope she provided Nat and Wanda. “These two,” Cho gestured behind herself toward Nic and Bucky, “are fighters. They’ll be fine.”

“We should schedule a date for them,” Natasha nonchalantly offered.

Rolling her eyes, Wanda agreed, “lord knows how long it’ll be if we wait on Barnes to finally ask the girl out.”

“They’re not,” Cho struggled to define the supposed relationship of her two unconscious patients, “together?” Wanda and Nat both shook their heads, furthering the doctor’s disbelief, “they should be.” All three ladies laughed for the first time since the attack on the compound. It felt good.

“That’s what we all say!”

Nat followed up with Wanda’s demand, “doc, can you write a prescription for that?”

“It sure is tempting.”


	34. Rude Awakening

The entire team agreed to an expansive list of protocols for waking Nic from her medicated coma. Not wanting to over stimulate Nic and wanting to ensure she didn’t have a reason to wonder why Bucky wasn’t present, rule one was that only one person could be present while waking her. The team decided Natasha would be best for the job; Wanda would be the second person to come in. Rule two was that as opposed to its usual position parallel to Nic’s bed on the opposite side of the medical bay, Bucky’s cryo chamber would be encased in the wall. The pod’s means of protection was only built in case of an emergency; however, Dr. Cho recommended the new placement solely until they could ease Nic into the idea that Bucky had volunteered to undergo cryo.

“Ready?”

Natasha nodded sternly in response to Dr. Cho’s inquiry prompting the doctor to shunt the flow of the medication through Nic’s IV lines.

“Normally this could take 30 minutes to an hour; however, given her metabolic rate, I am guessing she’ll wake within 5 minutes.”

Taking a seat next to the hospital bed, Natasha gently placed Nic’s left hand between hers, stroking her thumb along the width of her soft skin. After a couple of the longest minutes, Nat jumped as a couple of Nic’s fingers twitched. After another minute, Nic’s hands began flexing and her eyes began fluttering; Nat stood up and started speaking to the patient lying before her.

“Nic? It’s Nat,” hitching her breath, nearly overcome with emotion, Nat beamed as Nic’s eyes slowly began opening. “Hey, little sis. How do you feel?”

“I-I,” coughing from just having the endotracheal tube removed, Nic managed to mumble out a brutally honest answer, “feel like shit.” Pulling her hand across her face blindly, Nic yanked the nasal cannula from her nose despite Dr. Cho’s objections.

“Do you know where you are, Nic?”

Blinking a few times toward Dr. Cho, Nicolette slowly pieced back her memory. “The medical bay at the compound.”

“Do you remember why you were taken here?”

Nic’s expression immediately morphed to horror as the blood seemed to suddenly drain from her face. Ignoring the doctor’s question which honestly was probably nonverbally answered, Nic sat up and grabbed Nat’s shoulders, “you’re okay?”

“But, it looked like you were dead!” Nic looked up and down Nat’s body, as if needing to further prove that her ears were not deceiving her. “You. And Steve. And Tony. You all were on the floor.” Nic was vigorously shaking her head as the monitors began blaring behind her.

“Nic, I need you to take deep breaths for me, okay?” Nic nodded as Nat continued to update on the team’s health.

“Steve, Tony, Sam, and I are all fine. We were struck with the leader’s staff which had some sort of paralytic drug,” Nat took Nic’s hand, nodding her head in reassurance. “We are fine.”

Unconsciously nodding similarly to Nat, Nic softly spoke. “Can I see James?” Nic’s heart rate began spiking as she noticed Nat and the doctor share worried glances. Through gritted teeth, Nic attempted to ask as her eyes welled up with tears, “where is he?”

“He’s, um-” Nat’s hesitance was interrupted by Nic.

Furiously shaking her head, Nic barely whispered out, “he’s…gone?”

“No! Oh, no.” Nat’s response prompted Nic to let out an uneven breath despite her maintained confusion.

“Then, what?”

In her most doctorly voice, Cho began a summarized explanation of what happened. “When he brought you in, you had lost almost all of the blood in your body. More than even _your_ healing could keep up with.” Nic nodded for Cho to hasten the story telling. “You wouldn’t have survived without a transfusion. A massive transfusion. Barnes was the only match due to your serum. He demanded we take seven pints of blood to give to you.”

“What are you saying?” The tears began to return as Nic’s impatience grew rapidly.

Nat picked up, unable to withstand the inadequate speed of delivering the news. “Knowing there was only one solution to survive that type of blood loss without injury, he volunteered to go back into cryo.”

Blankly staring at Nat as if not comprehending the words falling from her lips, Nic softly mumbled, “no.”

“He wanted to do it for you.” Nat’s comment didn’t help Nic as her heart felt heavy, knowing the potential mental implications of returning from cryopreservation. The doctor and Nat continued to explain how her donation and waking him would work along with all the discussion the team had prior to agreeing. Their voices fell on deaf ears, though. Nic held up her right hand to stop their ceaseless discussions.

“How could you?” Nic’s gaze was toward the foot of the bed; however, her accusation was directed at both ladies flanking her hospital bed. The monitor’s beeping continued to gain speed as her heart rate began to climb even more. Now yelling at noone in particular, Nic maxed out her vocal limits, “how could you let him go back under?”

“Nic, I need you to calm down,” the doctorly voice returned with Cho’s palms facing toward Nic in both emphasis and defense.

“Calm down?” Shouting her disbelief toward the doctor, Nic yanked out both IV lines, removed the EKG leads, and managed to get off the bed in the direction toward Cho. “How the fuck can I possibly calm down when there is a chance I will never see him alive again?” As Nic's tears fell freely, Nat had made her way around the bed to restrain Nic as Cho pulled a full syringe from her pocket.

“Your body is still healing. If you overwork your heart, you could send your body into cardiac arrest.” Realizing her attempts were not proving effective, Dr. Cho stood her ground and blatantly added, “don’t make his decision be in vain!”

Slowly resonating, Nicolette began to take deep breaths as she looked down at her own body. She just realized she was wearing matching light blue top and pants, softer yet similar to a hospital gown, with blue non-slip socks. But, that wasn’t what Nic was focused on. Coursing through her veins was his blood. What willed her heart to beat was _his_ blood. _He_ gave her life.

“How quickly can I give it back?” Nic held out her arms as if ready to sacrifice her body immediately.

“I was hoping to do the first collection within one month of you waking,” not registering any further alarm on her patient’s face, Cho continued. “Given your body replenishes the blood fast enough, I’m thinking we can collect a decent amount within seven weeks.”

Tears fell knowing that she wouldn’t see him for another three months; however, she made it her personal goal to do everything in her power to make that time as short as possible. Taking a deep breath, Nic continued in such a soft voice that it even surprised herself, “can I see him?”

Natasha and Cho exchange worried looks prompting Nic’s tears to increase as she begs, “please.”

The three ladies walked over to the opposite end of the large medical bay. Cho began pressing buttons on a tablet anchored to the wall then looked over toward Nic as if nonverbally asking if she was ready. Nic gave a quick nod as the doctor pressed a final button prompting a horizontally-oriented white cylindrical pod to slowly begin emerging from the wall.

“Does the chamber have to stay in the wall?” Seeing Dr. Cho shake her head in negation, Nic pressed further as the first two feet of the pod had emerged. “Can you keep him out here until he wakes?” Nic was slightly comforted by Cho’s agreement.

Nic gently placed her fingers on the glass of the chamber as it slowly continued exiting the cavern. First, she could only see his feet, covered in familiar blue non-slip socks. Then, as the pod advanced, she could make out his legs and his hands lying next to his hips through the frosted glass. Finally, as the top of the pod emerged from the wall, Nic gasped and put a hand to cover her mouth. Nic was not prepared for the impact of seeing his lifeless face, despite his expression of serenity, before her. Unable to choke back her sobs any further, she pressed her forehead against the glass as the pod came to a stop and let tears freely fall down the glass, creating an impressive puddle on the floor.

“Nic.”

“This has to be a nightmare.” Nic repeatedly forced her eyes shut and snapped them open as if simply willing this outcome out of existence would be effective. Finally, not able to handle the weight of the situation any more, Nic turned toward the front of the medical bay and walked past Natasha despite the redhead's protests. She slowly began jogging which quickly turned into a full out sprint until she somehow managed to make it to the common area where everyone sat in shock upon seeing her impromptu arrival.

Seeing Steve stand up from one of the barstools at the kitchen island, Nic closes the gap and shoves her fists into his chest, sloppily punching at the super soldier, as her tears relentlessly stream down. “What if, when he wakes up, he doesn’t remember anything?” Nic shook her head and grabbed Steve’s shirt, nearly shaking at him through her yelling. “What if the Soldier wakes up?” Hyperventilating, Nic continued shouting, despite her audience, “what if he-”

Cutting herself off by releasing Steve’s shirt from one hand and cupping her mouth. The tears stopped as if her body ran out; Nic whispered, barely able to formulate the entire concern. “What if he never wakes up?”

Steve immediately wrapped his arms around her small frame as her legs utterly gave out. “I asked him the same things.”

Both slumped down in the middle of the common area floor, Steve just cradled Nic’s head against his chest in understanding. Nic temporarily broke away from her safe haven, surprised he actually spoke, and glanced up to see Steve’s red eyes staring back at her in complete defeat.

“He said you were worth any risk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tear*
> 
> What're the thoughts? Is everyone as much of a wreck as I was?


	35. Rabbit Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, we have a chapter that exhibits exceptional medical advice. (NOT.) Also, there's been too much angst; I had to add a dash o' humor.

Natasha and Wanda told Nic that the morale in the compound experienced a slight up-tick upon hearing her awakening; however, Nic wasn’t entirely comforted by hearing that. Despite having been out of the medically induced coma for over a week now, she still felt like part of her was missing. Laying in the medical bay. Frozen in a cryopreservation pod. To retrieve this lost portion, Nic’s one-track mind was now solely aligned with recuperating enough to provide the necessary blood collection to thaw out Bucky. After receiving advice from Dr. Cho, Nic raided Nat’s food stash and believes she has never eaten healthier in her entire life.

Stumbling out from her room, Nic slouched onto the barstool next to Natasha, still in her sweats from the day before. “I just don’t understand why he couldn’t give a bare minimum and avoid going under altogether,” Nic inquired for the umpteenth time.

Letting out a heavy sigh, ensuring Nic understood she was tired of defending Bucky’s actions, Nat reluctantly responded. “He was adamant after Cho voiced concerns about your brain being oxygen deprived for that long.”

Nic’s head sunk as she piled raw spinach into her mouth, desperately trying to provide her body with the necessary vitamins and minerals needed to perform the collection as soon as possible.

“You can feed your body all the right things; but, if you’re not getting adequate sleep, Cho won’t collect your blood.”

Rolling her eyes in response to Nat’s concern, Nic made her way to the fridge to scramble some eggs. “Believe me, I’m trying.”

“The nightmares?”

Nic nodded in response as she cracked eight eggs into a bowl and began whisking them. “But, different now.” Pouring the eggs into a warm pan, Nic continued as Nat made her way closer to the stove. “Every night it’s just another way that I fail to save his life.”

Natasha began peeling an orange, passing an occasional sliver to Nic. “Is that why sometimes I find you asleep on one of those oh-so-comfy hospital beds next to his cryo pod in the mornings?” Natasha’s comment pulled a slight smile from Nic, albeit partially out of embarrassment.

Nodding, Nic elaborated, “doc told me it wasn’t exactly a healthy habit to adopt.”

“Afraid I agree with her on this one,” Nat offered, raising her eyebrow.

Eating her cooked eggs straight from the pan, she mumbled through her first bite, “but, if it means I actually get sleep, so be it.” Scooping up the next bite, Nic lowered her gaze and added, “plus, if it was Steve, what would you do?”

Nat’s expression fell, “touché.” Purposefully changing the subject, the redhead continued, “when is your next blood test with Dr. Cho?”

“I was going to go ask her now,” Nic flashed a forced smile to Nat, “wanna come with?”

***   ***   ***

“See, I’m not the only one that just sits next to him,” Nicolette jabbed at Nat upon seeing Steve sitting next to Bucky’s pod, casually reading a book. Steve and Dr. Cho perked up upon hearing the two ladies enter the medical bay as Nat rolled her eyes to Nic’s comment as she took a bite of spinach from the bowl she carried with her.

“Nic how are you feeling this morning?”

“I’ll feel better if you tell me I can do the first collection today,” Nic curled the edge of her lip up in a slight genuine smile toward the doctor.

“Have you been eating plenty of the foods from the list I gave you?”

Nic snagged a handful of the raw spinach from Nat’s bowl and held it up as evidence to the doctor’s question before shoving it all into her mouth.

“Is that yours, little lady?” Nat spat back in feigned offense.

“Fight me,” Nic smirked back through a full mouth.

Necessitating specificity, Cho clarified, “more than just occasional bites?”

Slightly smiling, Steve defended Nic, “no worries about quantity. This one,” he points his book toward Nic, “eats as much as I do. But, instead of her usual diet, she now eats inordinate amounts of grilled chicken, steak, spinach, and oranges.”

As Steve, Cho, and Nat laughed slightly, Nic offered a small smile as she walked around the cryopreservation chamber, placing one hand on the glass above Bucky’s chest.

“So, when’s the first date?”

Nat and Steve let out a choked laugh each upon hearing Dr. Cho’s blatant question regarding Nic and Bucky’s relationship. Nic on the other hand looked up and responded with utmost confidence, “shoot, as soon as you wake him up, doc, I’ll ask him myself.”

“He’d never live that one down,” 1940’s Steve added as Nic gave a quick retort.

“Gramps, this _is_ the 21st century.” There was communal laughter in the medical bay as Nic continued, “but do you really think he’d say yes?”

“No doubt,” Steve smiled as he raised his eyebrows, “in fact you two may be fighting each other for who will ask first.”

Smiling as she placed her forehead against the frosted glass, Nic finally felt some version of a positive emotion overcome her. Hope. For the future.

“Can I check?” Dr. Cho held up a small machine, resembling a glucometer, along with a lancet. Sitting up slightly, Nic nodded as she held out her right hand, watching as her finger was pricked and the resultant drop of blood collected. “You people never cease to amaze me.”

Watching Cho shake her head in pleasant surprise at the small meter, Nic inquired, “so, we can do the collection today?”

“Oh, no,” elaborating, the doctor continued, “not yet. But, definitely earlier than one month despite that blood in the urine scare.”

“ _Blood_ in your urine?” Natasha prodded Nic with an accusatory tone.

“It’s okay, I ran some tests and it was just her body doing normal ridding of waste,” Cho reassured. 

“I didn’t think _that_ was ever normal to see,” Steve continued questioningly.

Nic shrugged her shoulders and nonchalantly countered, “if doc says ‘it’s okay,’ then it’s okay.”

“That’s settled,” Cho concluded authoritatively, “we’ll do the first collection in…ten days.”

“Five,” Nic fiercely negotiated.

“Eight,” doc countered.

“Five.”

“Seven.”

“Compromise at six?”

The doctor shrugged her shoulders in reluctant agreement, “fine.” Walking away, Cho glanced toward Nat and Steve in defeat, “you have two of the most stubborn people alive on the team.”

“Yes,” Steve agreed to Cho’s conclusion about Nic and Buck, “yes, we do.”

***   ***   ***

“You should not be this excited to get stuck with a needle,” Wanda chirped as Nic sat rather impatiently beside Bucky’s cryopreservation chamber. Steve and Natasha, who also joined the party as moral support for Nic, were both laughing in agreement.

“The sooner I get this blood collected, not only the sooner he wakes up _but_ ,” Nicolette held up her current bowl of Nat’s spinach, “the sooner I can finally eat ice cream and drink alcohol again.”

“You can’t drink alcohol?”

Ignoring Nat’s concerns, Wanda focused on the other food restriction, “wait, you haven’t eaten any ice cream since waking up?”

“Don’t look at me,” Dr. Cho raised her hands in defense as she made her way over to Nic’s reclined form to begin the blood collection. “I just said eat a well-rounded diet, not eliminate alcohol or sweets.”

“So, abstaining from ice cream is voluntary?” Nic nodded to Steve’s conclusion.

“Wow, he really must mean a lot, then,” Nat began, propping her feet up on Steve’s lap in the next chair over. “I mean, for you to give up your ice cream, come on, now.” Nic rolled her eyes in response to Nat as she saw the blood begin flowing through the small catheter into the collection bag.

“We need to get her out of the compound,” Wanda spoke directly to Nat, utterly ignoring Nic’s presence.

“Agreed,” the redhead added, “and soon.”

“Guys, I’m right here,” smiling, Nic cocked an eyebrow up, ensuring both ladies saw her. “Not until all the blood is collected.”

“How much is needed?” All looked toward Cho, awaiting her answer to Steve’s inquiry.

“I’m thinking four pints will suffice-”

“Why not all seven?” There was a communal groan in response to Nic’s demanding question.

“His body is nowhere near as drained as yours was.” Cho continued to sternly reason, “he still has approximately seven pints – being over twice your size; so, with an additional four, he’d be back to a healable level.”

“Can we collect the four over the next three weeks?”

Dr. Cho glanced toward Nic with a calculated expression, honestly rationalizing the feasibility of that type of collection over such a small timeframe. “I will continue monitoring your numbers; but, at the rate your body has been healing, it’s not impossible.”

Natasha rolled her eyes at the ear-to-ear grin on Nic’s face and decided to cut in, “so in three weeks we are going on a ladies’ vacation.”

“Oh, doesn’t Tony have a house in the Hamptons?” Natasha immediately started trip planning upon Wanda’s recall. However, Nicolette rather quickly cut the two off with questions for the doctor.

“Can’t you wake him up immediately after the last collection, though? I want to be here for that.” The room became silent upon hearing Nic’s demand. 

“There’s a substantial amount of things we need to prepare, aside from the blood, before waking him,” Cho began her rationalizations. “Also, I’m not sure if we should have anyone present aside from medical personnel when he wakes.”

Steve and Nicolette immediately began their refutes, Nic’s voice surprisingly more prominent, “at least let Steve be present.” Steve, shocked by Nic’s selfless compromise, stared at her in honest appreciation. “Coming out of cryo to face a slew of doctors could be a trigger in itself. Let him have some basis of familiarity.”

“That’s actually a good argument, doc,” Nat shrugged her shoulders. 

“You know I never had to negotiate medicine with my patients before Tony convinced me to work for you guys,” Dr. Cho concluded with a smile as she switched out Nic’s full blood collection bag with an empty bag.


	36. Fireside Epiphanies

“Dr. Cho?” Steve briskly made his way into the medical bay,  “FRIDAY said you needed to see me.”

“Yes, Captain,” Cho began, making her way toward Bucky’s cryopreservation chamber with Steve in tow. “Apologies for any alarm I may have caused, I just needed to run something by you.”

“Is it about Buck?”

“Yes.” Seeing the blood drain from Steve’s face in fear, Cho immediately elaborated, “he’s okay. I actually believe we can wake him now.”

Steve took a sharp inhale out of pleasant surprise; however, a slew of questions began flowing through his mind. “But, I thought he needed four pints first? Nic’s only done two collections.”

“After hearing Nic’s adamacy about being present when waking him or shortly after, I had some concerns,” Cho began confessing, turning toward Bucky’s still form. “Concerns about his mental state, specifically his reaction to her. He needs simplicity when he wakes. And, from what I’ve seen between him and Nic, there’s a lot of emotion present. Maybe too much for him initially. So, I took two pints during each collection; we have the necessary amount now.”

Nodding in agreement and understanding, Steve mumbled out a nearly inaudible, “okay.” 

“Captain, aside from my team, you’re the only one that knows about waking him currently. I believe that’s for the best.”

Hesitantly, the corner of Steve’s mouth began to curl up, “how do we do this?”

Waving a hand to the nurses on standby, Cho began explaining the thawing process with extensive scientific explanations. Steve still maintained an utterly confused expression prompting Dr. Cho to attempt her explanation again in layman’s terms. “We’ll first apply the pod’s built in restraints. Then, we thaw his body. Before he can wake on his own, we’ll start the transfusion and administration of meds to keep him in a medically induced coma. Only once all the blood has been infused will we wake him.” There was a room-wide pause as Cho tried to read Steve, “Cap, you understand?” 

“Okay,” Steve nodded, seemingly speaking to himself more than responding to the doctor, “got it. Let’s go.”

The team of nurses and Dr. Cho began unplugging cables and pressing buttons in a seemingly coordinated motion while Steve just sat there in awe. He had never actually been present during this process, even the last time when Bucky was thawed at the compound; therefore, he had no idea what to expect. 

“How long does the whole process take?”

“Last time he woke naturally after 2 ½ hours,” Cho began. “Given we infuse the blood at a rate of a pint per 30 minutes we will be able to wake him in approximately 4 ½ hours.” 

“Okay, that’ll give me time to go tell Nat.” Cho immediately began arguing prompting Cap to rationalize. “If he wakes up on the wrong side, we need someone to keep Nic away no questions asked. Nat will ensure that can happen.” 

Steve exited upon a quick nod in reluctant confirmation from the doctor.

***   ***   ***

“She’s too observant for her own good, she’ll know if something is wrong. And if Nic thinks something may have happened to him, she’ll do everything in her power to try and fix it. Intervene.” Steve and Cho nodded their heads in agreement with Nat’s assumption.

“So, you think it’s best if she’s gone before we wake him?” 

Nat nodded in affirmation to Steve’s conclusion before adding, “but, you know she won’t leave without what she _thinks_ is her final blood collection.”

“We can’t do the collection here,” Cho raised her arms, gesturing around the medical bay where Bucky was currently under a medically induced coma on a hospital bed/out of the pod, two transfusions down. 

“How about in the kitchen,” Nat nonchalantly offered, shrugging her shoulders. “She’s in there right now. Just take a half pint or so and then we can leave for the ladies’ trip tonight.” 

“Didn’t she just give two pints a few days ago?”

Cho nodded in response to Steve’s concerned question. Nat interrupted, ensuring there were no gaps in their potential plan especially since they were running out of time. “Doc, if you tell her she’s healthy enough, she won’t second guess you. Nic’s desperate to get everything collected.”

“Okay, and if she asks when we are waking him?”

“Come on, doc,” Nat was almost nearly laughing at Cho’s nervousness, “if you can put up with Tony and Banner, you can deal with little Nic.”  Steve and Cho huffed out a laugh at the validity of Nat’s statement.

Dr. Cho began preparing a bag for Nic’s last blood collection and made her way out of the medical bay as Natasha and Steve stayed on the right side of Bucky’s hospital bed. Steve slid his hand over Bucky’s wrist, feeling his solid pulse and letting out a breath he was unaware he was holding. 

“He’ll be fine,” Natasha soothly spoke, intertwining her own fingers within Steve’s vacant hand. Steve lifted her hand up and softly grazed his lips over her knuckles, giving her hand a gentle kiss with an appreciative thanks in his eyes.

***   ***   ***

“You weren’t kidding about leaving right after the last blood draw,” Nic, holding up a full shot glass as if proclaiming a toast, praised Natasha for her quick getaway.

Nat packed up Nic’s bag during the ‘final’ blood collection which allowed the three ladies to leave within 30 minutes after Nat and Steve’s conversation with the doctor. Now, the trio sat on the back patio of Tony’s house in the Hamptons, watching the water lap at the sand just yards away, drinks in hand.

“And you weren’t kidding about making up for lost time with that Asgardian liquor,” Nat retorted back as Nic took another sip from her shot glass. 

“Which I am not asking how you managed to sneak that precious vial away from the god…” Wanda held up two hands, palms forward as in feigned self defense.

“But, I’m not complaining.” Nic tossed back the remainder of the limited contents of the shot glass.

“What alcohol selection did you pair it with?”

Responding to Nat’s question while still trying to clear her unaccustomed senses from the alcohol concentration, Nic nonchalantly responded, “nothing.”

“That was _all_ Asgardian liquor?” Nic nodded through a defeated sigh in response to Wanda’s horrified question.

“Nic, just drops of that stuff will put Rogers in a drunken stupor and he’s-”

Cutting Nat off with her right pointer finger elevated in the air, Nic spoke with as much dramatic flair as she could muster. “I have completed my duties. Now, let me drink away my sorrows.” Concluding her statement, Nic leaned over her blanket covered lap and lowered her head in an exaggerated bow. 

“That could kill you, lady,” Nat forced out a laugh, failing in exhibiting confidence. 

“Eh,” Nic, already feeling the inebriating effects, began nonchalantly, “just put me on ice if I keel over. That’s what we do now, right?”

Wanda and Natasha both dropped their heads, unable to make eye contact with Nic’s accusatory statement. Both ladies opened their mouths, hoping an appropriate response would be formulated in time; however, both were cut off by Nic’s sincerity. 

“Too far; I’m sorry.”

“Nic,” Wanda leaned over the edge of her wicker chair and held Nic’s right hand in her own. “He’s a fighter. He’ll be okay.”

“Cho said so herself,” Nat reassured. 

“I know he’s strong, I just can’t help but worry about the what if’s.” Nic took a deep breath and squeezed Wanda’s hand as Nat moved her chair closer to Nic after kindling the fire. “I just never knew _how much_ he meant to me until he went back under.” Surprised by the vulnerability elicited from the pitch of her own voice, Nic felt her guard plummet. She knew her sudden desire to spill out the contents of her heart were primarily due to the comfort the two women flanking her provided; however, she assumed the alcohol provided some innate assistance.

Wanda and Nat sat in silence, understanding their friend finally was able to release.

“I mean, yeah, when he’s... _under_ ,” Nic made a sour face when referring to the cryopreservation chamber, “I miss my main sparring partner and I don’t sleep as well after having a nightmare when I wake up and he’s not by me. But, I could have _predicted_ I’d miss all that.” Pausing, Nic took an uneasy breath and swallowed hard, attempting to slow the rate at which her feelings were ready to flood out in biblical proportions.

“What I didn’t realize was how many times I would miss the little things. The way I feel so protected in his arms.” Nic closed her eyes and shook her head as she continued, “I’ve never felt that before. Or how we are so comfortable with each other - spending hours talking about anything and everything - despite the shit storm that defines our lives. How we basically have this whole non-verbal language, he just knows what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling.” Letting out a sharp exhale, closely resembling a short laugh, Nic began to smile as she let her line of sight fixate on the bluest tint of the flame in front of her. 

“The sound of his laugh. Or the way his eyes seem to perk when his gaze finds me,” Nic’s eyebrows immediately shot up as her eyes widened. “Oh, god. I sound like some fruity romance novel.” That earned honest laughs from all three women.

Sighing away the laugh, Nic continued on her monologue. “The way he makes me feel in general. I get this, I don’t know,” scrunching up her nose, Nic struggled to find an applicable descriptor, “ _warmth_ in the pit of my stomach when he’s around. Hell, even just thinking and talking about him, I feel it.” Nic tossed her head back, staring at the cloudless sky, as Wanda and Nat shared a smirking glance. “Guys, I-” All positivity fell from Nic’s face as she appeared to have a sudden epiphany, a profound realization. 

“I think I love him.”

Wanda couldn’t inhibit the warm, ear-to-ear smile plastered on her face as Nat predictably made a witty remark. “Nic, you haven’t even kissed the guy.” All three ladies erupt in laughter again.

“Shit,” Nic readjusted in her chair and humorously scoffs before continuing. “Thaw ‘em out, wake ‘em up, and get us a room. I’m claiming him.” Pausing, she looked suggestively between Wanda and Nat before unnecessarily elaborating, “ _all_ of him,” while vaguely waving her hands up and down.

The first to recover from a long bout of tear-drawn laughter, Wanda genuinely surmised, “in all honesty, there is something between you two, Nic. I can feel it.”

As Nat and Nic wiped away the remnants of happy tears, Nic shook her head and smiled, “okay, if we’re delving into this heart-warming honesty, I need to sober up.” Clumsily making her way to the back door, Nic inquired, “anyone else need water?”

“Please,” Wanda chirped.

“ _Need_? No; remember, we didn’t try to outdrink a god like you” Nat cockily clarified. “But, I would like one.”

Natasha peered past Wanda, ensuring Nic disappeared through the sliding glass door before whipping her phone out of her back pocket. 

“Felt this go off earlier,” thumbing through her messages, Nat took a deep breath. “It’s Steve.”

“About Barnes?”

Nat’s head fell as she somberly nodded and passed the phone to Wanda. 

Steve: _The Soldier woke up. Buck was in there but not strong enough. Had to sedate him. No injuries._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are y'all's thoughts? Feedback is greatly appreciated!


	37. Bucky vs. The Asset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little interesting here. We dive into Bucky's mind: his thoughts are written in normal script while the Asset's are written in italics. (Bucky needs a hug.)

Noise. There’s noise now and there wasn’t before. And the light is new also. I was asleep; but, now I’m waking up. This feels vaguely familiar. What’s going on? Why can’t I move?

_We’re coming out of cryo. Apparently, we have a new mission._

Who is that? That’s not an audible voice; but, I can hear it in my mind.

 _The Asset. We are needed. Be ready to comply._

No, no, no! Not again. I’ve got to get him back out.

 _But, Hydra needs us now._

I am Hydra no longer. I’m Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th and m-

_No, we are the Asset. The New Fist of Hyd-_

No! I don’t do-

“Buck?”

That’s a new voice. An audible one. It’s familiar. Steve? I know him.

 _He’s our mission._

No, he’s my friend. 

_He’s our mission. A mission that we previously failed. And you know what happens when we fail._

“No! He’s not my mission!”

***   ***   ***

Steve and Sam stood facing the vertically aligned cryopreservation pod in the medical bay as Dr. Cho shunted the medicated drip keeping Bucky sedated and promptly removed the intravenous catheter. They hoped that when Buck awoke, being upright would help diminish any comparisons with his stint with Hydra whom often thawed him restrained within the horizontally oriented electrocution device.

The first attempt hadn’t gone well at all. Bucky immediately saw Steve, the target, not Steve, the childhood friend. However, the two men were already seeing differences from their first go. The first time, the Winter Soldier’s eyes opened, revealing a deep and dark thousand yard stare; his jaw was still yet not firmly clenched as his body remained motionless. This time, Bucky kept his eyes firmly closed and his jaw brutally clenched as he shook his head back and forth as if shaking free from the grips of a bad dream. He was fighting.

From behind a large glass window of an adjacent room, Dr. Cho held up her tablet, indicating to Steve and Sam that Bucky’s vitals were getting dangerously high as he increasingly thrashed his head. Nodding to let her know they understood, Steve took a hesitant step forward toward the restrictive embrace of Bucky’s pod. 

“Buck?”

His body stilled while maintaining closed eyes. Steve recognized this physical change as Bucky’s realization of familiarity; although, he swallowed hard, trying to not allow excess hope to build up again only to be disappointed. 

“No! He’s not my mission!” Bucky’s feral rage was prominent in his guttural yell.

Steve and Sam shared a quick glance that non-verbally confirmed that both men were confused by the unprovoked statement; however, they both felt a sense of relief upon identifying the inflection in the voice as Bucky and not the Soldier.

Upon shifting his gaze back to his childhood friend, Steve saw the fixed stare of Bucky, not the empty stare of the Soldier. He offered a slight smile, “you won the fight this time, pal.”

Bucky simply nodded, replicating a more uneasy version of the smile Steve exhibited.

“You yelled, ‘he’s not my mission.’” Steve’s statement came across sounding more like a question.

“He was there when I woke up. When you spoke,” Bucky nodded his head toward Steve, “he identified you as the mission again; but, I remembered you...the real you.”

Steve nodded in hope as Sam spoke up, “you ready for doc to come back for vitals?”

With a subtle nod toward the large nearby window, Steve indicates for Dr. Cho that it’s safe for her to return. The two men continued asking Bucky questions while the doctor performed various tests. 

“So, _he’s_ gone now?” Bucky nodded in affirmation to Steve’s question. “And you remember everything?”

“I don’t think I would know either way,” Bucky shrugged his shoulders to the best of his ability despite the confines of the restrictive encasing. 

“Remember me?”

“Yes, bird brain. I remember you,” Buck retorted with his typical sass. “I remember all you crazies here.” His positive expression departed as Bucky furrowed his brows, “how long have I been out? And...why?”

“Approximately one month,” Buck clenched his jaw slightly but nodded his head prompting the doctor to continue. “I partially expected that the most recent memories will be the last you’re able to recall.” Cho finished up her exam and began dismantling the nearest restraint, “ready?”

Despite a sharp inhalation out of nervousness, Bucky nodded his head, “yeah, I am.” 

“Take it slow,” Cho demanded as she removed the final restraint allowing Bucky to cautiously make his way to Sam and Steve one step at a time. Bucky gave the three onlookers a reassuring nod prompting Steve to ask the question that was on everyone’s mind.

“What are some of the last things you remember?”

Bucky cocked his head to the side in deep contemplation before responding.  “I remember the last mission we had,” Steve and Sam nod reassuringly as he continues. “All of us having to fance up for that Joint Counterterrorism Conference.” Bucky curls the edge of his lips up and shoots Steve a look of disapproval, “getting me dressed up for nothing. I remember the mission went south but the details are fuzzy.”

Cho didn’t break eye contact from the paperwork she was vigorously writing on. Sam let out a light laugh which made Bucky think that, despite Steve’s evident forced smile, he may have answered the question appropriately.

“What about memories _at_ the compound?”

Thoroughly consumed in thought once again, Bucky paused for quite some time before furrowing his brows and looking directly toward Steve. “There’s a girl.” Steve and Sam nodded for Bucky to continue. 

Raising one eyebrow and shaking his head, almost smiling, Buck recalled his memories. “Sam, don’t you think for one second that I forgot about your scheme to set me up with that Chelsea girl. Still not interested.” Buck let out a huff of a laugh that was immediately muted when he saw the defeated expressions of the two men staring back at him. “What? We’re - me and _her_ \- a, uh,...” Bucky vaguely gestured to and from his own body, desperately hoping they would understand. 

“Oh, no,” Steve immediately confirmed. 

“Definitely not,” Sam added, stifling a laugh. 

Trying to decipher their seemingly unwarranted reactions, Bucky suddenly felt as if there was something missing. “But, there is someone else. _Here._ ” The statement was delivered more like a question as Bucky forced his eyes shut, struggling to dig into the depths of his memories. 

“Do you remember Nic?” Sam shot Steve a worried look, thinking the topic shouldn’t have been broached this soon.

***   ***   ***

“Do you remember Nic?”

The name is familiar. How do I know him? No...her. Why can’t I place a face with the name, though?

 _They taught us to be experts at that - facial recognition. Do better._

Not you again. 

_Focus. Nic._

Right, Nic. Nic? I feel like I should know her. 

_You should._

Was she an ally? Or a mission?

“It’s okay. We’ll get it all back.”

***   ***   ***

“It’s okay. We’ll get it all back.” Bucky flicked his eyes open and head up upon hearing Sam’s voice to see the man offering a genuine smile.

“He’s right,” Dr. Cho pressed. “No need to force anything. But, you could use some food.”

Frantically nodding, Steve displayed another forced smile as he extended his arm, motioning for Bucky to follow them toward the kitchen. Bucky obliged, although Steve’s unsettled expression didn’t get past his observations; that set Bucky on edge. Sam led the way, talking about seemingly irrelevant topics with Bucky as Steve began to lag behind. 

Pulling out his phone, Steve constructed a new text to Nat.

Steve: _Bucky woke up. Piecing back memory. I’ll update you later today on progress._

Natasha: _How bad?_

Steve: _Doesn’t remember Nic._


	38. "I won't fight you."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grab the tissue box.

“I mean don’t get me wrong,” Nic began with weak reassurance, “this place is great. But, I just don’t see why we can’t go back already.” The trio once again made it outside, this time on the sandy beach just beyond the back patio. Wanda and Nat were taking advantage of the sun, happily soaking up the rays, as Nic curled herself under the nearest umbrella in clothes that were debatably appropriate for winter.

“Nic, it’s been three days,” Wanda said, lowering her sunglasses to ensure her unimpressed glare was well received by Nic. “You know, normal people do this vacation thing for a week at a time.”

“Since when are we compared with _normal_ people?” Nic’s retort earned a laugh from all three ladies. 

“Well, consider your wish granted,” Nat chirped, rereading the current display of the most recent text message. 

Steve: _He remembers her - mostly. You can all come home._

Nat smiled as she concluded, “pack up; we leave in 5 minutes.”

“Am I missing something?” Nic’s gaze flashed between Wanda and Natasha who were both hastily packing up. As both ladies hesitated to answer, Nic began gathering her towel, book and water and made her way inside, demanding answers. 

“What’s going on and why do the both of you have ridiculous smiles plastered on your faces?” Nearly yelling, Nic’s voice surprised the two unsuspecting recipients. 

“He’s awake.”

Nic dropped her water bottle in response to Nat’s cheerful update. “Why didn’t you start with that?” Running up the stair to their guest bedrooms, Nic continued shouting as everyone packed. “No one told me? We are having words on the ride home!” 

“They weren’t certain how he would wake, we took you to be safe,” Nat shouted from her room as Nic finished packing, rather messily, and let out a loud groan of disapproval as she passed Nat’s room on her way to the front door. 

Fortunately, with her powers, Wanda could pack faster than lightning and was already loading the jet with her various bags. Nic stopped at the door as her bag was engulfed in red current and weightlessly carried toward Wanda. 

Nodding a quick thanks to Wanda, Nic turned around and shouted into the house, “Nat, you have 10 seconds or we take off without you!” Nic didn’t wait to hear Nat’s witty, and probably colorful, remark as she darted toward the jet only to find a disapproving Wanda on the loading ramp. 

“And do you know how to fly this thing?”

Rolling her eyes, Nic waltzed right into the cockpit and took the pilot’s seat. “I’m a fast learner.” Pressing various buttons, within a couple seconds, Nic had the engines firing up with a victorious exclamation. Her celebration was cut short as Nat was heard swearing in Russian as she lugged her bags onto the aircraft. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Nic flashed the redhead a cocky smile. The gesture was not returned. 

“Up,” Nat demanded. “I’m driving.”

***   ***   ***

“Are we there, yet?”

Nat’s eyeroll to Nic’s question could be _felt_. “Two minutes until landing.”

Still pacing back and forth in the airborne jet, Nic couldn’t stop twirling her thumbs in anticipation. “I still can’t believe you two kept that from me.” Wanda deliberately let out an audible frustrated moan. There had been one topic of conversation the entire 20 minute ride and two of the three passengers were not having it anymore.

“Nic,” Nat firmly began, “we’re not going there again.”

After more pacing, Nic finally saw the compound from the front windshield. Letting out an involuntary gasp, she made her way to the back of the craft, ready to race down the loading ramp as soon as the hatch opened. 

“Don’t do anything too crazy, okay?” Nic quickly nodded to Nat although she wasn’t entire certain what the redhead’s meaning entailed. “Like we said earlier, we don’t know exactly what all he remembers. Take it easy on him.”

“Of course,” Nic retorted back. This had to be the longest landing in the history of flying quinjets. Nic ceaselessly tapped her toes and even caught herself pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth out of sheer nervousness. The only thing Nic wanted to do was run to Bucky and throw herself into his arms; however, she promised Wanda and Nat that she would let the man make the first move. Even though, from experience, they all know that means no one should hold their breaths. 

The craft jerked upon making contact with the floor of the garage; Nic held her breath as Wanda pressed the button to release the back hatch. Before the platform was entirely lowered, Nic exited and ran to the garage door. Not hearing the door immediately close behind her, she realized that Wanda and Nat were closely tailing her. In record time, she made her way down the south hall, nearly in a full sprint only to stop dead in her tracks upon entering the common area. 

With his back to her, Bucky stood facing the kitchen approximately 20 feet away; Steve’s hands were on his shoulders as he spoke softly, not yet noticing that the three women had arrived. Tony, Vision, and Sam stood up from their respective lounging positions on the couch as they saw Nic abruptly enter. 

“James.” 

Nic’s voice was nearly a whisper; however, upon seeing Bucky’s back tense upon hearing his name, it was evident he heard. Slowly, he turned out of Steve’s grasp and faced Nic. Her eyes began to water slightly as she struggled to get a reading from his calculated expression. Not able to hold back much longer, she slowly took a step forward. 

Bucky exhibited no adverse reaction, actually no reaction at all. Nic took another step forward, less hesitant than the first, followed by a third as she offered a slight smile. Bucky’s chest suddenly rose as if he took a sharp inhalation with Nic’s fourth step prompting her to pause. Suddenly, he forced his eyes shut, clenched his jaw and vigorously shook his head.

“James?”

With a mixture of empathy and concern, Nic hoped her voice would help him fight the mental battle she knew he was waging.

***   ***   ***

“James.”

Nic. I recognize her. 

_Good. Also, well done in fooling Steve into thinking you remembered._

Why do I listen to you?

_Focus. Nic. Remember what she did to our friend?_

Our friend? Natasha. She tried to kill Nat.

_Good. And…_

Then, she tried to kill Steve. And Tony. And me. 

_Yes._

But, Nat and Steve were both my missions at one point. This isn’t right…

_We have a new mission, now. Do not question authority. You know what happens when you doubt them._

“James?”

_Act now._

But, I-

_Now!_

I-I can’t

_Then, goodbye._

***   ***   ***

Bucky’s posture suddenly became stoic as his eyes went dark and empty. Two long strides from the Soldier is all it took to close the gap between himself and Nic. Without further warning, his flesh hand was curled around her throat as her legs dangled over a foot above the ground.

Seeing others begin to lunge forward, but not being able to vocalize beyond strained grunts, Nic held up her right hand to signal the onlookers to stand down. Knowing she was capable of overpowering the Soldier, they reluctantly obliged. 

Trying to force down the thought of the piercing pain, Nic managed to mumble out one gargled syllable, “why?’

“You tried to kill them,” the Soldier tersely responded through gritted teeth. Nic noticed a rapid shift of his eyes to his right which she followed; she immediately understood his reference to her first week at the compound when she saw Nat and Steve standing side by side with horror stricken expressions. 

Not tolerating further delay, the Soldier whipped Nic’s small frame backward prompting her to firmly grasp both hands around his flesh wrist as he plummeted her back into the ground. Despite the yells from the others and Nic’s sharp yell as the air was forced from her lungs, the Soldier failed to release his prey. 

Releasing her grip from around his wrist, Nicolette allowed her arms to fall to the side in defeat. “Won’t fight you,” she managed to force out with air she was unaware she had. 

Shifting his weight, the Soldier flung his right leg over Nic so he was straddling her torso. Nic felt tears slowly fall from her eyes as her vision became fuzzy.

“James, please.”

Refusing to break eye contact with the man above her, Nic let out a final plea despite not being able to hear her own words as her senses began failing from lack of oxygen. As her eyelids rendered half her vision black, she saw the glint of his metal fist behind his head; he was coiling up for a fatal punch. The metallic shimmer was overcome by fluid like red wisps as his cybernetic limb was immobilized just before Nic’s vision went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.


	39. Violation of Privacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel here!! And trust me, it's a glorious light once we depart the angst train for good!!

Nic woke the next day to a knocking on her door; debating on how to respond, Nic settled for an audible groan from the depths of her pillow. Turning her head just enough to see who was softly walking in, Nic saw Natasha. 

“Hey, you,” the redhead gently began. “No one’s seen you since...Barnes.”

All Nic offered was another groan in response. 

“You doing alright?”

Nic rolled onto her back, revealing a severely bruised neck, and silently cocked her eyebrows up.

“Okay,” Nat carefully began, choosing to take a different approach as she extended the plate of food forward. “Here’s breakfast.”

“Not hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten since the Hamptons; please try something.”

Nic pushed the plate away prompting Natasha to set the dish on the bedside table. 

“How is he?”

“I haven’t seen him today; but, yesterday, after the whole ordeal, he was very quiet,” Natasha took a deep breath before continuing. “He did ask to talk with Wanda. They’ve been down in the training rooms since.”

“Doing what?”

Nat silently shrugged to which Nic responded by curling back up in her bed.

***   ***   ***

The next two days passed by in a blur. Nic stayed cooped up in her room, wanting to ensure she gave adequate space for Bucky despite everyone reassuring her that he voluntarily confined himself to the training room. The timely food deliveries maintained their predictability with nearly everyone taking a shift. Every conversation had the same general gist: Nic, how are you; Nic, you need to eat; Nic, you should get out. After delivering semi-satisfactory answers, Nic would always be sure to ask for an update on Bucky and was typically disappointed by dodgy answers.

***   ***   ***

Nic’s blank stare at the textured walls of her room where interrupted by more knocking. She furrowed her eyebrows when her visitor failed to wait for an appropriate greeting before entering. Before Nic could divulge a witty remark, she glanced toward her intruder to see an exhausted Wanda carrying a full plate of food.

“Feeling lunch?”

“Uh,” Nic glanced toward her nightstand which started resembling the kitchen sink of a frat house, a hoard of dirty dishes with hardly touched meals. “Not hungry.”

Wanda gave a defeated sigh as she slid the newly assembled plate next to the prior one. Nic shifted upward so she was slumped against the headboard prompting Wanda to sit on the edge of the bed, facing her depressed friend. 

Reading Nic’s nonverbal concern for Bucky, Wanda gave a slight smile before elaborating. “After the...episode, he asked to meet me downstairs in the training room you used for reconditioning.” Seeing Nic’s expression morph to horror, Wanda quickly continued, “he’s okay. He just wanted to be somewhere he knew he wouldn’t be a threat to anyone.”

Nic nodded, still not entirely understanding why or what Bucky’s goal was. 

“Let me back up first. What all do you remember from the incident?”

“Everything up to him recoiling for a punch then, around his arm, I saw your red,” Nic waved her hands vaguely in the air, not entirely sure what to call Wanda’s powers; fortunately Wanda smiled and responded in understanding. “Then everything went black.”

“So, after that, I had to physically force him to release you,” Wanda paused as Nic’s hand shot up toward her throat. The bruising had been very bad later that night; however, Nic’s serum enhanced healing had worked better than ever as not a trace of injury was left. “When he saw both Nat and Steve run to your side, it triggered some sort of mental battle-”

“Between him and the Soldier,” Nic interjected to which Wanda nodded.

“Barnes won pretty quickly,” Nic smiled hearing Wanda’s reassurance at Bucky’s strength. “But, then the confusion struck and he started asking questions about your relationship with the team.” Wanda took a deep breath, almost as if she was dreading the next part of the story. “Eventually, he believed that you were in fact a part of the team, permanent resident, and a close friend to everyone here; although, he still couldn’t remember.”

Seeing Wanda stalling, Nic expedited the story, “Nat said he asked for you to meet him in the training room. What for?”

Wanda shifted uncomfortably on the edge of the bed, pinching the hem of her shirt between her fingers while she debated how to continue. “He asked me to bring his memories forward.”

Nic’s expression morphed into confusion. First, how is that even accomplished? Second, why would she be so nervous about telling Nic about that? Evidently Nic’s utter confusion was evident on her face which prompted Wanda to elaborate. 

“You know I’ve sworn to everyone here that I’d never enter their mind, invading their privacy. That’s why I struggled with what he asked me to do.”

“I’m sorry, I-” Nic paused as she pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to wrap her head around what Wanda was attempting to explain. “How does that even work? Bringing memories forward?”

Taking a deep breath, Wanda dove straight into explaining the process. “With his permission, I dig around in his mind to find the memories that involve you. We found them; however, they’re within this metaphorical box or cage that was built due to the last bout of cryo.” Seeing Nic nod in understanding, Wanda continued, “I’m helping him learn how to break down and open the box and release the memories. He’s getting the hang of it; short bits of memories escape every now and then. But, when those fragments come to light, I see and feel everything he did in those memories.”

“But, he knows that, right?” Wanda nodded to Nic’s initial question prompting a follow up. “So, why are you still uneasy about it?”

“Occasionally something Hydra planted will pop up and it,” Wanda’s head sunk as she softly finished her sentence, “it triggers a relapse of the Soldier.” Seeing Nic’s expression falter, she continued, “but, we’re going to work on identifying those triggers so he can be in full control again.”

Nodding her head to reassure herself more than anything, Nic responded, “okay. But, what else are you uneasy about?”

“There’s a lot of…” pausing, unsure how to finish her sentence, Wanda scrunched her nose as she softly spoke, “you in those memories. I feel like I’m violating your privacy as well.”

“Wanda, you do whatever you need to,” Nic held both hands up with palms forward. “Absolutely anything, you have my permission.”

Laughing at Nic’s straightforwardness, Wanda picked up the small bowl of fruit and set it in Nic’s lap in a not so subtle reminder. Reluctantly, Nic took the hint as Wanda continued, “he only has fragments of memories of you right now; but, as soon as we started, there was a flood of emotions. All tied to you that surged forward.”

Asking for clarification, Nic inquired through a mouth full of strawberries, “so, he knows I’m not...bad?”

“Oh, definitely!” Nic was surprised by Wanda’s excitement. “He feels a deep connection with you. He cares about you, wants to protect you with every fiber of his body. But, it’s like he doesn’t know why without the memories. However, it’s that strong protective nature that is pushing him to work at this non-stop until he’s done.”

“Until he remembers the last however many months since I’ve been here?”

“Until he remembers _you,_ ” Wanda gave a soft smile, “that’s his true goal.”


	40. "Chocolate or Vanilla?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is a good bro. But, he eventually draws the line.

Mid-afternoon the next day, Nic’s room filled with the wonderful smells from the kitchen. She smiled as she thought about the two times that Clint had made his compound-famous pasta dish. He gave it some fancy name; but, Nic couldn’t remember it to save her life right now. She found herself actually looking forward to her pending dinner delivery as she decided to get lost in a few chapters of a book that Vision had brought when he evidently drew the short stick for Nic-care.

Before she could even finish the next ten pages of the science fantasy, there was a knock on her door. Early for dinner. Shrugging, Nic hollered, “come in.”  
Flinging the door open with more force than necessary, the highly defeated super soldier immediately plopped himself down on the foot of her bed with a hefty sigh. 

“Uh, Steve,” Nic began cautiously. It wasn’t every day that Captain America would waltz into her room looking so exasperated. “May I help you?” 

“Bucky got mad at me,” he huffed out.

“For what?”

“Not taking care of you.”

Still not fully understanding, Nic pressed further, “but, I’m fine.”

“That’s what I said.”

“ _And…_ ” Nic just about rolled her eyes at the molasses like speed of Steve’s delivery of news.

“He said he knows when I’m lying. And, I did lie.” Steve turned toward Nic and held her right hand between his. “Nic, you’re not doing okay. You’re not sleeping, I can see the bags under your eyes getting worse each day. And, you’re not eating; it’s only been four days and I can see your cheeks hollowing out and you don’t have a pound to lose.”

Without breaking her disapproving glare toward Steve, Nic released her own hand and snagged the leftover roll from one of her previous meals, took a bite, set the returned the stale bread to it’s originating position and replaced her hand between his. 

With full cheeks, Nic mumbled out, “happy now, Cap?”

With a light scoff, Steve retorted, “you know he told me what to do if you gave me sass,” he flung his hands up with palms forward in defense, “his words, not mine.”

“Oh, really,” Nic decided to entertain Steve’s enthusiasm. “And what might that be?”

“Well, he remembered one of our morning runs. With the three of us.”

“No way am I going to run a marathon right now,” Nic rolled her eyes. 

“Not that,” Steve shook his head as if he couldn’t believe the order he was given by his childhood friend. “Buck told me about the memory he had of having to carry you back into the house because you were so exhausted.”

Genuinely laughing for the first time since the ladies’ vacation, Nic retorted, “oh, the time that I actually maintained a lead on him the _entire_ run?”

“Yeah, he had a comment about that, too…” Steve’s soft spoken comment didn’t get past Nic’s excellent hearing.

“And, what might that comment have been, Cap?”

Steve’s face flushed as he quickly began shaking his head, “I’m not repeating it.”

“Why not?” Nic was almost getting offended by this point. 

“It’s inappropriate.”

“Is it about me?”

“Well,” Steve struggled to answer the question but settled for honesty after seeing Nic’s disapproving eyebrow raised sky high. “Yes.”

“Tell me, dammit!”

Covering his face with both hands, Steve quickly mumbled out, “he said he like running behind you for the view.” 

Silence. That’s all Nic could deliver in return. Silence. Natasha would be disappointed in her lack of witty remark. So, all this time, Bucky has been lagging behind Nic solely for the view. Bucky’s a butt guy. Duly noted. After finishing up her internal monologue, Nic fails in her attempt at removing the grin plastered on her face as Steve finally reveals his still flushed face. 

“So,” Nic began with limited composure, “what does all this have to do with me and giving you sass?”

“Right.” Steve stood up, plucked Nic off the bed, flung her over his shoulder and waltzed right out of her room despite her grunts of disapproval. 

“Steven Grant Rogers!” Nic did her best to maneuver from his grip as the two made their way to the common area. 

“Ah! She lives!” Tony’s proclamation reverberated off the room of the common area as Steve finally put Nic down in the midst of a roar of applause in response to the grand entrance. 

Hugs were shared as everyone migrated to the dining room table which was already set up. Nic took her usual seat at the nearly full table with Bruce taking Peter’s empty seat; however, Nic was disappointed by the vacancy to her left. Bucky’s seat. It only gave slight reassurance to Nic when Wanda told her she just ran a full plate downstairs to Buck’s room.

***   ***   ***

Nic had eaten more food in this one sitting than the last four days combined; Clint made a failed effort at making her feel guilty for not ‘adequately indulging in his glorious masterpiece.’ Everyone decided not to press further as Nic denied her ice cream for the first time since moving into the compound.

Without warning, Nic heard a buzzing noise followed by Steve jumping in his chair, spilling his water on his empty plate. There were jokes tossed around about his clumsiness; however, Nic couldn’t help but keep hearing that buzzing noise as Steve kept tilting his head to the side as if trying to hide something. She finally realized that buzzing sound was a voice. But, who was it? And from where?

In sudden realization, Nic stared toward Steve with wide eyes and mouth agape. “Steve, is that…” Nic couldn’t bring herself to say his name out of fear of disappointment but slowly pointed to her ear. 

Reluctantly Steve nodded as the rest of the table shifted uncomfortably. “Yes, it’s Buck. We wanted to test how he reacted upon seeing and hearing you. This way,” Steve tapped his ear that contained a well hidden earbud, “he can let us know how he’s doing.”

“Wait, see?”

“He has access to the security cameras in the common area right now,” Steve responded by pointing up toward the nearest camera to which Nic’s gaze followed.

“Hold up, short stack,” Tony broke in as if demanding a time out, “you could hear that? I lowered the volume to ensure it snuck past your fancy serum hearing.” 

Nic nodded silently and began responding as Steve cut her off, “it’d help if he would stop yelling.” It was evident that Steve was primarily speaking to Bucky, not the group. 

“Why is he yelling?”

Tilting his head back in defeat, Steve reluctantly replied to Nic, “he keeps telling me to ask you to eat more.”

After confirming from Tony that Bucky can hear everything she says, Nic faced the corner camera and cocks an eyebrow up. “Someone’s being a little hypocritical then; because, from what I hear, you’re not eating too well yourself.”

Steve, laughing at Bucky’s evident response, relayed the audio from the earbud, “he’s wondering who ratted him out."

Wanda reluctantly raised her hand and provided her defense, “Nic asked and of course I’m going to be honest, she’s intimidating!”

Even through the communal laughs at the table, Nic could hear an uptick in the buzzing from the earbud that she assumed, and hoped, was Bucky laughing. 

Suddenly Steve tore the earbud out from his ear while shouting, “dammit, Buck. Tell her yourself!”

Nicolette accepted the small device and gently placed it in her ear, holding her breath waiting as if the first sounds were about to fall on formerly deaf ears.  
“Hey, doll.”

Flinging her hands over her mouth and nose, the tears that spontaneously formed in Nic’s eyes suddenly let loose, falling freely down her hands.

“No, no, no,” Bucky’s voice chanted in her ear, “don’t cry.” The pitch in his voice picked up, indicating to Nic that her emotions weren’t the only ones getting carried away. 

Looking up toward the camera, Nic lowered her hands and gave an honest smile, “happy tears, I promise.” Hearing faint laughter coming through the earbud, Nic sniffled back the emotional onslaught. “So, what did you need to tell me?”

“I can tell you haven’t been sleeping well.” There was a slight laugh as Bucky continued speaking through the device, “before you say it, I know I haven’t either; but, I can’t help but worry about my best girl.”

Once again, Nic found herself forcing back pending tears as she responded, “I’ll sleep better once you can sit right here,” Nic concluded with a pat on the vacant chair. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just afraid of hurting you again,” Bucky’s voice faltered as he struggled to continue, “I can’t risk it. You mean too much.”

“I’m fine, honest. I-” Nic cupped a hand over her mouth, unable to hold back the tears any longer as Clint reached over and pulled her into his arms as she began sobbing, barely getting out her next words.  “I just miss you so much.”

“I miss you, too.” There was a pause as Bucky let Nic regain her composure, “soon, I promise, doll. Very soon.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that, James.” From Clint’s arms, Nic smiled up toward the camera and she would have sworn she could _hear_ Bucky’s smile through the small earbud. 

“Can you do me a favor?” Nic furiously nodded prompting Bucky to continue. “Can you give an honest effort to sleep tonight?”

Nic let out a light laugh, “only if you do the same, sarge.” That elicited a proper laugh from Bucky. 

“Copy that, ma’am.” 

Nic struggled to keep her smiling and laughing to a reasonable level; she knew she was failing miserably.

“Mind passing the earbud to Wanda? She was the one grading my progress.”

Once again blushing and laughing, Nic nodded her head in agreement, “no problem. Sleep well.”

“You too, doll.”

Nic reluctantly passed the small device across the table to Wanda as she glanced around the table for the first time since taking the earbud from Steve. Everyone’s eyes were either full of tears or had a slight red hue. Unable to remove the ridiculous smile from her face, Nic excused herself from the table and rinsed her dish. After another series of longer-lasting hugs, Nic waved to the camera then made her way back toward her room, partially believing she may actually get a decent night’s sleep despite it being only 9:10 P.M.

***   ***   ***

Rolling over to the sound of a light knock on her door, Nic rubbed her eyes, surprised that she had actually fallen asleep at all. Looking at the clock, she was even more surprised at the reading: 9:55 P.M. There was another knock as she lugged her body out of bed. Her visitor’s persistence made her nervous: someone would only wake her if there was a genuine problem, especially knowing how rare sleep was for her. Groggily leaning on the door frame, Nic slowly opened the door as she rubbed her eyes.

“Chocolate or vanilla?”

Recognizing his voice, Nicolette flung her hand away from her eyes to see those steel blue eyes staring back. Bucky. Without warning, Nicolette launched herself toward him, jumping into his arms and wrapping her legs firmly around his core, desperately needed physical confirmation he was present. Bucky, struggling to wrap his arms around Nic due to both hands being occupied with a pint of ice cream, pulled her body into his as he slightly stumbled back, pleasantly surprised by the grand welcome. 

“James,” Nic cried out into the crook of his neck, unable to wrap her brain around any other syllables. They could both feel her tears saturating his shirt; but, neither cared. They were finally in each other’s arms again.

“I’m so sorry, Nic.”

Nic pulled back upon hearing his incessant chant of apologies and shook her head, still not releasing her legs as she placed a hand on either side of his scruffy face . “James, it wasn’t you. You won that fight against him. And you, James, are here now. That’s what matters.” Pulling his body into hers once more, Nic continued to dismiss further apologies. Finally defeated, Bucky let out a sigh as both happily stood there in comfortable silence. 

“I, uh,” Bucky slowly began as he shrugged shoulders, “still have the ice cream.” 

Nic let out a light laugh as Bucky started walking toward the kitchen, “chocolate, please.” 

Bucky set Nic down on the island, facing away from the common area, then retrieved a spoon and replaced the carton of vanilla. Nic opened the chocolate pint as Bucky took the first scoop and handed it to Nic. 

“Wanda told me you gave up ice cream…” The disapproving look Bucky flashed Nic only made her smile. Taking the bite, Nic wrapped her legs around Bucky and pulled him closer to her, locking her feet together at the small of his back. 

“Had to eat healthy to save your butt after you volunteered for cryo,” Nic arched an eyebrow to emphasize her disapproval.

“Anything for you,” Bucky smirked as he snatched the spoon and shoveled a massive bite into his mouth. 

“You remember?”

“Everything,” he genuinely mumbled through a full mouth.

Nic took the spoon away from Bucky and set it, along with the pint, on the counter to her left. “In that case, I need to ask you something. Wi-” Nic was suddenly stopped by Bucky’s metallic hand over her mouth. 

“Me first.” He took a deep breath as he moved his hands to Nic’s hips. Her heart seemed to skip a beat, from the newfound physical contact or from the anticipation of the conversation, she wasn’t certain. “Before all the memories came back, I felt this rush of emotions. About everything from specific people to the team to life in general. There was one emotion that trumped over all others. And that was one about you.” Bucky smiled as he continued while making eye contact with Nic. 

“Initially, I couldn’t define it; foreign yet pleasant.” Bucky licked his lips as he contemplated how to continue. Little did he know that subtle movement made it hard for Nic to focus on the words coming out of his mouth. “The more memories I uncovered, the more obvious this emotion became.”

Bucky shifted his hands to Nic’s shoulders and gently began moving down her arms until her hands were in his. “Nic, I finally realized something.” Lifting her right hand to his lips, Bucky softly kissed her knuckles then anchored those blue eyes on hers. “I love you.”

Without hesitation and with the largest smile she could muster, Nic confidently responded, “I love you, too, James.” Nicolette let out a huge sigh as she added, “and one more thing…”

Nic freed her right hand from his grasp and planted it on his chest. Ever so slowly moving her palm upwards, she traced the scarred ridge where metal meets flesh to the peak of his shoulder. As she moved her right hand toward the base of his neck and upward, Nic felt that warmth in the pit of her stomach scorch hotter than ever before. Moving her face closer to his as her fingers slowly traced down Bucky’s jaw line, Nic nudged her nose against his, allowing her lips to hover dangerously close to his. 

Feeling Bucky’s breath hitch in anticipation, Nic smiled and bit her lip in excitement. Gently cupping his jaw, Nic pulled Bucky’s mouth closer to hers until their lips ever so slightly pressed together, resulting in the softest kiss either could muster. While that kiss was rather innocent, it definitely broke the dam that was no longer restricting now uncontainable lust. Feeling his lips forming a smile against hers, Nic moved her hand to the nape of his neck and intertwined her fingers in his hair as she pressed her lips into his once more, this time with more ferocity, more desire. 

Bucky reciprocated the action by delivering equal, if not more, intensity and wrapping his metallic arm around her waist and pulling her body flush against his as his flesh hand danced in her loose braid. The new pressure and contact drove Nic wild which Bucky gladly soaked up. Lips still in contact with his, Nic glided her tongue slowly against his top lip to which Bucky promptly returned the favor which resulted in a more passionate kiss than before with just the right amount of pressure, speed, tongue, and lip. 

Nic broke the kiss off, keeping her forehead against his, to take a deep breath as if coming up for air after having been submerged for minutes. Both of their chests were heaving, trying to catch their breaths which elicited a smile from both. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now, doll.”

“What’s been stopping you?” Nic teased but didn’t give him adequate time to answer as she tilted her chin forward, barely allowing their lips to touch. Pulling his bottom lip between hers, Nic ever so slightly bit down on the flesh.

That evidently elicited some primal arousal out of Bucky as he pulled her body into his and kissed her with a level of passion that would put the previous kiss to shame. Nic tightened her legs around his core which prompted Bucky to let out a moan that would be more aptly described as a growl.

Without warning, there was a whole slew of cat calling and enthusiastic cheering from the south hall as the group began making their way into the common area behind Nic.

“Get a room!” Nic turned around, still not releasing Bucky from her muscular legs, to see Tony dramatically covering his eyes after his comment. 

“About damn time,” Nat cocked an eyebrow toward Nic. 

“What are you all doing?” Nic gestured toward Tony, Nat, and Sam who were currently handing money over to Steve. 

Sam reluctantly answered, “we had a bet on how long it would take you two to get together. Steve had the closest guess. We all thought it would be months ago.” There was a mixture of communal laughter and agreement.

Turning back toward Bucky, Nic caught him in mid yawn prompting a chastising inquiry, “when’s the last time you slept?”

“Not since cryo,” Buck reluctantly admitted. 

“James Buchan-”

“But, I was asleep for what...a month?”

“Yeah, I’d like to see you debate the validity of that logic with doc,” Nic wittily responded. “Let’s go to bed.” Nic wrapped her arms around his neck as she leaned in for another kiss, ignoring any unknown onlookers. Sure enough, the housemates were still present and making said presence known with variations sarcastic groans of disapproval.

Bucky pulled Nic off the counter, placing his flesh arm around her hips as he replaced the abandoned ice cream before making way to Nic’s bedroom. Shifting his hands along her thighs, Bucky glanced down and gave a smirk as he recognized her clothing selection. 

“I take it you like my sweatpants.” In the dark room, Bucky made his way to her bed, leaning over Nic as he slowly let her back fall to the bed.

“Mhm,” Nic affirmed as she pressed her lips against his, prompting Bucky to shift their unified form onto the pillows. “And I heard you like what’s underneath.”

Pausing all advances, Bucky leaned back on his elbows, shooting a look of betrayal and confusion toward Nic. 

Nearly laughing, Nic confessed, “Steve told me you true motive for lagging behind on our runs.”

“That punk,” Buck smiled as he leaned down toward Nic, slyly pressing kisses along her jawline. “He said he wouldn’t say anything.”

“Uh huh,” Nic egged him on, intertwining her fingers through his hair. “What else might you have told him in confidence?”

“Well, there was one more thing.” Dropping his flirtatious façade, Bucky perched back up on his elbows and looked at Nic with those blue eyes, longing for her. “I told him I’ve been wanting to take you on a proper date.”

Trying to stifle a laugh, Nic replied, “I told him I was going to ask you out myself when doc finally thawed you out.”

Smiling, knowing the answer but desiring to hear it, Bucky continued, “so, what’s the verdict, doll?”

“Yes, I’d love to,” Nic giddily responded. “We sure do things backwards, don’t we?”

Huffing out a light laugh, Bucky nodded in agreement as he rolled off Nic and the two fell fast asleep, molded around each other, before they could finish working out the details of their date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh!! What do all y'all think??
> 
> See, I told you! Light at the end of the tunnel! And, guess what?
> 
> It get's better. Just wait out for one last piece of gold after this.


	41. Nothing Shy of a Miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last tug at the heartstrings!

Laughing, Nic glanced over to the man to her right who was delivering quite the suggestive smile. “Yes, sir; but, we better not be late for training. We don’t need _another_ interruption by Steve.”

“Speak of the devil,” Bucky raised his metallic limb to greet his childhood friend in a strained side hug in an attempt to not jostle the intravenous catheter in his right arm, currently collecting the last couple pints of blood. 

“You two talking about your Captain?”

“Yeah, you and your lack of ability to knock on a door,” Nic retorted, raising her eyebrows. 

Steve’s face immediately turned red in recollection of the event as Nat and Sam laughed behind him, having been updated by the intrusion by Nic and Bucky respectively. 

“Alright, Nic, your last collection is complete,” Dr. Cho chirped as she made her way to the now decent group forming in the midst of the medical bay to remove Nic’s collection tubing and bag. “May I speak with you in my office?”

Nic’s smile faltered slightly as she glanced toward the doctor in a failed attempt at reading her expression. “Uh, what is it?”

“I have some images from your last scan that I’d like to show you,” Dr. Cho tilted her head toward the opposite side of the medical bay, where her small glass encased office was nestled. 

With a worried glance toward Bucky who unintentionally reciprocated the expression, Nic gave the doctor a curt nod and followed. “Doc, you’re really starting to worry me.” Dr. Cho was silent the entire walk toward the small office, peaking Nic’s nerves as she continuously spun the metal band around her left ring finger. 

Cho closed the door behind Nic before flipping through Nic’s medical file on her tablet. Nic looked quizzically at the lady before her given that the doctor implied they needed to be in the office to view said images. Before Nic could mentally debate further, Cho passed her the tablet with a grey scale image. 

“No need to be worried,” Cho offered a genuine smile that, much to Nic’s surprise, emitted great comfort. “Remember when you came to me a while back with the blood in your urine?” 

Nic offered a subtle nod in affirmation with a quiet, “yeah, a few times.”

“What you’re looking at in an image from your scan just after the attack on the compound.”

“Okay…” Nic’s eyes scanned the image, identifying the zoomed in portion as her pelvic region; although, she was still lost as to how that was supposed to provide any answers. 

“This is where your uterus _should_ be.” Cho pointed to a slightly shaded orb with a lighter outline within a darkened region on the screen as she continued, “you can see part of the organ that they failed to remove.” Nic took in a sharp inhale, understanding the doctor’s reference to the Program’s means of ensuring infertility by simply, albeit messily, removing an entire organ. Cho took the tablet and held the device up in the air as she continued, “ _this_ is why I was completely thrown when the tests on your supposed _blood found in your urine_ came back with tissue exclusively found in the uterine lining.”

“Excuse me?” There was a long pause as Nic could feel the gears in her head turning, attempting to decipher this newfound information. “So, the blood didn’t come from…” Nic vaguely pointed toward her nether regions as Cho nodded her head in understanding, prompting her patient to piece the puzzle together. “Oh,” opening and closing her mouth repeatedly, Nic finally quickly blurted, “but, that’s impossible.”

“That’s what I thought; so, on the last scan, I made sure to do a repeat of your pelvis. And finally the results are making sense.” Cho swiped through other images until she landed on a near identical image but with a more recent date. Angling the screen toward Nic and pointing toward a hallowed, darkened sphere like shape, Cho continued with an expression of sheer amazement. “Nic, the transfusion from Barnes jump started some sort of unprecedented, latent...miraculous healing. Your body just regrew nearly an entire organ.”

With widened eyes, Nic stares back at Cho. “So, the blood was-”

“That was your period; light spotting; but, nonetheless, your period,” Cho blurts out, unable to wait any longer for Nic’s mind to connect the dots of this absurd puzzle.

Nic’s awe-filled stare shifts out the office window to her four teammates who all don concerned expression. Their evident emotions go unnoticed by Nic, though, as the shortest Avenger can feel the gears in her head ticking as she understands the newfound information, but she struggles to believe what this information means. 

Flinging one arm up to cover her mouth upon sudden realization, Nic allowed her free hand to gently clasp over her lower abdomen. “That means I can have my own?” Nic knew her wavering voice came out full of vulnerable hope; but, she didn’t care. 

Smiling and forcing down hopeful tears of her own, Dr. Cho responded, “medically, I can’t give you a definitive yes; but, I’m really leaning towards it. All the pieces are there, just give your body time to regulate itself with a new organ.” Blinking back tears as her patient allowed a few to fall, the doctor concluded, “Nic, I think you’ve regained some fertility.” Seeing Nic nod with a broad smile behind her clasped hand as her gaze never faltered from the scans, Cho made her way to the door. “I’ll let you mull all this through, okay?”

Nic nodded in affirmation as she lowered her hand and mouthed a nearly inaudible “thank you,” as the doctor exited the small room. 

Sitting and simply staring as her mind continued to sort out being doused with this kind of news, Nic was suddenly interrupted by the door abruptly swinging open as Bucky immediately wrapped his arms around Nic. 

“Doc said you may want some time to process things; but, I just couldn’t leave you in here alone.” Bucky pulled back and held her face in his hands, pausing upon identifying her expression as positive. “Nic, you okay?”

Nodding, Nic’s smile widens even further as she tilts the tablet that was pressed between their two bodies allowing Bucky to see the grey scaled image. 

“Uh, is that your...uh…” he tilted his head then gestured toward Nic’s lower abdomen prompting Nic to shoot him an are-you-kidding-me look.

“Uterus, James. It’s a scan of my uterus,” Nic flatly spoke.

“Yeah,” Bucky huffed out as if he knew the answer. “What does this mean, though?”

“Cho said, by some sort of miracle, when your blood reacted with my body, it…” Nic set the tablet down as she couldn’t help but smile, still struggling to succinctly explain Cho’s observations, “reversed my sterilization. Even though that’s _impossible_. But, it _happened._ ” Nic laughed, out of sheer elation as Bucky’s smile continued to grow as she finished, “so, I may be able to conceive. A baby. I-I can have a baby.”

Smiling ear to ear, Bucky pulled Nic in, pressing a quick kiss against her forehead before providing a correction, “we can have a baby.”

Not sure if she was crying or laughing more out of utter joy, Nic jumped into Bucky’s arms as he pulled her body flush against his, allowing her to wrap her legs firmly around his torso like she had done many times before. With her palms along his jaw, Nic pressed her lips against Bucky’s in a passion filled kiss. When they broke for air, Nic looked into those steel blue eyes that she always sought comfort in and saw nothing but pure joy. 

Quickly glancing towards movement that caught his eye, Bucky’s watery-eyed gaze was met by Steve, Natasha and Sam’s joint looks of confusion. 

“Let’s go share the great news.” Nic followed Bucky’s gaze to see their three teammates impatiently waiting outside and nodded in agreement. 

Before walking through the door  with his fiancée still in his arms, Bucky paused and looked up toward Nic with the most endearing smile he could muster. “Doll, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! What did y'all think??


End file.
